Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Do You Remember Your 1st Date Jitters and What You Did to Control Them?

We've all gone through the dating scene, most of us still are.

No matter how expert you are in the dating scene, we all can recall our 1st date disasters and not so bad dates and how we prepared for them.

I came across an interesting post on that puts all of this in perspective.

The author, Jill Dellamarva, writes that we all have those 1st date jitters. Knowing what to wear, how to act, what to say, is all part of the dating ritual.

It always helps if the other guy knows 1st hand what you look like. Online dating is helpful in that regard. Since you both know what you look like, that obsticle is overcome.

You may also know or so you think you know, everything there is to know about this cutie pie prior to the 1st date. Don't be so sure of yourself. Guyz tend to hide some things. Hoping that your date has some pleasant surprises for you, instead of an alcohol or drug problem. Try finding a guy without a lot of baggage is fodder for another blog post.

She identifies 4 types of guyz, the mute, the self centered creep, the desparate fool and the nervous wreck. Might I add the control freak as well.

The mute just doesn't say much. I've had my share of those types of guyz. They just clam up, they play with their glass and they just don't communicate unless you are asking the questions.
This date usually ends in disaster. Sometimes, however, the strong, silent type has attributes that you find out later in bed. So be patient with this type of guy. In the end, he can be very rewarding.

The self centered creep never knows when to shut up. It's all about him, his job, his apartment, his career, yadda, yadda, yadda. These dates do end in disaster, unless you are just like him and the both of you talk each other to dry mouth, neither one of you really listening to the other.

The desparate fool is so hung up on scoring that this date can really be comical. Not a truly disaster date, but never boyfriend material. He's planning a cruise together with you half way through the salad. This is amusing, and you can never be too careful with this kind of guy. He's usually wearing a hairpiece and has bad breath.

The nervous wreck can potentially be boyfriend material, especially if you can calm him down and make him laugh. If you know or feel beforehand that you are confronting a nervous wreck, usually flowers pull him out of his nervousness, but can provoke it more if he feels inferior because he didn't bring you flowers as well. So tread lightly with this kind of guy.

The control freak is someone to avoid at all cost. You're in store for big trouble with this type, unless you are into submissive stuff, then he's your ideal man. I can sense this kind almost immediately because he wants to pick the place to meet, order your food for you from the menu, criticizes the beer or other beverage you choose. Not someone if you are independent minded, that you would want to spend the rest of your life with.

I am sure you can think of other circumstances or types of guyz you've encountered on your first dates. Feel free to share them.

Knowing how to end a good date or bad date is all in the timing. If I like the guy, a big hairy muscle hug is in order. That signals the second date. A bad date ends with a hand shake. Don't do anything to encourage him. Separate checks are another indicator that the date has gone really bad. If you liked him, you'd pick up the check for the both of you or he for you, then plan an after dinner drink or walk. It all depends on the chemistry.

But afterall, half the "fun" can be taking that next step. Avertinghe misery is quitting while you're ahead. The Gay God never promised any of us that hooking up would be easy. Take one step at a time and hopefully you'll find the man of your dreams. After all, you might have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince charming.

1 comment:

hbjock said...

Hmmm I know all about those 1st date jitters man =). Usually I meet the quite disinterested types, or the conceited types... then again, I tend to be a combination of the quiet yet interested type and the nervous wreck heheh. Cause I know I"m not all that physically so sometimes I get self-concious..

I'd have to agree though.. make me laugh and I start to open up, or flowers ALWAYS works as well ;).