Wednesday, April 27, 2005

It Hurts When a Longtime "Friend" and Supporter Turns Its Back

I came across a story that identified Microsoft as backing down to the demands of an activist minister by withdrawing its support for Washington State legislation which would have banned discrimination against gays and lesbians in housing, empoloyment and insurance. As a result the bill was defeated last week by one vote.

Microsoft in its bullshit public statement said, through Steve Ballmer that it had met with a local minister strongly oposed to the bill who is the "pastor" of a Seattle congregation that includes "many" Microsoft employees.

Ballmer was also quoted as saying, " I don't want the company to be in the position of appearing to dismiss the deeply held beliefs of any employee by picking sides on social policy issues."
Sounds to me like Microsoft is bigoted and feels stronger about bigotry of some of its staff over others.

Darrel Cummings of the LA Gay and Lesbian Center said the firm had made a "colossal mistake"
and called upon the company to return the Corporate Vision Award it received from the group several years ago.

In a further statement, Ballmer continued the BS, saying that MS remains strongly committed to internal antidiscrimination policies protecting, "gay, lesbian, bisesual and transgender employees".

This reverand, Ken Hutchinson, threatened a nationwide boycott of MS products had the company taken a proactive stand for the legislation.

If it would do any good, I'd like to see a boycott of MS products because of their actions to not support the legislation. But that's like throwing a pebble at a 100 foot tall monster.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Tattoos: A Sign of Individual Expression or a Stupid Mistake

I was just thinking about getting a tattoo on the left side of my lower abs above the hip. Something biker related or a bicep, larger than a size of a quarter, and probably smaller than the size of a yogurt plastic cap.

How many of you hot dudes have tattoos. Have you regretted getting them? Were they significant at the time, but not meaningful now?

They are a form of individual expression and they commit you to whatever form they take.

I know some guys really like the tattoo that looks like an armband. They are cool, but I still like to wear my leather armband.

It's definitely something to consider as well as who is repurtable. You really don't want something like blood poisoning or something worse if it is performed by an amateur. So stay clear of those offering tattoos on the party circuit or the gay rodeo circuit.

If I had a favorite image, it would be of a muscular bear giving big hairy hugs to another guy.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Famous, Infamous or Trivial. You Make the Call

The Discovery Channel has developed a new series, hosted by Matt Lauer. It will begin broadcasting on Sunday June 5, 2005 and air every Sunday in June.

The show has identified through public participation and input, the 100 Greatest Americans. If you assumed that some Presidents, scientists, astronauts, and war heroes were included on the list, you'd be correct. Click on

What amazes me is how short sighted Americans can be. Why would anyone pick Codoleeza Rice, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brett Favre, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Madonna, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jackson, Clint Eastwood, Lance Armstrong,Martha Stewart, Frank Sinatra, Dr. Phil, Marilyn Monroe ,Ellen DeGeneres, Donald Trump, Rudolph Giuliani and RUSH LIMBAUGH to be on the list? On a famous celebrity list or those who will shape America's future, or famous athletes,or even icons, perhaps, but as one of the 100 Greatest Americans, hardly!!!

Seeing Oprah Winfrey and Rosa Parks on the same list, chills my bones. Why Bob Hope and not Will Rogers? I'm sure you have your own peeves about this.

What will be interesting is who will be chosen as the greatest American? I can only speculate.
Does George Washington or Abraham Lincoln really have a chance against "the Terminator" and "Dirty Harry"? Stay tuned.

I'm surprised

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Monday, April 18, 2005

Is a Big Age Difference Between Partners/Boyfriends Really Such a Big Deal?

I've been reading some interesting posts to various gay yahoo groups as well as a recent article in the Washington Blade,

The author finds himself in a relationship with a boyfriend 17 years younger than he is. He frets about the age difference, but sees far more similarities than differences. He uses humor to justify whether or not he should continue to "rob the cradle" or not.

For me, I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy where I was more than 12 years older. Knowing how it is being the younger guy in a relationship 12 years ago, now I wouldn't gravitate towards anyone who is younger than his mid thirties. That would be comfortable enough for me. Again this depends on so many factors. Maturity for one. I am not a babysitter. I may be a daddy, but that doesn't mean that I want to raise a "college guy" while he's still going to college.

Guys pair up with guys because of some mutual attraction, whatever it is. Relationships work because there are far more likes than dislikes. You have to click sexually, intellectually, career wise, etc. if the relationship is going to work. So if all of these elements are in place, than a big age difference of say, 12 years, as long as the guy is at least 21, won't matter much.

I know you guys out there have thoughts on the subject. When is it cradle robbing and when is it an acceptable age difference? There has to be a rainbow o f views on this topic. What works for two guys may not work for two other guys. With love in the air, anything is possible.

Friday, April 15, 2005

We Win Some, We Lose Some

After winning the right to gay civil unions in Connecticut, the Oregon Supreme Court yesterday voided sam-sex marriage licenses. As many as 3000 gay and lesbian couples were married in Multnomah County a year ago. Portland, Oregon, for a while with San Francisco, was a popular place for gay men to tie the knot. Now their marriages are nullified.

The court ruled that Oregon law ban same-sex marriages. It also noted that Oregon voters approved a constitutional amendment last November that even more explicitly prohibits same-sex marriages.

Oregon Governor Ted Kulonoski said that he would push for a low allowing gay couples to form civil unions that would give them many of the rights and priviledges of marriage.

So the score card stands, yes to same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, no everywhere else in the U.S. except for Vermont and now Connecticut, which allow civil unions for gay couples.

On another note, I am a Washington Nationals fan and yesterday they won their home opener.
I live rather far away to attend weeknight games, but I will head down there sometime later in the season to see my team play. Go Nats!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Can Gay Athletes Expect The Same Treatment from Fans as their Straight Teammates? It all Depends on how You Ask the Question.

NBC and USA Network commissioned a poll taken by Pen Schoenand Berland Associates which conducted 979 interviews among the general population from March 18-21, 2005. Some of the results will surprise you, others may not.

78 percent of those responding felt that gay athletes should participate in organized sports. Also nearly the same number felt that having an openly gay athlete doesnot hurt either the entire team or the entire sport. But almost as many, 68%, felt that it would hurt an athlete's career to be openly gay. Likewise nearly the same number felt that gay athletes are unfairly treated in both their private and professional lives. Also the same number of respondents felt that society was more accepting of gays playing in tennis or golf compared to contact sports like wrestling and boxing. You get a big hint here of the taboo gay athletes in contact sports face.

Then the next set of questions change course and the numbers are more evenly divided. For instance, they were asked if they admire an athlete who is openly gay. Only 48% said yes. The same number felt that American does need a open dialogue and discussion about homosexuality and sports. This is slightly less than half, but still is getting the public to become more comfortable with the subject. The margin gets wider, 44% for, 48% against when the question was asked, "Is it a sin to engage in homosexual behavior?" But when answering the statement, "Homosexuality is a way of life that should be accepted by society", 61% said yes, 33% said no.
Note during these types of questions, you don't get 100% responses. This margin gets even bigger when questions such as, "If ESPN created a television special on the accomplishments of gay athletes, viewers would be enraged.", 42% said yes, 22% said no. I guess some of the respondents didn't know what ESPN was.

Life style questions completed the survey. When asked, Society should not put any resrictions on sex between consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes, 77% agreed with that statement, 18% disagreed. 59% also felt that gay and lesbian couples can be as good parents as heterosexual couples. However when asked about gay marriage, 55% said that gay marriage would go against their religious beliefs. And again, when asked if it is a sin to engage in homosexual behavior, 44% said yes, 46% said no.

ALso not surprising,55% of Democrats agree that American needs to participate in an open discussion about gays in sports, while 65% of Republicans disagreed that there should be this open dialogue. Also 40% of Americans have an unfavorable opinion of gay men while only 36% have that same feeling about lesbians. Finally, 61% know a friend, colleague or family member who is gay.

How we as gay men who like sports or participate in sports are felt by Mr. and Mrs. America is somewhat surprising. When they can associate us, we get high marks. But when the question mentions the sexuality aspects of gay life, they get squeemish and tend to support gay rights less.

How do you feel about the survey? The entire survey can be found at this link:


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Gay Soldiers Fight and Die Besides "Straight" Soldiers in the American Armed Forces. Now, Let Us Honor Them Instead of Hounding Them

I have been reading more and more editorials in support of dumping the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" discrimination ban in the Armed Forces against gay men and lesbian soldiers.

Today the Washington Post came out in an editorial in favor of repealing the gay ban. It told about Army Sgt. Robert Stout who had received a Purple Heart after an exploding grenade in Iraq last May left shrapnel in his face, arm and legs. He is a brave soldier. He would have liked to remain in the military and would reenlist were it not for the "don't ask, don't tell" (DADT)policy.

Robert is through denying that he is gay and so recently declared his sexual orientation to the Associated Press. But the military doesn't care how brave and heroic he his. For under U.S. policy, even the most decorated and patriotic gay soldier is just a homosexual, to be hounded and uprooted out of the military at ther earliest convenience.

And this costs American taxpayers a lot of money. At last count, the services spent $190 million to do so, money better spent equipping the troops. The military is turning down qualified soldiers with language skills because they are gay. This is a "self-defeating, as it is demeaning to people who want to serve their county. . .", quoting the editorial.

So far 72 co-sponsors have signed on to a bill to repeal "DADT". All the sponsors hope to do is to get hearings started to expose this travesty. There is no evidence that gay soldiers undermine military discipline or perform badly. So why is there this ban?

The editorial ended with"Who dares TellSgt. Stout that he is unfit for service?"

This is a legitimate question that deserves an answer. Enough is enough. Our government has an obligation to these men and women to let them serve openly. Anything short of that is unjust and unfair treatment of these brave men and women on the part of our government.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

When Is Your Favorite Time of Day or Night to have Sex?

Being a morning person, I enjoy making the most of a beautiful sunrise having sex outdoors, especially in the summer time. During the winter, almost any time is fine. Under the toasty covers in the morning, under the hot daytime light, in the evening, in the middle of the night.
It just a spur of the moment thing.

Some guys do prefer a specific time. Some are too tired and late nights might not work. Some hate to get up or get it up in the morning, so early morning jaunts are taboo.

Being compatible is all about when the guy enjoys his playtime. If guys work different times of day, than that can put a crunch on the sex life. Getting things and urges in synch is the key to great sex.

So when is the optimal time for you? Does it really depend on the time of day or when you are the most horny or least tired? We guys have different body moods and some times may be better than others. I guess it all depends on the individual, the opportunity and the circumstances. Big hairy muscle hugs. Now that's the way I like it, unhuh, unhuh.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Not As If It Matters Much. . .A Great Debate Wages On. When and Where Did the Gay Rights Movement Begin in the U.S.?

If we believe Philadelphia Gay Rights advocates, the Gay Rights Movement began on July 4, 1965 when 40 gay men and lesbians protested for equal rights by marching on Independence Hall, all the men wearing suites and ties and all the women wearing dresses and heels. Despite warnings that they would be "beaten up", the protest was peaceful except for some shouts from onlookers.

These men and women were leader of the Mattachne Society, lead by lengendary gay activist, Frank Kameny. He recalls the rally, saying, "Without this demonstration, Stonewall would not have taken place." "We created the mind-set for the expression of dissent."

The Pennsylvania Historical and Museum Committee supports the significance of the event. It recently approved the placement of a state historical marker near Independence Hll, naming the area as the launching pad for gay rights.

But our old friend Martin Duberman, the author of "Stonewall" says that neither of the two 60's events owns the bragging rights. He claims that the movement dates back to a group formed in the 1920's. He further states, "There's enough credit to go around on this. Ther's no need to claim that 'we were the firs, or the best of the greatest'". Or the gayest.

If we're looking for the gayest, I'm betting that Stonewall with its angry drag queens would win hands and heels down.

Duberman also said, "No matter where you were, it took a lot of courage to start a demonstration or to speak out." In these prehistoric times of gay rights, these demonstrators were risking punishment and feared losing their jobs.

No matter where the movement started, these heroic men and women have paved the way for what rights and freedoms we enjoy today. But while they laid the foundation, there is so much more work to do.

They didn't have the internet or the blog as a platform like we do today. We as gay men, can make a difference in our own way by establishing dialog and getting our issues heard. By writing to our elected officials, getting involved in local and state movements, we can make a difference.

Just in our daily lives, we can make a difference by example. These brave men and women may have fought the early battles, but we're here as replacements to win the war for equality.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Gay Men LIke to Blog and Have an Immense Apppetite for all things cable and online

Not surprising, a recent survey of 2630 US adults found that 62 percent of gay men and lesbians love to watch alternative programming on cable. Also 66 percent of gays and lesbians love to go online and 27 percent of GLB adults blog.

While we are not fond of music magazines and their web sits, we really like to blog. 28 percent responding blog either frequently or occasionally. Since this survey was taken last year, I am guessing that even more gay men are blogging than ever before.

Why do we blog? First off, it gives us the freedom and the platform to express ourselves, even expose our loves, hates, fears, etc. It gives us a forum where we can meet like minded individuals who share common interests and desires. It teaches us discipline. We can do this in a sitting position. Some of us bare our souls and ourselves in a way we couldn't do face to face in conversation.

For some of us, it is a liberating feeling. For others, it is a place to brag about our exploits, to gossip, to share information and news, to get our points across.

Whatever it is for you, I appreciate your acceptance of me and my blog into this vast online community of proud and gay men. It is here that we can make a difference, have some fun, get to know one another. We can exchange WOOFS and even cruise. It is fun and it is meaningful.

Let me know why you got started blogging. I have met a lot of really cool guyz blogging. You are the men who shape public opinion today. Thanks for sharing your lives with me. You are the best.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Gay Men Organize Their Battle Against Crystal Methamphetamine

I've been expressing in various posts to this blog the seriousness of Meth Addiction among gay men. Well, there has been a concerted effort on some fronts to combat this addiction and its link to HIV.

The Associated Press ran an article over the weekend on this subject. According to the writer, David Crary, in the bigger cities such as New York, Chicago, San Francisco and LA, there are Meth Anonymous support groups having attendence of more than 100 guys who are struggling with this addiction.

On a recent Friday evening at the New York group, the evening's speaker, a former flight attendent celebrating one year off meth, riveted the audience with his account of his unhappy childhood, "his descent into prolonged addition, his years as a hustler getting paid for sex, where he contacted HIV and other diseases".

Since gay men have different opinions on what makes them feel good during sex, the program offers alternative counseling to the "cold turkey" method. It's called "harm reduction" whick cautions the user about meth's risks while advising addicts who can't quit to avoid overdoses, take care of their health, and while high, engage in safer sex using a condom.

One gay psychotherapist was quoted as saying, "At some point, when Friday night comes along, they don't know what else to do." What seemingly was thought to be a recreation drug has turn monster and has become an addiction.

Some argue against all the hype, saying that the rest of the world is now believing that gay men are having promiscuous sex, with out of control behavior. Such belief, may not be so far off base.
According to the article, it is estimated that as many as 10 to 20 percent of gay men use meth, and the usage maybe as high as 40 percent in San Francisco.

Another NY psychologist who specializes in the study of HIV/AIDS and drugs believes that the cause of meth addiction for many gay men is not sex or partying, but deeper problems of siolation and low self esteem, particularly if they are HIV positive. There may be some truth to that. These guys feel that their lives have been shorten, particularly in their prime active years, and want to go out in a blaze of glory, not giving a fuck about the other guys they infect, particularly HIV-negative men.

Experts also say that many men in the HIV-positive category are experincing "safe-sex Fatique". They are tired of using condoms and the cocktail to contain their HIV and are "lifted" by meth to forget their difficulties and engage in unsafe sex.

Jay Laudato, director of the Callen-Lorde health center which serves the NY gay community says, "Safer sex is not everybody's idea of a good time." Well that opinion got to change. This continual usage of meth at circuit parties and other events makes the idea of having a good time something like playing russian roulette. It scares other guys and for others, influences their judgement and makes them prone to meth usage and getting HIV.

But the effects of using meth aren't pretty. The guys who already have HIV and are using meth look like they are waisting away. So if they were pumped up because of steroid use, etc, the meth now conteracts that, and they look like guys who were dying 15 years ago.

Safer sex advocates want to target the young men who are arriving in the big cities and send out the message that meth isn't cool and it can lead to HIV because it inhibits the gay men to engage in unsafe sex.

So what to do. Some feel that engaging the porn community might help. If someone would emerge as a poster boy for hot safer sex, I think that might work.

We as gay men, can set examples ourselves by writing about this problem in our blogs and offering hot sex examples for these guys to follow.

While it may take more than big hairy muscle hugs and body food foreplay, this might just be the start of a new scene which promotes hot safer, erotic sex, the real drug that can combat the spread of HIV among sexually active gay men.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Can Gay Men Expect Any Positive Changes In Their Lives With the Election of a New Pope?

With the death of Pope John Paul II, the Catholic Church through the College of Cardinals will be electing a new pope. It's anyone's guess now as to who will be the new pope. But we can speculate and also debate if gay men's lives will change with this change in the Catholic Church's leadership.

Gay men have always had a role in religion, back to the beginning of time. While this role has not been always recognized, gay men have sought solitude in religious life. That will continue.

If we feel that anything is possible, then the best we could hope for as gay men is the toning down of the rhetoric against gay lifestyle and at least, not being so mean spirited and condemning of gay marriage.

If the Catholic Church wants to establish closer ties with the Episcopal Church, it might have to rethink its doctrine on homosexuality. Bishop Gene Robinson has established the acceptance of openly gay men in the clergy. While his appointment has been very controversial, it has opened dialogue on the issue and has brought gay marriage in the forefront.

Gay men have continued to work both inside and outside organized religion by forming their own groups such as Dignity and Integrity. These groups have enabled gay men to embrace their religion and do so inspite of discrimination. You might have read a story about an openly Gay man who was initially refused a Catholic burial. He finally did get buried in a Catholic cemetery, but again, there was controversy.

In our own way, we can make change happen in the coming weeks and months and years. When our rights to marry are recognized, it will be only a matter of time before some organized religions allow us to have our marriages recognized religiously, if we want.

These next coming weeks will be interesting. I am sure we will be discussing this issue again.

Friday, April 01, 2005

What a Nasty Day to Have a Wicked Wit

Gay men are know for their biting wit. For centuries, gay men used their sharp tongues as a weapon for some nasty humor. I don't know if a gay man invented "April Fools Day", but I think gay men have somehow contributed to the rituals of this day.

In doing some research for this blog post, I came across an old post on Badpuppy. Jack Nichols wrote an interestng essay on Martin Duberman, the sometimes noted gay historian. He's most famous for his autobiographies, "CURES" and " Midlife Queer". He is one prolific writing queen.

Nichols writes that Duberman believes in outing so much that he feels that the strive for celebrity "surrender(s) a portion of a person's privacy". Just think of Jeff Gannon's 15 minutes of fame.

This dude, Duberman is one sick puppy. In this book, "CURES", he describes how he went home after a therapy session, dunked "his penis in a glass of warm water, taking seriously his doctor's bogus advice on how to remove herpes" and walked around like that for hours at a time. This from a man who has a PH.D from Harvard.

So, don't become the butt of someone's joke today. There are enough strange people in this world to make fun of themselves naturally. If Paul Lynde were alive today, he probably be wise cracking about always being the bridesmaid and never the bride. Glad we don't have to hear or see that.

By the way, I really think you guys really have cute butts. No April fooling about that.