Friday, March 30, 2007

Straight Men Playing Their Gay Card for Financial Benefit

This just in from Out Magazine. It seems that various straight men love flirting with us. Yes, they seem to want to get into our wallets, and if it means getting into our pants, then they are up to the challenge.
One of the members of the rock bank, Grizzly Bear, loves to hit on gay men. When he's in a homocentric situation, ( a nifty catch phrase I haven't come across before), he feels that he needs to fit in more, so he lays it on. For him, flirting opens up the gate.
Party promoters, journalists, those weird European men, it seems that they appear to be putting on a convincing front. So these guys spill their guts to the author, Will Doig, and most of those guys interviewed for the article admit to being horny. And they like the attention. They feel, if they are so hot, then they can be attractive in either world.
So, guys, are these sluts bisexual, closet gay men, or just guys who like to have guys hit on them, for sport and financial gain? I think these guys are hiding something. Being blunt, they appear to be messed up fucks. I wouldn't waste a hairy muscle hug on any of them.

Friday, March 23, 2007

What Guys Are Truly Missing When They Only Cruise the "Cover"

The following is exerpted from an article appearing at

Tim Bergling is the Margaret Mead of the tribal rituals, customs, and psycho-sexual behavior of gay men. The author of Sissyphobia: Gay men and Effeminate Behavior, Reeling in the Years: Gay Men’s Perspectives on Age and Ageism, and his latest, Chasing Adonis, looks at the cult and illusion of male beauty. Through interviews and polling, Bergling collates and dissects the raw data on the gay male pecking order.

Bergling’s research is more anecdotal than scientific, but there is something to be said for keeping it real with unorthodox field work. Scrap anthropological methodology; Adonis is part John Rechy and part Sex and the City. This volume is a survival guide for the sex romps of Fire Island, the local parks and truckstops, and the bathhouses, mostly past, from the meat racks to the cloths racks, the gyms, the bars, the Halls of Congress, and all points inbetween.

Of course, much of this reflects what is on the GLBT codes-and-conduct, hard-wired gaydar, with individual tweaks, that Bergling seeks to speciously, validate, if not prove. The real fun is Bergling’s collection of tales of elusive encounters with beautiful men - the mythic gardener, the swim god, the ripe go-go boy at Tracks, a now closed DC gay disco, and all those elusive Adonises that have blipped across various beaten-down paths. Bergling has practical advice about gay mating dances - from hook-ups to dating etiquette - and any attendant head games. Passages on how to be rejected with dignity, or reject someone delicately, for instance, can serve as a ’how to’ manual to avoid seduction missteps.

The chapter on body types wittily reads like old Charles Atlas testimonials of weight lifting, but completely uninhibited from a homo point of view. Thankfully, it isn’t cutesy, a la Queer Eye. But, like Narcissus, obsession with the body becomes as shallow in the mind as the broken image in the water. Berling even relates a personal story about a ’hands on’ assignment for Instinct Magazine about masterbating in cyberspace.

And so, through the author, you learn in reading this book, "Who's a dude or dud?" Didn’t Cosmopolitan conduct the same survey in the 70s (or was that After Dark?) (God, this guy really did his research) He even devotes an entire chapter, titled, "Survey Says," with results on pie-charts from a cross section of gay men on what they find as hot or not.

Case in point: a chart divided into slices marked with legends like, I do not exercise; I exercise, but don’t belong to any gym; I go to a gym to work out; I go to the gym to check out other guys; I go to the gym to work out, and to check out other guys. Some charts track trends as relevant as the percentage of men who were fat once and then lost weight (and visa versa). We all have our types, such as "I like guys with fuzzy bodies, lots of body hair," and as crucial as the percentage of men who say, "I like guys with a lot of muscle. Deep...dense... tissue, here.

At its best, Adonis’ stories about what drives gay male libido makes it an erotic journey about queer male sexual energy. Not to mock the sincerity of the shallowness of gay male obsession with the body, which, as Bergling proves, can be mind-numbingly profound. Bergling write in a witty manner that he allows the reader to expose himself to why, for the most part, gay men are so shallow.

It is really a shame that gay guys look only at the surface. Oh what they are missing. I too sometimes get carried away by the flesh. (Hell, I post those hottie pix above to get your attention). But being superficial isn't going to get you the man of your dreams. Yea, its nice to see a hot guy shirtless, and beefy. But can he be passionate, hot in the sack, and make a mean french toast in the morning? Guys who waste away their lives looking for Adonis will be left with an empty life. There is something hot about any guy. You just have to invest time to explore those hidden gems.

Friday, March 16, 2007

There Goes The Gayborhood

Community activists worry that "gayborhoods" are losing their relevance as gays win legal rights and greater social acceptance.

"Thirty years ago, if I lived in the Midwest and I was gay, my thought was I would go to San Francisco or New York," says Gary Gates, a demographer for the Williams Institute, a think tank at UCLA that specializes in sexual orientation and the law. "Now, a person can go to Kansas City and find a fairly active and open gay community."

In fact, from 2000 to 2005, the 10 states with the biggest increases in the percentage of gay couples were all in the Midwest, Gates said. Sandy Sachs, a nightclub owner in gay-friendly West Hollywood, has started promoting special dance nights for straight Iranians, Israelis and Russians because her gay clientele has fallen off. Sachs said that many gay men and lesbians now prefer to meet potential partners on the Internet.

Another factor contributing to the decline of gay neighborhoods: Many young gays feel comfortable mixing with people of different genders and sexual orientations. "We don't want to ostracize ourselves," said Matty, 20, who moved to San Francisco's diverse Mission District from nearby Petaluma three years ago. Activists agree it is a good thing that gay people no longer feel confined to the Castro, but some fear younger generations will overlook their history. "We have Chinatown and Japantown and so forth, and that's important for minority communities in this country, to have a place where they can get a sense of being the majority," said Joe Curtin, an architect who serves as president of Castro Area Planning Action. "But if you took those away, you would still have China and Japan. If the Castro goes away as a gay neighborhood, there is nowhere else. "

With ever rising real estate prices, maybe it is time for gay men to find other "gayborhoods" away from the main urban core. Older suburbs have many of the same features of larger downtown clusters. Maybe opening a bar in a community where there is cheap housing and access to jobs in the urban area, may be the new gay frontier. This exodus may already be happening. With a conservative figure of around 300,000 unmarried cohabitating male households and growing, this may well be the trend. Just think of the all male eye-candy landscaping the front lawns of suburbia as hunky guys tend to mowing and working in their yards. WOOF.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Gay Men and the Corporate Ladder. Do We Make Better Bosses?

According to this month's Details Magazine, a study has revealed that gay men do make better bosses and supervisors.
Why Gay Men Make the Best Bosses
America's most desirable managers all have one thing in common: homosexuality. —By Danielle Sacks—

Only three months into his senior manager gig at a Fortune 500 company, Matthew Klein was in way over his head. "I finally walked into my boss's office, threw my hands in the air, and said, 'I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and inadequate,'" he explains. "I basically had a breakdown." Many managers would have reacted to such a display by telling him to get back out there and grow a pair. But Klein's boss had the opposite reaction: First he reassured Klein he was doing a great job, then he helped him prioritize his workload so that it became manageable. "It's not like he's this fuzzy guy who would reach across the table and hug you in a meeting—he's tough as nails," says Klein of Robert Ollander-Krane, who is director of learning and development for the company. "But he allowed me to be completely honest about my circumstances. Now we have this huge foundation of trust."

Wouldn't that be nice—a boss who actually gave a damn. And while it's not conclusive, evidence suggests that one of the reasons Ollander-Krane is so effective is that he's part of a new breed—gay managers—who could be becoming America's most desirable bosses.

In The G Quotient: Why Gay Executives Are Excelling as Leaders . . . and What Every Manager Needs to Know, author and USC business-school professor Kirk Snyder argues that gay bosses embody a style of personalized attention that allows high-maintenance Gen Xers and Yers to maximize their performance. "Gay executives tend to look at how each individual brings unique abilities, and they see their job as figuring out how best to take advantage of those skills," he says.

In fact, during Snyder's five-year study of American executives, he stumbled on some startling findings: Gay male bosses produce 35 to 60 percent higher levels of employee engagement, satisfaction, and morale than straight bosses. This is no small achievement: According to human-resources consulting firm Towers Perrin, only a measly 14 percent of the global corporate workforce are fully engaged by their jobs. And the Saratoga Institute, a group that measures the effectiveness of HR departments, found that in a study of 20,000 workers who had quit their jobs, the primary motivator for jumping ship was their supervisors' behavior.
So what makes gay bosses different? It may have to do with the way they survived high school. "Gay people are constantly having to dodge and weave and assess how and where they're going as they grow up," says Snyder. "And that manifests itself as three huge skills: adaptability, intuitive communications, and creative problem-solving." In other words, your boss is cool with your leaving a little early one day a week to pick up your kid from school, or happy to offer a learning experience that helps you close a crucial deal.

Gay executives note that the reflection and candidness required for coming out mean that by the time they get to the workplace, gay men are often secure in their identity and don't feel the need to abuse people in order to boost their ego. "It makes you really honest with yourself and everyone around you," says Chris McCarthy, a vice president at MTV Networks who came out 10 years ago. He believes the experience has allowed him to tap into the individual needs of his seven team members, including two discontented employees whom he recently helped find new positions within the company. "I think it's really important that you give people the opportunity to have self-respect, even if that means helping them leave a job in the way they want to," he explains.

And this kind of empathetic management style is both gay and straight benefiting employees. When Brian Wachur, 23, wasn't getting the promotion he'd been waiting for at his D.C. PR firm, he approached his gay manager, Jason Smith. "I was nervous about what he was going to say, but he was able to tell me where I could improve in a really constructive way," he says. "It was a big contrast to other managers I had had in the past." Wachur soon got the new title, and he now considers Smith his professional mentor. "It's definitely surprising to me that I have a 38-year-old gay male in my life who is such a huge influence."

Matthew Klein says that working for a gay boss has taught him that emotionally honest doesn't equate to weak in the workplace. "Your typical hetero male is programmed as a boy that there are two emotions: angry and tired," he says. "These are gross limitations that restrict our ability to be great managers."

But being gay doesn't give you a monopoly on management skills. "The only managers that succeed are ones that have energy and are outgoing and interested," says Richard Laermer, the gay CEO of a New York-based PR firm and co-author of Punk Marketing: Get Off Your Ass and Join the Revolution. "If that's a gay thing, then mazel tov, but I know the same number of straight managers who are emotional and caring." And one gay vice president at a financial firm says his leadership traits come from his life history, not from anything related to his sexual orientation. "I was in the military, in a fraternity, and played a varsity sport," he says. "I feel like I spend my life explaining that what I'm saying or doing has nothing to do with the fact that I'm gay."

That said, if your new boss happens to be gay, chances are you'll be happier and more fulfilled in your job. And even if you're not, the consolation is that there's still one area in which he's likely to excel. Says Smith, "We throw the fiercest holiday parties."
I've been a manager, as well as have had managers. I feel that I am a good listener and a good judge of character. I think gay men do have certain characteristics that make them better bosses. But there are always the exception. In-the-closet types can be the bosses from hell. I had one of them, and he was a real prick. Also I hear that multi-billionaire businessman David Geffen can be a hard person to work for. But the head of Rolling Stone, Jann Wenner, is a great guy to work for, and a nurturing publisher.

Something related, one of the earliest gay character actors on TV has died. John Inman, who played Mr. Humphries on the classic Brit TV sitcom, "Are You Being Served?" died yesterday.
More from the
Trailblazing gay actor John Inman dies

Actor John Inman, popular for his memorably camp role as Mr. Humphries in the '70s sitcom Are You Being Served?, died Thursday in London. He was 71.

Inman died in St Mary's Hospital in Paddington after suffering a hepatitis A infection.

His character's catchphrase, "I'm free," and suggestive sexual humor made Inman a star, and he starred in more than 40 pantos—traditional Yuletide family entertainments that include double entendres and male and female drag as well as lots of jokes for the kiddies.

Named BBC personality of the year and "Funniest Man on Television" by TV Times in 1976, Inman remained popular long after the show ended in 1985. He went on to star in an Australian version of the show in the early 1980s and also appeared on BBC's 2004 series Revolver.

Are You Being Served?, about a stuffy department store staffed by lovable eccentrics, reached the United States in the late 1980s, where it became a cult hit.

When publicly questioned about his sexuality, Inman remained coy for many years, but admitted that he could be bisexual.

However, in late 2005, Inman made his sexual orientation public when he entered into a civil partnership with his partner of 33 years, Ron Lynch. Lynch is said to be "devastated" by Inman's death.

Although Mr. Humphries was widely criticized as a gay stereotype, actress Rula Lenska, who worked with Inman, defended the gay undertones of the character.

"It was suggestive, but never in-your-face or aggressive. It had an innocent quality that you rarely find today," she told the BBC.

Inman "was a joy to work with, and even after an exhausting day in pantomime he would have time for the fans who crowded round the stage door," Lenska said. MY NOTE: GOSH, RULA LENSKA is still around?

Wendy Richard, who played shop assistant Miss Brahms in the series, told BBC Radio 4's Today program: "John was one of the wittiest and most inventive actors I've ever worked with. He was a brilliant, brilliant pantomime dame, and he was a very good all-round actor, really. He was a true professional."

Inman's manager, Phil Dale, said, "John was known and loved throughout the world. He was one of the best and finest pantomime dames working to capacity audiences throughout Britain. John was known for his comedy plays and farces, which were enjoyed from London's West End throughout the country and as far as Australia, Canada, and the USA."

George Broadhead, secretary of the Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association, told that at the time of the show, "Inman became a bit of a bĂȘte noire for the gay community for promoting stereotypes of gay men as effeminate."

However, he said, "The gay community has grown up since then and has come to appreciate its trailblazers. Inman fits into the same mold as Larry Grayson and Frankie Howard. We can actually see reruns of Are You Being Served? and appreciate their zaniness now rather than cringing at stereotypes." (Hassan Mirza,
I always enjoyed his character for comic relief, especially his interaction on the set in scenes with the character Mrs. Slocum and his eye movements when she mentioned her "pussy". I made sure I never acted like him. He will be missed.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Yet Another Gay Male Porn Star Tragedy

It saddens me to report that Brett Mycles, aka Rob Sager, died over the weekend of congestive heart failure. He was 29 years old.
Brett was a star of several porn flicks as well as a fitness model. He reportedly was gay-for-pay, an escort as well as bisexual. He had married his childhood sweetheart several years ago, but it was not known if she knew of his porn life, or was with him at his time of death.
There has been speculation that his premature death may have been caused by steroid use. I don't know if an autopsy was performed to confirm cause of death.
Brett had a large legion of gay fans who literally worshipped his body. They were devoted fans and very obsessed with him.
I know this will not be the last death of someone who was part of the gay porn industry. I also realize that steroid and drug use in the industry will continue, and for young guys in the porn industry, it will be anything but a wakeup call to change their lifestyles.

I don't know if Brett knew any other life than in front of the camera. He will never get to explore and experience maturity. He will never see life fulfilled in some way.
I don't believe that his fans and their expectations have such control over an individual that all that he lives for is their admiration. If that is the case, then we live in a very superficial world.
I feel that while it is great appreciating hot gay men, it is even more important that we value each other from both an inner and outer perspective. Indeed, genuine beauty and sexyness is much, much more that what lies on the surface. What makes a man truly hot is his brains, his compassion, his values, his virtues, and as an added bonus, his brawn. These so called "idols" need to realize that life can be cut short, and if you want to live a full life, you can't cheat life by destroying your body, or forever being a party boy and expect to live a full and happy life.