Tuesday, August 30, 2005

"When to Out the Dead"

Recently several deaths of gay personalities who were or weren't really out have sparked the debate about when obituary writers have the obligation to out their subjects over the objections of friends and family.

This week's Washington Blade has an interesting perspective on this issue.

Various obituary writers and editors were interviewed for the story. One, Kay Powell of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, says that some local older gay couples have worked hard to keep their sexual orientation closeted. She honors their request and says that it would be "disrespectful" to out hem against their wishes.

Others have chimed in from around the world. Nigel Starck from Australia who is an expert on the subject feels that there is a world wide obsession to include spouses, regardless of gender as survivors listed in obituaries.

However most of them feel that rumors have no place in the obituary. It has to have been published before to be credible, according to some of them interviewed.

Next month, the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association will address the issue during a panel discussion. "the Closet, Six Feet Under", durng their annual conference in Chicago.

Eric Hegedus, president of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association points out that "Part of the problem is if someone hasn't lived openly or spoken openly, you're not going to be able to prove it journalistically."

However others feel by leaving it out, the obit writer is telling a "half truth". Some feel that leaving out a person's know sexual orientation allows for segregated reporting.

Taking that secret to the grave, however, is something very important to various closeted indiviudals. Only time and the truth will free these gay souls in the long run.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Busting "Naked Boys Singing" Again

The Milwaukee Gay Arts Center is suing the city for shutting down its performances of "naked Boys Singing".

The excuse, city police said, was that the center did not have a city theater license.

The suit says that the ordinance was selectively enforced because the city is a gay organization and that a permit was never required for other productions in the past.

The lawyer for the center says that since it is a charitable organization, it is exempt from the theater permit requirement. The center promotes and produces theater presentations that benefit gay-related groups and that proceeds were designated for various AIDS research groups.

A city ordinance prohibits frontal nudity but exempts theater and other art performances from the ban as long as they have "serious artistic merit" and does not "provide sexual gratification".

The suit seeks damages caused by shutting down the performances.

Not a surprise, the police were tipped off when local evangelist Drew Heiss filed an open records request for a copy of the center's licenses tgo serve alcohol, show nude photos and have nude dancers.

Besides the Atlanta shut down, in January, a federal court ordered the city of San Juan, PR to pay local producers of Naked Boys Singing $1.3 million in compensation for closing the campy musical a day before it was to open at the state government owned theater. That's about $130,000 for each butt dimple.

Why gay men can't put on a musical production that both sounds and looks good is beyond me.
Having it continued to be shut down just raises publicity for the musical. Sure, who wouldn't want to see a chorus of hot guys singing naked. The homophobics may have won this battle, but the war is not over, not for a long shot. Keep singing naked, boys and make us proud. Hell, even if you turn the other cheek, there's plenty more to show off. WOOOF. And let the homophobes cry in their beer.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Metrosexual: An Image/Lifestyle Created By Advertising Agencies To Promote More Expensive Product Lines to Men

Our bible on the subject, the September, 2005 issue of Details, says that the metrosexual revolution is pure exploitation.

It says that the so called metrosexual revolution created the illusion of enlightmnet about the fluidity of human sexuality, but it's mostly about stylish straight guys acting more macho than ever.

This metrosexual identity or gay vague, the writer, Simon Dumenco, goes on to say, amounts to a suble form of homophobia. This new homophobia creates language and subtext to pointedly redefine what's acceptable for straide dues while simultaneously keeping gay men safely on the other side. So straight guys who follow this principle are being led to be gayer in terms of their toys and fashion without turning queer. How divine!!!

Simon points out that this "revolution" began in the late eighties with Calvin Klein underwear's campaign putting up billboards of hot men in bulging tighty-whiteys to define sexuality. This continues today. A feature on the TV show, Sunday Morning, this past Sunday quoted the President and Founder of 2xist men's underwear to swear that sexuality is what sells his underwear. No kidding.

Gay guys have become icons of fashion style because they dare to try new things and have the disposible income to explore their fetish. But this style goes only so far. It has to be bankable to the masses of straight men without appearing too gay. So marketers created a new market, that expanded upon their language to attract women and gay men, to lure straight guys to start acting more feminine/gay to push product.

So these metrosexuals, who are mostly in love with themselves and no one else, seek to hold on to their "manhood" at the same time behaving both "girly" and macho in their desires. Sounds pretty mixed up to me. The author even goes as far to say that pop lyrics are being transformed to cater to the metrosexual young man who loves his manicure and pedicure, who wants to be "fed" by his woman, blah, blah. Gag me with a spoon.

If you are standing in line at a store or happen to be by a newstand, check this issue out. The photo on the opposite page is a treasure. It has these hot gay leathermen surrounding this guy in a suit and tie. I guess the metrosexual guy wants to relate, but in a butch way, without giving up the pleasures and pampering of life.

This hogwash leads me to believe that Madison Avenue advertisers will do just about anything to sell their client's products. So enjoy the metrosexual revolution while it lasts. We all know who the real men are. We don't have to pretend to be anything but ourselves. And that's cool in my book.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

EX-GAY or Whatever--The Scam Remains the Same

More and more is written about reparative therapy, the hoax treatment to convert gay men and lesbians to being straight. Ugh.

The Washington Post ran an interesting article in yesterday's paper, titled, "Vowing to Set the World Straight." The article first focused on the fallacy of this fraud. Nicholas Cavnar had thought that he wasn't gay anymore, after going through the therapy. Then 9/11 came, and he discovered as he knew all along that his oddysey from gay to ex-gay to ex-gay-gay was a waste of his gay life, that afterall, he was gay from the beginning. His greatest regret was the 26 year sham of a marriage whereby he inflicted pain on his straight wife and their three children.

The article next interviews a reparative therapist Richard Cohen, an ex-gay. He says that he overcame his homosexuality with the help of a heterosexual mentor who "gave me the warmth of my daddy's love". Give me a break. This guy is covering up his desires for male2male sex, disguising it as a need for daddy love. He likes being smothered by a daddy figure. How can he say that he has been "cured" of his homosexuality. A big hoax. This guy is now a therapist, oh my God.

Cohen, however, is not a "real" therapist and in 2002, he was permanently expelled from the American Counseling Association (ACA) for multiple ethical violations. According to the article, Cohen was found to have violated six sections of the ACA's ehics code, which bars member from actions that "seek to meet their personal needs at the expense of clients,", those that exploit "the trust and dependency of clients", and for soliciting testimonials or promoting products in a deceptive manner.

He blames his gayness on being molested as a child. Surely, that is a tramatic experience. Countless gay men have faced that. His parents even accepted his homosexuality. But still, Cohen had to drift and drift several times, pretending to be straight but having male boyfriend flings in New York. But now, he says he is "ex-gay".

Like Anne Heche is the only true bi-sexual in the world or the greatest actress alive, (check her stint on Everwood, the WB series), Cohen may well be an "ex-gay", but I really doubt it. He is going to stray again, and again inflict pain on his wife and his children. The shame of all of this is that he isn't man enough to admit he is gay. That reality we have all faced. We faced it, accepted it, and now live our lives accordingly and openly. Anything less is a life sentence of self betrayal, self pity and self persecution.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Widespread Ignorance Prevails After HIV Testing

A new study published in last week's Journal of the American Medical Association concludes that nearly half of Gay Men who have HIV aren't aware of their status.

A recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) study on HIV prevalence among men who have sex with men concluded that 48 percent of gay and bisexual men had tested positive for HIV but did not know it.

The system is broken, concluded Michael Weinstein, President of AIDS Healthcare Foundation.
"We need to normalize HIV testing and incorporate testing as a routine part of healthcare screenings. Testing and outreach also needs to become more easily accessible to the public, particularly to those in high risk groups such as men who have sex with men (MSM)."

This sampling of HIV test gay men occurred in Baltimore, LA, Miami, New York City and San Francisco from June 2004 through April 2005. Of the 2,261 gay and bi men sampled who were tested, 1767 had one or more male sexual partners. Of these 1,767, 35 percent were white, 27 percent, hispanic, 25 percent, black, 7 percent multirfacial and 6 percent Asian/Pacific Islander.
Participants were recruited from bars, 30 percent, streat locations, 20 percent, dance clubs, 19 percent, gay stores, 10 percent, gay pride events, 6 percent, social organizations, 5 percents, gyms 5 percents, sex establishments, 3 pecents and parks 1 percent.

Of the 450 HIV infected MSM, 48 percent were unaware of their HIV infections. The authors of the stuy concluded that to decrease HIV transmission, MSM should be encouraged to receive an HIV test at least annually and prevention programs should improve the ways of reaching gay men unaware of their HIV status.

On the prevention end, no news here. The safer sex outreach needs to be expanded and include the realization that gay men need to be educated and reminded about HIV transmission and safer ways to have MSM. No getting around it. Knowing HIV status is important, but prevention is the key to lowering the 40,000 new cases of HIV developing each year.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Dougall Fraser Makes It All So Easy For All of US To Live Our Lives

I just got done reading the Dougall Fraser autobiography, "But You Knew That Already".
While he didn't grow up in such an insane environment as Augusten Burroughs, he did have more than the average childhood.

His dad was very supportive. His mother fizzled out of him early because of the divorce. His sister was always more than supportive and Dougall has been mystified by psychics for a very long time, though he is only in his early to mid twenties.

Dougall used the psychic world to deal with and understand being gay. It brought him the majority and helped him to use his gift to help others before eventually helping himself become a happy gay man.

Dougall calls himself a life coach. And I wouldn't argue with him. He became a full fledged psychic after leaving home in New Jersey and heading for Dallas, because he was hoping to be a
certified massage therapist. That didn't quite pan out, but his psychic powers did. Soon he was on local Dallas radio and was giving readings to powerful and monied members of Dallas society. Abut soon this wore him down and he decided to return to his home and try to make it in the Big Apple.

He struggled at first, living at his dad's house, but soon things came together. He arrived when he was featured on the John Walsh talk show. Now he is in the big leagues, partnered with his Jewish boyfriend, and on top of the world.

He gives a lot of advice, which I'd like to share with you. "When you are living the laws of attraction, what you want comes to you much more easily." He believes that" the main reason people come for a psychic reading is that they're in pain." His goal is not to give reading after reading, making people dependent on him or his guidance. His goal is to show the person that he/she has the answers. What makes a psychic reading so intense, is that he shows people that he can pick up these things of their lives, the painful issues, without them ever saying a word.

He feels that he can also teach them to see energy that's all around them. He feels that he can only kick start someone's life. It's what you do after the reading, not what is said during one, that is where your true destiny lies.

With that food for thought, just try sitting back, relax, and if you got a problem, explore other ways and not crutches like food, drugs and alcohol to approach it in a way that's best for you. We're here to help. That's what big hairy muscle hugs are for. They work a lot of magic, but only if you believe.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Nipples, Nipples Everywhere.

By now you have been familiarized or have heard of the new book circulating the airwaves,
"Why Do Men Have Nipples?".

I fuckin know the answer. Because they get turned on my male nipples. Well, I say that from experience.

Really, according to Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg, while only females have mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo. The embryo folls a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in. Thank God for that.

Nipples for me definitely have a function. They are to be proudly displayed whenever possible.
So when Details, in its August issue on newstands now, posed the question, "Should a Man Show Nipple?", I cried out, fuckin yes.

The article says that guys are just showing off their bodies more. A female quoted in the article states, "But I suppose if a guy has on a nice tight lycra blend T shirt with visible nips, I might have a hrd time not saring. As far as it being a turn on, that totally depends on the guy. She goes on to say, Guys wearing shirts tight enough to display their nips, wouldn't be the type of guys who wouldn't notice ours." So true lady, so very true.

So I say, proudly display your nips whenever you can. Never ignore or neglect them. Give them all the attention they deserve. And they will always stand at attention at a moments notice. Now that's what I call sexy.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Boys in the Buff On Stage. The Bard Would Have Approved

Male nudity on stage has had a well received reception for more than ten years.

Men getting naked during an onstage performance helps the play connect with its audience.

The lastest work to be presented with men in the buff is "Terrorism", an Off Broadway play by tghe Presnyakov Brothers, much of the male cast appearing nude.

The undressing room definitely has its supporters in the theater these days. In the last fifteen years, there have been 25 play with full frontal nudity with men's role being the overwhelming majority, 40 to 10 female roles. So what is this obsession about the male nude body performing on stage?

Some feel that the gay revolution of the 90's and so many gay authors and performers acceleratored the scope and variety of the productions. Theaters began to produce plays that took a full-frontal view of sexuality. Terrence McNally's 1994 play, "Love!,Valour!,Compassion!
exposed the lives and relationships of six gay men and contained a memorable scene in which the cast went skinny dipping.

Jame Nicola is quoted as saying, "I think you could say that gay people coming out of the closet has paralleled the arrival of the penis onstage."

Jason Butler Harner, a hot actor, has appeared nude onstage five times, including his most recent effort in Jon Robin Baitz's "Paris Letter". It fills the seats, says Harner.

Nicola says, "I think an artist who chooses to use male nudity is tring to communicate something." "And I think a penis is more theatrical."

But for some audiences, the elderly and students, male nudity is the kiss of death. So it has to be used for a target audience, one who understands and appreciates the message as presented onstage.

I recently saw the excellent play, "Take Me Out", based on a story about a ballplayer who announces after he signed a multi-year multi million dollar contract that he is gay. Baseball and the locker room and the showers. Images that go together, where ballplayers congregate most of the time off the field in the clubhouse.

"Take Me Out" has a 10 minute all-male shower scene where the players talk about their play on the field and other things. Is is necessary to tell the story? Hell yea. Why you ask? Because the play is about coming out, being excepted by your teammates, and in the nude, the players bare not only their bodies but their souls.

A very graphic scene later on involves the gay baseball star and the player who is homophobic.
The gay player confronts the homophobe who is showering. The gay player both shows his masculinity and puts the homophobe in his place as he tackles the guy in the showers, knocks him to the floor and holds him down, showing him that he isn't going to take any more shit from him. Being the top guy, the gay player portrays his dominance over the homophobe. This positioning is key to showing that the gay player is equal to his teammates.

Without the nudity, "Take Me Out" wouldn't have the same impact. So if you enjoy gay theater and male nudity, check out "Take Me Out" and the other gay male musical revues touring the country. Prime beef never looked or acted so good.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Hillsborugh County "Pride in Exile "Days cumming to Key West

Key West community Leasders will host a Pride in Exile celebration this cumming weekend to mark their disapproval of the Hissborough County Commissions ban on acknowledging, promoting or participating in gay pride recognition or events.

Because Key West never needs an excuse for celebrating anything, Key West is hold festiviities with include a "Dragged from Tampa" drag show. a march and parade down DuVal street and a gender bending re-enactment of June's Hillsborough commission's meeting in whch the ban was approved.

Several chartered buses will be descending upon Key West from the Tampa Bay area.

Pride in Exile falls more than a month after Key West's own gay pride celebration and organizers say that this event is part protest, part economic boost, since the area has slower summer business this time of year because of hurricane season and the heat factor.

Key West's moto is "One Human Family". So they didn't hesitate a second about hosting this weekend's event.

Greg Needham, an organizer and owner of the local newspaper said, "We wanted people to come down and experience pride in a community where residents and officals fully support it."

The spoof will have a drag queen play Hillsborough Commissioner Ronda Storms, who proposed the gay pride ban. Organizers noted that Storms has a perfect name ofr a drag queen, and they said her character will end up in a swimming pool before the end of the production, an ode to the Alexis Carrington and Kyrstle Carrington drag outs from Dynasty. Should be a laugh riot as well as sending a message to Hillsborough County that such hatred of gay men and lesbians is an embarrassment to them. An Anita Bryant clone we don't need now. And look what happened to her once some angry drag queens got through with her.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Augusten X. Burroughs' Family Gets Snippy Over Their Film Portrayal

Augusten Burroughs is the kind of interesting guy you'd like to meet in a gay bar. He is funny, period, and cute.

Augusten wrote a hilarious book several years ago, titled, "Running With Scissors." That great book has now been made into a movie and all of a sudden, his "family" is up in arms and is suing Burroughs, who is gay.

Their lawsuit, filed in Massachusetts claims that Burroughs "mercilessly and repeatedly" defamed family members "so as to sensationalize his past to make the book marketable while knowingly causing harm and humiliation" to the Turcotte family, with whom Burroughs lived after his disturbed mother turned guardianship of Augusten over to her pyschiatrist, Dr. Turcotte.

The book came out in 2002. Where have these people been all these years.

The book's publisher, St. Martin's Press, at the insistance of their legal advisors, renamed the characters. Dr. Turcotte became Dr. Finch, who looks like Santa Clause and acts more like Alfred Kinsey. His household is in shambles, a Christmas tree stays up until summer, an electrochock therapy machine is displayed under the stairs, and a pedophile lives in a shed in the back yard who molests the young Augusten. When Augusten doesn't feel like going to school, Dr. Finch helps him fake a suicide. Lots of valium keeps this circus going in all three rings.

The moive version, to be released next year by Sony TriStar, stars Gwyneth Paltrow as Augusten's mother, Annette Bening and ALec Baldwin and Dr. and Mrs. Finch and Vanessa Redgrave as the deranged aunt.

Howard Cooper, the Turcotte's attorney is quoted as saying, "With the forthcoming movie, the family is living in fear that there will be utter devastation to their reputations and the invasion of the privacy will be complete." Hey, they could turn all of this into a reality series. So why all the fuss and fuming?

The suit, in addition to seeking damages for libel, defamation, fraud, invasion of privacy and emotional distress, asks the court to order public retractin and a public statement taht the book is fictional, and requests that distinction be made in all future publishing runs, paperback versions of the book.

When reading fiction or an autobiographical work, there is some fiction in the non-fiction and fact in the fiction. The genres are blurred.

For the sake of interesting reading, I believe that Burroughs used the truth and expanded upon it, plain and simple. This family was a bunch of wild, wide eyed lunatics who lived in squalor or great clutter, however you see it, and probably did commit criminal acts, innocently or ignorant of the law and let other unlawful conduct get by under their noses.

If you haven't read the book, do so. If not, do wait to see the flick. It should be a gem.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Giddy Up: The Gay Rodeo Circuit Hits the Big Time

It's summer and the smells of the rodeo lay heavy over the outdoor arena. It's gay rodeo time again and the living is easy.

I love the gay rodeo. It has something for just about everyone. The events, the cowboys, the excitment of competition, the cowboys. Oh well, you can't say I have a one track mind.

Details Magazine has made the gay rodeo cool to guys who read the publication. In the August 2005 issue, Sonny Koerner, Mr. Atlantic States Gay Rodeo Association 200 proundly sits on his horse bare butt and loving it. This guy is what makes the International Gay Rodeo Association what it is today, the third largest rodeo association in the world with 20 scheduled events annually. One of the biggest is Cowtown Rodeo in Dallas Fort Worth. While I haven't been to the Cowtown Rodeo, I've been to several others, and I always left the weekend with a smile on my face.

The gay rodeo community, like other communities, can be clickish, but it gets down to business to host these annual events. The turnouts are large and while PETA loves to picket, these rodeos are very animal friendly. It's more about raw skill and determination in events such as the barrel run, pole bending and flag race, and the crowds really get into the action.

I loved one quote in the article about how to wear your Wranglers or Levi's 517's which almost all rodeo guys subscribe to: "They should be tight enough to show what religion you are." Now that's some kind of form fitting jeans.

Some find the drag events entertaining. I usually tolerate them, because they give the cowboys a rest from the main competitions. The drag queens compete annually for the title of Miss IGRA. These events combine camp and athletic prowlness and show gay strength in a Stonewall kind of way. These guys take the competition seriously and the winnings go to worthy gay causes.

Sonny Koerner, one of the champions on the circuit, was a kid growing up loving horses and the rodeo. He was skeptical at first, but later realized, while attending a gay rodeo one weekend, that this is the real thing and embraced it.

One of the fun and frustrating events is the goat dressing competition. Putting on a pair on underpants or udderpants, (oh brother, I couldn't resist) on a goat is harder than it looks. Cowboys like to mix up their competions and compete in both the stock events such as steer riding, bull riding and chute dogging and the goat dressing competitions.

Sonny has won many a buckle. While not on the circuit, Sonny is employed as a counterterriorism expert in Washington, DC.

The article concludes with a funny confrontation between Sonny and one of the patrons of a local DFW gay C&W bar. The dude tries to grab Sonny's ass. Sonny responds, "Do you realize that you can't (grab my ass) this time?" The troll responds, "What do I have to do to get a belt buckle?" Sonny replies, " I typically don't give my buckles away. I earn them and they mean something to me". The troll pouts and stamps out of the bar area. Sonny concludes, "Now of course, the real story is that those goat dressing buckles and stuff, I might have given a few of them away." Yea, Sonny, I know a few hot guys that would love strutting one of your buckles.

So if you got a little spare time the rest of the summer, check out the gay rodeo circuit. For more info, click on, http://www.igra.com

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Gay Marriage Featured at New York Fringe Festival

Howdy guys. Been playing the role of handyman at my Mom's house. Sorry to be away from the computer for so long. But like everything else, it's easy to pick up where you left off. Missed you guys.

Read in the NY Blade that the GayCo productions of Chicago is going to present, Weddings of Mass Destruction, a satire with songs and sketches about same-sex marriage in America, to be held August 12-28,2005 at the Lucille Lortell Theatre on Christopher Street in lower Manhattan.

This how is sescribed as a "satirical atack on the state of our union: political, poignant, and heartbreakingly hilarious, (someone must have paid off the reviewer)". It goes for the jugular, as the Queer Eye guys transform into pink-faced minstrels, Alyssa Milano hets her lesbian toruch song hommage, stuff like that.

It is billed as the revue that boasts comedy scenes and satirical songs that explore America as a land where everyone, struggles equally to connect or get laid. Sounds like my kind of revue.

In the meantime, have a great day and big hairy muscle hugs. Glad to be back.