Friday, September 30, 2005

Does Viagra Contribute 2 the Spread of HIV?

That's what inquiring minds gathering in Maryland are attempting to find out.

One of the scheduled attendees, Dr. Jeffrey Klausner is reported as saying that San Francisco was poised to eliminate syphills in 2000. However there have been thousands of new cases since that time. He said that gay men seeking treatment for sexually transmitted diseases report an average of 18 partners in a prior two month period. Could Viagra and its competitors responsible for this, or are gay men hornier during the summer months?

He further links these erectile dysfunction drugs with an increase in risky behavior and an increase in sexually transmitted diseases in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York. The good doctor wants Viagra and the others classified as controlled substances and thus have the FDA be able to regulate their usage and curtail their illegal distribution. What's a party boy to do?

He wants the ads modified and free samples given by doctors eliminated.

Pfizer Inc. which manufactures Viagra has said that it does have a safe sex message but it is more tailored to the general population that to gay men who have high risk sex.

They wiggle around this by saying that Pfizer strongly suports the efforts to prevent the spread of HIV and STDS though education of safe-sex practices. However I haven't read anywhere that Pfizer is putting its money where its mouth is, by donating funds to gay men's health groups to combat unsafe sex.

Ken Mayer, medical research dirctor of Boston's Fenway Community Health, says that an educational push targeted at gay men to use Viagra could also help dispel the growing perception by some that HIV is a manageable, not fatal, infection.

According to his study, 18 percent of Boston men seeking treatment there said that they used Viagra during the preceding month. Nearly 8 percent had used csystal meth, and 10 percent had used Ecstasy. A positive correlation between getting high, having risky sex and staying hard. Houston, do we have a problem?

Ken feels that the drug manufactures of erectile dysfunction drugs would not want their drugs to be perceived as "gay" drugs. But the data definitely points to the fact that they are being used in gay sex.

I don't use Viagra because I don't need it. I've talked about Viagra before and if a guy has problems getting hard, than certainly he should try it. But just for the sake of have a long lasting erection and having risky sex, I feel that a guy with that purpose in mind would be misusing it.
Viagra and unsafe sex are a dangerous combination that should be avoided by sane gay men everywhere. You can play safe and still be able to fuck your partners brains out. It's all in the way you pursue that pleasure that matters most.

AIDS Virus "Could be weakening"

According to the BBC News account, a European institute has compared HIV-1 samples form 1986-89 with those from 2002-03.

They found the newer samples appeared not to multiply as well and were more sensitive to drugs-while some other studies argue they are becoming more resistant.

They were only able to compare 12 samples from each time period, so the sampling could have a probability of error.

The scientists, putting a positive spin on their research, said that the HIV virus that causes AIDS may be causing death at a slower rate.

The study concludes that as HIV passes from one person to another, it has already toned down some of its most pathogenic effects in respone ot its host's immune system.

So the study suggests, that over several generations, HIV could become less harmful to human hosts. Let's hope that this comes to pass. But in the meantime, playing safe is the only certain prevention from being exposed to HIV.

Dr. Marco Vitoria, an HIV expert at the World Health Organization, said that other diseases, such as smallpox, TB and syphillis, had shown the same tendency to weaken over time.

However Dr. Vitoria stressed that the latest findings should lull people into a false sense of security.

The study does add to the body of evidence indicating that HIV is howing no signs of dying out in the near future. Grim reality.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

My 200th Blog Post, I Didn't Know That I Had It in Me

I guess I reached a milestone today. This is my 200th post to this blog. For the last year, I've averaged 4 blog posts a week. Being faithful to something like this takes a lot of dedication. I hope that these posts have been informative and enjoyable to you.

My main goal in writing Buff's Tufftalk is to share with you gay sex and all of its ramifications from a top man's perspective. I have tried to write about topics that could make a difference on how, we as gay men, perform in the sack, have sex responsibly, and do so with some fun and imagination.

I shared with you the pitfalls of cruising as well as as what's hot under the sheets. I continue to believe that each one of us is very sexy and is hot in each of his own way. If I do stand on a soapbox, it's only to promote safer sex. I know we aren't robots and emotions drive us to do what we do.

Touch, I feel, is a very important part of the sexual experience. Being a nipple man, touch is the ultimate sense in foreplay. Sure, sight and sound play an important part as well. But it's during foreplay that can drive your partner absolutely crazy with desire.

I have met many fellow queer bloggers along the way and I cherish everyone that I have come into contact with. What makes blogging fulfilling is the fact that someone is reading your blog and feels that it is important enough to comment. That feedback is critical, a sign of acceptance. And taking a few moments out to comment shows me that my blog post was significant and that you shared or had an opposing view that meant a lot to you.

My adventures in life are from a first person perspective. But I didn't want this blog to be an online diary. I wanted it to reflect who I am and what I feel about being a gay man today. Issues such as same-sex marriage are important to all of us. Our human rights, equality, health, enjoyment, pleasure are all issues that I find fascinating and crucial in our daily lives.

I hope to continue to be faithful to my writings and to you guys. You made all of this happen.
And in my own small way, big hairy muscle hugs of thanks. I could not have continued the commitment without you.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

What's All the Fuss About?

In the Op-ED section of the New York Times,
the writer views the gay marriage issue as one of normality.

In Massachusetts, gay marriage is legal. Over 6,600 same-sex couples have married over the past year without punishment, heckling, no signs of adverse effects. The sanctity of heterosexual marriage has not been destroyed. Public morals are the same before as since gay marriage. No spurn by the electorate in Massachusetts. Legislators who supported gay marriage in last year's vote have been re-elected. And the good part, those gay couples, who had been in a monogamous relationship for years prior to 2004, have rejoiced at official recognition of their committment.

Critics of gay marriage in Massachusetts have softened somewhat. It seems that gay marriage, as it turned out, is good for family values. Gay parents are loving and nuturing, and now their families are recognized in Massachusetts.

But there are others who are ready to raise their ugly heads. These opponents are now getting behind Gov. Mitt Romney's proposal that would ban gay marriages without allowing civil unions, ignoring the decision of the Massachusett's Supreme Court in 2003 that ruled that under the State Constitution, same sex couples had the right to marry.

The writer hopes that this new cry of fear and bigotry will be squashed as well. But the bible thumpers will not be silenced. They will continue to work to overturn the court ruling. In the meantime, gay couples continue to get married and get on with their lives. And that's the way it should be for all gay couples everywhere.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Jeremy Willliams, a New Orleans dancer, and His Story of How He Was Forced to Leave the City He Loves

Jeremy Williams could well be the gay posterboy, the ray of home in the wake of Katrina's wrath on New Orleans.

According to a Washington Blade article posted at their website for this week's issue, (read it at, Jeremy, whose hometown is nearby Opelousas, Louisiana, had just gotten settled into his New Orleans apartment last month to begin school, continue his love of dancing and love of New Orleans. But that big broad, Katrina had another future for him and countless other survivors.

He was looking forward working during Southern Decadence to make some extra money for school and life. He went to work at the gay club, Oz, the evening of Saturday, August 27, during the remaining hours that NOLA stayed intact.

That night, business was slow at OZ, but the guys who worked there were confident that things would blow over and were looking forward to the crowds to show up during Labor Day weekend for Southern Decadence. That would be too optimistic beyond belief.

Oz is a 24/7 club like all of the French Quarter. But the music stopped at about 3 am on Sunday, August 28. Th owner had stopped the music and told customers and employees that the hurrican was headed straight for the city. He paniced at first. Most of his buds had already fled the city. But it so happened that one bud, Perry Stelly could give him a lift later that Sunday to Lafayette.

On Monday, Labor Day, it appeared that the storm had veered to the east and had spared NOLA. But as we later all learned, it wasn't to be. The 17th St levee broke, flooding vast areas of the city.

The Lakeview area, a gay mecca, was flooded. Gay men had spent vast sums of money to restore many of the old homes there. Now their investments, their homes, their lifestyle, was in ruins. But Williams was resourceful. He had internet access and post updates of his whereabouts on his profile. Sites like bigmuscle and bigmusclebears have been a lifeline for many gay men during this crisis.

Jeremy isn't the kind of guy that just sits around. He volunteered for six days at the Lafayette Red Cross shelter. He started out manning one of the registration tables. His job was to answer questions about who had registered at the shelter. Most of the inquiries were about finding loved ones. Sadly he had to turn away so many to the next nearby shelter because those who were missing had not registered at that particular shelter.

But a guy, however good natured and well meaning, can take this dispear for so long. After nearly a week, he had to quit volunteering. So gay men to the rescue for a fellow survivor.

Jeremy had met Howard Marr and John Spano of Hollywood FL, four years ago. John managed CUPID's, a gay dance club in West Palm Beach. Jeremy got several dance gigs at the club and returned to the area from time to time to work. In fact, Williams had lived in Fort Lauderdale with the two men earlier in the year before returning to Louisiana in July. He contacted them, but at first could not get to Fort Lauderdale. Luckily, Stelly's mother back in Lafayette, could give him a lift to Houston, where he was able to purchase a ticket for a one way flight to Fort Lauderdale. He got to Howard and John's place on Wednesday, September 7th.

Jeremy is ever so grateful to his two buds. But he fears about the prospects of New Orleans gay bars returning to their past glory. He worries about his friends and whether they will be able to return to work. Most of Jeremy's possessions are still back in his New Orleans apartment.

He also suffers from hearing loss, and was eligible for a hearing aid from the state. Now all of that documentation is lost in the red tape, probably lost, because of Katrina. So he has to struggle with this and also postpone training to become an emergency medic.

He says that he misses above all, his magical circle of gay friends back in NOLA. I think Jeremy will bounce back. His story is but one of thousands that could be told by gay men after Katrina.
They are in our hearts. Things will bounce back. And guys like Jeremy will, hopefully soon, be able to return to their beloved New Orleans, to party and to live their lives again, but with a twist. I don't think any of them will take for granted next time the uniqueness and spirit that New Orleans offers to gay men. And it will be gay men that will contribute to its rebirth.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

American Seminaries Are Under Vatican Review For Gay Sexual Activity

A new witchhunt of sorts will be sweeping the 229 Roman Catholic seminaries in the U.S. in the coming months.

Investigators appointed by the Vatican are out to seek "evidence of Homosexuality" and also to weed out those faculty members who dissent from church teaching. Oh brother!

The bottom line here is, "anyone who has engagbed in homosexual activity or has strong homosexual inclinations" should not be admitted to seminary. Well, if this is held to close scrutiny, that might tag about half of new seminarians as unfit, and a further drain on the already stretched army of priests serving parishs in the U.S.

This purge is the result of a conclusion that about 80 percent of the young people victimized by priests in the U.S. were boys. A kind of purification of the priesthood sounds to me, like not willing to accept the fact that gay men are priests and if that was recognized, then perhaps allowing them to serve God and love themselves might be achieved.

The catechism of the Catholic Church says people with "deep-seated"homosexual tendencies must live in chastity because "homosexual acts are intriniscally disordered". And straight priests who abuse everything imaginable, are somehow, good examples of what a Catholic priest should be? Give me a break.

Reverand Reese, thinks otherwise. He says, "You could have somebody who's been in the seminary for five or six years and is planning to be ordained and the rector knows they're homosexual." "What are you going to do, throw them out?"

One of the "questions" that the reviewer must answer, "Is there evidence of homosexuality in the seminary?"

A gay priest who was not allow to identify himself for the New York Times article, says, as such, that these questions will make gay priests question whether they should ever have been ordained.

So what will come of this inquiry is anyone's guess. But to make all gay priests scapegoats is unfair. The Catholic Church needs to look inside itself and question its doctrine before punishing gay priests. The quick fix never works.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Has South Beach Become Unsafe for Gay Men?

Yes, men, these times, they are "a changin."

Reports of an increase in hate crimes has increased in recent months in the South Beach area of Miami.

The slurs of 'fag" and being hit with rotten eggs from passing cars is become the common occurrence lately.

Not too long ago, South Beach, was characterized as a gay haven. It has become less so because of these incidents.

On July 4, Carl Zablotny, the gay publisher of Wire, a gay entertainment rag, was punched in the face and knocked unconscious by two young men who made anti-gay remarks.

As these incidents become more common place, gay men are thinking differently about South Beach. Some are leaving, like Antonio Dumas, an owner of a gift shop and deli on Ocean Drive.
He was tired of the verbal harassment and shop lifting, so he closed his shop and relocated. He doesn't have any regrets.

The number of gay clubs has dwindled in recent years. Warsaw, Torpedo and Hombre have bitten the dust. But others still thrive, like Twist.

I guess it all depends on location, location, location. The Palace, a popular gay bar and restaurant on Ocean Drive seems to be insulated by the problem. It is situated between two 4 star hotels. It doesn't have the drug addicts and homeless people that Washington Ave. around 9th Street has.

Even a leatherman can't be too save. Incidents have been reported from men leaving the Loading Zone. These crimes aren't just happening to twinks and drag queens. They seem not to discriminate.

So the word to the wise, if you're plan on going out to gay establishments anywhere, especially when traveling, watch your back. Don't go out alone. And by all means, strut like you mean it. You don't want to be the next hate crime statistic. I love you men too much to see any one of you getting hurt.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Whatever Happened to the AIDS Memorial QUILT?

I was wondering the same thing. I last saw it in its entirety in 1993 at the March on Washington.
Its founder, Cleve Jones, seems to have had a falling out with the foundation that now cares for the AIDS quilt. However this past Wednesday, the two sides reached an agreement.

Both sides agreed that Jones will be allowed to nominate four finalists for two positions ong the foundation's board of directors which come open each year.

Jones had created the AIDS Quilt and had been its spokesman from 1987 until 2002. The quilt has grown over the yeas, and now weighs 50 tons. They stopped expanding it several years ago.

I know when I saw it in 1993 that I was deeply touched and moved by it as it spread along the base of the Washington Monument and the Smithsonian Mall. At that time the entire quilt was displayed.

Since that time, portions of the quilt are being displayed in cities throughout the nation. However that does not have the same impact.

The new leadership moved the quilt from San Francisco to Atlanta in 2001 and this move provoked the split between Jones and the group.

It is a shame that such pettiness reared its ugly head. So many of the quilts depicted the lives of bear men and leathermen. Some were very poignant and moving. I will always be deeply touched by the show of love and commitment that went into these quilts. The men who died during the early battle of AIDS will not be forgotten.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Will "the Terminator" veto AB 849, California's Civil Marriage Protection Act or Will He Be A Man and Sign the Legislation?

So it seems that the Arnold is chicken shit and will veto the bill.

The bill is all enclusive and protects all families who are the most vulnerable to discrimination.

Equity California has been on the forefront in the battle for gay marriage. But with passage by both the Assembly and the Senate, all of these efforts may have been in vain for now.

The Traditional Values Coalition has been relentless in its opposition to the bill. It supports Proposition 22, a law enacted trhough a ballot initiative in 2000 which states, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

There will be plenty of litigation as the battle rages on. The religious wrong are spearheading efforts to put two measures on the ballot as early as next year to amend the California constitution to block relationship recognition for gay and lesbian couples.

The last state wide poll on the subject taken last month has likely votes evenly split 46 percent on the issue of civil marriage for same-sex couples.

The grass roots campaign that led to passage of AB 849 is not going away. They will continue to press legislators for their support to uphold the vote.

So the more the public is brought into the conversation and educated, the more we gain ground in winning their support.

Regardless of whatever happens in California this week, the issue of same-sex marriage is not going away. Afterall, it's our right to be married and the benefits of that recognition that's at stake.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Gay Men Must Stop HIV Spread

The battle to control HIV rages on.

A British gay men's health group, GMFA is encouraging all gay men, whatever their HIV status, to take responsibility for preventing the transmission of HIV.

From a survey GMFA conducted, it concluded that many gay men expected other gay men to take different levels of responsibility depending on their HIV status or whether they were top or bottom in sex. To me, that means that the top man is responsible for making sure safer sex is engaged.

So it's a blame game, gay men expect HIV positive sexual partners to reveal their status before intercourse. Also HIV positive men feel that it is up to their partners to take care of their hown health and assume that anyone willing to have sex without a condom is also HIV positive. We all know where "assume" gets us, but never assume, just put on the condom.

One in four gay men, according to the study, who had not been diagnosed HIV postive had been receptive in unprotected sex with somone whose status they did not kno or who they knew to be HIV positive. In this case, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" doesn't work. So ask and tell, every time you hook up for m2m sex.

So their campaign focuses on the presumption that it doesn't matter what your HIV status is, it's up to every guy to take responsibility for the sex they have and to stop the spread of HIV.
Period. This is something I have advocated for years.

This positive campaign focuses on teaching HIV positive gay men to protect themselves from more deadly strains of HIV. This is a valiant effort which I applaud.

To learn more, log on to

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

How Gay Men are Coping and Volunteering to Help With the New Orleans Relief Efforts

There is a gay dude, Ricky, who works for the New Orleans Fire Department. He is gay and is writing his thoughts and observations to share with all of us over the net. To find out more about him and his neverending efforts to save lives and recover the dead, log onto yahoogroups and search for "Our Hero Ricky" and sign up. He needs our support and love at this critical time to help him do his job.

Ricky reports yesterday that without any fanfare, Sean Penn was seen helping with survivor and rescue operations in New Orleans. There are others there I suppose, just as determined to help. They are truly the unsung heros. My thanks goes out to Ricky for all he is doing. Big hairy muscle hugs and be safe. Our hearts and prayers are with you.

Reports from NOLA have found many dead bodies floating in the water and the relief efforts continue. FEMA estimates that it could take up to six months to get the water out of New ORleans and then the city would have to dry out, taking up to 3 months. Then all that mud and debris would have to be removed. This could take a lot of time. So estimates of up to 2 years before people can return to a functioning city would be realistic.

Reports citing tattered but proud gay flags hanging in the French Quarter are evident signs that things can and will eventually return to normal there. This has to be the case. NOLA has been welcoming gay men to celebrate and party for many years. Southern Decadence was celebrating its 33rd year this year but was postponed because of Katrina and the damage caused by its wake.

We just got to be patient and be ready to support our favorite gay bars and hang outs there when the time comes for them to reopen. They are part of our heritage, regardless if we have ever set foot in them. Our gay leather and bear brothers who have been displaced from NOLA need to know that we are thinking about them and haven't forgotten about them.

From hardship comes renewal. I know that things can only improve. With guys like Ricky, this will happen.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Police in Montreal confirm the dead Bodies as those of Missing Gay Club Dancers

This story was circulating earlier in the week, and now, there is a very sad ending.

Steven WRIGHT OF Guerneville, CA and Mark Kraynak of Uniontown, :PA had been missing for more than a week.

THeir bodies when found by the police, were severely decomposed and were identified by their clothes.

Autopsies will be conducted to determine the cause of death.

THE bodies were found in a stone quarry in Laval, Quebec, CA.

Wright and Kraynak had spent the summer performing at Remington's, a gay strip club in Toronto. Before returning to the US, the pair along with a friend and their agent decided to visit Montreal.

The two after staying in Montrel left their hotel early on August 22 and said they were going to an after hours club in Laval. That was the last time anyone heard from them. The quarry is located near the club.

Kraynak had wanted to be a fashion model, but soon he became involved with the porn industry.

He said he was straight, and was angry when the club promoted him as a gay stripper. THE ex-Army soldier was afraid that his girlfriend might find out.

Wright was known as a party boy and enjoyed his stripper duties very much.

Some said that he was like a kid in a candystore.

Too bad for both these guys. They found out the hard way the risks of being in porn. It can be a very ugly business, especially for a guy who is pretending either to be gay or be straight.

Their fun was deadly. They may have pissed off the wrong guy, and ended up dead.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Can Straight Guys Teach Gay Men How to Have Better Sex? Michael Alvear of Need WOOD Thinks So

I like to read Michael Alvear's "Need Wood" column which he writes under the pen name, Woody Miller. He seems sincere and has some good tips about foreplay, which you guys know is a very big deal to me as the main ingredient for great man on man sex.

Well our Michael has a new program on HBO called Sex Inspectors. It is a British import that takes the minicam into straight couples bedrooms in Britian while he and a female cohost critique the sex tapes as part of the program.

Michael was contacted for the show because the producers felt that a gay sex expert would be unbiased in his analysis. Maybe so, but since we men aren't cunt lovers, I guess Michael is one hell of an unbiased judge.

Michael says that for gay male couples, the no. 1 problem is mismatch libidos. Well, if the guy isn't quite ready, that's when the top guy steps in and makes his partner feel so special that he'll be ready quicker than Dolly Parton changes wigs.

He also feels that some guys need more foreplay, others less. Well, Michael, that's when reading the other guy well cums handy as well as a nice backup drawer of toys. Yes, mood plays a very big part in the overall outcum of sex. But a guy has to prepare himself and warm-up, somewhat, like an athlete. It can help to get not only the cock pumped, but the biceps, triceps, pecs and thighs, to be at his best. It takes a hell of a lot of muscles, the total package as well as the brain, to make sex pleasurable and enjoyable.

I wish Michael all the best in this endeavor. Gay men dress straight men, why not give them sexual advice. But I doubt I could learn anything from a straight ass guy who likes his woman all made up in lace, lipstick and perfume. A tall pair of leather boots and a smile is all I require. WOOF.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Homophobia Rears Its Ugly Head on Craigslist

I just read a report at that identifies gay men seeking gay men or m4m with a warning about "explicitly sexual content" at the men seeking men link.

Upon entering that area, the user has to confirm that he is 18 + y.o. and agrees to the release, "The providers, owners and creators of this site are released from any and all liability which may arise from (my) use of the site." Heavy content, I must say.

This is discrimination, pure and simple, since the other categories do not require such an release.

The company responded with the following statement, "men seeking men users, they're of a culture that is different than the others." So what does that make us exactly, perverts?

So if you use craigslist, then you might feel a little slimey. But hell, just stick with the tried and true such as, adam4adam, dudesnude and manjam, among others.

I wish all the men the best of Labor Day weekends. I know your thoughts and prayers are with our brothers living in the New Orleans area affected by the tragedy that has unfolded this week.

I love New Orleans,NOLA, have been to Southern Decadence, and appreciate all the friends and guyz I met there. Southern Decadence will be postponed this year, unfortunately. To all those Christian right groups that have blamed SD with Katrina, I say, BullShit. NOLA has been the place for all types of lifestyles to party and enjoy themselves. Don't target musclebears and the bear community for this hardship. We guyz know better. Have a great Labor Day weekend. Big hairy muscle hugs. All my love. We'll make it through together.