Fellow gay boy and all around great guy, Michael Musto, the celebrated columnist for the Village Voice, has something to say about the scarcity of guys who identify themselves as bottoms:
The weird news in gay land is that no one's a bottom anymore (except for a certain downtown Manhattan promoter with a flair for double penetration). Tragically enough, a whole generation of bottoms passed on some time ago, and then came a whole new generation that learned from day one that being a wide-end receiver is risky, so they've always been testy and squeamish about it. That's perfectly understandable, but as a result, virtually every gay on the market today is a versatile top—or "vers top," if you prefer—"though I'll bottom for the right guy," they always add with a noble flourish. So unless you happen to have pulled up in a golden coach and have 300 condoms rubber-banded to your crotch, no one's gonna bottom for you and sex will undoubtedly consist of twiddling thumbs and bumping pussies and being more frustrated than if you'd stayed home alone with your fleshlight (the male sex toy whose site generously invites you to "select an orifice"). Somebody take it up the ass, please!
I totally agree with what Michael writes. No one seems to want to be a bottom anymore. How many times have we come across that double talk phrase, "bottom for the right guy"? I think bottom boys must reassess their fear of being fucked safely. There has to be gay public education showing how the top guy can coaks the squimish bottom guy into be fucked, and really liking it. I say, give 'em some buddy bonding. Be it in a pup tent under two zipped together sleeping bags, or in a secluded hallway, we guys have the responsibility to reverse perceptions that guys can fuck each other, and do it pleasurably, without fear. While I rather see guys having some fears about being fucked, hell, you can be a fuck pig and do it safely. Think condoms, guys.
Mega hairy muscle hugs of fucking til the cows cum home.
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13 comments:
LMAO! "Bottom for the right guy"...you're right! That verbiage is everywhere. And what in the fuck does it mean? I'm laughing.....god, we're weird people.
Yo! Buff! Over here! [*he waves*] Yes, sir! right here, sir! *grin*
hehehe... and here in richmond, we have probs finding a good top... maybe it is regional....hehehhe
Very true, Buff. I am a "versatile top" but simply because I enjoy both sides of play. I prefer being a "bottom" better, but topping also a big thrill for me.
A good top is hard to find. It seems like everyone is a bottom; I was very surprised to read this article.
Scott
I tried to pretend for a guy on a chat line that I was a top but it did nothing for me. I thought he was a top but he wanted me to play the top role. I'm jus t not able to do it. I love the idea of being fucked way to much.
I don't get it, No really... I don't get it! Don't know if I want it, but I know I aint getting it! With that out of the way. If I were to indulge in casual sex I wouldn't bottom due to the increased risks. But with a partner I am more than happy to let him slip in for some hot & sensual ...whats the word....fucking...*blush*
I realise providing it's safe it should be fairly uninhibited, but how many guys ask a man's status when it comes to casual sex, the results are quite alarming. Comes back to education but I think someone mentioned that! *winks*
Back when I came out, everyone was a bottom. That made my life great! But, you're right it isn't that way, so much anymore. But I'm not a bottom out of fear of contracting a disease. I'm just not a bottom. Of course I'm versatile, to an extent. But it is hard to find a compatible guy these days. Simply because of what you stated in this entry.
DC is allegedly bottomland but it seems like every guy I dated was a total top at the get-go. I on the other hand am a vers-top.
Suffice it to say that I was always the bottom when I first started dating those guys. I wasn't complaining either - I waited almost 27 years to come out, no sex from 0 - 27, no complaints from me. I just love having sex (if you want to know why see the 2 sentences before this one)
I think that the bottom stigma comes more from that outdated, top = man, bottom = woman or bitch. People need to get over that. It's stupid. That is nothing but str8 homophobic backtalk. Let's face it, having your ass played with feels amazing (if you are open enough to relax and try it) so why limit oneself?
I look at versatility like Mounds and Almond Joy. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!
Oh and for the record, while I started on the bottom of my early relationships, I have a track record of turning total tops into total bottoms, if I do say so myself... Never say never boys...
You gotta lead by example :-)
I'd always been a top and took an opportunity to bottom about two years ago just to give it a try. Revelation! I loved it and am now completely versatile--in fact I could have kicked myself for waiting so long.
Interestingly, the New York boys who come up to visit here call Boston City of Bottoms, sometimes even with an edge of contempt. I don't know about that--among all the men I know, there seems to be a perfectly good mix to satisfy all tastes.
Hi Buff,
I am about 90% bottom and 10% top. I have enjoyed bottomming more but it took me afew years to admit that to people. I have tried to top more for my partner but bottoming feels more natural for me.
Philly seems to be a land-o-bottoms too, and that is ok. I used to pretend I was more top-ish years ago but that was a combination of my fear of bottoming (for getting diseaes, etc). and a fear of being identified as a BOTTOM because some men then used to treat bottoms like trashy women and that was scary to deal with.
I am better with bottoming now and identifying as a bottom and I guess I will "top for the right guy" when thetime is right. But I love to bottom, its the best!
Chris
I don't want to ramble on in great detail about this here (but I will elaborate on my own blog cause this touches a nerve), so suffice to say, I don't believe there is any shortage of bottoms. There is in all likelihood more now than ever. But there is a huge lack in the number of bottoms to label themselves as such willingly, hence the term, versatile. True, there are some who truly are, but often as not versatile or top versatile, or "will bottom for the right guy" is code for really wants to bottom. Maybe there's more than a bit of internalized homophobia going on here.
TOS hit the nail squarely on the head when he said: "I think that the bottom stigma comes more from that outdated, top = man, bottom = woman or bitch. People need to get over that. It's stupid. That is nothing but str8 homophobic backtalk."
Write on TOS.
And good topic to ponder Buf, glad you brought it up.
There are probably plenty of bottoms around if you're willing to do someone who is older or POZ. What annoys me are guys who are so "top" that they won't even suck, hence the attraction for top/vers.
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