In the latest issue of "Details" magazine, our bud, Aususten Burroughs, reflects on how he, in the past had always sought out flaws in his boyfriends and wanted to rectify these "flaws" even though he was deeply flawed both physically and emotionally himself. Call it the "bitter Queen syndrome".
I had an old boyfriend who had a similiar quark in his impressions of men. One day I had enough of his judging and said that I could always find one quality in a guy, no matter what. He wouldn't hear of it and continued to be his ultra-judgemental self. Needless to say, I dumped him like a poisonous rattlesnake, which, in hind sight, he was.
Augusten has a similiar character flaw, but he is man enough to expose himself to his adoring public in a humorous way. He starts out transforming himself, saying, "So I started overhauling my ass. And at the end of the day working on his fixer-upper house, when you've been hoisting around your own, internal two-by-fours and reuilding your joists, you really don't want to go fiddle with somebody else's (body) parts and pieces." Needless to say, none of the butts pictured above are his.
What he's trying to say that you got to accept flaws in another guy, because who are you to judge, being flawed yourself. He mentions his current love, Dennis, who has a tendency to speak in a LOUD VOICE. So he learns to live with that. And faced with a list of dislikes that Dennis readily developed, Augusten has learned to try to become more the person Dennis would like him to be. So the tables are turned.
In life you have to take the good with the bad, the bitter with the sweet. When you fall for a guy, you fall for the entire man, not just pieces. You learn to accept him as he is, so called, warts and all. You accept him and even learn to find them endearing.
All of us can become better versions of ourselves. It takes self examination and listening to others. Constructive criticism is beneficial. There is always a better way to do something. You'd be surprised what can transform.
All this said, just try to be the best you can be. I love you guys.