Monday, December 06, 2004

Anatomy of a Bad Gift Giver and other Yule Tide Treats

You know who they are. You probably were stuck with them for a holiday party gift exchange.

They are the ones who are homemade gift givers or worse yet, re-gifters. Some examples include stupid puzzles, clown art (UGHHH), and the sausage sample pack. They can be more pitiful ones including a toilet bowl brush, a bag of stale candy canes, and a really ugly coffee mug.

Other than having them irradicated from society, I don't know how you can combat them. It is wise just to forget about exchanging gifts period. That way, you don't lead them on or do you feel guilty supporting their habit.

On another note, just returned from a Christmas Tree farm. Cut my first live tree. It was a very pleasant experience. This way you are guaranteed a really fresh tree. If you chose to play lumberman for an hour or two, remember to wear your butchest pair of boots. I like loggers myself. Also wearing warm plaid is ok doing this. And remember once you get the "live" tree home, remember to prepare a solution of 20 mule team borax, white vinegar, liquid bleach, Karo clear syrup, hot water and a can of lemon lime soda for starters. Mix the solution and then add a little liquid Woolite. Remember to make a fresh cut before placing the tree in a large bucket. The tree should still be outdoors on a deck or patio. It will drink this solution and have plenty of liquid before you place the tree indoors in its stand. The tree should remain outdoors in this solution for a minimum of 5 days. That will be ample time for the tree to absorb the sugar and other ingredients. And remember once indoors, to water the tree and add lemon lime soda during the time it is decorated.

Daddy Santa loves a live tree when he cums to bring his special treats to good gay boys, muscle bears and muscle cubs. So be ready to give him a warm greeting and I'm sure he will be greatful for your milk and cookies and reward you in the way only Daddy Santa does best. {GRIN}

1 comment:

Cement Brunette said...

Personally I love some of those crappy gifts-- especially all that sausage. I'm a sausage whore. And I love when people try to insult you by wrapping a carton of cigarettes. Umm, thank you-- you just saved me like forty bucks.