Friday, February 16, 2007

Men Together. Should It Always Be about Sex?


Our old pal Andy Sullivan, is writing again about gay men showering with their straight buds in the gym and elsewhere. He tells us that while he might have been turned on by other men, straight men, in the shower, he always controlled his woody. I was surprised that Andy didn't start describing all of his shower encounters where guys "worshipped" his woody.

So I was curious about the opinions of other guys on the subject. The following is from a healthboard post about men showering together.

Here's one guy's opinion.

What is the big deal here. I have been showering at the gym for years and before that in college and before that in high school. There was always someone that I knew either as a friend or just an aquaintance in there with me. I admit that in junior high when I started taking showers after gym class the gang showers were a little intimidating but after a while you realize that most of the other guys are nervous too and then you all get used to it. Yes some guys have bigger or smaller equipment or flatter stomachs and bigger muscles. But you know what.... There is always going to be someone who is bigger or smaller or who has a better body. Be a man and have some confidence in yourself. Everyone looks you can't help it but 99.9999% of the guys in the shower could care less about what they see. They are just there to get clean and get out. As far as showering with your buddies as was mentioned in the original post, I say so what. You are all buddies and it is not like you are squeezing into a tiny shower stall together. There was room for 2 so I say go for it and don't make a big deal about it. If you can not be comfortable around your buddies where can you be comfortable.I have been in situations where I have had to share a bed with a buddy when we got stuck after a day of skiing and had to spend the night. There is nothing sexual about it - a guy has got to shower and sleep don't he.

So the communal showering ritual is just that. When guys shower in public, the unspoken rule is no hard-ons and no come-ons. When you invite a guy to your house, then the shower is considered a private venue. This is when showering together, man to man, becomes a totally pleasurable experience. One of the hottest examples of foreplay I know. Anyone care to comment?

12 comments:

Joshua said...

I'm in a gym shower to scrub the sweat off my ass, period :)

john said...

I agree, it doesn't have to be sexual.

Lemuel said...

Absolutely agree. In all the years I showered after gym class - jr hi thru college - or in the communal shower of the dorm - I never sprang wood.

Anonymous said...

I have showered like many guys as well in Jr. High and High School in open showers and no one really cared what anyone else had. It was like a silent understanding that you did what you had to to get cleaned, toweled off and then got dressed. At the Gym as a grown up, plenty of guys walk around the shower and locker room naked, some guys have wood, most guy don't, and sometimes guys get wood while soaping up. I notice it, I don't comment on it, it natural...!!! There is nothing to be embarrassed about at all. I even sit in the sauna some times and chat with guys. and occasionally some one will get hard. We just continue chatting and go about our business. Nothing sexual at all.

Erik

Ed said...

I just found your blog. It is very interesting reading. I'll be back.

JB said...

I guess it's the difference between washing yourself in company, or washing each other...

Anonymous said...

In high school, there wasn't much consideration given to the whole showering with other guys thing. We didn't have a whole lot of time to worry about that. I didn't know I was gay in hs, so that never really became an issue.

In college I played Lacrosse and showered with the guys. They knew I was gay and it didn't seem to phase most of them. We still talked and carried on in the shower.

One of my trips to visit a chapter of my fraternity, I was showering and another brother came in and showered and started talking to me.

Overall, I think the whole "big thing" is what people make of it. I don't think straight guys really think about it in the first place unless someone makes a big deal about it.

TOS said...

Yes & Yes! If anything the group shower is completely UNSEXY! Maybe I'm still scarred from the past (and we didn't have shower gym in school but I was on the swim team & in Boy Scouts summer camp) when everyone str8, gay or otherwise was terried about baring all in public. It's still a little weird if you think about it - some things just don't need to be seen right? That being said, I just mind my own biz in the gym shower. I'm not trying to look (even though men are all curious about each other, sad we can't express it) but if I see something interesting in the course of thingsI burn it into my photographic memory, file it away and remember it later ;-) I can't help it, I find the male anatomy fascinating!

On the flip side I have always loved showering with a guy... It's very erotic, getting to gently wash your partner etc. Shower hugs are the best! Of course in this case anything that pops up is fair game!

Good topic!

Leonard said...

Hmm...I never really thought about it. The shower in a gym is not a place where I want to meet the man of my dreams...it's where I need to clean my self and get the hell home. ;-) peace

Albert said...

Unless the shower is in a bathhouse it is not sexy at all! I do not even like someone in the shower with me in my own home when I want to get clean. Unless the intent from the beginning is for sex then people stay away and let me do what I have to do!

Shaney said...

I have never had a group shower but I imagine it could feel a little intimidating if one was not comfortable with their own appearance. But it should not be a concern if the sole reason your there is too cleanse. Naturally we are all curious & take a discreet peek at a few peckers. But then for some (gay) men it seems quite a task to remain dscreet. But I have to agree that a shower with a man is freeeeekin HOT!...xoxo

Will said...

After the Sweat Lodge at the husband's place, we all hit the showers. There are two stall showers and a regulation tub with shower head on the wall. There are varying degrees of sexual activity both in and out of the showers, the stalls generally having two men in each in pleasantly extreme close quarters.

By definition, Sweat Lodge buddies are totally comfortable being naked with each other and engaging in a little grab-ass, having a guy start sucking them off, or playing with each-others' dicks. But part of our culture is that no man is ever made to feel he HAS TO engage in anything sexual in shower time if he doesn't want to. We've all known each other (pretty much in both senses of the word) for years--we're big boys who know the ropes (including totally safe play). We enjoy having newcomers and wouldn't dream of making them feel in any way uncomfortable. What usually happens is that the smart ones take a look around, realize what we've got going, and adapt to fit in and become part of the group ASAP.

One of the joys of life is that hot, bright gay men are an endlessly renewing resource.