The Really Weird, The "Not So" Weird, and "The Winner Is , . ."

It has been quite a zainy week. To take the edge off of everything, here are some stories that might amuse you.

THE REALLY WEIRD

Our buddy, Dan Savage, answers a gay reader who is facing something I don't think we as gay men usually encounter.

Q. My background: I'm a gay man; I recently came out to my friends, mostly because I met someone with whom I wanted to pursue a relationship.

Eight months later, despite a few indiscretions on both our parts, I'm happy as can be. But I don't think we're in the same place emotionally. I need him well, actually I neeeeed him and he "needs his space."

Here's where the story gets on your nerves . . .

His prior "indiscretion" was with a German shepherd. I have no problems with his zoophilia per se, except that we have an almost nonexistent sex life. I wouldn't mind this aside from a few issues. First, he still masturbates. Second, he lied about it. Third, the very few times we have engaged in sex, he only receives, and it upsets me when he tries to maneuver us into a doggy-style position.

He is in therapy and it seems to be helping, but the more therapy he goes to, the less time he seems to want to spend with me. I love him and can't bear to think of us parting. I want to have sex with him, but I want to respect his boundaries. But how do I know when I've given him enough space, and how do I get him to want to spend more time with me? Am I right for giving him space? Or should I be more forceful in my pursuit? Not a German Shepherd

PS: Is his zoophilia relevant? I don't think it is, because I love him despite his attraction to canines. And I'm 24, while he is somewhere between 26 and 29. I don't really care about his age. The first time we exchanged ages he said 26, but his driver's license has a 1976 DOB on it.

A. Let's quickly review your case: The man you've fallen in love with likes to fuck dogs (or be fucked by dogs); doesn't much like being fucked by you (except in the doggy position); "needs his space" (in order to fuck dogs, no doubt); and lies to you about his masturbatory routine, age, and God only knows what else. The one thing he hasn't lied to you about is the dog fucking that little detail he's only too willing to share.

So yeah, NAGS, I'd say there's a problem here but you're the problem, not him.

Look, NAGS, I feel for you; I've been there. Well, not there I've never been with a dog fucker, I'm happy to report. But I have allowed myself to fall hopelessly in love with guys who were completely fucked-up. And here's what I learned: Sometimes we fall in love with people who, for whatever reason, simply aren't healthy enough to love us back. When you realize that you're falling in love with a hopeless mess, NAGS, you don't hang in there, hoping that your love will cure him. It won't. Love is great, love is grand, but love ain't chemotherapy it's not going to magically turn some sick fucker into a healthy fucker.

For the sake of your own self-esteem, dump the dog fucker before he dumps you. Trust me, NAGS, you don't want to look in the mirror every morning and think to yourself, "There's the guy who wasn't good enough for a dog fucker."

I think Dan's answer was right on target. But why did he let the relationship last this long? No guy can be that needy.
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The next post, The Not So Weird, comes from downunder. The Aussies just love their Priscilla, and now, a musical begets the movie. It's refreshing to read that gay roles are being filled by gay men.

N HIS SHOES by John Burfitt

Priscilla star Daniel Scott DANIEL SCOTT SAYS HIS OWN YEARS ON THE GAY SCENE HAVE PROVED VALUABLE IN GETTING INTO THE ICONIC ROLE OF FELICIA IN PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT. In 1994, Guy Pearce slipped into a frock and pair of high heels for the movie The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and in doing so, changed his career forever. By doing the same thing for the same role in the new stage version, it looks likely that Daniel Scott is about to see his career change in very similar ways. Having spent the past few years playing cameo and chorus roles on stage, slipping into the dual personas of bitchy scene queen Adam and his drag alter-ego Felicia Jolly-Goodfellow in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert has propelled Scott into leading man status – even if he is wearing high heels for most of the time. Not that Scott seems to have any complaints. He has recently starred as Neil Tennant in Dusty – the Original Pop Diva and as Johnny O’Keefe in a revival of Shout!, but now he is sitting in his dressing room at the Lyric Theatre, chatting with the Star while waiting for a pair of pencil-heeled stiletto heels to arrive. Scott admits, a little anxiously, that once the new pumps arrive, he has only a matter of days to master how to dance in them before the show makes its world premiere on Saturday. But it seems the 29-year-old actor has a good eye and picked up tips from his years on Sydney’s gay scene as both a barman and a former party boy. “It is quite ironic that of all the people who should get to play Felicia, it is me,” he says. “I have known a number of drag queens for years and they have helped me and inspired me along the way, but I always said drag has never really been my thing. “I did drag a couple of times before, once for a charity event and for someone’s birthday, but that really was it. But I have always watched to see how they do it. “When we started work on Priscilla, someone came in to show the cast how to walk in heels. I surprised myself as I found it really quite easy – it is all a matter of good balance.” As Adam-Felicia in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Scott plays the fiery, bitchy one of the trio of gender benders crossing the country as they head to a gig in Alice Springs. Scott sashays across the stage in a number of fancy frocks, fires out a succession of bitchy one-liners, and makes the best entrance in the show for his Mardi Gras-style production number of the Bananarama dance classic, Venus. But Sydney-born Scott insists that his character is more than just high heels and stinging put-downs. “I have taken little bits of all the Adams I have known from the past 15 years of my own life,” Scott says. “Being a gay man myself, I remember coming out and going on my journey. All the people I have met who are like Adam are incredibly insecure, not sure who they are and trying to figure everything out. “Adam is still figuring out his identity and persona, and we show him on that journey until he gets to a point of realisation and then he does make a change. He is very much at a point where he is saying, ‘You must accept me like this’. “I think it is interesting that I don’t tuck at all in the show - it is all done with codpieces and skirts. And that is Adam – he is very much, ‘I am a boy in a wig and a dress and I am hot’!” With a knock on his dressing room door, it seems the new high heels have finally arrived. Before disappearing into the wardrobe department, Scott offers one final insight into his character, “He might do all the showgirl stuff, but you might still be at Manacle at 10 early on a Monday morning! I think we have all been a bit like Adam.” Daniel should go far. He seems to be very comfortable playing this role. Hope we see more of him in the future, outside of drag. * * * Finally, The Winner Is . . . Mr. Gay UK 2006 was recently crowned. The hottie is a real cop. Go figure that. Police officer crowned Mr. Gay U.K. (That's his winning photo above) He’s a bobby dazzler! A West Yorkshire policeman has been crowned Mr. Gay U.K. 2006. Mark Carter, 23, was voted Britain’s sexiest gay man at Blackpool’s Flamingo Club. About 50 of his colleagues were there to cheer him on—in T-shirts bearing his picture—and he had the full backing of West Yorkshire Police in taking part in the contest. As one of 23 regional finalists, he stripped down to a skimpy swimsuit to reveal his tanned, toned body to celebrity judges including Big Brother’s Lea, Su Pollard, Rowetta, and Anita Dobson. He also appeared in a police-style outfit including a stab-proof vest during a “dress to impress” section. “I am absolutely 100% over the moon," Carter said. "Two years ago I used to cry myself to sleep at night, I was so daunted by the prospect of coming out, but when I did, it was the best thing ever. I was so happy I could finally be myself. “I came from a very straight background and upbringing, I played football, I was a sports captain, I had girlfriends," Carter continued. "I thought telling people I was gay would mean no one would want to know me, but at the Mr. Gay U.K. final I had more people together, supporting me, in one place, than I’ve ever had in my life.” Carter’s colleague Maureen Hales, one of the party who came along in matching T-shirts bearing his photograph, said, “Mark is great. I knew he’d win, he’s so down-to-earth. He’s lovely.” Carter, who lives in Bradford, won £5,000 in prizes and will embark on a year of personal appearances and photo shoots. He was representing Birmingham in the contest after winning the city’s regional heat at the Nightingale club on a night out. Carter came out to his colleagues a couple of months after he joined the police force and says he’s had support from the people he works with. Mr. Gay U.K. is chosen via text votes and on-the-night voting, on the basis of looks, personality, and "x-factor." “Mark is a great example of a young gay man achieving his goals in life," said competition organizer Terry George, adding, "If anyone assumed it was just bimbos that entered competitions like this, Mark’s proving them wrong.” (Gay.com/U.K.) So a really nice guy can win it all. Congratulations Mark.

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