Friday, April 28, 2006

Dink Flamingo thinks that "straight" men perform better sex with other men than gay men do when having consensual sex

Dink Flamingo operates the gay porn site,

It was reported in the current issue of Details that Dink, a gay man, has been luring these guys with money to perform man sex in front of his cameras. Dink has been doing this for several years and until recently, was doing so very profitably, and under the radar of the U.S. Army.

Dink has a thing for "straight" soldiers which he freely admits to in the Details article. He goes further to say that these guys perform better sex with each other than gay men do together.
He says that these guys don't have role hangups. Either these guys aren't really "straight" or he has them high on some drug.

He tends to pick guys who desparately need the money. He pumps them up with words they like to hear. After all, these guys like to please, and obeying orders is something they do very well. So maybe Dink could be considered the best director ever or a really good con man.

But Dink is facing a temporary setback. Seven of his "actors" were identified by the Army as appearing on Dink's site. The latest news concerning one of them appears below:

FORT BRAGG, N.C. (AP) -- An Army paratrooper pleaded guilty Thursday to engaging in sex acts on a military-themed gay pornographic Web site after a judge denied a request to dismiss the case.Pfc. Richard T. Ashley, one of seven members of the 82nd Airborne Division charged with appearing on the site, faces up to a year in prison, forfeiture of two-thirds pay for one year, reduction in rank and a bad conduct discharge.Ashley appeared calm in court Thursday, appearing with a military lawyer and a civilian lawyer. His family sat behind him in the courtroom as the judge questioned him about his plea.Ashley, Pfc. Wesley K. Mitten and Pvt. Kagen B. Mullen were charged with pandering, sodomy and wrongfully engaging in sexual acts over the Internet for money. Mitten and Mullen, who also faces adultery charges, have pleaded not guilty.

I for one would argue with Dink's observation. Gay men know what other men want and enjoy. Plain and simple. Those of us who truly love foreplay can make it as hot or hotter as any of these guys can. After all, they are role playing, whether Dink thinks so or not. They are being manipulated into having on camera sex. While it may be for some guys, great entertainment and fulfilling a fantasy, it's nothing like the real thing.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Have We as Gay Men Matured Enough to be Taken Seriously?

Why does it seem that a lot of gay men never really grow up? Some food for thought expressed in the following article from a British newspaper web site:

Society now accepts gay men as equals. So why on earth do so many continue to behave like teenagers? When a friend heard that I had just made a documentary called The Trouble With Gay Men, his only response was: "What, just one hour?" His cynicism may well be justified. Simon FanshaweFriday April 21, 2006The Guardian
In just one hour I get to burn every bridge in the gay world I've got. I'll become the whipping boy of the more extreme political factions of the gay world, and also of the hedonists who drink and drug and whore their way up the gay pleasure food chain in search of the ultimate high. Because both groups still think it is enough to be gay in order to be good. I no longer do. And in this program I set out to expose the fact that we gay men are living the lives of teenagers, still obsessed with sex, bodies, drugs, youth, and being "gay".
I deliberately say "we" and "I" throughout: talking about cruising, saunas, too much time spent on the web on gaydar - I own up to the lot, just like my gay friends do. This is not some sanctimonious moraliser looking into the goldfish bowl; it's a gay man in his 40s looking at the big open world and wondering when we are going to grab the chance to be grown-up in a society that now regards us, legislatively at least, as equals. We have demanded a place at the table, to use Bill Clinton's phrase, but now that it is laid, some of us insist on still behaving with the silly rebelliousness of extended adolescence.
When I was a student in the 1970s, what we were fighting for was visibility. That was what we needed first, just to be seen. The difference between being black and being gay has always been that if you're black you don't have to tell your mother. But the fight just to be seen and heard ended up with us defending all of our behaviour. Because the lid had been on the pressure cooker for so long, and we were defined by sex, then in order to be truly, madly, deeply gay, we had to celebrate everything homosexual. We made no judgments about our behaviour, our morality or the morals of the culture in which we swam and into which we introduced successive generations of gay men.
Some, for instance, claimed the "right" to cruise for sex. How ridiculous. We may well enjoy it, but it's not a right. The rights and wrongs are about not being arrested for it, not being killed for it. But in public spaces the issue is not whether it's gay or straight cruising, it's about whether you offend other people. Anyone, hetero or homo, runs the risk of upsetting others if they shag in public. Now we're grown-ups we have a responsibility to make those kind of judgments. But we don't. It's still almost impossible, for instance, to wonder out loud whether it really is acceptable to walk down the main street of Brighton dressed only in a thong, just because it's gay "pride". It's fun, it's a lark, but is it antisocial? Well, we still don't stop to ask. Just shut up! It's gay, honey.
We've all spent so long being told we're bent and queer and immoral and, most recently by Iqbal Sacranie, that we are "not acceptable" and "spread disease", that we have ended up making an equivalence of every kind of sexual activity, just because it's gay. So in gay magazines, while the front section is full of holiday features and interviews with gay celebrities or cute-boy eye candy off the telly, the back is full of rent-boy ads: one I read today contains no less than seven pages of them. Very pretty some of them are too. But we've normalised prostitution. It's practically an acceptable career path for any guy with a 29-inch waist and no visible acne.
And when it comes to sex, whether it's paying for it, or being beaten, or weed on, or doing it in groups, or doing it in saunas, we make no judgments about the effects on our health, emotional or mental, or the effects on our ability to make moral judgments in the world. If you question the depths and extremes of some kinds of sexual behaviour, you run the risk of being told, as I was by the owner of the sauna I interviewed in the programme, that you're not really gay: "a straight man in a gay man's body", were his exact words.
Judgments are made in the gay man's world, of course. But they are almost entirely based on looks. Gay men primp and preen, moisturise and exfoliate. Our bathrooms look as if someone has dropped a bomb in a sample shop. Some of us have six packs implanted into our stomachs, and the meat rack hangs us out to dry if we don't have perfect bodies in a clubbing world. We still even have beauty contests. And if we had the gay lawyer of the year contest you can bet it would have a swimwear section. Briefs, I guess you'd call it.
The world has changed for gay men. I have to add the ritual disclaimer that of course there's still homophobia, but the fact is that in law we have all-but total equality. Yet we continue to behave as if we are a disconnected minority, shut out from the world of responsibility. Gay men have a lot of catching up to do. Hooked on drugs and sex and looks, we call it gay culture. The figures are staggering: 20% of gay men in London use the incredibly damaging crystal meth. Studies show that men who do are twice as likely to become HIV positive. Since 1999, the figures for HIV infections have continued to rise in the UK. Syphilis infection rates among gay men have increased by 616% in the past five years.
There will be those of you reading this whose embarrassment at me washing our dirty linen in public will be rising fast. What will Sir Iqbal and the other homophobes do with these confessions? Well, he can go right back into the shameful dungeon of discrimination from whence he came. Because gay men have fought for equality and now we have a new world at our fingertips. Some of us are ready to embrace it: civil partnerships, our ability to adopt children, our real visibility in our own communities where we contribute in so many ways, from leading the fight against Aids, to campaigns that improve public safety for everyone - this is how we now live as citizens. But to embrace it we have to grow out of our teenage years of sex and drugs and mocking the old, and embrace a future of fidelity and responsibility. We're not just following the yellow brick road any longer. We're in the real world now.

The Trouble With Gay Men will be shown on Monday at 9pm on BBC3.

I hope this documentary makes it over the pond on BBC America.

P.S. Sorry for the gap in posting. I visited my Mom for a week during Easter and that kept me busy. Hoping the Easter Bunny left each and every one of my studbuds a basket full of creamy and gooey treats. WOOF.

Friday, April 07, 2006

On this Rainy Friday, Hoping This Food for Thought and Eyecandy Brings You Enjoyment and Fullfillment

I normally don't quote Andrew Sullivan, but he must have been lucid enough to write something that I can agree with.
What say you?
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
The Next Gay Generation
04 Apr 2006 05:10 pm
Some of them are angry at my perceived nostalgia:
"As a 21 year old, Ivy-educated gay man, I find it interesting, albeit predictable, that older gay men are lamenting the death of gay culture. Frankly, I'll be much happier once drag shows and camp goes out the window. Unfortunately, I feel sincerely that the prevalence of sex shops and theaters, the celebration of farcical dress, and the obsession older gays have with a separate minority identity have done little outside give fodder to the religious right and keep us out of the mainstream. In fact, I feel that the older generation has done a great disservice by not giving us real role models and, instead, taking joy in anonymous sex in darkened theaters, dissolution of the family model, and wallowing in outrageousness. All of these things have contributed to a gay culture wherein I, as a politically active, liberal, professional, educated, monogamous, partnered, JCrew/LL Bean wearing, HIV Negative man am an unfortunate minority.
How am I supposed to support gay leadership when they seemingly endorse a culture of death (excessive partying, no interest in children, HIV, anonymous sex, etc.) and lament whenever another pit of self disrespect (i.e. sex shops/theaters, drag theaters) is closed? I truly love you and your words, Andrew, but enough is enough. Let us move on together and create a real culture with a real future and abandon the culture of separatist victimization we were forced into years ago by a repressive society."
I understand where this guy is coming from. But I don't think my essay suggests we should cling to the past. On the contrary. I wrote "Virtually Normal" for a reason and helped pioneer the idea of marriage for gay couples almost two decades ago precisely to chart such a gay future. But human beings are fallible and flawed and, well, human. While we can and should strive to move on, we need not be excessively judgmental about those in the past or present whose pace of adjustment is not so swift. I have never been an angel myself, and have often failed to live up to ideals I hold. But life is a flawed journey; and the point, at least in my Catholic soul, is the struggle and forgiveness in that struggle. I've learned that lesson the hard way. I hope my 21 year-old reader does better in his own future. He'll start from a base my own generation had no inkling of.
I might add that there's nothing to my mind in any way wrong with drag, cross-dressing or other gender-bending activities. They do not define gay life, or many gay men; but they are surely one part of gay culture and are genuine expressions of some gay men's identity. In the past, drag queens helped forge the small space in which today's 21-year-old Ivy Leaguers can now breathe. The lesson to me is that gay men should do less judging of one another. We should rather try and become the future we want to forge. And let our example, however imperfect, lead others.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

WHO IS This Guy???

Big Hairy Muscle Hugs to the first guy identifying him.
Well, that was quick. No sooner than I posted this, the correct reader identified this guy.

Yes, I think he's now in the witness protection program. What a disfigured image this is. A plastic surgeon gone wild.

The answer is Kenny Rogers, and I still can't believe it. So big hairy muscle hugs goes out to Annoymous.

Fuck, What We Do In the Privacy of Our Own Bedrooms Can't Be Illegial, Can It?

Some interesting food for thought on this first day of Daylight Savings Time.

Sodomy: What Is It?
Sodomy is most commonly legally defined as any contact between the genitals of one person, and the mouth or anus of another. The word has its origins in Christianity. It is sometimes used to mean sexual deviation, though in legal contexts it is defined as above. Throughout history, "sodomites," mostly male homosexuals and bestialists, have been punished by a largely theocratically controlled government, in hopes of stamping out "ungodly practices" that might bring divine retribution against Christian society. In medieval Europe, intercourse between a male field worker and a noble woman was legally considered "sodomy," as it was thought to cause a poor harvest. The history of the concept of sodomy is tied to the Church in most every case.
Currently, there is no federal sodomy law, though some federal land falls under maritime jurisdiction, which may have sanctions in some cases. 25 states do not have sodomy laws. 5 states have laws pertaining to homosexual sodomy only, and the remaining 20 states, plus the District of Columbia, have laws covering all sodomy, even between heterosexuals.
How some states have titled their sodomy statues
Alabama: "Sexual Misconduct"
District of Columbia: "Sexual Psychopaths"
Florida: "Unnatural & Lascivious Act"
Massachusetts: "Sodomy & Buggery" but it is legal for same sexes to marry. What do they do in bed???
Maryland: "Unnatural or Perverted Sexual Practices"
Mississippi: "Unnatural Intercourse"
Montana: "Deviate Sexual Conduct"
Texas: "Homosexual Conduct" Well, that's no surprise.
Wisconsin: "Sexual Perversion"

Only For Homosexual Conduct
The five states with sodomy laws pertaining to homosexual conduct only.... Arkansas,Kansas,Montana,Nevada,Texas

The Dirty Dozen
The twelve states with the toughest maximum penalties are...
Michigan LIFE in prison for repeat offenders, 15 otherwise
Georgia 20 years
Rhode Island 20 years
Tennessee 15 years
Maryland 10 years
Mississippi 10 years
Montana 10 years, homosexual offenders only
North Carolina 10 years
Oklahoma 10 years
Washington, DC 10 years
Nevada 6 years, homosexual only
Idaho 5 years MINIMUM penalty

Other States With Sodomy Laws
South Carolina