Friday, January 19, 2007

Is There Such A Thing As A Gay Male Mid-life Crisis?



Seems that our friend, Dan Savage, has devoted a lot of his column this week to just such a question.

The guy writes about his hottie partner who is turning 40 and wants to celebrate at a clothing optional gay resort and have sex under the sky.

Been there, done that. And for me, it was just fun, and had nothing to do with time or space, for that matter.

I don't think wanting to be sexy, playing safely, and just being a guy has anything to do with a guy being a horndog. Enjoying leather, boots, jockstraps, play toys, whatever, do it if it feels good.

The partner shouldn't have a hang-up about it. But there are limits. Three ways are always best when all three players are consenual. And when all three are enjoying the playtime. That's why for three ways, the key player is the top guy who gives both his playguys equal attention.

It's winter now, and sure, it is the perfect time to snuggle and get real nice and cozy physically with your man. The sexiest thing this time of year is a pair of long johns with a nice button fly. Sure gives new meaning to the phrase, "Are you glad to see me?"

A healthy appetite for sex is nothing that should never be turnoff or dismissed, no matter how old a guy is. Channeling that energy into safe, sexy fun is something that should be enjoyed to the fullest.

Our man Dan, I feel, was right on with his advice, as usual. Explore, be adventurous, and consensual. The same old, same old, isn't who we are, sexually or otherwise. If sex becomes so routine, so mechanical, then something is missing.

I truly believe that you get out of something only by investing in the time and trouble of making your best effort. That goes with life and with sex.

13 comments:

1dude said...

Wauw..nice abs BUFF!!:P

BRETTCAJUN said...

Sex with another can be an adventure together with your partner. As long as it is someone from out of town or someone that want try to cling on.

Spider said...

I am 47 - am I has horny as often as I was 10 or 20 years ago... no. When things DO kick-in am I as hot as I was when I was 18 - you bet your ass... just like the good things in life - they don't come as often so you appreciate them even more... if that is a midlife crisis then so be it.

JB said...

No winter here so far - but we can still cuddle anyway.

Jesse said...

I guess I cant really comment on having any kind of midlife anything, but considering the shallowness(is that a word?) of modern gay culture these days, I can see how someone would want to expand their sexual horizons with someone they love. And for the record I am not one of those who think that over 29 is old.

Anonymous said...

Great words of wisdom, Buff! And what hot pics!

Anonymous said...

G'Day, just saw your comment & thought I'd drop by for a "sticky"... :)
Liking what I see here...Mmmmm
And must say I appreciate that you take the time to post your thoughts along with all the sexy men...
cheers mate

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I had a sort of mid life crisis. I came through it much more accepting of myself and others. But I wouldn't wish the experience on a dog.

Albert said...

First timer...I came via Shaney...mind if I stay and browse for awhile...I have to find out where DE Canada is...I am in NS Canada

Lewis said...

Right on, man. I appreciate your insight and agree 100%. I hate it that we cover up and hide feeling and desires because we "feel like we should." Bullshit. Make it fun, consentual, safe, and hot. And don't turn it down. Life is to be lived....and you only have one life. Cheers.

Leonard said...

Hi buff, thanks for stopping by and saying hi! Ok, um...I know I'm going to love this site...who is the hottie in the glasses and that tat on the right shoulder! HOT!! Ok, yeah I post a lot of twinks on my site but now ya know where my real interests are! ;-) peace

Karim said...

awesome abs.

Leonard said...

OH and I'm stealing that pic too...hey at least I admit it. ;-) peace

p.s. actually...let's just say there are a few I like...you'll have your own special blog post on my site..dedicated to the hairy men! ;-)