In my pursuit of the ultimate safer sexual experience, I am a firm believer in intimacy exercises.
On the surface, this might sound like a bunch of crap, but don't knock them if you haven't tried them.
Woody who writes a column for the Window Media gay paper chain, has a very interesting weekly column. Here is some exerpts from last week's column. It can be found at http://www.washblade.com. Click on Eclipse and scroll down to "Need Wood"
Anyway, Woody shares these exercises with his readers.
First step, always get naked. That is definitely my kind of instruction.
Then you and your partner, sex buddy, whatever, sit cross-legged, face to face with your partner, knees touching. Your hands are resting on his knees, palm up. He puts his hands on your hands, palms down.
Then you look into each other's eyes for a few minutes with the intention of studying them. Make mental notes but don't break the silence or the eye contact.
Now take a break and cover your eyes with your hands for about a minute. Then place your hands in the same position as b efore and stare into each other's eyes. But this time, don't study your parnter. Instead, let him look at you. Receive his gaze. Let yourself be look at, undressed if you will. With this exercise, you are evaporating barriers. You are closer to him. After this experience, hard and horny, you can strap on that condom and pound him into pleasureland.
Another one is called the star crossing. Lie down on a rug and spread your arms wide. Your legs should be spread about shoulder width apart. Your partner stands over your crotch, sits his butt down on the ground between your legs and mashes his cheeks agains your crotch.
He then lays back like you did and spreads his arms out next to your feet. He puts his hands on your feet and keeps them there. He spreads his legs over yours so that his feet are next to your hands. Hold his feet. From above you both have formed a star. Your genitals are facing his but not touching. Your sexually vulnerable but emotionally connected, symbolized by the toching of each other's feet. This exercise brings up different feelings depending on where your legs are over or under your lover. Now you are again in the position to put on that condom and plug his ass silly. WOOF.
For the heck of it, try it when you and your partner feel the need to try something different. It worked for me. I felt constrained and held back, with made the sex even more enjoyable. Afterall, a little variation never hurt the experience. Try it, you might just like it.