Friday, May 05, 2006
Do You Mind Being Asked If You Are Gay?
Found myself reading yet another short but thought provoking article in the recent Details magazine and thought I'd share it.
Using our gaydar, we can almost always pick out a brother in the crowd. But is it okay when a straight person askes us about our sexual orientation? It really doesn't bother me when a women asks. I just tell her. But when a guy asks, I have to think twice.
I do so cautiously because this guy may be just inquisitive about gay life (I can handle that), or is really testing me and can have that "fag bashing" thought deep inside his brain. So it can be a coin toss where I am evasive or open in answering the question.
A funny suggestion quoted in the article by David Hauslaib, publisher of queerty.com, is "If you happen to be in a state with more than three square edges, (think Utah), then aod the subject entirely." So I guess it is up to the individual and the situation. Some of us live in places where we could face awful consequences if we reveal our sexual orientation.
It shouldn't be anybodys business. Sometimes I do think actions speak louder than words. But again size up the situation. Don't be tempted in public to slap a guy on the butt or plant a big wet kiss on his lips, or hug his pecs if you really aren't sure he's gay. Maybe the best advice may be to not ask or answer the question in casual conversation.