Friday, December 16, 2005
From David Letterman's Late Show:
Top Ten Signs You're A Gay Cowboy
10. "Your saddle is Versace"
9. "Instead of 'Home On The Range', you sing 'It's Raining Men'"
8. "You enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'"
7. "Sold your livestock to buy tickets to 'Mamma Mia'"
6. "After watching reruns of 'Gunsmoke', you have to take a cold shower"
5. "Native Americans refer to you as 'Dances With Men'"
4. "You've been lassoed more times than most steers"
3. "You're wearing chaps, yet your 'ranch' is in Chelsea"
2. "Instead of a saloon you prefer a salon"
1. "You love riding, but you don't have a horse"
Back To December 2005 Archive
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
fascinated by how men rationalize having sex with other men. Of course, the AIDS crisis has had considerable impact on how gay men rationalize sex, either protected or unprotected sex.
Two economists, Steven Dubner and Steven Levitt have sampled 150 men and women who had a relative who is HIV positive. While the sample size is small, not one of the gay men in the survey admitted that he had had sex with another man in the last five years. I guess these guys are either scared shitless or don't believe in protected sex. These gay men have assigned an enormous value to staying healthy. They don't want to engage in gay sex no matter what the tempation, because they have personally seen in a relative the implications of living with AIDS.
The authors believe that beginning in the 1990's, some gay men equated having unprotected gay sex with a very high economic value. That value was determined by cost of drugs, inability to work, healthcare costs etc. But this was before living with AIDS was manageable. Still there are many gay men and I include myself as one, that prescribe to the rule that unsafe sex is not an option. So I as a gay men, would equate and place a value on unsafe sex as beyond value, because if I was approached and offered money to perform unsafe sex, no money in the world would tempt me to do so.
These economists using 1992 as their base determined that it would take almost $2000 to persuade and convince a gay man at that time to have unprotected sex. I question this because it is an average. As we know, there are some gay men who are duped or fall into that "moment" where they engage in unprotected sex, so they do it for free. Gay prostitutes probably are divided into two camps, those HIV negative and those HIV positive. But with infecting someone with HIV unknowing leading in some cases to criminal prosecution, I would image that the cost of legal representation and lost wages as a result of imprisonment as well as the stigma of never holding a particular kind of job again, would make this value far more than $2000.
This is a somewhat unusual post for me. But I thought it could be informative. What it concludes that our sexual actions can sometimes be determined by value, either monetary or nonmonetary. A guy who can smooth talk convincingly and lays out for some drinks, can in the long run for the guy being seduced into unprotected sex, a very cheap pickup.
Your value to me as friends is immeasurable. You guys are worth far more than $2000. Though I sound like a damaged CD, I can never say too often, play safe.
Monday, December 12, 2005
As you can see, this Daddy Santa helper is not one of the brightest bulbs on the light string set, but he's got his heart in the right place, he's hunky, and is ready to make sure you get from Daddy Santa what you have written on his list.
For me, walking steady with a cane would make me very happy. Also getting my strength back and being able to lift weights and be able to do stomach crunches and pull ups again, would make feel almost like my previous self once more.
You guys have helped me very much so far. I will always remember that.
So don't be shy. Daddy Santa isn't a mind reader. But since I've worked with him in the past, I know that he always makes a supreme effort to reward really good and sexy gay boys and men with pleasures that will be welcomed and enjoyed over and over again. Like big hairy muscle hugs, you can never get enough.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I guess I started cutting down my own Christmas tree in 2001. It was my mood perhaps. Probably it had to do more with my finances that year. Whatever I wanted to say that I cut down and hauled back to the house my very own Christmas tree.
In those back woods grew one tree nice enough to cut down. I was particularly horny that day. Since no other houses were built at the time, I had privacy. It was a warm day so I put on a pair of my logger boots, a jock, an open flannel shirt and headed out back to cut it down.
It was something I had thought about for a long time. I knew I had to do it that year, or forget the fantasy, since the lots next to my house were being sold off. I really had fun cutting it and hauling back through the basement and up the stairs and out to the deck.
One thing you have to do when you cut a live tree is have ready a solution to fireproof the tree.
It is a simple solution that has consistently worked for me. You take a combination of chlorine bleach,20 mule team borax, lemon lime soda, Karo clear syrup ( which by the way tastes great licked off some hunky man pecs or a stiff cock, whatever your preference), cider vinegar. You mix all of this and then add, liquid wool wash detergent. The cut tree is placed in a bucket of the solution and sits outside until you are ready to bring it inside. This mixture makes 2 gallons, and the tree just loves to drink it up.
Another hint about a live tree. Remember to bring it in and have it set in the tree stand over night so that the branches can fall naturally before decorating it. I love hanging Harley ornaments, and I make my own from long red licorice laces. More about other uses for these later.
As you all know, this year I can't be Daddy Santa's helper. I am trying to have a normal Christmas, but walking with one crutch makes me somewhat dependent on others. Since I am always the active guy, who helps Daddy Santa shower naughty studs with Christmas treats, it is especially difficult for me this year to assume this role. So any of you out there with this desire, please assume the position. It really is a rewarding undertaking.
In Christmas's past, I would love filling boots left for Santa with various hot stuffers. I love giving to my buds jockstraps, cockrings, and condoms. After all, giving is far better than receiving. I also enjoy stuffing these boots, be they leather, molded plastic, or molded paper mache with goodies such as those long red licorice laces. The boys really love tieing their balls with them. Also chocolate mouse mixes, whipped cream, anything cream filled such as candies, make great stocking stuffers. This doesn't have to be expensive. But imagination does make things interesting.
I hope that this has given you studs some interesting ideas for that last minute surprise. I'm sharing with you stuff that you won't find in any Martha Stewart book or tape. I guarantee that they will thank you over and over again.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
As reported in the Washington Blade, Mark Dalton,25, was released on parole Nov. 22, 2005 after spending 383 days in the Denton County Texas jail for illegel drug possession.
Dalton wants to return to his bodybuilding and modeling career and reactivate his web sites. Whether he returns to porn was not mentioned.
Mark Dalton is his professional name. His legal name is Jeremy James Son. His parents went to the correctional facility to take their son home.
Mark said that his stay in jail was very low profile. Some of the inmates wanted to start fights with him because of his muscular build. What kept him sane was the 10,000 pieces of fan mail he received during his jail time.
Let's hope Mark's partying days are behind him and that he can turn his life around.
Friday, December 02, 2005
I didn't know that recovering from surgery could make a guy oh so horny. Play safe and have a sex filled weekend. Sorry I hit the repeat key on the leather stud. Oh well, a guy can never get enough of a hot leather stud, so this guy's pex (oh I meant, pix) definitely warrants repeating. Big hairy muscle hugs.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
I wish that someday, a cure for AIDS would be developed. Sure, having AIDS is no longer a death sentence, but I hate to see anyone living their lives with a daily pill regiment and always fearing illness. That's why I write these blogs in the hope that prevention will allow less gay men to be exposed while the cure is being developed.
Twenty years ago I spent a week in San Francisco visiting sick patients in the AIDS ward. That week of faces and suffering lives on in my memory. As I recuperate from my surgery, I know that with everyday, I will be getting stronger. But those living with AIDS live their lives with a mixed bag, a future that gives them life, but also uncertainty. My prayers are with all of our gay brothers living with AIDS.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Is It Just as Manly for a Guy to Piss Sitting Down on the Toilet Seat As It is Standing and Peeing Into the Toilet Bowl? Curious Minds Want To Know
Well, I thought about this since in the course of my recouperation, I have had to piss either standing up or sitting or lying down. Because of my temporary limited mobility, the plastic urinal has been like a repository, always there to collect my piss while I am in bed.
But then in the morning I get my crutches and empty the urinal into the toilet. Then I have to decide how I am going to piss and this is determined by the amount of pain and/or the stamina I have to stand and urinate. Most mornings instead of straddling the toilet standing using my crutches, I sit down on my elevated toilet seat with handles and piss. I find that more comfortable and less demanding on my hips.
Do I think of myself as less of a man because I piss sitting down.? Hell, no. Before the operation, I found it easier for myself when I first get up out of bed naked to sit on the toilet because I can't really tell if I need to take a shit or piss. It was sort of out of laziness that I did that once during the day.
Today in the mail I got the December issue of Details magazine and low and behold on page 172, the author james Glave rationalizes while it just might be ok for a guy to pee sitting down. He writes from the perspective of the male/female household which doesn't apply to any of us. He says that in the battle of the sexes, one thing could be easily agreed upon, that the seat should be left down.
I just wanted to thank all of you for writing and wishing me a speedy recovery. I'm taking one day at a time. Tonight might be especially hard for me, being Saturday. I'm as horny asthe day is long. But I'm in no shape physically to relieve that feeling for now. Hopefully you guys will fill the void in my absense. Have fun and love your man like you never have before. Be creative and I guarantee you that it will be the best sex you've had in a long time. Never take your sexual prowlness for granted. Have great, safe sex and be sure that I will be thinking of you in my dreams.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
I have been anticipating this for some time. From a top guy's standpoint , our hips are our shock absorbers, our pistons, a necessary part of the body that enables us to be in fluid motion, giving our partners their pleasure and making the whole experience happen.
So for the past two months, I've haven't been a whole man. Fucking was very painful, so I abstained. Now I am in recovery and mending.
I am told that I have joined a selective but expanding group of guys in their forties who have had hip replacement surgery. I am doing rehab and the drugs, vicodin, are really great. But I am weaning myself off of them gradually as I begin to regain my strength.
So what ever you do with that muscular, golden Butterball today, you know that I'll be there with you in spirit. Big hairy muscle hugs to you guys, You are the best and I miss you all very much.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
The Continued Cry for Safer Sexual Practices: Sounding the Alarm as Cases of Syphilis Increase Among Gay Men
There have been 7,980 new cases reported by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) of gay men with syphilis. While this number is small, experts say the stats are worrisome because increases in sexually transmitted diseases (STD) are indicators of projected increases in the transmission of the AIDS virus.
All of this because of the rise in risky sexual behavior by gay men. One cause is the growing use of crystal methamphetamine or Tina.
San Francisco, as usual, had the highest incidence of syphillis with a rate of 45.9 cases per 100,000 people. Atlanta, second with 34.6 cases and Baltimore third with 33.2 cases.
So with the rise in STDs comes the increase use of fluoroquinolone antibiotics. However there is increased resistance to the antibiotics in recent years, with a 6.8 percent rejection rate in 2004.
Some scientists and researchers attribute much of the growth to new and more aggressive screening programs rather than to increased transmission.
But because not all gay men report their symptoms, researchers estimate that as many as 2.8 milllion cases of STD occur each year for all sexually active who become iinfected, not only gay men. That is a staggering number and reason to be concerned.
The report concludes that the total number of STDs in the US each year is about 19 million, almost half of them among people ages 15 to 24.
These are sobering statistics. Again, if gay men used condoms during sex, some of this could be avoided. It's up to responsible top men to stop the spread of STDs. By playing safe, these infections could be drastically reduced.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Dr. Ruth is telling it like it is. I applaud the noted sex therapist for taking such a stand.
She makes this simple observation, that "everyone is either straight or gay."
She was responding to a male letter writer who indicated he was becoming more attracted to men, although he had a "steady girlfriend".
"Everyone is either straight or gay.", she wrote. "Some people go throug an in-between stage where they are perhaps not sure, but eventually tahey fall into one caategory or the other, so that there really is no such thing as being bisexual." Bravo, Dr. Ruth.
But the bisexual community were quick to respond to last month's article. Female bisexuals were particularly offended. They did not like Dr. Ruth saying that her opinion was based on scientific research. She quoted, Michael Bailey, a Northwestern University psych professor, who reported that bisexuality in men did not exist. He has been blasted for using flawed methodology. I refered to his experiment using subjects and erotic videos in an earlier blog.
Others like the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, GLAAD, also criticized Dr Ruth's advice on bisexuality. A spokesperson for the group chided Dr. Ruth for "perpetuating myths about the lives of bisexual people-in essence rendering them invisible."
I think Dr. Ruth took a courageous stand. She addressed the male writer and her advice was correct, in my opinion. Maybe the terminology is wrong. Say this guy butt fucks his "girlfriend" and she likes it. And he's also attracted to men for the same reason. Maybe the terminology is all wrong. He should be labeled a "buttfucker", meaning a guy who loves to fuck butt regardless if the butt belongs to a male or female. That certainly would clarify the issue.
This controversy will linger on for a long time. You guys know how I feel. While I do believe in the "in between stage", I don't believe that a male can truly be bisexual. He's as gay as you and I. For some reason, he just can't face the fact that he's gay. He's not true to himself and not true to his male partners. Any gay male who finds himself in a relationship with a bisexual male is in for a long and bumpy ride.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Our favorite movie hunk, Peter Sarsgaard, is back again, this time in two awesome movies, "The Dying Gaul" and "Jarhead". Gaul is in limited release and Jarhead opens everywhere, today, Friday.
The film, Gaul, revolves around Robert (Sarsgaard) and his sought after screenplay, "The Dying Gaul". Campbell Scott, costars as Jeffrey, an attractive, bi-sexual (here we go again stirring up the plot with the menancing bi-sexual) studio exec who approaches our hero with an indecent proposal of sex which hasn't been seen on the screen since I imagine, "Indecent Proposal". (Could that have been a gay porn flick?)
The exed want militantly gay Sarsgaard to change the gender of his script's central character from a man who is dying of AIDS to a woman, and offers him $1 million for the change and his troubles.
Our hero jumps for the hero and dives into bed with the bisexual Jeffrey. Robert proceeds, as Steven Holt reports in this weeks Washington Blade review, to change Jeffrey to a "really needy bottom".
The scenes are really hot and border on Falcon porn flicks. In particular, there's an unforgettable mutual masturbation sceen between Jeffrey and Robert. The camers is this close as Robert reaches what might be the greatest male orgasm Hollywood and the movie public has ever seen on the big screen. So that's reason alone to see this movie or check it out once it gets to DVD.
Not all of the movie is sex, and the conclusion of this film noir thriller is not for the squimish.
Craig Lucas, who lost his partner to AIDS in 1996, is a director who wants to tell the true story of man2man relationships and feelings. He doesn't sugarcoat what he wants to present on the screen. His visions are real, accurate, and don't exploit the story line. He achieves success because he can translate what he feels as a gay man onto the screen.
Without having seen it, I give it 4 heads up.
I almost didn't mention "Jarhead" which costars Peter as a fellow marine buddy of the title character played by Jake Gyllenhaal, the hunk of this movie. There is alot already written of his shirtless scenes in several blogs. Some have already said the shots of his chiseled body is definitely material to jerk off by. Hopefully this movie does as well for Peter. I read that Peter didnot have the time Jake did to pump up his body for the flick. But I'm sure our Peter won't disappoint us.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Being Halloween weekend, I thought this subject might be appropriate.
The Kinsey Institue at Indiana University has recently revisited this subject. This is in light of a study published last year raising speculation that there may not be a true bisexual male. That study has led to a lively and open debate on whether the bisexual male really exists. The Kinsey Institute is sheding more light now on the subject.
For the study, a team of psychologists from Northwestern U. and the U. of Toronto examined 101 men, 30 heterosexual, 33 bisexual and 38 homosexual. These guys rated themselves on the seven-point Kinsey Sexual Attraction Scale, hetero score from zero to one, bisexuals from 2 to 4 and queer scoring 5 to 6.
Each man viewed a set of 2 minute, sexually charged films sandwiched between neutral, relaxing videos. The rotic films depicted either two men or two women having sex.
If the men became genitally aroused, mercury-in-rubber guages worn around the mid-shafts of their penises like rubber bands would measure increased penile circumference. The men also had levers to indicate when they felt subjectively aroused.
Gay men registered as expected, so did heteros. But those identified as bi, the results showed that these guys were bimodal, meaning aroused by men or women, but not both. About 75 percent of these so called bi guys tested showed arousal patterns identified to those of gay men.
Some guys such as Eric Demporio, feel that they are truly bisexual and have sought out support groups for bisexual men. He says that arousal isn't the only thing thing that defiens a person's sexuality.
Critics say that the entire bisexual population cannot be represented by 33 sampled men. While studies like this are flawed, they do lend support to the theory that bisexuality may not be just a phase, but something to hide behind.
An associate at Kinsey feels that the Kinsey scale is not being truly represented. He says that a guy can measure his sexuality on the scale based on either physical arousal or emotiona connections, which can be different. He also states that a person's physical arousal to a movie might not be indicative of a person's real life arousal responses. Again it all depends on the movie. If it involves S&M, some guys are turned on, others may be turned off. It's a matter of choice. He also said that it is possible that bisexual men didn't get aroused to the films involving two women becuase there weren't any men in the films to relate to.
One of the Northwestern U's authors, Gerulf Rieger, says that for some of the men in the study, bisexuality might have been a trasnsition phase. A similiar study in 1994 concluded that 40 percent of gay men surveyed said they defined themselves as bi before finally admiting that they were gay.
Rieger says the conclusions of the study was not intended to be proof of the nonexistence of bisexuality.
Everyone who studies bisexuality agrees that more research should be done. By simply talking to guys about thier sexualities is the one guaranteed way to understand different sexual identities. While that may be true, there is always the tendency to lie. Maybe when we as gay men are truly accepted as equals in our society that the truth can finally be revealed.
I continue to believe that bisexuality is a cop out. I never had the notion that I could be a bisexual. I have always been a gay man and one who has learned to be proud of who he is.
I do agree that for some men, even if they both claim to have the same sexual orientation, that doesn't necessarily mean that they feel the same. There are degrees. Some gay men are more effeminate, while others are super charged raw, rugged men who just crave for m4m sex. The measurement of how we feel is all over the rainbow spectrum.
So whatever you dress up as for Halloween, drag, vampy, in uniform, leather, whatever, enjoy it and just be yourself. In my book, you are all woofy men. Big hairy muscle hugs, and this is no Trick or Treat.
Friday, October 28, 2005
The 68 year old actor considers himself having been out for quite some time. He and his partner, Brad Altman, have been together 18 years. I wonder if Dr. Spock or Captain Kirk ever suspected this.
Mr. Takei came out to the Associated Press while being interviewed for his onstage role of psychologist Martin Dysart in "Equus" in Los Angeles. This interview corresponded with the gay rag's, Frontiers magazine featuring a storing on Takei coming out.
He had lived in a Japanese-American internment camp in California from age 4 to 8. He had felt, as a young man, shameful ahout both his ethniciity and his sexuality.
So yet another actor who is widely known for a role has come out of the closet. Whether this will continue will be anyone's guess. The more the closet opens, the more we as gay men can live our lives normally and equally. Acts like this show straights that yes, we are everywhere.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Also steamy on the screen are Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain". I read the short story on which this flick is based several years ago, and it is stunning. These guys really do love each other and show it under the open Western sky.
Also there is a German import called "Guys and Balls" which features a gay soccer player who is outed and then with the help of his sister, forms a new team. There is love making among the two star soccer players of the new team, that really kicks ass both on and off the field.
So look out for these flicks coming to theaters and DVD next year. Seems that Hollywood and beyond wants to entertain us. If we support these films, more will follow. And I am all for that. WOOF.
Friday, October 21, 2005
He revisits the New York Times 2003 story about gay men and the threat of anal cancer.
Since that time, the cases have only increased and I want to shed some light on Dr. Mass's findings.
Anal cancer is being diagnosed among those who are not HIV infected and is being found more commonly among those who are HIV-positive with a frequency that deserves our attention.
The incidence in gay men is 35 per 100,000 compared to 1 per 100,000 in the general population. HIV-positive men are atwice as likely to get get anal cancer as those who are not HIV-positive.
Th evillian is the Human Papiloma Virus (HPV) which is of the same family of viruses highly associated with cervix cancer in women.
So the only way to detect the cancer is with a pap smear. And getting one if you are a bottom and sexually active is a must. If you are negative and sexually active as a bottom, there is treatment. A new , highly effective preventive vaccine for HPV will be widely available sometime in 2006. It should be highly effective in treating anal warts and anal cancer. Dr. Mass advises that everyone keep current with new medical breakthroughs and see a doctor who is versed in gay male medicine for treatment. Currently the vaccine is in trial and so far, has shown 100 percent efficacy in preventing the viruses that cause anal cancers.
Another doctor quoted in the article, Dr Goldstone, recommends that gay men who have had receptive anal sex receive rectal examinations within a year of their first experience. For many bottoms, that is too little advice too late. I urge all bottoms to get this examination. It would be comforting to know that you are healthy and can then most benefit from the vaccine.
These pre cancerous lesions can take years to progress to cancer and can often be treated successfully. Anal warts have been shown to be a marker for anal cancer, with 60 percent including some area that is either cancerous or precancerous in a study with which Dr. Goldstone was involved.
The clear message here for sexually active gay men who regularly have receptive anal sex is prvention, regular screening, early detection, and treatment as early as possible are the key steps for minimizing the anal cancer risk. Top men, particularly, should gently urge your partners to undergo screening. If you love him for more than a good fuck, I urge you to speak to your partner and allow him to know that you care upmost about his health. That's what we are brought together to do, sexually and as gay men, to take very good care of each other's health needs. For good sex now and in the future, it's all of our responsibility.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
I am sure all of you have had one night stands that when you were led into his bedroom, you almost barfed. The place was cruddy. The sheets weren't changed in ages, and everything was scattered everywhere. Here's a signal guys, that this might not be Mr. Right.
While we can't always be Mr. Clean, we can make the right impression. Clean sheets, a bed that is made, clothes hung in the closet, makes for a great first impression. You want to make him feel special, and your bedroom got to exhibit that.
I like leather sheets and pillow cases. I also like flannel. I change them weekly so when I ask a guy over, he feels well treated and is looking forward to having some fun. First off, we both head into the bathroom and take a shower together. Rub a dub is a great way of getting clean and making foreplay. Toweling him off is another way to make the night magical. If you are lucky enough to have a soaking tub, that too can become a great way to unwind and get him hard and soapy all at the same time.
So this one time, I do agree with Woody. If you want to impress your guy, get your bedroom in order. Clean the night stand, have everything you need readily nearby, and make him feel like he's never felt before. Hell, you can always get a good night's sleep. But good all night sex is what can make you fall in love with him this time or all over again.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I know, what's a gay guy to do with bushels of tomatoes? I like to mash them to a paste and freeze them for pasta sauce. But what I find most fun is canning a dozen jars and savoring them for some fun later.
You might have heard of that custom in Spain during harvest time, where one town has a tomato blast. People get plastered with tons of tomatoes. It looks like a lot of fun.
So if you are a tomato guy like me, keep some jars handy for some good lickin fun on a dreary winter day. It's like wrestling in the mud but redder. I pour the jars onto a plastic sheet on the floor, preferably in the basement and with some friends, have some good clean fun. It does get messy and very sloppy and slippery, but it sure beats freezing your balls off outside.
Before I close, I want to thank those of you who have posted to my last blog. You guys have really made my day. I appreciate all the comments. I felt guilty not posting much in the past two weeks, but with outside work and taking some time off to help my Mom, I just couldn't get near a computer to write. That's all for now. Big hairy muscle hugs.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Friday, September 30, 2005
One of the scheduled attendees, Dr. Jeffrey Klausner is reported as saying that San Francisco was poised to eliminate syphills in 2000. However there have been thousands of new cases since that time. He said that gay men seeking treatment for sexually transmitted diseases report an average of 18 partners in a prior two month period. Could Viagra and its competitors responsible for this, or are gay men hornier during the summer months?
He further links these erectile dysfunction drugs with an increase in risky behavior and an increase in sexually transmitted diseases in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York. The good doctor wants Viagra and the others classified as controlled substances and thus have the FDA be able to regulate their usage and curtail their illegal distribution. What's a party boy to do?
He wants the ads modified and free samples given by doctors eliminated.
Pfizer Inc. which manufactures Viagra has said that it does have a safe sex message but it is more tailored to the general population that to gay men who have high risk sex.
They wiggle around this by saying that Pfizer strongly suports the efforts to prevent the spread of HIV and STDS though education of safe-sex practices. However I haven't read anywhere that Pfizer is putting its money where its mouth is, by donating funds to gay men's health groups to combat unsafe sex.
Ken Mayer, medical research dirctor of Boston's Fenway Community Health, says that an educational push targeted at gay men to use Viagra could also help dispel the growing perception by some that HIV is a manageable, not fatal, infection.
According to his study, 18 percent of Boston men seeking treatment there said that they used Viagra during the preceding month. Nearly 8 percent had used csystal meth, and 10 percent had used Ecstasy. A positive correlation between getting high, having risky sex and staying hard. Houston, do we have a problem?
Ken feels that the drug manufactures of erectile dysfunction drugs would not want their drugs to be perceived as "gay" drugs. But the data definitely points to the fact that they are being used in gay sex.
I don't use Viagra because I don't need it. I've talked about Viagra before and if a guy has problems getting hard, than certainly he should try it. But just for the sake of have a long lasting erection and having risky sex, I feel that a guy with that purpose in mind would be misusing it.
Viagra and unsafe sex are a dangerous combination that should be avoided by sane gay men everywhere. You can play safe and still be able to fuck your partners brains out. It's all in the way you pursue that pleasure that matters most.
They found the newer samples appeared not to multiply as well and were more sensitive to drugs-while some other studies argue they are becoming more resistant.
They were only able to compare 12 samples from each time period, so the sampling could have a probability of error.
The scientists, putting a positive spin on their research, said that the HIV virus that causes AIDS may be causing death at a slower rate.
The study concludes that as HIV passes from one person to another, it has already toned down some of its most pathogenic effects in respone ot its host's immune system.
So the study suggests, that over several generations, HIV could become less harmful to human hosts. Let's hope that this comes to pass. But in the meantime, playing safe is the only certain prevention from being exposed to HIV.
Dr. Marco Vitoria, an HIV expert at the World Health Organization, said that other diseases, such as smallpox, TB and syphillis, had shown the same tendency to weaken over time.
However Dr. Vitoria stressed that the latest findings should lull people into a false sense of security.
The study does add to the body of evidence indicating that HIV is howing no signs of dying out in the near future. Grim reality.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
My main goal in writing Buff's Tufftalk is to share with you gay sex and all of its ramifications from a top man's perspective. I have tried to write about topics that could make a difference on how, we as gay men, perform in the sack, have sex responsibly, and do so with some fun and imagination.
I shared with you the pitfalls of cruising as well as as what's hot under the sheets. I continue to believe that each one of us is very sexy and is hot in each of his own way. If I do stand on a soapbox, it's only to promote safer sex. I know we aren't robots and emotions drive us to do what we do.
Touch, I feel, is a very important part of the sexual experience. Being a nipple man, touch is the ultimate sense in foreplay. Sure, sight and sound play an important part as well. But it's during foreplay that can drive your partner absolutely crazy with desire.
I have met many fellow queer bloggers along the way and I cherish everyone that I have come into contact with. What makes blogging fulfilling is the fact that someone is reading your blog and feels that it is important enough to comment. That feedback is critical, a sign of acceptance. And taking a few moments out to comment shows me that my blog post was significant and that you shared or had an opposing view that meant a lot to you.
My adventures in life are from a first person perspective. But I didn't want this blog to be an online diary. I wanted it to reflect who I am and what I feel about being a gay man today. Issues such as same-sex marriage are important to all of us. Our human rights, equality, health, enjoyment, pleasure are all issues that I find fascinating and crucial in our daily lives.
I hope to continue to be faithful to my writings and to you guys. You made all of this happen.
And in my own small way, big hairy muscle hugs of thanks. I could not have continued the commitment without you.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
the writer views the gay marriage issue as one of normality.
In Massachusetts, gay marriage is legal. Over 6,600 same-sex couples have married over the past year without punishment, heckling, no signs of adverse effects. The sanctity of heterosexual marriage has not been destroyed. Public morals are the same before as since gay marriage. No spurn by the electorate in Massachusetts. Legislators who supported gay marriage in last year's vote have been re-elected. And the good part, those gay couples, who had been in a monogamous relationship for years prior to 2004, have rejoiced at official recognition of their committment.
Critics of gay marriage in Massachusetts have softened somewhat. It seems that gay marriage, as it turned out, is good for family values. Gay parents are loving and nuturing, and now their families are recognized in Massachusetts.
But there are others who are ready to raise their ugly heads. These opponents are now getting behind Gov. Mitt Romney's proposal that would ban gay marriages without allowing civil unions, ignoring the decision of the Massachusett's Supreme Court in 2003 that ruled that under the State Constitution, same sex couples had the right to marry.
The writer hopes that this new cry of fear and bigotry will be squashed as well. But the bible thumpers will not be silenced. They will continue to work to overturn the court ruling. In the meantime, gay couples continue to get married and get on with their lives. And that's the way it should be for all gay couples everywhere.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Jeremy Willliams, a New Orleans dancer, and His Story of How He Was Forced to Leave the City He Loves
According to a Washington Blade article posted at their website for this week's issue, (read it at http://www.washblade.com, Jeremy, whose hometown is nearby Opelousas, Louisiana, had just gotten settled into his New Orleans apartment last month to begin school, continue his love of dancing and love of New Orleans. But that big broad, Katrina had another future for him and countless other survivors.
He was looking forward working during Southern Decadence to make some extra money for school and life. He went to work at the gay club, Oz, the evening of Saturday, August 27, during the remaining hours that NOLA stayed intact.
That night, business was slow at OZ, but the guys who worked there were confident that things would blow over and were looking forward to the crowds to show up during Labor Day weekend for Southern Decadence. That would be too optimistic beyond belief.
Oz is a 24/7 club like all of the French Quarter. But the music stopped at about 3 am on Sunday, August 28. Th owner had stopped the music and told customers and employees that the hurrican was headed straight for the city. He paniced at first. Most of his buds had already fled the city. But it so happened that one bud, Perry Stelly could give him a lift later that Sunday to Lafayette.
On Monday, Labor Day, it appeared that the storm had veered to the east and had spared NOLA. But as we later all learned, it wasn't to be. The 17th St levee broke, flooding vast areas of the city.
The Lakeview area, a gay mecca, was flooded. Gay men had spent vast sums of money to restore many of the old homes there. Now their investments, their homes, their lifestyle, was in ruins. But Williams was resourceful. He had internet access and post updates of his whereabouts on his bigmuscle.com profile. Sites like bigmuscle and bigmusclebears have been a lifeline for many gay men during this crisis.
Jeremy isn't the kind of guy that just sits around. He volunteered for six days at the Lafayette Red Cross shelter. He started out manning one of the registration tables. His job was to answer questions about who had registered at the shelter. Most of the inquiries were about finding loved ones. Sadly he had to turn away so many to the next nearby shelter because those who were missing had not registered at that particular shelter.
But a guy, however good natured and well meaning, can take this dispear for so long. After nearly a week, he had to quit volunteering. So gay men to the rescue for a fellow survivor.
Jeremy had met Howard Marr and John Spano of Hollywood FL, four years ago. John managed CUPID's, a gay dance club in West Palm Beach. Jeremy got several dance gigs at the club and returned to the area from time to time to work. In fact, Williams had lived in Fort Lauderdale with the two men earlier in the year before returning to Louisiana in July. He contacted them, but at first could not get to Fort Lauderdale. Luckily, Stelly's mother back in Lafayette, could give him a lift to Houston, where he was able to purchase a ticket for a one way flight to Fort Lauderdale. He got to Howard and John's place on Wednesday, September 7th.
Jeremy is ever so grateful to his two buds. But he fears about the prospects of New Orleans gay bars returning to their past glory. He worries about his friends and whether they will be able to return to work. Most of Jeremy's possessions are still back in his New Orleans apartment.
He also suffers from hearing loss, and was eligible for a hearing aid from the state. Now all of that documentation is lost in the red tape, probably lost, because of Katrina. So he has to struggle with this and also postpone training to become an emergency medic.
He says that he misses above all, his magical circle of gay friends back in NOLA. I think Jeremy will bounce back. His story is but one of thousands that could be told by gay men after Katrina.
They are in our hearts. Things will bounce back. And guys like Jeremy will, hopefully soon, be able to return to their beloved New Orleans, to party and to live their lives again, but with a twist. I don't think any of them will take for granted next time the uniqueness and spirit that New Orleans offers to gay men. And it will be gay men that will contribute to its rebirth.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Investigators appointed by the Vatican are out to seek "evidence of Homosexuality" and also to weed out those faculty members who dissent from church teaching. Oh brother!
The bottom line here is, "anyone who has engagbed in homosexual activity or has strong homosexual inclinations" should not be admitted to seminary. Well, if this is held to close scrutiny, that might tag about half of new seminarians as unfit, and a further drain on the already stretched army of priests serving parishs in the U.S.
This purge is the result of a conclusion that about 80 percent of the young people victimized by priests in the U.S. were boys. A kind of purification of the priesthood sounds to me, like not willing to accept the fact that gay men are priests and if that was recognized, then perhaps allowing them to serve God and love themselves might be achieved.
The catechism of the Catholic Church says people with "deep-seated"homosexual tendencies must live in chastity because "homosexual acts are intriniscally disordered". And straight priests who abuse everything imaginable, are somehow, good examples of what a Catholic priest should be? Give me a break.
Reverand Reese, thinks otherwise. He says, "You could have somebody who's been in the seminary for five or six years and is planning to be ordained and the rector knows they're homosexual." "What are you going to do, throw them out?"
One of the "questions" that the reviewer must answer, "Is there evidence of homosexuality in the seminary?"
A gay priest who was not allow to identify himself for the New York Times article, says, as such, that these questions will make gay priests question whether they should ever have been ordained.
So what will come of this inquiry is anyone's guess. But to make all gay priests scapegoats is unfair. The Catholic Church needs to look inside itself and question its doctrine before punishing gay priests. The quick fix never works.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Reports of an increase in hate crimes has increased in recent months in the South Beach area of Miami.
The slurs of 'fag" and being hit with rotten eggs from passing cars is become the common occurrence lately.
Not too long ago, South Beach, was characterized as a gay haven. It has become less so because of these incidents.
On July 4, Carl Zablotny, the gay publisher of Wire, a gay entertainment rag, was punched in the face and knocked unconscious by two young men who made anti-gay remarks.
As these incidents become more common place, gay men are thinking differently about South Beach. Some are leaving, like Antonio Dumas, an owner of a gift shop and deli on Ocean Drive.
He was tired of the verbal harassment and shop lifting, so he closed his shop and relocated. He doesn't have any regrets.
The number of gay clubs has dwindled in recent years. Warsaw, Torpedo and Hombre have bitten the dust. But others still thrive, like Twist.
I guess it all depends on location, location, location. The Palace, a popular gay bar and restaurant on Ocean Drive seems to be insulated by the problem. It is situated between two 4 star hotels. It doesn't have the drug addicts and homeless people that Washington Ave. around 9th Street has.
Even a leatherman can't be too save. Incidents have been reported from men leaving the Loading Zone. These crimes aren't just happening to twinks and drag queens. They seem not to discriminate.
So the word to the wise, if you're plan on going out to gay establishments anywhere, especially when traveling, watch your back. Don't go out alone. And by all means, strut like you mean it. You don't want to be the next hate crime statistic. I love you men too much to see any one of you getting hurt.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Its founder, Cleve Jones, seems to have had a falling out with the foundation that now cares for the AIDS quilt. However this past Wednesday, the two sides reached an agreement.
Both sides agreed that Jones will be allowed to nominate four finalists for two positions ong the foundation's board of directors which come open each year.
Jones had created the AIDS Quilt and had been its spokesman from 1987 until 2002. The quilt has grown over the yeas, and now weighs 50 tons. They stopped expanding it several years ago.
I know when I saw it in 1993 that I was deeply touched and moved by it as it spread along the base of the Washington Monument and the Smithsonian Mall. At that time the entire quilt was displayed.
Since that time, portions of the quilt are being displayed in cities throughout the nation. However that does not have the same impact.
The new leadership moved the quilt from San Francisco to Atlanta in 2001 and this move provoked the split between Jones and the group.
It is a shame that such pettiness reared its ugly head. So many of the quilts depicted the lives of bear men and leathermen. Some were very poignant and moving. I will always be deeply touched by the show of love and commitment that went into these quilts. The men who died during the early battle of AIDS will not be forgotten.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Will "the Terminator" veto AB 849, California's Civil Marriage Protection Act or Will He Be A Man and Sign the Legislation?
The bill is all enclusive and protects all families who are the most vulnerable to discrimination.
Equity California has been on the forefront in the battle for gay marriage. But with passage by both the Assembly and the Senate, all of these efforts may have been in vain for now.
The Traditional Values Coalition has been relentless in its opposition to the bill. It supports Proposition 22, a law enacted trhough a ballot initiative in 2000 which states, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."
There will be plenty of litigation as the battle rages on. The religious wrong are spearheading efforts to put two measures on the ballot as early as next year to amend the California constitution to block relationship recognition for gay and lesbian couples.
The last state wide poll on the subject taken last month has likely votes evenly split 46 percent on the issue of civil marriage for same-sex couples.
The grass roots campaign that led to passage of AB 849 is not going away. They will continue to press legislators for their support to uphold the vote.
So the more the public is brought into the conversation and educated, the more we gain ground in winning their support.
Regardless of whatever happens in California this week, the issue of same-sex marriage is not going away. Afterall, it's our right to be married and the benefits of that recognition that's at stake.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
A British gay men's health group, GMFA is encouraging all gay men, whatever their HIV status, to take responsibility for preventing the transmission of HIV.
From a survey GMFA conducted, it concluded that many gay men expected other gay men to take different levels of responsibility depending on their HIV status or whether they were top or bottom in sex. To me, that means that the top man is responsible for making sure safer sex is engaged.
So it's a blame game, gay men expect HIV positive sexual partners to reveal their status before intercourse. Also HIV positive men feel that it is up to their partners to take care of their hown health and assume that anyone willing to have sex without a condom is also HIV positive. We all know where "assume" gets us, but never assume, just put on the condom.
One in four gay men, according to the study, who had not been diagnosed HIV postive had been receptive in unprotected sex with somone whose status they did not kno or who they knew to be HIV positive. In this case, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" doesn't work. So ask and tell, every time you hook up for m2m sex.
So their campaign focuses on the presumption that it doesn't matter what your HIV status is, it's up to every guy to take responsibility for the sex they have and to stop the spread of HIV.
Period. This is something I have advocated for years.
This positive campaign focuses on teaching HIV positive gay men to protect themselves from more deadly strains of HIV. This is a valiant effort which I applaud.
To learn more, log on to http://www.metromate.org.uk/responsibility
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Ricky reports yesterday that without any fanfare, Sean Penn was seen helping with survivor and rescue operations in New Orleans. There are others there I suppose, just as determined to help. They are truly the unsung heros. My thanks goes out to Ricky for all he is doing. Big hairy muscle hugs and be safe. Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Reports from NOLA have found many dead bodies floating in the water and the relief efforts continue. FEMA estimates that it could take up to six months to get the water out of New ORleans and then the city would have to dry out, taking up to 3 months. Then all that mud and debris would have to be removed. This could take a lot of time. So estimates of up to 2 years before people can return to a functioning city would be realistic.
Reports citing tattered but proud gay flags hanging in the French Quarter are evident signs that things can and will eventually return to normal there. This has to be the case. NOLA has been welcoming gay men to celebrate and party for many years. Southern Decadence was celebrating its 33rd year this year but was postponed because of Katrina and the damage caused by its wake.
We just got to be patient and be ready to support our favorite gay bars and hang outs there when the time comes for them to reopen. They are part of our heritage, regardless if we have ever set foot in them. Our gay leather and bear brothers who have been displaced from NOLA need to know that we are thinking about them and haven't forgotten about them.
From hardship comes renewal. I know that things can only improve. With guys like Ricky, this will happen.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Steven WRIGHT OF Guerneville, CA and Mark Kraynak of Uniontown, :PA had been missing for more than a week.
THeir bodies when found by the police, were severely decomposed and were identified by their clothes.
Autopsies will be conducted to determine the cause of death.
THE bodies were found in a stone quarry in Laval, Quebec, CA.
Wright and Kraynak had spent the summer performing at Remington's, a gay strip club in Toronto. Before returning to the US, the pair along with a friend and their agent decided to visit Montreal.
The two after staying in Montrel left their hotel early on August 22 and said they were going to an after hours club in Laval. That was the last time anyone heard from them. The quarry is located near the club.
Kraynak had wanted to be a fashion model, but soon he became involved with the porn industry.
He said he was straight, and was angry when the club promoted him as a gay stripper. THE ex-Army soldier was afraid that his girlfriend might find out.
Wright was known as a party boy and enjoyed his stripper duties very much.
Some said that he was like a kid in a candystore.
Too bad for both these guys. They found out the hard way the risks of being in porn. It can be a very ugly business, especially for a guy who is pretending either to be gay or be straight.
Their fun was deadly. They may have pissed off the wrong guy, and ended up dead.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Well our Michael has a new program on HBO called Sex Inspectors. It is a British import that takes the minicam into straight couples bedrooms in Britian while he and a female cohost critique the sex tapes as part of the program.
Michael was contacted for the show because the producers felt that a gay sex expert would be unbiased in his analysis. Maybe so, but since we men aren't cunt lovers, I guess Michael is one hell of an unbiased judge.
Michael says that for gay male couples, the no. 1 problem is mismatch libidos. Well, if the guy isn't quite ready, that's when the top guy steps in and makes his partner feel so special that he'll be ready quicker than Dolly Parton changes wigs.
He also feels that some guys need more foreplay, others less. Well, Michael, that's when reading the other guy well cums handy as well as a nice backup drawer of toys. Yes, mood plays a very big part in the overall outcum of sex. But a guy has to prepare himself and warm-up, somewhat, like an athlete. It can help to get not only the cock pumped, but the biceps, triceps, pecs and thighs, to be at his best. It takes a hell of a lot of muscles, the total package as well as the brain, to make sex pleasurable and enjoyable.
I wish Michael all the best in this endeavor. Gay men dress straight men, why not give them sexual advice. But I doubt I could learn anything from a straight ass guy who likes his woman all made up in lace, lipstick and perfume. A tall pair of leather boots and a smile is all I require. WOOF.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Upon entering that area, the user has to confirm that he is 18 + y.o. and agrees to the release, "The providers, owners and creators of this site are released from any and all liability which may arise from (my) use of the site." Heavy content, I must say.
This is discrimination, pure and simple, since the other categories do not require such an release.
The company responded with the following statement, "men seeking men users, they're of a culture that is different than the others." So what does that make us exactly, perverts?
So if you use craigslist, then you might feel a little slimey. But hell, just stick with the tried and true such as bigmusclebears.com, adam4adam, dudesnude and manjam, among others.
I wish all the men the best of Labor Day weekends. I know your thoughts and prayers are with our brothers living in the New Orleans area affected by the tragedy that has unfolded this week.
I love New Orleans,NOLA, have been to Southern Decadence, and appreciate all the friends and guyz I met there. Southern Decadence will be postponed this year, unfortunately. To all those Christian right groups that have blamed SD with Katrina, I say, BullShit. NOLA has been the place for all types of lifestyles to party and enjoy themselves. Don't target musclebears and the bear community for this hardship. We guyz know better. Have a great Labor Day weekend. Big hairy muscle hugs. All my love. We'll make it through together.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
This week's Washington Blade has an interesting perspective on this issue.
Various obituary writers and editors were interviewed for the story. One, Kay Powell of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, says that some local older gay couples have worked hard to keep their sexual orientation closeted. She honors their request and says that it would be "disrespectful" to out hem against their wishes.
Others have chimed in from around the world. Nigel Starck from Australia who is an expert on the subject feels that there is a world wide obsession to include spouses, regardless of gender as survivors listed in obituaries.
However most of them feel that rumors have no place in the obituary. It has to have been published before to be credible, according to some of them interviewed.
Next month, the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association will address the issue during a panel discussion. "the Closet, Six Feet Under", durng their annual conference in Chicago.
Eric Hegedus, president of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association points out that "Part of the problem is if someone hasn't lived openly or spoken openly, you're not going to be able to prove it journalistically."
However others feel by leaving it out, the obit writer is telling a "half truth". Some feel that leaving out a person's know sexual orientation allows for segregated reporting.
Taking that secret to the grave, however, is something very important to various closeted indiviudals. Only time and the truth will free these gay souls in the long run.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The excuse, city police said, was that the center did not have a city theater license.
The suit says that the ordinance was selectively enforced because the city is a gay organization and that a permit was never required for other productions in the past.
The lawyer for the center says that since it is a charitable organization, it is exempt from the theater permit requirement. The center promotes and produces theater presentations that benefit gay-related groups and that proceeds were designated for various AIDS research groups.
A city ordinance prohibits frontal nudity but exempts theater and other art performances from the ban as long as they have "serious artistic merit" and does not "provide sexual gratification".
The suit seeks damages caused by shutting down the performances.
Not a surprise, the police were tipped off when local evangelist Drew Heiss filed an open records request for a copy of the center's licenses tgo serve alcohol, show nude photos and have nude dancers.
Besides the Atlanta shut down, in January, a federal court ordered the city of San Juan, PR to pay local producers of Naked Boys Singing $1.3 million in compensation for closing the campy musical a day before it was to open at the state government owned theater. That's about $130,000 for each butt dimple.
Why gay men can't put on a musical production that both sounds and looks good is beyond me.
Having it continued to be shut down just raises publicity for the musical. Sure, who wouldn't want to see a chorus of hot guys singing naked. The homophobics may have won this battle, but the war is not over, not for a long shot. Keep singing naked, boys and make us proud. Hell, even if you turn the other cheek, there's plenty more to show off. WOOOF. And let the homophobes cry in their beer.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The Metrosexual: An Image/Lifestyle Created By Advertising Agencies To Promote More Expensive Product Lines to Men
It says that the so called metrosexual revolution created the illusion of enlightmnet about the fluidity of human sexuality, but it's mostly about stylish straight guys acting more macho than ever.
This metrosexual identity or gay vague, the writer, Simon Dumenco, goes on to say, amounts to a suble form of homophobia. This new homophobia creates language and subtext to pointedly redefine what's acceptable for straide dues while simultaneously keeping gay men safely on the other side. So straight guys who follow this principle are being led to be gayer in terms of their toys and fashion without turning queer. How divine!!!
Simon points out that this "revolution" began in the late eighties with Calvin Klein underwear's campaign putting up billboards of hot men in bulging tighty-whiteys to define sexuality. This continues today. A feature on the TV show, Sunday Morning, this past Sunday quoted the President and Founder of 2xist men's underwear to swear that sexuality is what sells his underwear. No kidding.
Gay guys have become icons of fashion style because they dare to try new things and have the disposible income to explore their fetish. But this style goes only so far. It has to be bankable to the masses of straight men without appearing too gay. So marketers created a new market, that expanded upon their language to attract women and gay men, to lure straight guys to start acting more feminine/gay to push product.
So these metrosexuals, who are mostly in love with themselves and no one else, seek to hold on to their "manhood" at the same time behaving both "girly" and macho in their desires. Sounds pretty mixed up to me. The author even goes as far to say that pop lyrics are being transformed to cater to the metrosexual young man who loves his manicure and pedicure, who wants to be "fed" by his woman, blah, blah. Gag me with a spoon.
If you are standing in line at a store or happen to be by a newstand, check this issue out. The photo on the opposite page is a treasure. It has these hot gay leathermen surrounding this guy in a suit and tie. I guess the metrosexual guy wants to relate, but in a butch way, without giving up the pleasures and pampering of life.
This hogwash leads me to believe that Madison Avenue advertisers will do just about anything to sell their client's products. So enjoy the metrosexual revolution while it lasts. We all know who the real men are. We don't have to pretend to be anything but ourselves. And that's cool in my book.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
It may seem romantic, sexy, and non stop cruising, but it can be lonely too, according to a recent article in the Washington Blade.
Timothy Anderson, who is President of the GayTruckers Association, says that while he is independent, it came at a price. "Your friend's lives keep going while you're on the road, and (he) became very much isolated within the tgrucking culture to the point where all of (his) friends were truckers." This life is hard on relationships and hard to find a trucker bud, even at the truck stops/rest areas or "pickle parks" as they are affectionately called.
But finding anonymous sex along the open highways is something that almost every gay trucker has experienced. At the rest areas, "the crusiing is quite active and probably more active now than it's ever been. . . It's not talked about and people doen't even like bringing it up." Sort of a "don't ask, don't tell". These guys don't like to broadcast the perks of being a trucker and surely don't want the cops messing up a good thing.
Tim Page, also quoted in the article, cites the popularity of cruising and plugs his web site, http://www.gaytruckers.com and their magazine, Gay Truckers Classifieds.
Tim and Scott Langley started their magazine in the mid-1990s and operated it for the first three months as a general interest magazine for all truckers. But when gay truckers wanted to take out personal ads, both men knew that this would forever be a magazine by and for gay truckers with over 2000 subscribers and a print run of 5000 copies. The gay truckers web site boasts more than 44,000 registered users.
Scott points out that the sexual deviants are in the trucking minority and that most gay truckers are tired of bieng put on a "sexual pedestal". That reflects on gay truckers in a negative way, he further says.
Despite its rugged facade, pointed out in the article, the trucking industry is actually a relatively progressive arena with marginal levels of sexism and homphobia, gay truckers say.
"There's a lot less homophobia in trucking than in a lot of other industries because the job is just so tough that you instantly gain respect from fellow drivers, even it they are straight, just because you are out there.", says Scott. At first, Scott pretended to be Tim's cousin when they hit the road as a team, but admits that sexual orientation is a non-issue for most employers.
In May, Green Bay, WI based trucking company, Schneider National, rolled out a marketing campain to recruit same-sex couples as big rig driving teams. The company also includes sexual orientation in its employment diversity statement.
One of the issues that the industry has failed to address are the numerous gay truckers who are HIV-positive. It would help if management had some understanding of the challenges HIV positive truckers are facing in their daily lives, says Scott Anderson.
So guys, if the open road is calling you, odds are that you can comfortably fit in driving a big rig. There are a lot of gay truckers out there. 10-4 good buddy.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The Washington Post ran an interesting article in yesterday's paper, titled, "Vowing to Set the World Straight." The article first focused on the fallacy of this fraud. Nicholas Cavnar had thought that he wasn't gay anymore, after going through the therapy. Then 9/11 came, and he discovered as he knew all along that his oddysey from gay to ex-gay to ex-gay-gay was a waste of his gay life, that afterall, he was gay from the beginning. His greatest regret was the 26 year sham of a marriage whereby he inflicted pain on his straight wife and their three children.
The article next interviews a reparative therapist Richard Cohen, an ex-gay. He says that he overcame his homosexuality with the help of a heterosexual mentor who "gave me the warmth of my daddy's love". Give me a break. This guy is covering up his desires for male2male sex, disguising it as a need for daddy love. He likes being smothered by a daddy figure. How can he say that he has been "cured" of his homosexuality. A big hoax. This guy is now a therapist, oh my God.
Cohen, however, is not a "real" therapist and in 2002, he was permanently expelled from the American Counseling Association (ACA) for multiple ethical violations. According to the article, Cohen was found to have violated six sections of the ACA's ehics code, which bars member from actions that "seek to meet their personal needs at the expense of clients,", those that exploit "the trust and dependency of clients", and for soliciting testimonials or promoting products in a deceptive manner.
He blames his gayness on being molested as a child. Surely, that is a tramatic experience. Countless gay men have faced that. His parents even accepted his homosexuality. But still, Cohen had to drift and drift several times, pretending to be straight but having male boyfriend flings in New York. But now, he says he is "ex-gay".
Like Anne Heche is the only true bi-sexual in the world or the greatest actress alive, (check her stint on Everwood, the WB series), Cohen may well be an "ex-gay", but I really doubt it. He is going to stray again, and again inflict pain on his wife and his children. The shame of all of this is that he isn't man enough to admit he is gay. That reality we have all faced. We faced it, accepted it, and now live our lives accordingly and openly. Anything less is a life sentence of self betrayal, self pity and self persecution.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
A recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) study on HIV prevalence among men who have sex with men concluded that 48 percent of gay and bisexual men had tested positive for HIV but did not know it.
The system is broken, concluded Michael Weinstein, President of AIDS Healthcare Foundation.
"We need to normalize HIV testing and incorporate testing as a routine part of healthcare screenings. Testing and outreach also needs to become more easily accessible to the public, particularly to those in high risk groups such as men who have sex with men (MSM)."
This sampling of HIV test gay men occurred in Baltimore, LA, Miami, New York City and San Francisco from June 2004 through April 2005. Of the 2,261 gay and bi men sampled who were tested, 1767 had one or more male sexual partners. Of these 1,767, 35 percent were white, 27 percent, hispanic, 25 percent, black, 7 percent multirfacial and 6 percent Asian/Pacific Islander.
Participants were recruited from bars, 30 percent, streat locations, 20 percent, dance clubs, 19 percent, gay stores, 10 percent, gay pride events, 6 percent, social organizations, 5 percents, gyms 5 percents, sex establishments, 3 pecents and parks 1 percent.
Of the 450 HIV infected MSM, 48 percent were unaware of their HIV infections. The authors of the stuy concluded that to decrease HIV transmission, MSM should be encouraged to receive an HIV test at least annually and prevention programs should improve the ways of reaching gay men unaware of their HIV status.
On the prevention end, no news here. The safer sex outreach needs to be expanded and include the realization that gay men need to be educated and reminded about HIV transmission and safer ways to have MSM. No getting around it. Knowing HIV status is important, but prevention is the key to lowering the 40,000 new cases of HIV developing each year.
Friday, August 12, 2005
While he didn't grow up in such an insane environment as Augusten Burroughs, he did have more than the average childhood.
His dad was very supportive. His mother fizzled out of him early because of the divorce. His sister was always more than supportive and Dougall has been mystified by psychics for a very long time, though he is only in his early to mid twenties.
Dougall used the psychic world to deal with and understand being gay. It brought him the majority and helped him to use his gift to help others before eventually helping himself become a happy gay man.
Dougall calls himself a life coach. And I wouldn't argue with him. He became a full fledged psychic after leaving home in New Jersey and heading for Dallas, because he was hoping to be a
certified massage therapist. That didn't quite pan out, but his psychic powers did. Soon he was on local Dallas radio and was giving readings to powerful and monied members of Dallas society. Abut soon this wore him down and he decided to return to his home and try to make it in the Big Apple.
He struggled at first, living at his dad's house, but soon things came together. He arrived when he was featured on the John Walsh talk show. Now he is in the big leagues, partnered with his Jewish boyfriend, and on top of the world.
He gives a lot of advice, which I'd like to share with you. "When you are living the laws of attraction, what you want comes to you much more easily." He believes that" the main reason people come for a psychic reading is that they're in pain." His goal is not to give reading after reading, making people dependent on him or his guidance. His goal is to show the person that he/she has the answers. What makes a psychic reading so intense, is that he shows people that he can pick up these things of their lives, the painful issues, without them ever saying a word.
He feels that he can also teach them to see energy that's all around them. He feels that he can only kick start someone's life. It's what you do after the reading, not what is said during one, that is where your true destiny lies.
With that food for thought, just try sitting back, relax, and if you got a problem, explore other ways and not crutches like food, drugs and alcohol to approach it in a way that's best for you. We're here to help. That's what big hairy muscle hugs are for. They work a lot of magic, but only if you believe.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
"Why Do Men Have Nipples?".
I fuckin know the answer. Because they get turned on my male nipples. Well, I say that from experience.
Really, according to Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg, while only females have mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo. The embryo folls a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in. Thank God for that.
Nipples for me definitely have a function. They are to be proudly displayed whenever possible.
So when Details, in its August issue on newstands now, posed the question, "Should a Man Show Nipple?", I cried out, fuckin yes.
The article says that guys are just showing off their bodies more. A female quoted in the article states, "But I suppose if a guy has on a nice tight lycra blend T shirt with visible nips, I might have a hrd time not saring. As far as it being a turn on, that totally depends on the guy. She goes on to say, Guys wearing shirts tight enough to display their nips, wouldn't be the type of guys who wouldn't notice ours." So true lady, so very true.
So I say, proudly display your nips whenever you can. Never ignore or neglect them. Give them all the attention they deserve. And they will always stand at attention at a moments notice. Now that's what I call sexy.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Men getting naked during an onstage performance helps the play connect with its audience.
The lastest work to be presented with men in the buff is "Terrorism", an Off Broadway play by tghe Presnyakov Brothers, much of the male cast appearing nude.
The undressing room definitely has its supporters in the theater these days. In the last fifteen years, there have been 25 play with full frontal nudity with men's role being the overwhelming majority, 40 to 10 female roles. So what is this obsession about the male nude body performing on stage?
Some feel that the gay revolution of the 90's and so many gay authors and performers acceleratored the scope and variety of the productions. Theaters began to produce plays that took a full-frontal view of sexuality. Terrence McNally's 1994 play, "Love!,Valour!,Compassion!
exposed the lives and relationships of six gay men and contained a memorable scene in which the cast went skinny dipping.
Jame Nicola is quoted as saying, "I think you could say that gay people coming out of the closet has paralleled the arrival of the penis onstage."
Jason Butler Harner, a hot actor, has appeared nude onstage five times, including his most recent effort in Jon Robin Baitz's "Paris Letter". It fills the seats, says Harner.
Nicola says, "I think an artist who chooses to use male nudity is tring to communicate something." "And I think a penis is more theatrical."
But for some audiences, the elderly and students, male nudity is the kiss of death. So it has to be used for a target audience, one who understands and appreciates the message as presented onstage.
I recently saw the excellent play, "Take Me Out", based on a story about a ballplayer who announces after he signed a multi-year multi million dollar contract that he is gay. Baseball and the locker room and the showers. Images that go together, where ballplayers congregate most of the time off the field in the clubhouse.
"Take Me Out" has a 10 minute all-male shower scene where the players talk about their play on the field and other things. Is is necessary to tell the story? Hell yea. Why you ask? Because the play is about coming out, being excepted by your teammates, and in the nude, the players bare not only their bodies but their souls.
A very graphic scene later on involves the gay baseball star and the player who is homophobic.
The gay player confronts the homophobe who is showering. The gay player both shows his masculinity and puts the homophobe in his place as he tackles the guy in the showers, knocks him to the floor and holds him down, showing him that he isn't going to take any more shit from him. Being the top guy, the gay player portrays his dominance over the homophobe. This positioning is key to showing that the gay player is equal to his teammates.
Without the nudity, "Take Me Out" wouldn't have the same impact. So if you enjoy gay theater and male nudity, check out "Take Me Out" and the other gay male musical revues touring the country. Prime beef never looked or acted so good.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Because Key West never needs an excuse for celebrating anything, Key West is hold festiviities with include a "Dragged from Tampa" drag show. a march and parade down DuVal street and a gender bending re-enactment of June's Hillsborough commission's meeting in whch the ban was approved.
Several chartered buses will be descending upon Key West from the Tampa Bay area.
Pride in Exile falls more than a month after Key West's own gay pride celebration and organizers say that this event is part protest, part economic boost, since the area has slower summer business this time of year because of hurricane season and the heat factor.
Key West's moto is "One Human Family". So they didn't hesitate a second about hosting this weekend's event.
Greg Needham, an organizer and owner of the local newspaper said, "We wanted people to come down and experience pride in a community where residents and officals fully support it."
The spoof will have a drag queen play Hillsborough Commissioner Ronda Storms, who proposed the gay pride ban. Organizers noted that Storms has a perfect name ofr a drag queen, and they said her character will end up in a swimming pool before the end of the production, an ode to the Alexis Carrington and Kyrstle Carrington drag outs from Dynasty. Should be a laugh riot as well as sending a message to Hillsborough County that such hatred of gay men and lesbians is an embarrassment to them. An Anita Bryant clone we don't need now. And look what happened to her once some angry drag queens got through with her.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Augusten wrote a hilarious book several years ago, titled, "Running With Scissors." That great book has now been made into a movie and all of a sudden, his "family" is up in arms and is suing Burroughs, who is gay.
Their lawsuit, filed in Massachusetts claims that Burroughs "mercilessly and repeatedly" defamed family members "so as to sensationalize his past to make the book marketable while knowingly causing harm and humiliation" to the Turcotte family, with whom Burroughs lived after his disturbed mother turned guardianship of Augusten over to her pyschiatrist, Dr. Turcotte.
The book came out in 2002. Where have these people been all these years.
The book's publisher, St. Martin's Press, at the insistance of their legal advisors, renamed the characters. Dr. Turcotte became Dr. Finch, who looks like Santa Clause and acts more like Alfred Kinsey. His household is in shambles, a Christmas tree stays up until summer, an electrochock therapy machine is displayed under the stairs, and a pedophile lives in a shed in the back yard who molests the young Augusten. When Augusten doesn't feel like going to school, Dr. Finch helps him fake a suicide. Lots of valium keeps this circus going in all three rings.
The moive version, to be released next year by Sony TriStar, stars Gwyneth Paltrow as Augusten's mother, Annette Bening and ALec Baldwin and Dr. and Mrs. Finch and Vanessa Redgrave as the deranged aunt.
Howard Cooper, the Turcotte's attorney is quoted as saying, "With the forthcoming movie, the family is living in fear that there will be utter devastation to their reputations and the invasion of the privacy will be complete." Hey, they could turn all of this into a reality series. So why all the fuss and fuming?
The suit, in addition to seeking damages for libel, defamation, fraud, invasion of privacy and emotional distress, asks the court to order public retractin and a public statement taht the book is fictional, and requests that distinction be made in all future publishing runs, paperback versions of the book.
When reading fiction or an autobiographical work, there is some fiction in the non-fiction and fact in the fiction. The genres are blurred.
For the sake of interesting reading, I believe that Burroughs used the truth and expanded upon it, plain and simple. This family was a bunch of wild, wide eyed lunatics who lived in squalor or great clutter, however you see it, and probably did commit criminal acts, innocently or ignorant of the law and let other unlawful conduct get by under their noses.
If you haven't read the book, do so. If not, do wait to see the flick. It should be a gem.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
I love the gay rodeo. It has something for just about everyone. The events, the cowboys, the excitment of competition, the cowboys. Oh well, you can't say I have a one track mind.
Details Magazine has made the gay rodeo cool to guys who read the publication. In the August 2005 issue, Sonny Koerner, Mr. Atlantic States Gay Rodeo Association 200 proundly sits on his horse bare butt and loving it. This guy is what makes the International Gay Rodeo Association what it is today, the third largest rodeo association in the world with 20 scheduled events annually. One of the biggest is Cowtown Rodeo in Dallas Fort Worth. While I haven't been to the Cowtown Rodeo, I've been to several others, and I always left the weekend with a smile on my face.
The gay rodeo community, like other communities, can be clickish, but it gets down to business to host these annual events. The turnouts are large and while PETA loves to picket, these rodeos are very animal friendly. It's more about raw skill and determination in events such as the barrel run, pole bending and flag race, and the crowds really get into the action.
I loved one quote in the article about how to wear your Wranglers or Levi's 517's which almost all rodeo guys subscribe to: "They should be tight enough to show what religion you are." Now that's some kind of form fitting jeans.
Some find the drag events entertaining. I usually tolerate them, because they give the cowboys a rest from the main competitions. The drag queens compete annually for the title of Miss IGRA. These events combine camp and athletic prowlness and show gay strength in a Stonewall kind of way. These guys take the competition seriously and the winnings go to worthy gay causes.
Sonny Koerner, one of the champions on the circuit, was a kid growing up loving horses and the rodeo. He was skeptical at first, but later realized, while attending a gay rodeo one weekend, that this is the real thing and embraced it.
One of the fun and frustrating events is the goat dressing competition. Putting on a pair on underpants or udderpants, (oh brother, I couldn't resist) on a goat is harder than it looks. Cowboys like to mix up their competions and compete in both the stock events such as steer riding, bull riding and chute dogging and the goat dressing competitions.
Sonny has won many a buckle. While not on the circuit, Sonny is employed as a counterterriorism expert in Washington, DC.
The article concludes with a funny confrontation between Sonny and one of the patrons of a local DFW gay C&W bar. The dude tries to grab Sonny's ass. Sonny responds, "Do you realize that you can't (grab my ass) this time?" The troll responds, "What do I have to do to get a belt buckle?" Sonny replies, " I typically don't give my buckles away. I earn them and they mean something to me". The troll pouts and stamps out of the bar area. Sonny concludes, "Now of course, the real story is that those goat dressing buckles and stuff, I might have given a few of them away." Yea, Sonny, I know a few hot guys that would love strutting one of your buckles.
So if you got a little spare time the rest of the summer, check out the gay rodeo circuit. For more info, click on, http://www.igra.com
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Read in the NY Blade that the GayCo productions of Chicago is going to present, Weddings of Mass Destruction, a satire with songs and sketches about same-sex marriage in America, to be held August 12-28,2005 at the Lucille Lortell Theatre on Christopher Street in lower Manhattan.
This how is sescribed as a "satirical atack on the state of our union: political, poignant, and heartbreakingly hilarious, (someone must have paid off the reviewer)". It goes for the jugular, as the Queer Eye guys transform into pink-faced minstrels, Alyssa Milano hets her lesbian toruch song hommage, stuff like that.
It is billed as the revue that boasts comedy scenes and satirical songs that explore America as a land where everyone, struggles equally to connect or get laid. Sounds like my kind of revue.
In the meantime, have a great day and big hairy muscle hugs. Glad to be back.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
He is a conservative wrapped in a pretty bow. He is youngish, 50, and ifapproved by the U.S. Senate, will be able to shape our Nation's laws for many years to come.
What we know about this man is that he is a Washington insider who clerked for William Rehnquist when Rehnquist was an associate justice and worked in Bonzo's and Daddy's administrations.
He is a long-standing member of the Republican National Lawyers Association who gave little brother Jeb private legal advice during the 2000 presidential election recount.
He is no friend of gays or gay marriage. He was the one who convicted a young girl who was caught eating french fries on the Washington DC metro system where eating food is prohibited.
This guy likes to send a message, his message and interpertation of the law.
Some parts of his record contradicts itself when it is useful to do so. He is quoted as saying that a women's right to choose was "wrongly decided and should be overruled". When he was up for a judgeship, he played down that earlier statement, explaining that he made the administration's case against Roe V. Wade only because that was his responsibility as its lawyer.
So what we have is a guy that can speak from both sides of his mouth when it serves his purpose.
I am not personally surprised by the nomination. But the battle lines are already drawn. Look for a long and vigorous battle waged from both sides.