Friday, March 31, 2006
That's a quote from a Christopher Bram novel, "Gossip". Could well be justified I think, to say at my memorial, though that isn't going to happen any time soon, I hope.
I've been catching up on some reading, and while looking through a remainder pile recently, stumbled upon this book along with a Christopher Rice book titled, "Light Before Day".
Both books are enjoyable, easy reads. Both have some hot sex descriptions, and both hit hard on AIDS and the Age of Safer Sex.
It's like reading in the distant past. Hoping you are enjoying some great fiction and friction as well.
While I think of it, check out http://www.sexyhairyguys.com
This site is a fuzzy guys wet dream.
Don't forget to set your clocks ahead this Saturday before you go to bed. I know that something hot and hard will be springing up as well. Just a reminder. Yours in the public service. WOOF
Friday, March 24, 2006
Some interesting food for thought.
The Last Gay Word: Making Men Meatby Brent Hartinger, March 22, 2006
Does anyone else think it's really ironic that our society's solution to the objectification of women wasn't to stop objectifying them, but rather to start objectifying men?
You can see it on the pages of any magazine or newspaper: sleek, ropy muscles; oiled chests shaved completely smooth; nipples jutting out like pencil erasers. As a kid, I remember when they use to airbrush the bulges out of underwear ads (I know because I was, uh, looking). But now they must airbrush the bulges in. Either that, or they're keeping photography studios a lot warmer than they used to.
Same for television. Honestly, One Tree Hill, The O.C., and Smallville are just a couple of steps away from Bel Ami porn videos, except with worse acting. And it's not just that there's more male flesh more openly on display; the flesh itself is sleeker, buffer, and more ripped.
Compare the masculine ideals of yesteryear to the physical specimens of today. These days, Burt Lancaster, Rock Hudson, and Burt Reynolds would be the scrawny kid on the beach in that old Charles Atlas comic book ad. Back then, not only was there no word for a “six-pack,” no one even knew such things existed. How is it possible, in the space of ten years, to create an obsession for whole new body part? Who knows, a decade from now, we might all be envying some model's “ripped” elbows. Young men, both gay and straight, have clearly taken the new “himbo” ethic to heart.
Go poke around Youtube.com. It seems like every other video is a young man showing off his muscles. I made movies when I was teenager too, but virtually none of them involved me and my friends stripping down to our briefs and flexing. No, we resigned ourselves to movies with plots (at least if you can call a story about a man-eating wig a “plot”). Straight men who shave their backs: it's not an unappealing combination. And straight teenage girls everywhere must surely appreciate the fact that it's not just gay boys who are flossing and wearing a good deodorant. (But when it comes to body sprays, a little goes a long way, guys.)
Why has all this happened? In fact, we can pin-point the exact date it started. It was that 1983 Calvin Klein underwear ad featuring Brazilian Olympic pole vaulter Tom Hintnaus leaning back against a phallic looking white obelisk. Designed to appeal to gay men, it debuted first in Times Square, but was then emblazoned directly onto a blank spot in our collective unconscious. ",
In other words, blame Calvin Klein. For good measure, you can also point fingers at Scott Madsen, the original Soloflex guy in all those late-night infomercials. No, seriously. It's all their fault. Anyway, this is, of course, all totally gay. The weird thing is, most straight guys don't see it as particularly gay. True, Abercrombie and Fitch had a brief public relations disaster a couple of years ago when word swept high school campuses across the country that the store was “gay.” Hmm, I wonder what clued them in -- the pairs of hot young men grunting and writhing around the football field in state of frenzied pre-orgasmic rut, or the piles of naked male bodies draped together in a post-orgy exhaustion?
Anyway, straight men are finally discovering what some honest women and gay men have known all along: sometimes it's fun to be an object of desire. That said, there's definitely a downside. Spent any time around a young man lately, gay or straight? They're often obsessed with abs, steroids, glutes, and protein shakes. When I was that young, all I used to worry about was making it so my hair didn't stick out in back. Oh, and these young guys almost all hate their bodies, certain that they don't measure up to the ideal. It doesn't matter how great they actually look. "
Oh, and these young guys almost all hate their bodies, certain that they don't measure up to the ideal. It doesn't matter how great they actually look.
In other words, they sound like women. I admit that I find it kind of sad that straight society has been so eager to pick up the parts of gay male society that are potentially the most unhealthy –- our obsession with youth and looks, and the whole casual hook-up phenomenon. Admittedly, they've also picked up some of our strengths –- our ironic wit, and our interest in different cuisines. (Needless to say, we get blamed for STDs, but we don't any credit for Golden Girls and olive bars.)
Some of my dumpy straight friends are even starting to complain that they're being “oppressed” by the new male ideal. And they're right: who can measure up to an airbrushed fantasy? But as one of my female straight friends likes to say, “Finally men are getting a small taste of what it's like to be a woman in this society. Imagine growing up with a female ideal that's anorexia with huge breasts.
This new male ideal is at least possible without reconstructive surgery.” She's absolutely right, of course. Modern-day Puritans who froth and rage at the “sexualization” of men don't seem to be aware that women have always been sexualized, only no one ever seems to notice. Why would they? It's so ubiquitous as to be invisible, except to the women and girls whose souls it is crushing. And so, even now, Tom Ford stays fully clothed on the cover of Vanity Fair while Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley recline naked at his feet. Female celebrities, no matter how famous, must apparently always strip down to their skivvies for photo-shoots. "
But things are changing even here. Increasingly, Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell are starting to unbutton the top two buttons on their jeans. Soon they'll be stripped down and spreading their legs wider than Charlize Theron in a high-profile glossy spread determined to prove that she's not really the dumpy coal-mining agitator of her latest movie. This is America's idea of progress? The truth is, it just proves that this is still a man's world. Men like to look; now that gay men have some measure of power, and the stigma about them has lessened a little, corporate America has decided it's okay to give them something to look at. It's ridiculous, it's exploitative, and it's dehumanizing. But as long as it's all around us, you can't really expect me to look away, right? And that, alas, is the last gay word.
Brent Hartinger is the author of the gay teen novel, Geography Club, which is currently being adapted for the movies. "Respect Other Opinions, For Dissension is the Progenitor of Democracy"", The sequel, The Order of the Poison Oak, is just out in paperback, and his latest novel, Grand & Humble, is in stores now. Explore "Brent's Brain," his website, at http://www.brenthartinger.com/.
All of that being said, woofiness is in the eyes of the beholder. Have a great one, guys. Big hairy muscle hugs of appreciation and gratitude.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Squeezing and Enjoying It By Playing Safely. But to others, Barebacking is the Norm for Sexual Pleasure.
The following goes to show that some gay men will make any excuse to practice unsafe sex, even bending the definition of what constitutes unsafe sex.
March 9, 2006 -- Are gay men who actively seek out condomless sex – or don't turn it down when offered – different from other gay men? And what value does sharing bodily fluids with another guy have for guys who do it, given the health risks? Perry Halkitis, a researcher from New York, has been studying the barebacking phenomenon since the word started being widely used in the late 1990s."But," he told the 9th CHAPS Conference, "the more I study 'barebacking' the less certain I know what it actually is." This is because gay men use the term in widely different ways. Some use it to mean seeking out condomless sex with casual partners on purpose. Others use it to mean any sexual situation where the sex wasn't safe. And gay men often make a distinction between casual condomless sex and doing it with a boyfriend – with the latter not regarded as barebacking. Halkitis recruited a group of 102 gay guys who self-identified as barebackers and asked them to take part in a questionnaire and a series of discussion sessions and interviews on what the term meant to them. About half the group was positive and half was negative – dispelling a perception that it's largely positive guys who do it bare. They were certainly 'busy boys' sexually, having on average racked up 833 sexual partners over their adult life. The majority were white but 30% were Latino and 10% black.Half of the men had a boyfriend, but the vast majority of those also had casual sex too.
They differed in their interpretation of what barebacking meant. More than half (54%) said you could only call it 'barebacking' where the unprotected sex was intentional – but 20% said accidental unsafe sex or rather just not maintaining condom use every time meant you were a barebacker.
So calling yourself a barebacker depends on the individual or the situation. Too bad these guys chose to play such a potentially deadly game. They truly are busy boys, on average racking up 833 sexual partners in their relatively short life span. Fucking their brains out with no fucking consideration of responsibility really pisses me off. But should any of this surprise us. Hell no.
On a more pleasant note, I just want to wish all of you studs the very best of St. Patrick's Day. I cherish you as my friends. We're all IRISH today, so embrace your bud and enjoy the fun.
Friday, March 10, 2006
A lot of different things have been happening recently that both piss me off and make me mad.
Yes, I am mad as hell and I'm not going to take it!!!
Item: Brokeback Mountain gets the shaft by the Academy. What a bunch of chickenshit voters who thought they did the "correct" thing by giving Ang Lee the award for best director, yet not casting their vote for Brokeback as best picture. What a hollow acknowledgement. Brokeback was nominated for best picture, had won it in previous awards, but was denied the ultimate, the Oscar for Best Picture. I am happy to read that there is a movement in Hollywood by some who are pissed off with this outcome to acknowledge that Brokeback Mountain was indeed the best picture for 2005.
Item: Edgar gets knocked off "24". Now, you may ask why that makes me mad. Again, this is "pick on gay men week in the media" and his character might well be gay., So what happens. They allow him to come into contact with the deadly gas that was leaked from the canister, and die. Sure, our hero, Edgar was a wuss most times, but Chloe had a soft spot in her heart for him as a friend and a colleague who she could push around. Next time, I wish they pick on some hairy muscle stud to work for CTU in their operations center who is gay and who would stand up to any of those terrorists.
Item: Moving Las Vegas to Friday nights. While that might not seem such an earth shattering thing, it is a dumb ass move. I like Las Vegas because it is mindless entertainment which doesn't hurt anyone. And it gets good ratings on Mondays. But Donald Trump whines and gets their Monday spot. So what happens, Trump loses 30 percent of the audience each week while Las Vegas retains its same audience share. The show has legs, but all the same, it should not have been moved to Fridays. I'd like to be the guy to say, "Trump, You Are Canceled. Get the hell off the air."
Friday, March 03, 2006
In the latest issue of "Details" magazine, our bud, Aususten Burroughs, reflects on how he, in the past had always sought out flaws in his boyfriends and wanted to rectify these "flaws" even though he was deeply flawed both physically and emotionally himself. Call it the "bitter Queen syndrome".
I had an old boyfriend who had a similiar quark in his impressions of men. One day I had enough of his judging and said that I could always find one quality in a guy, no matter what. He wouldn't hear of it and continued to be his ultra-judgemental self. Needless to say, I dumped him like a poisonous rattlesnake, which, in hind sight, he was.
Augusten has a similiar character flaw, but he is man enough to expose himself to his adoring public in a humorous way. He starts out transforming himself, saying, "So I started overhauling my ass. And at the end of the day working on his fixer-upper house, when you've been hoisting around your own, internal two-by-fours and reuilding your joists, you really don't want to go fiddle with somebody else's (body) parts and pieces." Needless to say, none of the butts pictured above are his.
What he's trying to say that you got to accept flaws in another guy, because who are you to judge, being flawed yourself. He mentions his current love, Dennis, who has a tendency to speak in a LOUD VOICE. So he learns to live with that. And faced with a list of dislikes that Dennis readily developed, Augusten has learned to try to become more the person Dennis would like him to be. So the tables are turned.
In life you have to take the good with the bad, the bitter with the sweet. When you fall for a guy, you fall for the entire man, not just pieces. You learn to accept him as he is, so called, warts and all. You accept him and even learn to find them endearing.
All of us can become better versions of ourselves. It takes self examination and listening to others. Constructive criticism is beneficial. There is always a better way to do something. You'd be surprised what can transform.
All this said, just try to be the best you can be. I love you guys.