Thursday, December 08, 2005
Cutting Down Your Own Christmas Tree and Other Holiday Traditions
I guess I started cutting down my own Christmas tree in 2001. It was my mood perhaps. Probably it had to do more with my finances that year. Whatever I wanted to say that I cut down and hauled back to the house my very own Christmas tree.
In those back woods grew one tree nice enough to cut down. I was particularly horny that day. Since no other houses were built at the time, I had privacy. It was a warm day so I put on a pair of my logger boots, a jock, an open flannel shirt and headed out back to cut it down.
It was something I had thought about for a long time. I knew I had to do it that year, or forget the fantasy, since the lots next to my house were being sold off. I really had fun cutting it and hauling back through the basement and up the stairs and out to the deck.
One thing you have to do when you cut a live tree is have ready a solution to fireproof the tree.
It is a simple solution that has consistently worked for me. You take a combination of chlorine bleach,20 mule team borax, lemon lime soda, Karo clear syrup ( which by the way tastes great licked off some hunky man pecs or a stiff cock, whatever your preference), cider vinegar. You mix all of this and then add, liquid wool wash detergent. The cut tree is placed in a bucket of the solution and sits outside until you are ready to bring it inside. This mixture makes 2 gallons, and the tree just loves to drink it up.
Another hint about a live tree. Remember to bring it in and have it set in the tree stand over night so that the branches can fall naturally before decorating it. I love hanging Harley ornaments, and I make my own from long red licorice laces. More about other uses for these later.
As you all know, this year I can't be Daddy Santa's helper. I am trying to have a normal Christmas, but walking with one crutch makes me somewhat dependent on others. Since I am always the active guy, who helps Daddy Santa shower naughty studs with Christmas treats, it is especially difficult for me this year to assume this role. So any of you out there with this desire, please assume the position. It really is a rewarding undertaking.
In Christmas's past, I would love filling boots left for Santa with various hot stuffers. I love giving to my buds jockstraps, cockrings, and condoms. After all, giving is far better than receiving. I also enjoy stuffing these boots, be they leather, molded plastic, or molded paper mache with goodies such as those long red licorice laces. The boys really love tieing their balls with them. Also chocolate mouse mixes, whipped cream, anything cream filled such as candies, make great stocking stuffers. This doesn't have to be expensive. But imagination does make things interesting.
I hope that this has given you studs some interesting ideas for that last minute surprise. I'm sharing with you stuff that you won't find in any Martha Stewart book or tape. I guarantee that they will thank you over and over again.