Old Andy this past week, just can't seem to get his rocks off enough. He has entered a very lively debate raging on over cable and blog world about gay male promiscuity. He contends that gay men are inherently more promiscuous than straight people.
He basis his theory on the fact they, like Bill Clinton (oh, it always has to be political with our buddy, Andy) gay men are full of testosterone, and, like Bill Clinton, they can get sex when they want it. Sounds like we can just turn on the charm and the spigot, and instantly, we are romping with any guy we want. I wish.
Andy goes on to dig his hole deeper, or should I say, plow his fellow gay men's hole deeper, by suggesting that "gay men get it [sex] because their emotional and sexual universe is all-male and so twice as testosterone-laden as the straight male sexual universe.
Because we have bathhouses, public sex, backrooms and such, we have the resources to get laid 24/7. I guess the piers of New York are teaming this weekend with guys fucking each others brains out. Just because Andy Sullivan says so.
So are we all as promiscous as Andy tends to believe we are? Love to have you guys post your comments. I'm going to now take a very cold shower. Anyone want to join me? Big hairy muscle hugs.
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16 comments:
I don't care what Andy Sullivan says, he's definitely not my pundit... he's just some guy who has sex with men.
This gay man wonders why (and yes I can be a conspiracy theorist but I digress) people are always moaning on about promiscuity and gay men.
Don't misunderstand me - unsafe safe is dangerous and destroys communities - but what still frosts me is that I really don't see how gay man are MORE promiscuous than straight men.
Before I came out I had to endure YEARS of listening to str8 guys brag about the scores of chicks they bedded in college (bareback 99% of the time I might add) and it was glorified, worshiped and respected. On several occasions this was on the eve of the guy's wedding.
Yet people still seem to focus on the sexual revolution that liberated gay men who suddenly could express their own sexuality and well do it to their heart's content.
If it is ok for the goose why they hell isn't it ok for the gander? (as long as it is safer sex)
And yes... who wouldn't want a tepid (not cold) shower with you... :-P
Did I mention how much I like that pic too?
And you're right - gay men do get a bum rap - and sometimes it isn't what they want ;-)
I do like that pic almost as much as I dislike Andy :)
Hey there! First and foremost, I wanted to say thanks for the comment left on my blog. You're quite the nice one.
It's a little strange really that what I said kinda sorta resembles what this blog is about...
I think that people, in general, are slutty. I don't think it really matter who it is, everybody likes sex. I pin the nasty part about gay men because, well, I'm gay. I haven't had any vagina yet and I probably won't. It's all I really know - so sometimes I tend to judge my fellow homos a bit harshly.
I wish I weren't so sexual, actually. It would be nice for me NOT to think of men in general for a while... and heh heh, men who AREN'T my significant other!
I think that we gay ment have the potential to be more promiscuious than straight men, but do we really pursue that potential? I don't think you can boil the gay male community down to one steriotype--something Sullivan loves to do. I know monogamous gay men, polyamorous gay men, celibate gay men, slutty gay men, prudish gay men, responsible and irresponsible gay men. So what does it mean to be "the most promiscuous" cultural category. Sure, we're testosterone-centered. Sure, we (at least I) think about hot, sweaty, hairy, kinky mansex--pretty much all the time. Do I act on it? Some times; not nearly as often as I'd like to. Do I act on it without regard for my good or the good of my partners? No.
Andrew Sullivan needs a reality check: he's not qualified to speak for the whole gay male community, and his perspective is more than a little skewed.
-- Tim, a perpetually horny cub in Baltimore.
I'm confused... where is this conversation happening? I can't find any mention of this stuff on his Daily Dish blog.
As for promiscuity - perhaps men who have sex with men are just more *successfully* promiscuous. Anyway, there's nothing inherently wrong with promiscuity.
Here's a question - why do straight men like starting wars?
I'm sure I've seen this discussed somewhere before, and it was something like gay men being more successful, like mingerspice said. They're not any more promiscuous, they're just with partners who are more willing.
There was definitely something about men wanting to spread their seed and whatnot, and when you get men-on-men type stuff it gets magnified, so there's a heavy emphasis on rough, delicious, sexual play. (I love that...men "playing" with each other...sigh)
You always have the best pics, Buff.
Okay, here's my take on the whole thing. Men are raised to sew their wild oats...sexual conquest is congratulated, urged...a sign of manhood. Having multiple sexual encounters as a man grows is considered totally normal. Women, on the other hand, are taught to hold their virtue, to not give it up. A woman that has had lots of sex is looked down upon...a sign of lost respect. So a man and a woman get together and the woman's all about holding back, controlling the relationship by the granting and denial of sex. Two men get together and NOBODY's holding back. Two women get together, and....(we won't even talk about that, but you get the idea). So straight guys would be doing it all the time if they didn't have to "woo" the chick. And if straight guys are jealous of anything about gay guys, it's that we can get it when we want it and nobody's saying "no", nobody's worried about respect. It's sex.
Wow! Andy is oh so fucked up. But that's beside the whole point really.
I don't think Gay men are any more or less sexually on the make than any other type of man.
The only difference between the Gay community and other communties is that we are identified as a community by our sexuality. That's it, no other thing is held in common really. The girls like girls and the guys like guys and that's what the big deal is.
So, is it really that surprising that the only way we are NOTICED is when we are on the make? Jeez, that's a hard concept for Andy to understand I guess.
In other unsurprising news, guys like sex and girls like relationships, discuss...
If you're (Andy) going to be a slut at least admit that it's because you can and you want to. Don't blame "nature" or claim that ALL gay men are just because you are. I don't claim that I'm emotionally stifled and sexually unavailable simply because ALL gay men are.
I came to another conclusion while re-reading this post... (you always spark good topics for discussion B)
I'm a very horny guy. I have a very high sex drive - maybe even higher than most guys. I always have been like this but I will concede/note this.
Once I came out - my sex drive SKYROCKETED. Perhaps fear, of being labelled, disease and just plain ole fear forced me into dating one of the 1st guys I met - for a year and a half. Following that I had my fair share of oat-sowing...
But now I'm with my Boo, the guy I want to be with, the guy who makes me smile, laugh, cry, think... and if I was horny before... well by Andrew Sullivan's terms...
I should be locked up by now! ;-) And I'm proud of that!
I don't think that sexual liberation = increased promiscuity... I do think it crams more sexual experience into a shorter timeframe (if you come out later in life)... I was 25 years a wholesome "virgin" then came out... now I guess I'm a promiscuous whore... oh well!)
Why does a dog lick it's balls? coz he can. Some dogs lick more than others.
My point is that its about accessibility. Gay men have more access to sex - if they want it, which is why they can, or can appear to be more promiscuous.
A note on testosterone/masculinity. Studies show that an equal amount of men and woman attempt suicide but men are more successful because they use things like guns instead of pills.
Gay men use things like other men (who are equally as horny) instead of woman. I'm not saying that woman aren't animals in the sack but a man would find my g spot much quicker then a woman.
I'm sure straight men think about and want sex just as much as gay men. Poor things.
I should add that I'm Mr Monogamy but appreciate that I can have random sex if I want it. I did it once for about a month and found that it wasn't for me, which was important and I'm thankful for the experience.
I agree with what's been stated several times already: we aren't more promiscuous than straight men, we are just more successful at "scoring".
These homophobic arguements Andy makes are so ill informed. Gays don't do ANYTHING that the straight community does not do WITH IMPUNITY!
I don't know that we have more sex than the straights, I've read no stastics from reputable sources. But if were true, it's most likely because we have more access to other guys who also want to knock boots. We're just better at it than the straight men. If women were as easy to lay as a horny gay man, the straight men would have us beat, hands down. There are so much more of them.
Straight men are just as horny as the rest of us, if a woman gave a hint that he could get lucky, he'd be on it. Could I get laid everyday? sure...why not...but do I? hell no! It's the guys who are out there getting laid everyday that is giving society the notion WE are all like that. It's sad. Anyone could have sex everyday if they wanted, male, female, old, young, fat, skinny...doesn't matter. I think it's a matter of self respect. Sex is great, but when you make it the main point of your life, you really need to look at what you are missing. ;-) peace
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