Thursday, December 20, 2007

Hoping We Never Live Through Another Year Like This One!!!

The Sissy Awards

What a gay year 2007 was!!!! Can't wait to see how 2008 turns out for the gay history book.

Every year we have to endure our fair share of idiots, but this year takes the cake. So we here at The Advocate have reinstated our annual sissy awards, recognizing those who show arrogant stupidity, dishonesty, or just a severe lack of spine. From Paris Hilton to Peter Pace, let's give it up for this year's winners losers.
By Alonso Duralde
From The Advocate January 15, 2008

Sissy Political Party -- The Republicans

If there’s one thing right-wing pols like better than blocking gay rights, it’s having gay sex. And 2007 gave us multiple orgasms:U.S. senator Larry Craig introduced us to the term “wide stance” when he was busted in a Minnesota airport for putting the moves on an undercover cop in the next stall. Craig pled guilty but held on to his seat (no, the one in the Senate).National Association of Evangelicals president Ted Haggard, outed as a regular customer by a gay hustler, magically became heterosexual after just three weeks in rehab. Lindsay Lohan would kill her dealer for results like that.

Glenn Murphy Jr., newly elected chair of the Young Republican National Federation, resigned in August after his arrest for performing oral sex on a sleeping acquaintance. In 1998 he’d committed a similar crime on a dude whose girlfriend was in the same room!Florida state representative Bob Allen offered to pay an undercover cop $20 to let Allen give him a blow job in a restroom. Preferring to play it racist rather than gay, Allen claimed he’d acted out of fear of the African-American men hanging out nearby. Result: He looked racist, gay, and stupid. Allen had been John McCain’s presidential campaign cochair for Florida.

Sissy Extracurricular Activity of the Year -- Public bathroom sex

Jim Naugle, mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., lobbied his city to spend $250,000 on “robo-toilets” in order to discourage gay men from having sex in public restrooms. Naugle said he was fighting to keep gays from taking over the city. Only two problems with that reasoning: There’d been no recent arrests for sex in restrooms, and anyway, Jim, it’s not so much gay men in all those stalls -- it's guys like the 20 men arrested in one month at a New York roadside restroom. Nineteen of them (including a Rotary Club president) were married. The 20th? A Catholic priest.

Sissy Vacation Destination -- Fort Lauderdale

Gay visitors to the Florida vacation spot have more to worry about than automated pissoirs. You might get verbally queer-bashed at the airport. In May, as a law professor and his partner waited for their luggage, a voice on the P.A. system started reading from Leviticus, saying, “A man who lies with another man as he would a woman is subject to death.” The mystery evangelist did not share the Bible’s views about parking in a red zone.

Sissy Grandpa -- Vice President Dick Cheney

Mary Cheney had a baby in May, and Mary’s proud papa huffed to interviewers that any questions about the blessed event were “out of line.” Does the VP know his alleged boss referred to Mary and her partner, Heather Poe, as the child’s “parents” on the White House website?

Second Verse, Sissy as the First -- Pope Benedict XVI

It wouldn’t be a sissy roundup without the pederast enablers at the Vatican. Prada-wearing devil Pope Benedict XVI reminded us that the Roman Catholic Church’s opposition to gay marriage is “nonnegotiable,” and an archbishop kicked in that same-sex marriage is “evil.” Meanwhile a Vatican monsignor, caught on hidden camera making advances to a youth, claimed that he was only pretending as part of his ministry. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Sissy Word of the Year -- FAGGOT!

An oldie but a goodie, this epithet had a banner year in 2007. Isaiah Washington allegedly used the word on the set of Grey’s Anatomy, definitely used it at the Golden Globes telecast, then went into “gay rehab” and hired a gay publicist. Results: Washington got fired, GLAAD got a new celebrity PSA, and classy costar T.R. Knight got better story lines.

Media opportunist Ann Coulter hurled the faggot taunt at John Edwards, leading to a public smackdown from the awesome Elizabeth Edwards and, regrettably, lots more TV time for Coulter. CBS Sports college basketball announcer Billy Packer -- who, with a name like that, obviously has issues -- used the term “fag out” on Charlie Rose. Rose’s viewers were so shocked they woke up.

Sissy Candy of the Year -- Snickers

Remember this fun Super Bowl commercial? Two mechanics eat a Snickers bar from opposite ends and wind up accidentally meeting in a kiss. Ew! To restore the manly vibe, one of them slams a car hood down on his buddy’s head. On the Snickers website folks enjoyed three other versions of the ad, all violent, plus clips of Super Bowl players watching the spots and making faces of disgust when the dudes kiss. Sweet!

MY comment: I still think this commerical wasn't bad and could have been really hot, except for the ending. How childish.

Sissy Sportsman of the Year -- Tim Hardaway

When retired NBA player John Amaechi came out, ex-player Tim Hardaway favored a radio interviewer with the following: “Well, you know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known, I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. Yeah, I’m homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world for that or in the United States for that. So yeah, I don’t like it.” Hardaway later said he’s sorry. But we knew that already.

Sissy Cinema -- Tie: Wild Hogs and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Because you can’t really choose between a midlife-crisis movie about four suburbanites who love to wear leather and ride motorcycles but are TOTALLY IN NO WAY GAY and a comedy about two straight firemen who get civil-unionized for the health benefits but are TOTALLY IN NO WAY GAY.

My comment: These flicks were so awlful, they should be forever forgotten.

Sissy Celebrities -- Mark Wahlberg and John Travolta

Of course, actors were perfectly capable of saying stupid things even if they weren’t appearing in awful movies:Former underwear model Mark Wahlberg says he turned down the chance to be in Brokeback Mountain because the script “creeped him out.” Mind you, this is the guy who said yes to Four Brothers and The Truth About Charlie.

Wild Hogs star John Travolta told the press there was “nothing gay” about Hairspray. Except its gay director. And the gay director of the original movie. And the gay men who wrote the songs. And several of its stars. My comment: So John is "gay for pay"?

Sissy Stud -- Marine Corporal Matt Sanchez

The Iraq War vet became a right-wing poster boy when he complained about being silenced by student activists at Columbia University. After he posed for pictures with the sulfur-reeking Ann Coulter and took his conservative-victim shtick to Fox News, it turned out Sanchez was already a celebrity in gay circles -- as man-on-man porn star Rod Majors and as (shades of Jeff Gannon) an escort. Shut up!

My comment: This is a sad commentary of a gay man who can't handle being gay. A real loser, in my book.

Sissy Waste of Space -- Paris Hilton

Arrests aside, it was still a spotty year for the heiress (and onetime grand marshal of the Los Angeles gay pride parade). In early 2007 an old tape surfaced in which she used both the n and f words; in September, paparazzi video showed Hilton stepping into a puddle and observing, “Oh, my God, I have, like, AIDS.”

Sissy Bloviator -- Bill O’Reilly

Fox’s star windbag keeps claiming he “gets it” about gays. Oh, really? Check out these O’Reilly insights:There’s a “national underground network” of lesbians terrorizing the nation, raping women, randomly attacking hetero men, and indoctrinating young girls. (O’Reilly later admitted this was “overstated.”)

It was “insane” and “inappropriate” for the San Diego Padres to host a gay pride night at the same game where kids under 12 got free hats. “Thousands of gay adults showed up and commingled with straight families,” he reported.

J.K. Rowling is a “provocateur” for saying that Harry Potter’s Professor Dumbledore is gay. Huffed O’Reilly: “Many parents are worried in America about the gay agenda and indoctrination of their children to see homosexuality in a certain way.” (In this same segment, O’Reilly had to be told that Rowling is a woman.)

My comment: This guy is a dumb-ass, and should forever be ignored.

Stop-the-Presses Sissies -- The Hollywood Reporter and Reuters

Both tried to yank THR writer Ray Richmond’s obituary of Merv Griffin because it discussed Griffin’s homosexuality -- the worst-kept secret in show business outside Kenny Rogers’s face-lifts.

My comment: As a little kid watching this show in the late afternoons, I had my first experience with gaydar. What a flamming queen.

Sissy Internationale -- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

At a speech at Columbia University, the Iranian president claimed that his country had no homosexuals. Not true, actually -- but not for lack of trying on Ahmadinejad’s part.

Four-star Sissy -- Gen. Peter Pace

During his tenure as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Pace called homosexuality “immoral” and compared it to adultery. Pace did not comment on rumors that his mother wears combat boots.

Senatorial Sissy -- Dianne Feinstein

Whatever mojo the California senator got out of shakily announcing the murder of Harvey Milk officially expired when the right-leaning Democrat -- “Joe Lieberman in a dress,” to some wags -- jumped the aisle and approved the nomination of Judge Leslie Southwick for the fifth circuit court of appeals. Southwick had advocated removing gay parents’ biological children from their homes.

Supersissy -- Spirit Warriors

After Marvel Comics finally stopped slapping an adults-only label on any comic book with a gay or lesbian character, born-again actor Stephen Baldwin -- a.k.a. the boring Baldwin -- promoted his crappy Jesus-y graphic novel Spirit Warriors in this press release: “With the most prominent comic book company lightening up its rating system, how can parents be sure their youngsters won’t get their hands on age-inappropriate material?”

Shabbat Sissies -- Haredi Rabbis and Followers

After extremist rabbis from the Eda Haredit sect put a curse on Jerusalem Pride, a Jerusalem city council member and representative of the city’s gays and lesbians received death threats; his phone number had been posted on Haredi Web forums. Moments before the pride parade began, police arrested an ultra-Orthodox Jewish man carrying an explosive device.

Who Would Jesus Smear?” Sissies --

Focus on the Family and the American Family Association When former Joint Chiefs chairman John Shalikashvili came out against “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the good folks at Focus and AMA painted the U.S. Army general as a dupe of homosexual activists who took advantage after he suffered a debilitating stroke. The stroke, alas, happened in 2004.

And there you have it, the very worst of being gay in 2007. How we all endured this, is any one's guess.

I wish all of your MEGA Hairy Muscle hugs of peace, love and Christmas and Holiday joy, and here's hoping that 2008 will be less stressful and less divisive.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Gay on Saturday night, Straight on Sunday afternoon. Is That Any Kind of Life, Switching One's Sexuality ON and OFF,to Suit The Mood or Situation?

The following discussion has been getting a lot of traction in the blog world this past week?

Do you think something like this could happen, or is it something from the pages of the Twilight Zone?

Turning Homosexuality On and Off
By John Tierney

What if you could take a drug that would quickly alter your sexual orientation from straight to gay, or vice versa?

To their surprise, neurobiologists have discovered that homosexuality can be turned on or off in fruit flies. They’d known that sexual orientation can be genetically programmed, but they didn’t realize it could also be altered by giving a drug that changes the way the flies’ sensory circuits react to pheromones.

Within hours of the treatment, previously heterosexual male fruit flies would be courting other males, and treatment could also cause flies who had been engaging in homosexual behavior to become exclusively heterosexual, the neurobiologists report in Nature Neuroscience. You can read a summary of it here from the University of Illinois at Chicago, the home of one of the researchers, David Featherstone.

“It was amazing,” Dr. Featherstone said. “I never thought we’d be able to do that sort of thing, because sexual orientation is supposed to be hard-wired. This fundamentally changes how we think about this behavior.”

The writer asked Dr. Featherstone if it might be possible one day to quickly alter humans’ sexual orientation. Here’s his answer:

"Although I am not sure my research is a big step in this direction, I think that ultimately the answer will be: Yes. After all, the goal of neuroscience is a complete understanding of brain function. Understanding in science is typically demonstrated by the ability to control a process."

"This morning, I received an email from a transsexual 5 years into her hormone therapy. She told me she regularly modifies her libido and orientation with diet and drugs. She even sent me a scientific reference explaining why her regimen might work. Now that is amazing research. "

The question of whether or not homosexuality should be turned on and off is not a scientific question. It is an ethical/societal dilemma. I am glad my work is stimulating the discussion earlier rather than later. History is replete with poorly thought out attempts to ‘cure’ societal/behavioral ‘illnesses’ that turned out, with proper perspective, to not be ‘illnesses’ at all.
So let the discussion begin. The author doesn't think of homosexuality or heterosexuality as an “illness” to be “cured,” but I wonder how people would use the ability to control sexual orientation — to have a designer libido.

Would some people, gay or straight, who weren’t having luck attracting one gender decide to switch to the other? Would some people casually switch back and forth?

Would some social conservatives (like Leon Kass), who normally object to biologists “playing god” and pharmacologists altering “human nature,” change their minds and urge the use of biotechnology to promote heterosexuality?

Would some social liberals try to restrict the use of this biotechnology? Would parents, gay or straight, want to regulate their children’s sexual orientation — and should they or their children be allowed to do so?

187 comments so far...

This is something that some guys, I would believe, would experiment with, to explore their "straight " side. For me personally, I wouldn't even be interested. I like who I am, and I like the fact that I enjoy loving and having sex with men, men who share my same plumbing, and who I have a lot of experience in making sure certain parts of the male anatomy are functioning to perfection. WOOOF. To me, there isn't any better way. To male buddy body bonding, may it continue to flourish and expand to the end of time.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Check out my Slide Show!

Ten Things Every Gay Man Should Know. Wow, This Is Way Too Easy. What about the other 59?

Something I thought I'd share with you. Our lives can't be that easy.

10 things every gay man should know Filed by: Bill Browning December 3, 2007 1:27 PM

Don't you wish being gay came with an owner's manual sometimes? Wouldn't it make things so much easier if we just had a checklist?

In that spirit, Bill shares with us what he considers to be the top ten things every gay man should know.

1. You will never find "the one" by trolling for sex on Manhunt.

2. Just because you're part of a minority group doesn't mean you know how all other minorities feel.

3. Some churches don't think you're sinful and in need of redemption.

4. You don't have to be married to be in a committed relationship.

5. HIV/AIDS is a gay disease. So are cancer, leukemia, bipolar disorderand cerebral palsy.

6. Just because you're "straight-acting" doesn't mean you're better than someone who's not.

7. Dick size does matter, but not as much as knowing how to use what you've got.

8. You are not the spokesperson for our cause. Others might have a different experience.

9. Steel Magnolias is not the best movie ever made. Neither is Brokeback Mountain.

10. Ass-less chaps are not appropriate evening wear for a fancy restaurant.

Now they tell me. I was thinking about wearing my chaps bare butt and booted later today for my post-opp visit with my surgeon.

Hey guys, last week I had two hernias repaired. I guess that's the down side of being a top man.

But I am feeling much better having them repaired, than I did before the operation. I'm still pretty much black and blue, so that's not a pretty sight.

Mega hairy muscle hugs to you guys. Hoping all is well, sexy, and horny with each and every one of you, studs. WOOF.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

World AIDS Day 2007. A Grim Reminder of the Nightmare Gay Men Continue to Live With, and Will Continue to, Unless, Commonsense Prevails

Today, marks yet another observance of World AIDS Day. This is one observance that I wish, would no longer have to take place. But it will, as long as, safer sex is not practiced.
I have continuously advocated safer sex as a reoccurring theme throughout the existence of this blog. I have begged, made numerous examples of hot alternatives to unsafe sex, pleaded, whatever, to draw attention to why the spread of HIV among gay men can never be condoned. It has to be condemned and the only way to fuck safely is by using condoms.
Yes, new revised UN statistics make the disease less threatening and less of an epidemic. I guess, for that, we should be grateful. But this really doesn't matter if one more gay man is infected today and tonight.
So, if there is a gay god, please sprinkle some cautious fairy dust among all gay men having sex to prevent the spread of any more infection tonight.
I cringe when this observance falls on Saturday, because this night makes gay men seem more vulnerable to unsafe sex temptation. If only all gay men getting together tonight could give each other mega hairy muscle hugs and body bond safely, with a lot of hot foreplay, and wake up tomorrow in each others arms, knowing that they survived the night without getting infected.
Then I would become a true believer in fairy tales.