Buff's Tufftalk

Happy Daddy's Day

2010-06-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

Wishing all my buds a very Happy Daddy's Day. Remember all that he does for you everyday throughout the year.

So bring him his slippers, give him some lovin, and allow him to chill out and enjoy his day.

WOOF

Baby Steps, but Now We Have Hospital Visitation Rights

2010-04-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

A long time coming but now we have hospital visitation rights. This is definitely a step in the right direction.

Washington Post Friday, April 16, 2010

President Obama mandated Thursday that nearly all hospitals extend visitation rights to the partners of gay men and lesbians and respect patients' choices about who may make critical health-care decisions for them, perhaps the most significant step so far in his efforts to expand the rights of gay Americans.

The president directed the Department of Health and Human Services to prohibit discrimination in hospital visitation in a memo that was e-mailed to reporters Thursday night while he was at a fundraiser in Miami.

Administration officials and gay activists, who have been quietly working together on the issue, said the new rule will affect any hospital that receives Medicare or Medicaid funding, a move that covers the vast majority of the nation's health-care institutions. Obama's order will start a rule-making process at HHS that could take several months, officials said.

Hospitals often bar visitors who are not related to an incapacitated patient by blood or marriage, and gay rights activists say many do not respect same-sex couples' efforts to designate a partner to make medical decisions for them if they are seriously ill or injured.

"Discrimination touches every facet of the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, including at times of crisis and illness, when we need our loved ones with us more than ever," Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, said in a statement praising the president's decision.

Obama's mandate is the latest attempt by his administration to advance the agenda of a constituency that strongly supported his presidential campaign.

In his first 15 months in office, he has hailed the passage of hate crime legislation and held the first Gay Pride Day celebration at the White House. Last month, Obama's top military and defense officials testified before Congress in favor of repealing of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for gays in the armed forces.

But the moves have been too slow for some gay rights activists, who have urged the president to be more vocal and active in championing their causes. John Aravosis, a prominent gay blogger, wrote last October that Obama's "track record on keeping his gay promises has been fairly abominable."

Other gay rights activists have defended the administration, while at the same time pushing Congress to act on broader issues such as passage of an employment non-discrimination act and an end to the ban on gays serving openly in the military.

"We see this as part of our ongoing effort to encourage the administration to take action where it has the authority to act," said David Smith, a Human Rights Campaign spokesman. "We've been working and pressing the administration on our legislative agenda. That work continues."
Gay activists have argued for years that recognizing same-sex marriage would ease the stress associated with not being able to visit hospitalized partners.

But opponents of same-sex marriage have called the visitation issue a red herring, arguing that advocates want to provide special rights for gays that other Americans do not have. A spokesman for one group said the president's move was part of a broader effort to appease gays and to undermine the institution of marriage.

I Think It's Time To Retire Dame Edna

2010-04-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

All good things must come to an end and I'm afraid Dame Edna Everage's campy humor has reached the final curtain. So who do you think should replace Dame Edna, or is this kind of humor dead?

Dame Edna Everage - Everage And Feinstein's Broadway Flop To Close

Dame Edna Everage Gallery

Caption: Dame Edna Everage (Picture) DAME EDNA Everage And Feinstein's Broadway Flop To Close

DAME EDNA EVERAGE and cabaret star MICHAEL FEINSTEIN's stint on Broadway is coming to an early end - the revue is to close less than two weeks after its official opening.

It's All About Me stars Australian entertainer Barry Humphries as his drag queen alter-ego Everage singing a collection of show tunes with musician/composer Feinstein in what was expected to be a hot ticket.

Previews began on 6 March (10), but the pair has failed to win over critics and Broadway audiences and producers will bring the curtain down for the final time on 4 April (10).
The two-man show opened at Henry Miller's Theatre on 23 March (10).

Happy Hoppy Easter and the Lowdown on Heavage

2010-04-04T05:45:00.001-07:00

It's definitely been a while since I posted. Sorry about that.

Here's something of interest to the group. A fluff piece, but something to ponder.

Male cleavage -- it s a good idea whose time has come by Tony Hicks

I AM NOT a fashion writer. I'm a man who selects his clothes each morning based on the meticulous scientific methods known as MSV (Minimal Spot Visibility). But even I recognize a man who picks his shirts based on loving his own heavage.There didn't used to be a term for heavage, which is a lot like cleavage, only men don't break out in a cold sweat trying not to stare at it. They used to simply call it Burt Reynolds wearing a shirt. Or David Hasselhoff going out on the town. Or Tom Jones doing "... anything.Now we have a term for it. Even the stately Wall Street Journal knows heavage (although they use many more words to describe it than "man-boobs.")"Man cleavage — plunging necklines slit open to reveal chest hair, pectoral muscles, maybe more — is back.

Until recently, male decolletage was an androgynous fashion affectation limited mainly to sporadic appearances on European runways. But the look, including deep V-necks and scoop-neck tops, hit the U.S. in full force at New York's September Fashion Week, turning up at shows by Duckie Brown, Michael Bastian and Yigal Azrouel."Right. What they said. Decolletage and whatnot.So apparently it's not just crazy Russell Brand or Bradley Cooper showing up at a premiere with their shirts unbuttoned to their navels. It's not just Matthew McConaughey at the grocery store. It's not just Bret Michaels "... being Bret Michaels.

For example, I just discovered women get on the Internet to discuss the various heavage (heavages?) of the guys on "The Vampire Diaries." And my first reaction was "Does anyone remember when vampires — being dead and all — didn't look like they had personal trainers? The fall runway shows — which, as you know, I make a point of attending every year — displayed plunging male necklines. As the Journal reported, "The styles were more blatantly sexual and the models had more studly swagger."Let men be men

Who doesn't love studly swagger? Seriously. One time I almost named my band "Studly Swagger." It's about time. Haven't we had enough of these anemic-looking skinny boys, who weigh as much as my left calf, passing themselves off as examples of real men?I'll be honest. The women in my department decided someone should write about this heavage thing. They laughed about it. They chose me because they thought I would make fun of it. I'm not laughing. Not on your life.

In fact, I'm doing push-ups as I type. I've been to Tom Jones concerts, where underwear falls like Seattle drizzle. I heard the women — OK, and some men — screaming what they wanted to do to David Lee Roth at Van Halen concerts (and that was just last year, when about half the females had AARP cards in their wallets). I remember the women crying in the streets when news broke that Ricky Martin was gay.

Don't obsess, guysAlthough it's not often discussed, men measure each other by such things (chest size — not what they think of Ricky Martin). If you've never looked at another man and wondered if he could bench press more than you, you might not really be a man. It's why so many non-athletes who spend a lot of the time at the gym look like stuffed chickens. They only work their chest because that's the status thing.

And that's a problem. I'm all for heavage, but with conditions. Heavage should be an organic thing that comes with development of an overall healthy body. But some men, from what I read, are taking way too much time with this concept, shaving or waxing their chest, going to tanning booths, writing columns while doing one-armed push-ups — it's just too much. (This is a sin against nature. NEVER, NEVER ATTEMPT to WAX CHEST HAIR)

Heavage could be a good thing. But paying that much attention to it is not a good thing. Respectable heavage should come as a by-product of something else — like chopping wood. Or wrestling polar bears. Or writing moderately amusing columns for a decent-sized newspaper. When it comes to presenting or preparing one's heavage, a man should do I do in times of great stress. Ask yourself: "What would William Shatner do?"

Which sometimes gets you funny looks when you say it too loud in public. But it works. So if you got it, go ahead — unbutton those couple of top buttons. And if you don't, go back to work and forget it. Next year's fashion will probably have everyone buttoned up to their foreheads anyway.

Not Too Early To Think About Daddy Santa's Visit

2009-12-04T04:51:00.000-08:00

Recently the gay publication, Metro Weekly interviewed the famous filmmaker, writer, producer John Waters, a native of Baltimore, about his feelings towards the Christmas holiday. His humorous observations are listed below.

Is Christmas a gay holiday?
MW: Is Christmas a gay holiday in your estimation?
WATERS: Well, it can be, certainly. Is Santa erotic? That is a question with the bear movement. Is he a silver fox? Is he a bear? But at the same time, is asking an overweight person to play Santa Claus at your office party an insult? And it is. It's the "fattist" thing to do. Divine's mother always made him be Santa Claus, so I think he was Santabused.
MW: I've never really pondered the idea of whether or not Santa was erotic.
WATERS: It's a complicated question: Is Santa erotic? Suppose you are attracted to Santa -- does that make you a Santa hag? Can you have sex in a chimney? Are you a flue queen? There are all sorts of possibilities that I talk about.

I do think Daddy Santa is a furry, fuzzy muscle bear. And he's extra generous to all the guys who are naughty but nice during the year. WOOF

Also I thought I'd repost one of my tributes to Daddy Santa from several years ago. Hope you enjoy it.

Monday, December 12, 2005

What's On Your List to Ask Daddy Santa For This Year?
As you can see, this Daddy Santa helper is not one of the brightest bulbs on the light string set, but he's got his heart in the right place, he's hunky, and is ready to make sure you get from Daddy Santa what you have written on his list.For me, walking steady with a cane would make me very happy. Also getting my strength back and being able to lift weights and be able to do stomach crunches and pull ups again, would make feel almost like my previous self once more.You guys have helped me very much so far. I will always remember that.So don't be shy. Daddy Santa isn't a mind reader. But since I've worked with him in the past, I know that he always makes a supreme effort to reward really good and sexy gay boys and men with pleasures that will be welcomed and enjoyed over and over again. Like big hairy muscle hugs, you can never get enough

Hairy Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T07:31:00.001-07:00

Have a safe and Happy Halloween. WOOF

Brian Brown, our charming foe. He attacks our right to love, our right to marry, with a smile. NOM must not prevail, ever.

2009-08-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

This guy is a slick as a snake oil salesman. His group has moved to DC to make their cause, banning same-sex marriage, a national rallying cry. They are hell bent to stop gay rights and same-sex marriage in the halls of Congress, the National Mall, any where they can.

NOM Head Moves His Cause to D.C.

Brian Brown, executive director of the National Organization for Marriage, with wife Sue. Of gays marrying, Sue says she initially thought, "What's the big deal if they do?" (By Tracy A. Woodward -- The Washington Post)Yahoo! Buzz

By Monica HesseWashington Post Staff Writer Friday, August 28, 2009

The nightmares of gay marriage supporters are the Pat Robertsons of the world. The James Dobsons, the John Hagees -- the people who specialize in whipping crowds into frothy frenzies, who say things like Katrina was caused by the gays.

The gay marriage supporters have not met Brian Brown. They should. He might be more worth knowing about.

Brown is the executive director of the National Organization for Marriage, the preeminent organization dedicated to preventing the legalization of same-sex marriage. For two years, Brown has been traveling across the country. He moved his wife and six kids to California, where NOM was instrumental in passing Proposition 8, the state constitutional amendment defining marriage as an institution only between a man and a woman. Before that, Connecticut, where his cause was hurt when the state Supreme Court legalized gay marriage.

It was NOM that Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean went to shortly after her infamous "opposite marriage" pageant answer. "Gathering Storm," the much-YouTubed announcement in which actors discussed how gay marriage would negatively affect their freedom of religion? That was NOM.

Now NOM is moving its national headquarters to Washington.

The thing about the John Hagees and the Pat Robertsons is that some people consider them "fringe." And when they speechify, the people they're most persuasive with are the ones who already believe them.

But this country is not made up of people in the far wings, right or left. This country is made up of a movable middle, reasonable people looking for reasonable arguments to assure them that their feelings have a rational basis.

Brian Brown speaks to these people. He has a master's degree from Oxford, and completed course work for a doctorate in history from UCLA. He shoulders the accusations of bigotry; it's horrible when people say that your life's mission is actually just prejudice. He tries to help people see that opposing gay marriage does not make them bigots, that the argument should have nothing to do with hate or fear, and everything to do with history and tradition.
The reason Brian Brown is so effective is that he is pleasantly, ruthlessly sane.

"The Human Rights Campaign is massive," Brown says, referring to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocacy group.

Brown sits at the nearly empty desk in a nearly empty room -- the H Street NW office space NOM has sublet until the organization finds its own building and moves its staff down from Philadelphia. He is 35, red hair, solidly built, wearing a crisp blue shirt with a white collar. Instantly likable. He's a thoughtful talker, especially when discussing his "opposition," such as the HRC. "They were ahead of the curve but . . . I didn't see any reason why we couldn't do the same thing."

The same thing -- large, well-publicized, well-organized campaigns -- for different purposes. In the world of activism, what works for one side can work for the other. In the two years since its formation, NOM has become a leader in the fight against gay marriage, which Brown calls "the issue of the decade."

"Brian has been the foremost grass-roots leader who has been involved in the marriage debate," says Chuck Donovan, a senior vice president at the conservative Family Research Council. "He's one of the more effective leaders out there."

NOM's campaigns have had missteps. "Gathering Storm," with its melodramatic dialogue and fake lightning, prompted parodies as much as panic; one New York Times columnist called it " 'Village of the Damned' meets 'A Chorus Line' " for its instant camp value. Two Million for Marriage, the organization's push to rally online activists around the country, was similarly unfortunate: Apparently no one at NOM had realized that 2M4M, the hip-sounding tag they'd chosen for the initiative, is also the abbreviation favored by gay couples looking for a threesome.
Brown has been undaunted. Along with NOM President Maggie Gallagher, who lives in New York, he keeps putting out or starting up fires. He raises money. He organizes phone drives. He sits in the empty Washington digs and cheerfully takes conference calls about whom NOM should hire for an Iowa position ("I haven't had good luck with the Heritage job bank, but that doesn't mean anything"). He sends out regular e-mail updates to NOM's mailing list, conveying his excitement on the issues with exclamation points. Some pro-gay marriage activists then get hold of these e-mails and mock them.

But his more informed opponents know that scoffing is a response born of fear.
"You have to take them seriously," says Peter Montgomery, a senior fellow for the liberal People for the American Way. "They've raised a tremendous amount of money that they're funneling into various states. They're mostly responsible for putting the Maine veto on the bill."
Brown is confident that if people hear his message, they will believe it. "People already believe it," he says, "but the issue is so deep-seated that they've never had to create an argument for it. Now we have to give people the language to do that." Create talking points. Help them see.
On NOM's Web site, printable PDFs show visitors how to explain their position. "Why Marriage Matters" comes in versions for different religions: Protestant (Spanish and English), Catholic (Spanish and English) and Jewish.

Avoid the phrase "ban gay marriage," the talking points suggest, adding that opponents "know it causes us to lose about ten percentage points in polls. Don't use it. Say we're against 'redefining marriage' or in favor of 'marriage as the union of husband and wife' NEVER 'banning same-sex marriage.' " Bishop Harry Jackson, the Beltsville pastor who has been one of the most vocal gay marriage opponents in the area, sees a happy partnership between his followers and Brown's group. Jackson says Brown and NOM "have a sense of dignity about human beings. They simply believe that marriage between a man and a woman is the best for society. But they're not gay bashers."

"I believe," Brown says, "that there's a clear purpose to what I'm doing."

Is it possible, in 2009, to avoid the title of "gay basher" while dedicating your life to preventing a portion of the population from participating in a legal process allowed to other people? Does bashing require blows and slurs? Will those who oppose same-sex marriage eventually be put by their opponents into the same pile as people who think interracial marriage should be banned?
Brown worries about that, about being squeezed out of the debate.

"The racial bigot comparison is the most troubling part of the argument," Brown says. It's horrible, offensive, deliberately incendiary. He thinks it is "irrational," a word he uses often.
It is irrational when the opposition points to polls suggesting that most young people support gay marriage. "People mature," he says. Their views change.

It is irrational when people believe that the legalization of same-sex marriage is an inevitability: "We have the people. We have not had such an organized force" before, Brown says.
Brown is Catholic. He converted at Oxford, where he studied after a BA at Whittier College (he grew up surfing in California). He liked Catholicism's traditions of social justice and work for the poor. Along the way, he met Sue, also a devout Catholic. After UCLA he accepted a position with the Family Institute of Connecticut, and worked to prevent the distribution of condoms in schools. "People would ask, 'What does your husband do?' " Sue says. "It was embarrassing to say he worked on condoms. But it was nothing compared to this."

His faith is important to him, but in his arguments he is ever the PhD candidate, addressing questions and dismissing counterarguments with fascination.

"I have gay people who are friends and family," he says. "We can disagree on all sorts of things and still care about each other." And later, "Of course, I have to take their arguments seriously. This issue is important. Ideas have consequences."

He takes nothing personally. He means nothing personal. He is never accusatory or belittling. His arguments are based on his understandings of history, not on messages from God that gays caused Hurricane Katrina.

In short: The institution of marriage has always been between a man and a woman. Yes, there have been homosexual relationships. But no society that he knows of, in the history of the world, has ever condoned same-sex marriage. "Do they always agree on the number of partners? Do they always agree on the form of monogamy? No," Brown says, but they've all agreed on the gender issue. It's what's best for families, he says. It's the union that can biologically produce children, he says. It's all about the way things have always been done. He chose his new church, St. Catherine of Siena, because it still offers a Latin Mass. Other noted conservatives have been parishioners there; Antonin Scalia has worshiped at St. Catherine's.

"I think it's irrational that up until 10 years ago, all of these societies agreed with my position" on same-sex marriage, he says, and now suddenly that position is bigotry. "The opposition is trying to marginalize and suppress us," he says. "Usually, that happens with positions that are actually minorities. But we're the majority."

Does he ever think that what he sees as an abrupt historical shift is, perhaps, progress? Does it hurt his feelings when people accuse him of prejudice?

"I think," he says, "it's irrational."

When Brown came from California a few months ago, the family moved into a comfortable house in Great Falls, surrounded by trees. His children are precocious and sweet; his wife is gracious and funny.

Sue Brown had never really thought about same-sex marriage until she met Brian. "Obviously, I always realized there were gay people," she says one Friday morning, sitting in the still-sparsely furnished living room. "But I didn't think about them wanting to get married." And once she did: "Initially, I probably thought, well, what's the big deal if they do? What does it have to do with me?"

When she and Brian got engaged, she envisioned normal family life, both of them returning from their jobs -- she was a high school English teacher -- and having family dinner. Now, while he's crusading, she deals with home-schooling the older children and caring for the younger. It hasn't been easy.

"Connecticut was really hard," she says. In Connecticut, they lived on a street with two sets of lesbian parents. One summer a mutual acquaintance threw a neighborhood party. Brian wasn't invited at all, and Sue's invitation came with a note: "We know what Brian does. If your views are not the same, you can come to the party." Sue stayed home.

"I get how [gays and lesbians] feel," she says. "I get that."

She's pictured what it might be like to be on the other side of this debate. "I know many awesome women, and I've thought about what if I got together with one of them" and tried to raise a family.

She has thought through it. She supports her husband. "I can only go by my own experience, and I believe there's a huge difference in gender." The kids don't need Brian "walking in the door because he's another person. They need him because he's a man."

They haven't made a lot of friends here so far. He works endless hours and so does she. Sue starts off by telling people that he's the director of a nonprofit group. If they ask for more information, she tells them it's a nonprofit dedicated to preserving marriage. And then, of course, they ask her about his position on gay marriage. Whether he's for it or against it.

Brian has come into the room. He's late for a conference call and trying to get out the door.
"What time will you be home tonight?" Sue asks.
"Ahhhh . . . "
"Six."
"Well . . . "
"Six. Just say it and do it. Six."

He doesn't quite agree, but he doesn't disagree, either. And then he's out the door, going off to quietly crusade for the hearts and minds of people who, like Brown, pride themselves on being rational, mainstream and sane.

This guy is a wolf in sheep's clothing. He cares not for the loving bond between two people who love each other of the same-sex. He just wants us to remain second class citizens, who, in this country, teach its children, make it beautiful, pay a substantial tax penalty even though we live in same-sex households every time we file our income taxes, preserve the nation's treasures, fight its wars, design its monuments, feed its people, and nurse its ill back to health.

We are, in fact, indentured servants to society, if you will, without the rights and privileges of marriage.

He and his kind like the status quo just fine. As long as we are denied marriage, we are forever subservant to the married class, the truly privledged class in this country.

We have to fight with words, with actions, with Mega hairy muscle hugs!

Don't cave into the Manscape craze. Dump the Razor, dudes and stay naturally Hairy

2009-07-18T06:07:00.000-07:00

I realize that there are more pressing issues in the world today, but when it comes to shaving body hair, that, to me, is an issue worth discussing.

I love male body hair. I am hairy and I want to see other guys embrace what God has given them.

Say NO to the urge to shave and cream away body hair. Take a manly stance.

Mega HAIRY muscle hugs of camaraderie and hirsute bonding. We hairy guys need to stick together.

Men are going hairless in increasing numbers

12:00 AM CDT on Monday, July 13, 2009

By CATHERINE SAINT LOUIS New York Times News Service

American women didn't shave their armpits en masse until the 1920s, after a storm of sleeveless dresses and advertising by depilatory makers that characterized underarm hair as ugly.

By the 1930s, beauty writers scolded women with forests of leg hair under their silk stockings. Decades later, girls coming of age no longer needed to be told their leg hair was unsightly. They got rid of it.

Can the same thing happen with men?

These days, the hair on men's chests, backs, armpits and even "down there" has become suspect – if you believe the marketing campaigns. Several recent online videos created by brands such as Gillette recast body-hair removal as the domain of average Joes.

Having a chest as smooth as Matthew McConaughey's is old hat for competitive swimmers, urbane metrosexuals and some gay men. To play Brüno, a gay fashion reporter who favors hot pants, the formerly hirsute Sacha Baron Cohen endured repeated waxathons.

But evidence from market research and academia indicates that more men are removing body hair. The phenomenon skews to mostly college-age guys or those in their 30s. Reasons run the gamut from Because My Girlfriend Likes It to a desire to flaunt a six-pack or be clean.

"It used to be a hallmark of male models and homosexuals," said Kat Fay, a senior analyst at Mintel, who writes an annual men's grooming report. She added that the high-maintenance primping of metrosexuals was clustered in cities; by contrast, this campaign has "more of an everyday middle-America feel."

Little research has been done on male body depilation. Michael Boroughs, a psychology graduate student at the University of South Florida, has done studies that showed that more than 80 percent of men surveyed at the school use some sort of body depilation. Numbers were similar for gay and straight men.

Unsurprisingly, the loudest voices making the case for so-called manscaping are the creators of shaving gear. What may surprise, however, is how candid the "manscaping" pitches are.

In May, Gillette started a series of videos online suggesting that men go further with body shaving. The rationale varied by part.

Chest? "A sweater should be bought not grown."
Armpits? "An empty stable smells better than a full one."

And their coup de grâce is the groin: "Trees look taller when there's no underbrush."

A muscular cartoon with pixeled privates even shows how to get bare without putting "your equipment at risk."

On the site for Nivea for Men, Jislain Duval, a Canadian model, demonstrates its Active3 shower gel by shaving starlike patterns around his nipples. As he gazes at his private parts, the camera stays waist-up; yet, the scene doesn't leave much to the imagination.

A comely blonde turns feral at the sight of a cleanshaven chest in a video ad for Braun's BodycruZer, a precision trimmer with a Gillette blade.

In late May, Gillette's How to Shave Your Groin video ranked No. 3 on a list of the top online video advertisements compiled by Visible Measures, an Internet video measurement firm.

Showing men removing their body hair normalizes it. "Just having a video that's not threatening is helping them say it's fine," said Nicolas Maurer, the vice president for marketing at Beiersdorf USA, of which Nivea is a brand. "That's a kind of reassurance for guys."

Yet, do women prefer their men sleek? Not necessarily. Hairless armpits can be a deal breaker, which is odd, because those female naysayers may shave their underarms. Constant YouTube presence Asbellgrad commented about a Gillette video: "Trust me, a girl is turned off by a man who shaves his armpits. It's kind of weird and creepy. Unless you're an Olympic swimmer."

Plenty of female commenters online dislike suitors with less body hair than they have. As Eleanorxjane wrote about a chest-shaving video on YouTube, "I want a real man, not one that's trying to look like he's 12 again!"

Having hair on one's chest – as the expression suggests – signals maturity and boldness. Think Hugh Jackman.

Will today's minority of men engaging in body shaving one day be the majority? Boroughs thinks we are on our way. He has heard from bewildered parents whose teenage sons shaved their chests and ended up with ingrown hairs. In the future, Boroughs wonders, "Are prepubescent boys going to feel pressure to shave like girls do?"

Happy Daddy's Day

2009-06-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

Gay pride month and Daddy's Day, two important celebrations of men who we love and who we admire.

Mega hairy muscle hugs wishing you the best Gay Pride month and Daddy's Day ever!!!

Being a gay porn star, definitely a NO NO at conservative Christian Grove City College

2009-05-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

I guess separating John Gechter from his alter ego, Vincent DeSalvo, a humpy fuck bud in porn flicks, was difficult at best for several years, but now the truth be told, they are one in the same.

The money was definitely good, but the risk proved to be too much at the end. Exposed and in the public eye, John could only now wish that this attention dies down. It will, but it will be hard for a while.

We all wish John the best. Bad luck just sucks some times.

This is what Randy Blue writes about this hot porn stud:

Vincent is one of those rare guys who just fell into my lap. Literally. I was hanging at the beach with a friend of mine and we just happened to set up our blanket near a bunch of hot guys playing volleyball. We figured it was a perfect spot to take in the scenery… and I guess there was an ocean there, too. There was one guy who caught my eye. His body was absolutely incredible, with a huge bulge in his tight shorts and sweat creating a light sheen over his gorgeous smooth musculature. He laughed a lot throughout the game and when he did he radiated a playfulness that made me think he would be a lot of fun to mess around with. Then, all of a sudden, this this handsome hunk dove for a ball and ended up landing right in the middle of our blanket. Luckily he was unharmed and when he got up he chuckled, apologized and smiled this blinding white, joyful smile.

His name was Vincent DeSalvo and after the game I had to find out more about him. He said he loved the outdoors and his sexy body came from all the athletic activities he enjoyed. I told him what I did for a living and asked if he had ever done any modeling. He said that while he hadn’t modeled before he had been a go-go boy. Then he got this contemplative look on his face for just a moment, then flashed that adorable smile at me and said, ‘hey, I could model for you, right?’ I didn’t really need more than that, I made an appointment and he came in. He has such an innocent look about him that I wasn’t prepared for his bad boy side to emerge. He went from his sweet smile to spitting in his hand to lube his dick with and finger fucking himself while moaning like a bitch in heat. And when he came you could hear it in the next county! Vincent has it all, good looks, a great body and an incredible sexual energy.

But this zealous endorsement has left Grove City College officials stirring in their shoes.

Grove City takes a dim view of student porn star

Friday, May 08, 2009
By Anya Sostek, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

If everything had gone according to plan, John Gechter would have been studying yesterday for a final exam -- one of his last obligations before graduating from Grove City College with a degree in molecular biology.

Instead, he was preparing for an underwear modeling contest last night in New York City.

It's been a tough couple of weeks for Mr. Gechter, who has learned the hard way what happens when you try to use a gay porn career to finance your education at one of America's most conservative Christian colleges.

For the past two years, Mr. Gechter has been paying the bills through his secret life as porn star "Vincent DeSalvo," earning as much as $11,000 per weekend while jetting off to Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles to film more than a dozen videos.

He did so without telling a soul on the 2,300-student campus in Mercer County, not even his roommate of two years.

PG poll
Was the punishment handed down to John Gechter by Grove City College justified? Vote in our poll.

"Porn enabled me to finish school," said the 22-year-old from Reading, Berks County. "Instead of working 40 hours a week as a busboy or a waiter, you do a scene and then you have time to concentrate on schoolwork."

But on April 23, a fellow student found Mr. Gechter's ample body of work on the Internet and forwarded evidence of his secret identity to friends. By the next day, Mr. Gechter estimated that the e-mail had reached two-thirds of the student population -- and he'd landed in a meeting with administrators.

Grove City College promotes itself as "Authentically Christian" and requires students to attend at least 16 chapel services per semester. It prides itslef on its conservative heritage and notes on its Web site that the Young America's Foundation recognized it as one of the Top Ten conservative colleges in the U.S.

The school's student handbook clearly states that "premarital sex, heterosexual or homosexual, or any other such conduct that violates historical Christian standards" is subject to disciplinary action.

Mr. Gechter was charged with sexual misconduct, participation in the public display of pornography and engaging in "conduct that is contrary to the mission and values of Grove City College and likely to bring dishonor to the College."

His punishment: an indefinite suspension and a prohibition from re-applying for admission until the fall of 2010. A Grove City appeals board turned down his initial appeal.

Mr. Gechter had been warned by his mentors and employers in the adult film industry that his identity would likely become known. And he had been careful to keep his adult film career away from campus. Still, he hadn't expected that it might prevent him from graduating.

"I was prepared to be recognized," he said. "I was not prepared for the school to react the way they did."

Grove City released a statement yesterday but declined any further comment.

"The student's suspension resulted from his involvement in the adult pornography industry. The student acknowledged that he was employed in the adult entertainment industry and that he knew that violated the student code of conduct. Throughout this process, his sexual orientation was not a factor in the decision."

Mr. Gechter says he is bisexual.

Though he still has one appeal pending with the provost, he has officially withdrawn from the school. He says he's received nearly 200 "hate mail" e-mails from other students and has even been pelted with fruit salad in the cafeteria.

He hopes to complete the remaining two classes that he needs to graduate elsewhere. But his plans to enroll next year in a master's program in kinesiology at the University of Miami are now on hold.

Ironically, Mr. Gechter ended up at Grove City College in the first place because of the generous financial aid package awarded to him.

With two siblings also in college and his parents unable to provide much financial support, Mr. Gechter said that he had to finance his education by himself. Tuition, room and board at Grove City is just under $20,000 a year.

At first, he went the more traditional route, working at low-paying jobs such as a desk clerk at the school gym, a cook in the student bistro and a waiter.

With schoolwork on top of long hours at low wages, he "really got burned out," he said, and decided to explore modeling jobs.

He signed with the Ohio-based Midwest Model Management Agency, doing mainly "fitness and underwear modeling." At one job, he was approached by a scout who told him that he had the perfect body for the adult film industry.

And while the move from modeling to pornography seems like crossing a fairly large gulf, "when you're actually in the industry, it's not quite as big of a deal," he said.

He would work a couple weekends per month, flying out on Friday and returning Sunday night in time for Monday classes and typically making between $3,000 and $5,000 -- and sometimes as much as $8,000 -- per scene.

Though Mr. Gechter said that his porn career opened doors for him in terms of modeling and possibly acting, he now wishes that he hadn't done it, given the academic consequences and the pain that it has caused his religious family.

When he broke the news, his mother started "praying and fasting." His father was upset, but he said they still love him.

He has retained a lawyer and is contemplating a lawsuit against Grove City. Though he admits that some of his rule violations were fairly clear, he doesn't feel like the school is demonstrating Christian values of love and forgiveness. The whole experience, he said, has caused him to re-examine his Christian beliefs.

"I believe in God, that you are held accountable for what you do, that there are standards of right and wrong," he said.

"If I could do it over again, this is not an option I would pursue. It's something you learn from, and you learn who your true friends are very, very quickly."

It is finally time to repeal, Don't Ask, Don't Tell. We can't let another year go by.

2009-05-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL WEAKENS OUR MILITARY, IT DESTROYS LIVES, CAREERS and MOST OF ALL MAKES US FEEL NOT EQUAL TO STRAIGHTS!!!

WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW!!!!

In the Barracks, Out of the Closet

http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/03/in-the-barracks-out-of-the-closet/?hp

President Obama has said he will abolish the 16-year-old “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which allows gays and lesbians to serve in the military only if they do not disclose their sexual orientation. Nationwide, polls show that a majority of Americans support lifting the ban on openly gay members of the military.

But support in the military’s ranks and among retired officers is mixed. While several prominent retired generals and admirals have urged a repeal, others have said that allowing openly gay people to join the service would hurt recruiting and retention. How would lifting the ban affect the military ranks?

We don't know the answers to this. An Executive Order would, I feel, weaken any chance of Congress passing the repeal. Only Congress should lift this stupid policy.

Write your congressman and senator. Tell him or her that this is just bullshit, and discriminates again gay men and lesbians serving in the military.

Toot your horn and make a soldier proud to be serve openly and gay in our armed forces without retaliation!!!!

They need our Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs of support.

For Those That It matters,A Reminder to Set your Clocks ahead one hour tonight

2009-03-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

This guy knows how to set clocks forward. Just follow him to set your clocks forward tonight. Have a great day and enjoy the extra hour of daylight at the end of the day.

Mega hairy muscle hugs guys. Soon it will be shirtless weather again. WOOF

WOOF, It's Cold Outside. Time to Dream and Plan Getaway Vacations

2009-02-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

FYI: This is the newest edition of Damron Men's Travel Guide for 2009.

This should sell really well, given the furry eye candy on the cover.

Damron Men's Travel Guide 2009

The classic gay men's travel guide since 1964. Over 12,000 listings of gay-friendly businesses in the US, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, the Caribbean, South America, Europe & Asia.

Quick facts on everything the gay traveler on the go needs, including accommodations, bars, bookstores, gyms, restaurants, men's clubs and more.Also a yearly calendar of film fests, circuit parties, leather and bear events, conferences, etc.

European cities now include Paris, London, Berlin, Amsterdam, Vienna, Rome, Prague, Dublin, Copenhagen, and Barcelona, Madrid, and Sitges, Spain.

In South America: Buenos Aires, Argentina; Rio de Janeiro & Sao Paulo, Brazil; and Santiago, Chile. In Asia: Tokyo & Bangkok.
$21.95 (online $17.56)

KEEP SAM ADAMS!!!

2009-01-26T05:07:00.000-08:00

As those of you who know me and who have read my blog posts over the years know, I do not stray into politics.

I write about man to man relationships, safer sex, and other topics of interest.

But I feel that I have to venture into the political arena concerning the cries for the resignation of Sam Adams.

We Gay Men are not perfect. Gay men are imperfect sexual creatures. Admit it or not, more times than not, we think with our cock before our brain cells shift into action mode.

Sam indeed, acted irrationally. But he is still a great leader. Why have him thrown to the wolves when the voters and others can forgive him, as he humbly asks us to do.

We live in an imperfect world. Gay leaders, I fear, have their heads so entrenched into the gay marriage issue, that any thing or anyone's action that promotes something negative on this issue, is hung "by his balls", for the sake of the cause.

I, for one, am willing to give Sam Adams a second chance. Hell, I guess, any one with the name of Beau Breedlove can be darn seductive. Beau seems to be the heartbreaker. Sam was vulnerable, and this public humility is his "scarlet letter".

But enough is enough. Let Sam Adams continue what the voters of Portland elected him to do, lead a great city through some difficult economic times.

Sam, you have my Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs of support.

Supporters urge Adams not to resign

Portland Business Journal

A phalanx of supporters — including Commissioner Dan Saltzman — urged Mayor Sam Adams not to resign during a Friday gathering inside City Hall.

They lauded Adams’ leadership ability, while pleading for him to ride out the wave of criticism that rocked his administration this week following his admission to lying about a sexual relationship with 18-year-old Beau Breedlove.

“This city, this country, are in very tough times. We have to work hard to do our own efforts to get our economy going,” said Saltzman, speaking publicly on the issue for the first time.

“Frankly, we need Mayor Sam Adams to be leading this City Council.”

Supporters also criticized the Portland media for calling for Adams’ resignation and uncovering his transgressions in the first place.

Willamette Week first broke the story of Adams’ admission Monday evening. Subsequently, four publications — The Oregonian, the Portland Tribune, the Portland Business Journal, and local gay newspaper Just Out — published editorials urging Adams to resign.

“The fact that the media have the right to publish the truth doesn’t mean they should exercise the truth in every circumstance,” Charlie Hinkle, a local attorney at Stoel Rives LLP who specializes in First Amendment issues, said at the rally. “The media spend much too much time in probing the private lives of public officials.”

The news conference was organized by Thomas Lauderdale, a friend of Adams and frontman for the local band Pink Martini. Among the other speakers were prominent business officials such as commercial developer John Russell, and leaders in the arts community, including local singer Storm Large.

Acclaimed director Gus Van Sant, who this week was nominated for an Oscar for his work directing the film “Milk,” issued a statement, read by a proxy at the news conference.

“Portland didn’t elect Sam to dismiss him at the first sign of controversy,” Van Sant wrote.
Supporters are scheduled to host a larger rally at 5:30 p.m. Friday outside City Hall.

Happy New Year. What's Old is New Again.

2009-01-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

I recently discovered the works of Marsden Hartley. His art captures the male form as few artists of the 20th century have achieved. His masterpieces are timeless. These models could have lived today.

Below is an exerpt of Mardsen's life and his talent from a press release announcing a special exhibit of his work at the Bates College Museum of Art in Maine.

Born in Lewiston, Maine in 1877 to immigrant parents, Marsden Hartley achieved recognition as a painter and poet late in life.

In a letter dated December 20, 1942, Hartley wrote to his favorite niece Norma Berger, "When I am no longer here my name will register forever in the history of American art." Evidence of the artist’s efforts to establish his name and to fix himself in the collective memory of the public, his friends, and family, can be found throughout the Bates College Museum of Art’s collection.

Hartley’s personal archive not only provides a wealth of information about the artist’s life, relationships, and interests, but demonstrates his attempt to construct both a personal history and a public identity.

Hartley was fascinated with autobiography from the early stages of his career. Through self-portraiture and prolific writing, he chronicled his life partly in an effort to prove to himself that it had been worthwhile. Friends and acquaintances often described the artist as lonely, anxious, frustrated, gloomy, and bitter – yet lighthearted and affectionate "when he thought he was being liked or loved."

In a life largely spent unsettled, collecting photographs of others, and sharing images of himself was a way to maintain relationships and initiate new ones. Hartley’s ongoing struggle to find his place – geographically, philosophically, artistically, and as a gay man – is documented in his writing, reflected in his work, and revealed through a study of his archive.

Along with 99 drawings, the Marsden Hartley Memorial Collection contains a large number of photographs, including personal snapshots, formal portraits, and studio reference materials. As part of the Museum’s collection of Hartley ephemera, these images function as important documents of his life, interests, and studio practices.

Hartley recognized the power of the photographic image and believed in the "honesty" of the medium and its ability to communicate, which he attempted to control. Photography allowed the artist to portray himself in any image he desired: New York modernist, European aesthete, native Mainer.

In honor of this great contemporary American artist, celebrate his works by giving Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs in abundance as we celebrate a new chapter in American history.

HO!HO!HO! Merry Xmas to everyone

2008-12-19T04:27:00.000-08:00

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

May Daddy Santa bring you everything you desire: love, peace and joy.

Wishing Everyone a Happy, Hunky and Safe Halloween

2008-10-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

Have a Happy and Safe Halloween. BOO!!!!

We Are What We Are. The Biology of Gayness

2008-09-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

Born that gay
Do recent neurological studies prove once and for all that homosexuality is biological?
By Robert Burton

http://www.salon.com/env/mind_reader/2008/09/12/gay_neurology/index.html

See what you think after reading this latest scientific study about why we are gay.

Sept. 12, 2008 As the accuracy and resolution of brain imaging improve, we can expect virtually all behavior to be shown to be associated with demonstrable brain changes. It shouldn't come as a surprise that imaging studies of sexual orientation are increasingly revealing anatomic and functional differences between "straight" and "gay" brains. But demonstrating such changes doesn't answer the age-old question of how much our sexual preferences are innate and how much they are fueled by environmental exposure, cultural norms and conscious personal choices.
One way to distinguish the effects of nature from nurture would be to look at brain regions believed by neuro-anatomists to be fully formed at birth and impervious to subsequent environmental effects, both physical and psychological. Focusing on such brain regions, a research team at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, headed by neuroscientist Ivanka Savic, obtained MRIs for 90 adult volunteers -- 25 straight men, 25 straight women, 20 gay men and 20 lesbians. Using the latest quantitative techniques for assessing cerebral symmetry and functional connections between various areas of brain, Savic was able to demonstrate highly statistically significant differences between straight and gay brains. Gay and lesbian brains more closely resembled the brains of straight volunteers of the opposite sex than the brains of heterosexual members of the same sex.

In their study, reported in the June 16, 2008, issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Savic said, "This is the most robust measure so far of cerebral differences between homosexual and heterosexual subjects." Although Savic admits that her study cannot distinguish between genetic or prenatal intrauterine environmental changes, such as relative differences in sex hormone levels, her studies do suggest that our sexual preferences are, at least in large part, determined by the time of birth.

Not long after reading the study, the author got a call from neurologist Jerome Goldstein, M.D., 67, once a fellow resident in the UCSF neurology training program. This fall, Goldstein, an internationally respected headache researcher and sometimes controversial gay activist, is giving a series of lectures on the innate biology of gayness. He was phoning to ask if I had seen the study and if I might write about the latest scientific evidence supporting the biology of gayness. I decided to interview him instead. Goldstein is compact, rapid-talking and constantly on the verge of impatience. Yet during our conversations he was subdued, confessional in tone, with frequent pauses to gather his thoughts; the seriousness of his concerns was palpable.

Jerry, you've been an outspoken gay activist for 40-plus years. Why the sudden interest in the biology of sexual orientation?

I was aware that I was attracted to men by age 8, even though I did not have any gay sexual experiences until I was 19. Meanwhile, despite having no sex or even a clear understanding of what homosexuality meant, virtually everyone that I encountered, including my dear parents, made a point of telling me that homosexuality was dirty, sinful and a phase that would pass.
Beginning my sophomore year in college, and before my first gay experience, I began the endless rounds of psychiatrists and counselors. I even tried to modify my behavior to make it acceptable. Sadly, even though I now know better, and am fully aware of the overwhelming evidence as to the underlying neurobiologic predisposition to gayness, I have never been able to entirely shake this feeling of guilt and wrongdoing. Future generations should be spared. Right now, I'm interested in seeing that good science prevails over outdated, misguided psychology and false-headed thinking that homosexuality is a conscious choice.

Do you think people accept that homosexuality arises out of biological predispositions?

Only on the surface. Down deep, there's a lingering suspicion that, even if the cause is biological, there is something intrinsically wrong with being gay. It has been 35 years since homosexuality was removed from a psychiatric diagnostic category and we [still] don't see the changes in the way people think. Sadly, even our major neurological societies haven't taken a serious look at the biology of sexual orientation. For example, when was the last time that you saw the American Academy of Neurology even address the subject? And the general public? Just listen to right-wing talk show hosts offering to pray for my sins. Or look at the damage caused by the religious right and its "conversion therapy," which attempts to alter an inborn characteristic of human behavior. I don't want pity and sympathy, I want scientific understanding based on logic and reason.

Could you give me a brief rundown of what you think is the most compelling evidence supporting the biology of gayness?

Keep in mind that sexual orientation is exceedingly complex and not reducible to a single gene or hormonal aberration, or explained by demonstrable anatomic brain differences. But by examining multiple lines of evidence, you can begin to connect the dots as to how biology influences sexual preferences. With these caveats in mind, let's look at the history leading up to the present functional imaging studies.

In 1991, Simon LeVay, formerly a professor of neuroscience at Harvard and the Salk Biological Institute, claimed to have discovered specific anatomic differences between gay and straight brains, primarily in a region of the hypothalamus believed to have a major influence on sexual behavior. By the way, this region's fetal development is greatly influenced by the levels of intrauterine testosterone, a major reason why intrauterine shifts of sex hormone levels are thought by some researchers to contribute to sexual preference.

But LeVay's work was considered controversial, nonreproducible, and part of a gay political agenda. The real take-away was the promise that neuroscience might one day offer better insights into the origins of homosexuality.

At the same time, there were a variety of quasi-scientific studies claiming to uncover markers for "gay tendencies." One suggested that you could tell whether or not you're gay by whether your hair whorl -- that patch of hair on the crown of your head -- curled clockwise or counterclockwise. Another suggested that you could tell by the relative symmetry of your second and fourth digits. Those studies weren't exactly good science and certainly didn't make the biology of sexual orientation an attractive area for basic research funding.

Early genetic studies also ran into major criticisms. In the early '90s, Dean Hamer of the National Cancer Institute raised the possibility of "a gay gene." His studies met the same criticisms asserting that that single genes don't cause complex behavior. On a YouTube video, Hamer denies the idea of a single gene for gayness.

But what has emerged from the genetic approach is incontrovertible evidence that sexual preference runs in families. Several independent large-scale studies show that a man with a gay identical twin brother will have between a 33 and 52 percent chance of being gay -- a rate far higher than is seen in the general population. But even here, one could argue that half to two-thirds of genetically similar twins will not have the same sexual orientation. Naysayers have used this fact as evidence that, even in the face of similar genetics, each of us retains the ability to consciously choose and control our sexual preferences.

Of course, this is a ridiculous argument. Genes can be variably expressed, depending upon environmental factors. And no one is saying that genes are the sole cause of sexual behavior; nongenetic factors are likely to also play a major role. It's entirely conceivable that identical twins with a similar genetic predisposition for homosexuality but exposed to different intrauterine testosterone levels will end up with different sexual orientations.

Let's talk about your take on the new brain-imaging studies.

Begin with Dr. Savic's work on pheromones. It's fairly common knowledge that, throughout the animal kingdom, sniffing chemicals secreted by other members of the same species -- pheromones -- can invoke innate behaviors such as a flight response in aphids, aggression in bees, trail marking in ants. We forgive our pet cat for marking our favorite couch as "her territory." All of these are basic survival techniques with clear evolutionary benefits. Ditto for chemicals involved in "being in heat."

What's fascinating about Savic and her colleagues' study was their ability to test the role of pheromones in identifying human sexual orientation.

Functional imaging studies or PET scans of heterosexual controls were compared with a group of gay and lesbian volunteers. All subjects were asked to sniff gender-specific sex-hormone-like compounds: AND for the androgen-like pheromones secreted by males and EST for the estrogen-like pheromones secreted by females.

To enhance normal reproduction, you'd expect that males would be attracted to EST and females to AND. But Savic found that these self-declared gays and lesbians process these pheromones differently than their heterosexual counterparts.

When exposed to the male pheromone AND, homosexual men tended to respond similarly to heterosexual women, both in brain location and degree of activation. On the other hand, gay women responded to EST similarly to straight men.

In short, it looks as though straight men and gay women processed similarly while the converse is true for straight women and gay men.

But her pheromone study still doesn't answer the nature-nurture question. These PET scan differences could reflect the consequences of a behavior rather than necessarily being indicative of the cause of the behavior.

But that's what makes her study so important, and allows her to draw the most important conclusion -- that sexual orientation is determined prior to exposure to life's environmental influences. Savic has assured me that these findings aren't "learned" but rather reflect either genetic or intrauterine developmental differences. And, unlike some of the early researchers, Savic can't be accused of having a gay political agenda or bias. Her field was originally epilepsy research. She inadvertently stumbled onto the pheromone sex differences while studying how smells might trigger temporal lobe epilepsy.

You've seen the studies. How impressive are the differences?

There are obvious-to-the-naked-eye differences in cerebral symmetry and in the functional connections in various portions of the limbic system, including the differing degrees of connectivity between amygdala and other brain regions critical for emotional responsiveness. It's as though you can actually see the brain changes that most gays have always suspected; and, believe me, it's a great relief to realize that these findings are clearly present at birth and aren't anyone's "fault." They simply are [present] in the same way that one has blue eyes or red hair.

No more and no less.

In thinking about sexual orientation as a choice, isn't there also the problem of how unconscious biological traits affect conscious decisions?

Of course. In a way, choosing a sex partner is like choosing what you eat; it might feel like a choice, but biology plays a major, though unconscious, role.

I presume that you are alluding to the recent studies of the genetics of taste?

Yes. Take our ability to taste bitterness. A single gene, isolated in 2003, determines whether or not foods such as Brussels sprouts are experienced as bitter. Remember how our parents insisted that we could learn to like Brussels sprouts; if we didn't, we were accused of being finicky eaters, or worse. Now, we would be sent for genetic testing.

Are you equating homosexuality with a taste for Brussels sprouts?

Very interesting and funny. But sex is much more complex and emotionally charged as a point of discussion than taste. But yes, in a larger sense, genetics helps determine the shape of desire.

Are you suggesting that outside influences -- parental, peer group and general cultural -- aren't important in determining our sexual preferences?

Not entirely. I'm saying that these influences are far less potent than the biological. Certainly there are a variety of strictly environmental circumstances, such as long-term prison incarceration, that might trigger homosexual behavior. But then you run into the reverse argument. Given that lots of men are confined to prison, only some end up with homosexual behavior. Perhaps these circumstances still reflect a combination of biology and environment. Right now, all bets are off.

There is the additional problem that you discussed at length in your recent book, "On Being Certain," namely, how conscious decisions can be affected by unconscious biological mechanisms. The same biology that affects our sexual desires may also affect how we consciously think about these desires.

In a separate study (PDF), Savic has shown that differential responses to pheromones even affect how we determine the relative masculinity or femininity of facial images. Savic presented male volunteers with a series of facial images and asked them to rate the faces on a scale of masculine to feminine. When inhaling a masculine pheromone, the volunteers perceived the faces to be more masculine than when they were exposed to estrogen-like pheromones.

What's so intriguing about this study is that it shows how simple chemicals can actually affect our visual perception of gender. It's not a great leap of imagination to see how these same chemicals might influence whether an adolescent male chooses to read a muscle magazine or Playboy.

Do you think these studies can help counter fundamentalist arguments that homosexuality is evil?

Accepting sexual preference as an innate characteristic is an essential first step. But this sidesteps the more deep-seated gut sense that homosexuality isn't natural and goes against the laws of nature. This argument can be partially defused by recognizing how ubiquitous homosexual behavior is in the animal kingdom -- starting with the lowliest fruit fly. I'm sure you're aware that there is a single gene, which, in the fruit fly, can turn on and off homosexual behavior.

But in the end, I suspect that real acceptance will only come about when we have a much more comprehensive view of how the mind works, including how we make conscious choices versus how much of our apparent willfulness arises out of involuntary biological mechanisms.

Let's all pay homage to the fruit fly by grabbing your snuggle buddy and giving him "Mega Hairy Muscle hugs". And forget the mind games, after all, we are what we are.

So remember to eat your brussel sprouts. And throw in some spinach for good measure.

Your musclebear Popeye may be closer than you think. WOOF.

Love Your Body, And All of Your Body Parts, But Make Sure It is the Best Body It Can Be.

2008-09-06T05:55:00.000-07:00

The following is from the current issue of the Advocate.

See what you think.

The Naked Truth

Twenty-two people of all shapes and sizes strip down, pose, and spill their guts about what they love and hate about their bodies.

Click the byline to view more stories by this author.Photography by Eric Schwabel
A shorter version of this story appeared in The Advocate September 23, 2008

They say you can see a person’s soul if you stare into his eyes—but perhaps the quickest way to really know someone is to have him take off his clothes. That’s why we asked 22 people to undress and bare their insecurities. Some of their hang-ups are unexpected (Really? Too big!?), others are heart-wrenching. All of them will have you looking at yourself differently the next time you’re naked. Click on the links below for profiles, photos, and video for each of the participants.

Jim Andre, 60San Luis Obispo, Calif.Likes: arms, chest Dislikes: waistline
Gustavo Marzolla, 32Belo Horizonte, Brazil Likes: face, chest Dislikes: legs
Willam Belli, 24Philadelphia Likes: nose, torso Dislikes: scarred left leg
Dasha Snyder, 38Baltimore Likes: brain and feet—“because they get me where I’m going”Dislikes: scarred abdomen
Patrick Henry, 40Taos, N.M.Likes: chest hair and muscle Dislikes: weight—too skinny
Chad Darnell, 35Atlanta Likes: hands Dislikes: stomach
Trevor Wayne, 30All over the Midwest Likes: everything that’s tattooed Dislikes: forehead
Mark Hersh, 39Newport Beach, Calif.Likes: chest, eyes Dislikes: abs, buttocks
Sean Ching, (age undisclosed)Hawaii Likes: his muscles Dislikes: he sometimes feels fat
Jim Morris, 73New York City Likes: body Dislikes: face
Rodrigo Toledo, 32Rio de Janeiro Likes: hands, chest Dislikes: that he breaks out
Jeff Lukomski, 44Detroit Likes: smile, eyes Dislikes: penis -- too big
Calpernia Addams, 37Nashville Likes: eyes Dislikes: “I’m too tall and too big”
Shawnee Harkins, 26Dallas Likes: arms, shoulders, triceps, rear Dislikes: abs

Corey Saucier, 31Los Angeles Likes: masculine frame Dislikes: stomach
J.T. Chestnut, 19Rock Ridge–Wilson, N.C.Likes: legs Dislikes: belly button, nose
Jim Howley, 33Hilliard, Ohio Likes: heart, eyes Dislikes: “I love all of myself”
Alex LiMandri, 30Metz, France Likes: chest Dislikes: legs
Carlos Fierros, 23Oakley, Calif.Likes: face, legs Dislikes: stomach
Profiles by Neal Broverman, Kyle Buchanan, Japhy Grant

Be happy with your body, but strive to make it the best body it can be.

There is no such thing as the Adonis look. Male Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Some parts we can never really appreciate about ourselves, because we never see them in the right light. So graciously accept any and all comments about your strong back, shoulders, and butt cheeks.

As I have stated earlier, I can find at least something positive, great, erotic, about every male body. So check out your assets, work on what's great about your body, accentuate the positive, and go for it.

I challenge you to a 60 day hunky bod workout. Let me know how it goes.

Giving you mega hairy muscle hugs of encouragement. You got the bod, now make it happen.

Gaydar by the numbers. Just How Accurate Is It?

2008-08-01T03:55:00.000-07:00

Gay-dar, Quantified

How long does it take to decide if a man is gay?

It turns out that people make their decisions within 50 milliseconds of seeing someone, and that first instinct is accurate the majority of the time, according to research by Nick Rule and Nalini Ambady of Tufts University who have a study in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Via BPS Research Digest

Twenty-two male and sixty-eight female undergrads were presented with photos of 90 men's faces (half were homosexual) .

The anonymous photos were taken from an internet dating site where posters stated their sexual orientation.

Any photos featuring facial hair, glasses or jewelery were not used. (Now that sucks. All bears with facial hair ere excluded f rom the process)

At a quick glance, the presentation was too quick for the students to consciously 'see' the faces and, perhaps unsurprisingly, their ability to determine the men's sexuality was no better than if they were simply guessing.

However, at a slightly longer glance - just long enough for the faces to be consciously seen - the students' accuracy grew to 57 per cent, which is significantly better than chance performance.

Accuracy didn't increase with the longer exposure times, suggesting that all the relevant information for making the judgment had already been extracted after a quick glance.

In a second study, the researchers guarded against the possibility that the men in the dating photographs had deliberately accentuated their sexuality. This time photos were taken from the social website Facebook, where they had been posted by people other than the subjects of the photos (so deliberate accentuation of sexuality was less likely). Again, from just a glance exposure to men's faces, the 15 undergraduate participants were able to recognise the men's sexual orientation with an accuracy better than chance.

But that 57 percent success rate means that almost half of the guys initially perceived to be gay aren't.

I don't think this really proves anything. But it's a fun topic to banter around during your next cookout.

Gay Soldiers Are True Soldiers. Their Manhood Must Never Be Questioned

2008-07-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

Both the Washington Post in today's editorial, June 11, 2008 and this AP wire story confirm that gay men have the same capabilities to fight side by side with straight soldiers.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Congress should repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" law because the presence of gays in the military is unlikely to undermine the ability to fight and win, according to a new study released by a California-based research center.

Protests in 2007 against a high ranking military official's comments that being gay is "immoral."

The study was conducted by four retired military officers, including the three-star Air Force lieutenant general who in early 1993 was tasked with implementing President Clinton's policy that the military stop questioning recruits on their sexual orientation.

"Evidence shows that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly is unlikely to pose any significant risk to morale, good order, discipline or cohesion," the officers states.
To support its contention, the panel points to the British and Israeli militaries, where it says gay people serve openly without hurting the effectiveness of combat operations.

Undermining unit cohesion was a determining factor when Congress passed the 1993 law, intended to keep the military from asking recruits their sexual orientation. In turn, service members can't say they are gay or bisexual, engage in homosexual activity or marry a member of the same sex.

Supporters of the ban contend there is still no empirical evidence that allowing gays to serve openly won't hurt combat effectiveness. BULLSHIT!!!!

"The issue is trust and confidence" among members of a unit, said Lt. Col. Robert Maginnis, who retired in 1993 after working on the issue for the Army. When some people with a different sexual orientation are "in a close combat environment, it results in a lack of trust," he said.
The study was sponsored by the Michael D. Palm Center at the University of California at Santa Barbara, which said it picked the panel members to portray a bipartisan representation of the different service branches.

According to its Web site, the Palm Center "is committed to keeping researchers, journalists and the general public informed of the latest developments in the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy debate."
Two of the officers on the panel have endorsed Democratic candidates since leaving the military -- Army Lt. Gen. Robert Gard, who supports Barack Obama, and Marine Corps Gen. Hugh Aitken, who backed Clinton in 1996.

Air Force Lt. Gen. Robert Minter Alexander, a Republican, was assigned in 1993 to a high-level panel established by the Defense Department to examine the issue of gays in the military. At one point, he signed an order that prohibited the military from asking a recruit's sexual orientation.
Alexander said at the time he was simply trying to carry out the president's orders and not take a position. But he now believes the law should be repealed because it assumes the existence of gays in the military is disruptive to units even though cultural attitudes are changing.

Further, the Defense Department and not Congress should be in charge of regulating sexual misconduct within the military, he said.

"Who else can better judge whether it's a threat to good order and discipline?" Alexander asked.
Navy Vice Adm. Jack Shanahan said he had no opinion on the issue when he joined the panel, having never confronted it in his 35-year military career. A self-described Republican who opposes the Bush administration's handling of the Iraq war, Shanahan said he was struck by the loss of personal integrity required by individuals to carry out "don't ask, don't tell."

"Everyone was living a big lie -- the homosexuals were trying to hide their sexual orientation and the commanders were looking the other way because they didn't want to disrupt operations by trying to enforce the law," he said.

DON'T ASK DON'T TELL SUCKS!!!!! It was more like Don't Ask, DO TELL.

The sooner this ban is lifted, the better our fighting military capability will be.

Mega hairy muscle hugs encouraging this nation's military and legislative leadership to correct a serious wrong, and strike down this most grievous kind of discrimination.

Taking the Risky Out of Being Frisky

2008-06-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

Guys seem to feel that they don't have to be risky just to be frisky.

Is being tame, lame? You guys decide after reading this timely article.

The End of Public Sex
Why isn't anyone fucking anymore?
by Steve Weinstein
June 17th, 2008 12:00 AM

On the night before Memorial Day last month, several hundred men were packed into the top floor of a building in the meatpacking district. A DJ spun in a corner while bartenders frantically poured vodka into paper cups. A few of the men—most of them older—had checked their clothes, but the younger ones were keeping theirs on. In a few darkened corners, there were a few guys giving blowjobs and some ass play; overall, however, the scene could have passed for a typical holiday weekend at any East Village gay bar.

What was most notable about this party wasn't that a few people were—somewhat desultorily—playing around. Rather, it's how many didn't seem to evince the slightest interest in a hookup of any kind. Despite the heat (no fans, let alone air conditioning), the naked go-go boys and the alcohol people seemed content to make chitchat. And whatever little sex was going on, most seemed oblivious to it.

In 2002, I wrote the Voice's cover story for the Pride issue on "The Return of Public Sex." I chronicled the explosion in sex venues, from clubs to private parties to backroom bars: "After years of AIDS anxiety and government repression, gay public sex is bigger and better than ever," I wrote.
What a difference six years make.

The city has shut down all but two bathhouses and every known sex club in Manhattan, as well as citing bars, clubs, and private parties where inspectors find any men-on-men action. The few entrepreneurs still out there complain about apathy and different priorities among younger gay men.

Daniel Nardicio, the promoter who put on the Memorial Day–eve event, sees himself as a veteran of the battle to bring sleaze to the masses. He's perhaps best known for TigerBeat—underwear parties held at the Slide on the Bowery, where everyone had to check his (or, occasionally, her) clothes. The city shut down TigerBeat in 2004 by orders from the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, citing complaints about sexual activity.

Since then, Nardicio has been a nomad, exploring various venues. He's had bathing-suit parties at a Turkish sauna on Wall Street; organized a road trip to Atlantic City; and tried out a Chinatown photo studio, other Lower East Side bars, and, most recently, the meatpacking-district loft space. His themes always brush the far end of good taste: For Memorial Day, he gave out Fleet Enemas. So he doesn't blame the authorities for the lack of sexual license as much as a fundamental change in the attitudes of gay men themselves.

"These things are ending because people don't want them anymore," he says. "People are spoiled, petulant, uninteresting. I've been throwing outrageous parties again and again for years, but the only time I was busted was at the Slide."

Like everyone else these days, Nardicio blames the Internet for the lack of public engagement. Even so, he adds: "If people wanted dirty, raunchy parties in New York, it would happen. But people don't want it."

If there's a generational shift between post-Stonewall gay men and their younger counterparts, it's that the latter are more interested in fashionista kiss-kiss cocktail soirees like Hiro at the Maritime Hotel and Beige at B Bar: "People are so obsessed about how they look," Nardicio complains. "Everyone wants to pretend they're an A&F model."

For some, this new attitude may mark a healthy and normal progression—from the generation that had to fight for its right to party to a new breed fighting for the right to marry and serve openly in the military. Today, it's easier than ever to come out, and people are doing it in high school or even before. Coming out so early in life, they don't feel as alienated from straight women—or, increasingly, men. Rather than facing discrimination and alienation, they can look forward to marriage and children: "They're not feeling as marginalized," Nardicio says. "Young guys are not as interested in a gay-only scene."

Even on the Internet, young guys are at least as interested in social- networking sites like MySpace as hooking up on Manhunt. "The 21-year-olds are interested in dating," Nardicio notes. "There's a lot less self-hatred."

Still, there's no question that Mayor Bloomberg's administration hasn't exactly been sex-positive. Rumblings about the city's policy came to a boil in January, when a reporter at the local newspaper Gay City News obtained a copy of an internal memo recommending that the city's health commissioner move aggressively to monitor sex clubs more closely or shut them down altogether.

Since the memo was leaked, city officials have been talking out of both sides of their mouths. On the one hand, public faces for the administration like Dr. Monica Sweeney—a top official working on AIDS prevention and services—have been attending public forums where, in Sweeney's case, she patiently explains over and over that there is no organized pogrom against public sex: "There have been no plans at all in the Department of Health to close commercial sex venues," she stated at a heated meeting at the LGBT Center in February.

The city's actions, however, tell a very different story. Manhattan's three best-known sex clubs—El Mirage, the Studio, and the Comfort Zone—have all been shuttered: El Mirage two years ago, the other two much more recently. The Wall Street Sauna was closed in 2004, leaving the city with two bathhouses, the East Side Club and the West Side Club. Bars like the Cock, the Eagle, the Slide, and Boysroom have been cited for various violations. Mr. Black, perhaps the most popular hangout for the city's younger gay set, was shut down last year for alleged drug dealing on the premises.

One of the last remaining owners of a Manhattan sex club tried to play ball with the city: He contracted with Positive Health Project, a local AIDS-information service known for its outreach, to give safe-sex demonstrations, lectures, and offer HIV testing. Condoms in bowls were everywhere, as were safer-sex messages. None of that satisfied city inspectors, who then raided the club for alleged building-code violations.

All of this leaves a few vocal gay men outraged—most of them older. Eric Rofes, the California academic who wrote extensively on the positive aspects of gay sex before his death in 2006, spoke passionately at the LGBT Center two years ago about the need for random interactions and meeting places in the age of the Internet. He decried the "disappearance or diminution of sex-site premises," such as gay bookstores (where men can have sex in semi-private stalls), and the "privatization of sexual cultures," such as the leather and S&M scenes—all dismissed as tired or played out by the next generation of gay men.

The site of Nardicio's party was emblematic of the fundamental changes that have taken place in the city: Much of Cruising, the infamous Hollywood version of rampant gay sex in the '70s, was filmed there. Portraying a man dying of AIDS in The Hours, actor Ed Harris threw himself out of one of its windows. This is where the Hellfire Club once hosted S&M parties for straights, gays, and everything in between; now, moneyed Europeans and Wall Street traders dine on raw meat of a very different kind.

To be sure, people are still having sex. But compared to the bad old days of 2002, it's a movable feast and ever more underground. A recent issue of HX, a local gay-party weekly, listed 24 private clubs, from the New York Bondage Club to Foot Friends (foot fetishists), Golden Showers of America (water sports—i.e., piss), Bear Hunt NYC (fans of the heavy-set and hirsute), and Thugs4Thugs (exclusively blacks and Latinos). And those are only the ones listed; other clubs, such as New York by Night, which meets monthly in a Hell's Kitchen apartment, and NYC Jock Party, in Brooklyn, limit themselves to e-mail lists and references.

Those who defend such parties point to isolation and fear as the prime causes of HIV infection. Shutting down places where people can have sex, they argue, is like shutting down bars because people get drunk. Prohibition proved that didn't work, and neither will pretending that all gay men will go to California to get hitched if they're denied group sex. Perry Halkitis, a professor of psychology at NYU, compares such attempts to the arcade game Whack-a-Mole: "You hit the mole, others pop up," he said at a public forum earlier this year.

Others, however, just stay down. On a nondescript side street in southern Hell's Kitchen a few weeks ago, a former sex club held an unusual "yard sale." Items like an industrial-strength sling, leather outfits, and sex toys were being sold by the owner (who asked that his name not be used). He says that he provided condoms and lube for his patrons but couldn't—and wouldn't—turn his staff into sex police. "If you go to a club and there are condoms supplied for free, isn't that better than going to someone's home where there are no condoms available?" he asks. "People take a handful when they leave. When we close down, these people will still be having sex with each other. They'll just have to look harder."

New York, he sighs, has fallen behind other world cities: "Everywhere is more sexually happening," he complains. "I love New York—I can't live anywhere else. The problem is, it's so unmotivated, so uptight right now."

Mike Peyton, a promoter active in the fetish scene, believes that there's still a desire for hot sex, whether in public, in private, or online. "We pioneered it; we rivaled everybody," he says. "It's not just sex—it's erotic expression. When the meatpacking district was in full swing, there were tranny hookers, clubs like the Mine Shaft, the trucks. It's sad to see that go. New York was once the bastion of freewheeling sex. Now it's lost."

Definitely food for thought no matter where you live. Be sexy, be safe. And remember to spread those Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs around. Hoping everyone is enjoying Gay Pride Month.

2008 GAY PRIDE EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

2008-06-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

My annual listing of Gay Pride Events locally and regionally. I can't vouch for its accuracy.

United States of America - 2008
http://digitalqueeries.905host.net/files/world_pride_days.htm Interpride Partial List: Upcoming EventsLocationDate

Tulsa, OK5/31/2008
New Brunswick, New Jersey6/1/2008
Charleston, WV6/1/2008
Detroit, MI6/1/2008
Jackson Heights (Queens), New York6/1/2008
Boston, MA6/6/2008Los Angeles, CA6/6/2008
Milwaukee, WI6/6/2008Wantagh, NY6/7/2008Springfield, MA6/7/2008Syracuse, New York6/7/2008Hartford, CT6/7/2008Fresno, CA6/7/2008Boston , MA6/7/2008
Athens, 6/7/
Philadelphia, PA6/8/2008Huntington Village, Long Island, NY6/8/2008Los Angeles, CA6/8/2008
Albuquerque, NM6/13/2008Spokane Valley, WA6/13/2008Edmonton, Alberta6/13/2008Brooklyn, NY6/14/2008Indianapolis, IN6/14/2008Memphis, TN6/14/2008Spokane, WA6/14/2008Cincinnati, Ohio6/14/2008Des Moines, Iowa6/14/2008
Durham Region, ON6/14/2008San Antonio, TX6/14/2008Indianapolis, IN6/14/2008Cincinnati, Ohio6/15/2008Cincinnati, Ohio6/15/2008Boston , MA6/15/2008Boston , MA6/15/2008Ft Lauderdale, FL6/16/2008Oslo, 6/20/2008Flagstaff, AZ6/20/2008Toronto, Ontario6/20/2008Louisville, KY6/20/2008Omaha, NE6/20/2008Santa Fe, NM6/20/2008Minneapolis, MN6/20/2008Minneapolis, MN6/21/2008Oldenburg, 6/21/2008Olympia, WA6/21/2008Pittsburgh, PA6/21/2008Grand Rapids, MI6/21/2008Providence, RI6/21/2008Conway, ARKANSAS6/22/2008New York, New York6/22/2008
Minneapolis, MN6/22/2008Lansing, Michigan6/27/2008Vancouver, British Columbia6/28/2008St. Petersburg, FL6/28/2008San Francisco, California6/28/2008Erie, PA6/28/2008Vancouver, British Columbia6/28/2008
Houston, TX6/28/2008St. Louis, MO6/28/2008Tiel, 6/29/2008Chicago, IL6/29/2008Colombo, 6/29/2008Erie, PA6/29/2008Prince George, BC7/4/2008Atlanta, GA7/4/2008Prince George, BC7/5/2008Prince George, BC7/5/2008Marseille, 7/5/2008Aberdeen, 7/5/2008
More:http://www.interpride.org/ This is a partial listing.There are more events that are not on this list.

Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Safer Sex.

2008-05-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

The following is from this week's column, Savage Love by Dan Savage. The question the 16 year old gay guy asks is relevent for gay men at any age.

Savage Love
Sexpert Advice
BY DAN SAVAGE

I'm 16 and gay. I recently got into an argument with my parents over whether HIV is spread by saliva or if you can be infected during oral sex. I thought that you were safe kissing and that it's okay to have oral sex, but that you need to use condoms for anal sex. My parents disagree and I found mixed answers searching online. I trust you, though—what do you say?
Good Gay Boy

You trust me, GGB, but your parents probably wouldn't. So I'm going to step aside and let some HIV prevention pros have a crack at your questions. Think of this column as a sex-ed gangbang I've arranged just for you—but, um, don't describe it to your parents that way.

"To be exposed to HIV, you would have to come in contact with someone who is HIV-positive and a fluid—semen, vaginal secretions, blood—that can transmit HIV," says Krishna Stone, assistant director of community relations at Gay Men's Health Crisis in New York City. "And there would also need to be a point of entry—unprotected vaginal or anal sex without condoms," that would bring the virus into contact with mucous membranes that could absorb it.

Stone makes a great point: You can't be exposed to HIV unless you're having sex with someone who has HIV. The AIDS virus isn't fire and gay men aren't twigs; it doesn't matter how vigorously you rub us against each other, we're not going to suddenly burst into HIV. If you're having sex—safe sex—with someone who's HIV-negative like you, GGB, you have nothing to worry about on the HIV front. Well, except for your boyfriend's truthfulness and any changes to his HIV status since his last test—which is why you should be having safe sex regardless, even if you think you're both negative.

But let's say you're not with just one guy. Let's say you're running around having sex—safe sex—with random guys (not that I'm saying you should). Some of these guys are likely to be HIV-positive. So are you at risk of contracting HIV when you kiss poz guys?

"Kissing carries no risk of HIV transmission according to the Canadian AIDS Society's HIV transmission guidelines," says Rui Pires, gay men's community education coordinator for the AIDS Committee of Toronto, "[because] saliva doesn't transmit HIV."
So has anyone ever been infected via kissing?

"There has been a documented case of HIV transmitted through 'deep kissing,' [and the infection] occurred because both of those involved had current gum disease and had bleeding gums," says Beau Gratzer, director of HIV/STD prevention at Howard Brown in Chicago. "Generally speaking, blood must be visible in the saliva in order to pose a risk of HIV transmission."

So promise your parents, GGB, that there'll be no deep kissing after you and your boyfriend go get your wisdom teeth pulled together, okay?

What about oral sex? What kind of risks are there when you're blowing guys who could be positive?

"Oral sex is very low risk for transmitting HIV," says Hunter Hargraves, community initiatives coordinator at the STOP AIDS Project in San Francisco. Low risk does not mean no risk—some men have been infected giving head. "But even though oral sex is very low risk for HIV," adds Hargraves, "other STDs like gonorrhea and chlamydia can still be transmitted via oral sex," giving and receiving, "and having an STD increases the potential for HIV transmission."

What can you do to minimize the already low risk of contracting HIV when performing oral sex?
"HIV transmission is possible only if you have a cut or abrasion in your mouth or throat through which the virus can enter your bloodstream," says Pires. So don't go down on anyone if you have a cut or abrasion. To avoid creating one, "no flossing or brushing 45 minutes before you go down on somebody," says Hargraves.

You can also minimize your risks, says Howard Brown's Gratzer, "[by] not getting semen/come in your mouth, reducing your number of oral sex partners, and using a [condom] while engaging in oral sex."

I'd like to add to this list: Don't sleep with total sleazefags, don't be a total sleazefag yourself, and don't allow anyone to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do.

Definitely words to the wise gay man compliments of Dan. He has the pulse on healthy gay sex. These do's and don't's point that the best way to a healthy sex life is by practicing safer sex, and using a condom. Use your imagination, some steamy foreplay, wrap yours and your partners love machine snugly into separate condoms, and have great sex. Dan says so. I say so, therefore, it must be true.

SURVEY SAYS: We're Not As Smart Or As Politically Aware As We Think We Are

2008-05-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Survey shows gays ‘ignorant’ of basic rights issuesMajority of respondents flunk test on U.S. laws

By JOSHUA LYNSEN, Washington Blade May 1, 3:57 PM

Few gay Americans understand their basic rights, according to an analysis released this week.Based on the responses of 768 gays, lesbians and bisexuals to a national poll given in November, the analysis found that most respondents could not correctly answer four questions regarding their state and federal rights.“I think ‘ignorant’ is the right word, unfortunately,” said Pat Egan, an assistant professor of politics at New York University who is gay and helped write the analysis.

The poll by City University of New York’s Hunter College asked whether same-sex marriages were legal in the respondent’s state, if the U.S. Constitution bans same-sex marriage, whether gays can serve openly in the U.S. military and if there’s a federal law barring the firing of workers based on their sexual orientation.Egan said only 38 percent of poll respondents answered all four questions correctly.“On one hand, that doesn’t surprise us,” he said. “On the other, we would have liked to see these numbers a little higher.”

According to the analysis, 94 percent of respondents knew whether same-sex marriage was legal in their state, 78 percent knew the U.S. Constitution does not ban same-sex marriage, 82 percent knew they could not serve openly in the military and 59 percent knew there’s no federal law that bars workers from being fired based on their sexual orientation.“So only six in 10 lesbians, gays and bisexuals know there is no national law protecting them from employment discrimination,” he said. “Considering this has been the top priority for advocates in Washington for the past 20 years, that is pretty astounding and disappointing.”

Marty Rouse, national field director for Human Rights Campaign, said he was “discouraged” by the finding and that it demonstrated the need for further education.The findings come despite information that shows gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans are more politically active than the general population.Egan said 33 percent of the poll’s gay, lesbian and bisexual respondents indicated they were “very interested” in politics, compared to 22 percent in the general population.

The poll’s respondents were likelier than people in the general population to have engaged in some kind of political activity during the preceeding year.According to the analysis, gays, lesbians and bisexuals were 7.6 percent likelier to have contacted a government official, 6.9 percent likelier to have attended a protest or rally and 3.6 percent likelier to give money to a campaign.

Egan said the increased political participation could be attributed at least partly to the coming out process, which the poll showed greatly changed many gays, lesbians and bisexuals who responded.“There’s something politically transformative about this period that people have long suspected,” he said. “Now we’re nailing down the changes that are happening during this period.”

That period was defined in the poll as the time between a respondent’s earliest coming-out experience, often when the individual first thought he or she might be gay, and the latest such experience, usually when the person first told someone he or she is gay.

According to the analysis, respondents tended to become less religious, more liberal and more interested in politics during this time, although many reported no change.

The analysis, released Wednesday, came about through ongoing review of the Hunter College poll conducted in November. It was authored by Egan; Ken Sherrill, a Hunter College political science professor; and Murray Edelman, a Rutgers College scholar and former editorial director of Voter News Service.

Other new findings from the poll, which was funded by HRC and controlled by Hunter College, showed the respondents’ priorities for gay civil rights issues.According to the analysis, gay, lesbian and bisexual respondents generally placed laws regarding workplace discrimination hate crimes as their top issues.

Efforts toward ending “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and securing rights for transgender people scored the lowest.Respondents 18-25 years old indicated that marriage and adoption rights were the top issues, while respondents 65 years and older noted laws regarding hate crimes and workplace discrimination were most important.

Being Green is HOT!!!

2008-04-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

The following is a celebration of Earth Day, April 22, 2008. Be green by recycling your outgrown jocks, leathers, so that all hot men can enjoy them. After all, that's really what Craig's List is all about.

By Dave White
From The Advocate May 6, 2008

I read a lot of magazines. I know that’s not very green. But I have to know what’s going on. And I feel gross bringing my laptop into the bathroom. I especially read a lot of magazines about awesome (and usually expensive) furniture.

I used to love the design magazine Nest because the people in there would do stuff like wrap their staircases in electrical tape and then be all proud of it. It was a magazine less about being crazy-rich than being simply plain old crazy.

Anyway, Nest is long gone. So now I like Domino. It seems aimed at 23-year-old women, but I like it anyway. I especially like its feature about eco-people and their green lives, written as a daily timetable (“11 a.m.: Jet to Paris. To offset my carbon footprint I log on to a website that plants trees in your name and have Oregon personally reforested. Slide on Hermès sleep mask and slumber righteously.”). Here’s my own green day:

6 a.m.: Be kissed awake by the roar of garbage trucks. They say RECYCLING on the side, but I think they don’t mean it since it seems they dump all the recycling bin stuff right in with the other trash. Smell their exhaust through my open bedroom window. We have no air-conditioning. This already makes me way greener than almost all of you. How will you catch up to Eco-Me?

6:20 a.m.: Stand on my apartment balcony drinking green tea. I’d buy the fair-trade kind, but it doesn’t taste as good. And none of it tastes as good as grape soda. But that’s a sacrifice I make for the planet.

7 a.m.: Wash dishes from night before. Scrub the sink with environmentally friendly yet useless powder that is not as good as Comet. Feel despair over white enamel slowly turning brown.

8:30 a.m.: Morning walk with my husband/partner/whatever. My eco-suit = threadbare sweatpants, T-shirt my friend Lydia made for me that reads R. KELLY IS MAGIC, and most progressively, New Balance shoes that are not from Nike and therefore not glued together by child slaves. You’re welcome, child slaves.

10 a.m.: Commute to work—from the kitchen to my desk. Don’t hate me because I figured out a way to get paid for sitting around at home in my pajamas and never having to drive anywhere except to the grocery store that’s three blocks away.

11:30 a.m.: Drive to that grocery store. Bring own bags. While driving home think about how Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster is better than An Inconvenient Truth.
Noon: Eat lunch. Toss orange peel into the wrong trash can. Get berated by husband/partner/whatever. When he demands that I retrieve the peels, inform him I’ve already washed my hands and that to stick them into trash would mean rewashing them, and doesn’t he care about water, Mother Earth’s most precious resource? Watch as he sticks his own hands into the trash.

2:30 p.m.: Writer’s block. Need a snack. Organically harvested goji berries are gnarly, no matter how many antioxidants they have. Go to my local fancy bakery for some of those French macarons, like the kind Kirsten Dunst ate in Marie Antoinette. There’s nothing green about this except the color of the pistachio-flavored ones.

3:15 p.m.: Watch Oprah. She’s got a bunch of Dumpster-diving “freegans” on her show. Enjoy pausing TiVo each time she makes the “eww” face. Pay bills online while watching the show. Get tiny thrill at how superior and futuristic I am for not using paper or stamps.

5 p.m.: Go to a home store and spend a lot of money on one-of-a-kind shelves made from reclaimed wood. Bring them home and stack old issues of magazines on them.

Other than being dumpster freegans, there are some great ideas to live the "green" life in one's own way.

Gay men have been pioneers in recycling such items as used jock straps, leather, saliva and other stuff. So we don't have to buy the latest toy, trash stuff just because it isn't in style, follow the A gay crowd.

It is HOT to recycle. And I give my Mega Hairy Muscle Hug seal of approval to every guy who does so.

We Constantly Are Getting Screwed by "The Man" Whether We Like It or Not

2008-04-11T11:23:00.001-07:00

Gay Couples Face Extra Financial Challenges
April 08, 2008 02:21 PM ET Kimberly Palmer

It may pay to get married, but not everyone has that option. The Human Rights Campaign, a civil rights organization for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered, launched a campaign this week to bring attention to the financial challenges that same-sex couples are forced to deal with. The group points out that gay and lesbian couples lack the protection and benefits conferred by over 1,000 different federal provisions.

Among the disadvantages that gay couples face compared with legally married ones:
Unmarried couples often cannot include each other on employer-based health plans without paying tax penalties.

They often lack job protection when taking time off to care for their partner.
They can not give Social Security survivor benefits to their partner.
The campaign offers more information and tips for dealing with such challenges.

Yep as April 15th approaches, the hard, fast truth prevails. We pay far more taxes if we are a unmarried couple than our straight married couple counterparts do. It ain't fair, and it sucks.

Lurking Behind Those Hopeful Statistics About New HIV Cases Was A False Positive. Revised Stats Show, NEW HIV Cases Had Been Greatly Underestimated

2008-03-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

CDC announces sharp increase in U.S. HIV cases Agency says spike due to enhanced reporting; critics argue it shows prevention failures

By RYAN LEE, Southern Voice Mar 28, 12:45 PM

The number of people in the United States reported to have HIV increased by about 50 percent from 2005 to 2006, according to data released this week by the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.

In 2006, at least 52,878 Americans were reported having HIV, compared to 35,537 in 2005, according to the CDC's annual HIV/AIDS surveillance report. Experts said that part of the increase is due to large states like California and Illinois being included in the CDC's estimate for the first time, as well as increases in risky sexual behavior that are also being borne out in rising STD rates.

"The numbers are far higher than what's previously been reported," said Michael Weinstein, president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation in Los Angeles, in a teleconference Friday. "This means many more infections now and as far as the eye can see."

CDC officials were emphatic that the higher number of HIV cases reported "do not represent an increase in the epidemic."

"Instead, it's more about our surveillance system than any increase," CDC spokesperson Jennifer Ruth said Friday.

The CDC only recently tied HIV reporting to the amount of money states receive to fight HIV, meaning new numbers are beginning to come in as more states report HIV cases in compliance with CDC standards. In 2005, the CDC's HIV/AIDS surveillance report included data from 38 states and territories, compared to the 50 states and areas that contributed data to the 2006 surveillance report.

Georgia, which was one of the last states to conform to CDC's confidential name-based system for reporting HIV cases, ranked eighth in the number of HIV cases reported in 2006, according to the surveillance report.

The full scope of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Georgia is still unavailable due to the lag in reporting numbers, and it will be years until data trickles in from states to give CDC the most accurate picture of the epidemic in America, said Whitney Engeran, director of the public health division at AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

"We just don't know where this will end," Engeran said. "We could be seeing more and more numbers coming in from the CDC as more states come online, and, of course, that means more and more people being infected."

The increase in cases is occurring in the total number of HIV infections states report to the CDC, but other data suggests the actual prevalence of HIV is not rising, Ruth said.

"When you look at diagnoses by year, they remain stable for the last few years," Ruth said.
But the higher number of total cases is a "catastrophe" that reveals the misguided strategies of the government's HIV-prevention efforts, and the lack of CDC's leadership in marshaling a response to the epidemic, Weinstein said.

"The CDC has essentially hidden this information," said Weinstein, who believes that the dramatic increase in annual HIV infections will prompt a paradigm shift in how researchers view the disease's domestic impact.

"What are the implications of [the new higher estimate] in terms of human cost, financial cost and in terms of having an effective prevention campaign?" Weinstein said.

With all this finger pointing, it seems that valuable time has been lost in fighting the spread of HIV. Young gay men are most at risk, and it is a shame that due to a lack of better outreach, the old abstinence message has failed. Instead, there should be graphic instruction, using posters, erotic comics, soft porn, anything realistic that teaches them that it is sexy and indeed safer, to fuck with a condom hugging their erection. Safer sex using condoms is the ONLY way to fuck. NO ANDS, IFS OR BARE BACK BUTT FUCKS!!!!

A Flick To Keep In Mind for a Future Rainy Day Afternoon and Other Nuggets

2008-03-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

Howdy guys. Something to recommend as a coming attraction in your Netflix queue. A good flick, according to the review, for a cuddle buddy rainy afternoon.

By the way, I wish all of you an enjoyable Easter weekend. Hoping that the Hunky Easter Bunny hops by your house with an Easter basket filled of creamy treats to enjoy.

Relax, It's Just Sex

It’s what comes after that should make you a little nervous.
By Kyle Buchanan

From The Advocate April 8, 2008

A Four Letter WordDirected by Casper AndreasStarring Jesse Archer, Charlie David, and Cory GrantEmbrem Entertainment

For an inveterate party boy like A Four Letter Word’s Luke, sex is all-consuming -- at least until it’s over. Better at remembering body parts than faces, Luke (Jesse Archer) spends every New York minute on the prowl until he has a transformative encounter with a mysterious hunk named Stephen (Charlie David).

Something about this sex was different, Luke insists: “I think we even looked each other in the eyes.” A drama queen who speaks exclusively in bons mots, Luke can deflect any oncoming relationship with a well-placed quip -- but for Stephen, is he willing to make an exception?

Straight romantic comedies tend to save their kiss for the final reel, but the modern gay rom-com is a different breed. In these films the leads have moved well beyond kissing by act 2, and “I love you” is an obstacle, not a goal. Love isn’t just a four-letter word, it’s a test -- and one that many gay men, including Luke, keep putting off. After all, why should they work at a relationship when casual encounters come so easily?

Director Casper Andreas knows this terrain well, as you might expect from someone whose previous film was called Slutty Summer. What you might not expect is the level of wit in this modest production, which is so familiar and confident with its characters that it feels like the third season of a lost Logo series.

Archer and David are both appealing, but Cory Grant makes the strongest impression as Zeke, an activist who works with Luke and challenges him to justify his reputation as a “gay cliché.” Luke doesn’t pretend to have all the answers, but by the time things wrap up he’s matured just enough. He may not have passed the test yet, but at least he’s been studying.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Among Gay Men Go Underreported since sexually active Gay Men Skip Being Tested Annually

2008-03-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

From the article below, all the more reason to play safe and stay healthy.

Sex Diseases in Many Gay Men Go Unfound, Experts Say
'Many cases of sexually transmitted diseases are escaping detection because gay men are not being tested each year as advised, federal health officials said Wednesday.'

By LAWRENCE K. ALTMAN
Published: March 13, 2008
Many cases of sexually transmitted diseases are escaping detection because gay men are not being tested each year as advised, federal health officials said Wednesday. And if the men do show up, the officials added, many doctors and clinics are not following screening recommendations.

But more cases could be detected if the government approved new ways to use a type of DNA test that is already on the market, the officials and researchers said in a news conference at a scientific meeting in Chicago.

They said the test, used in new ways, could detect twice as many cases of gonorrhea and chlamydia as standard tests.
Those diseases, along with syphilis, whose incidence continues to increase, are “a major threat to gay and bisexual men’s health,” said Dr. Kevin Fenton, a top official of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Dr. Fenton noted that such diseases increased the risk of contracting and spreading H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS.

Screening for sexually transmitted infections is a critical part of medical care for sexually active men. The C.D.C. recommends annual blood tests for H.I.V. and syphilis, and other tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia.

Gonorrhea tests should include specimens from all potential sites of exposure — throat, genitals and rectum — because identifying and treating all such infections is essential for preventing spread of the disease.

“There are circumstances where the recommendations are not being followed,” said Dr. John M. Douglas Jr., who directs the Division of S.T.D. Prevention at the disease control centers.
Dr. Douglas added that some doctors did not recognize the problem while others seemed to think “that maybe the guidelines do not apply to my patient population.”

Supporting evidence came from C.D.C. researchers, who reported three studies at the meeting showing that the screening rates were too low.

Dr. Kristen Mahle’s study found that among gay men who showed no symptoms of gonorrhea, more than a third of rectal infections with the disease, and more than a quarter of throat infections, were missed because many were not tested at all anatomical sites of recent exposure.

Dr. Eric Tai’s study surveyed non-H.I.V.-positive gay men in 15 cities from 2003 to 2005 and found that only 39 percent reported having been tested for syphilis, and only 36 percent for gonorrhea.

Dr. Karen Hoover found that while doctors tested 82 percent of H.I.V.-positive gay men in eight cities for syphilis in 2005, they tested 22 percent or fewer for gonorrhea and chlamydia.
One problem is that public health departments that run sexual disease clinics do not have adequate staffs and budgets to do comprehensive testing.

“Let’s be honest, resources are a challenge at a federal, state and local level,” said Dr. Douglas, of the disease control centers. “We are trying to be as innovative as we can with public health resources,” but “we need help from others.”

Another problem is that newer tests are not being used as much as they should be, Dr. Douglas said.

The DNA test that Dr. Douglas and others described as promising is called NAAT, for nucleic acid amplification test. It is generally more accurate and easier to use, and it can detect at least twice as many gonorrhea and chlamydia infections in the throat and rectum, according to studies by Dr. Julius Schachter of the University of California, San Francisco, and others. Moreover, it is faster than the traditional bacterial culture tests.

The Food and Drug Administration has approved three NAATs to screen for gonorrhea and chlamydia in the genitalia, but not the throat or rectum.

Dr. Schachter’s team, which included the San Francisco Department of Public Health, sought to determine whether the marketed NAATs were also effective in throat and rectal screening.
The C.D.C. is working with the food and drug agency and with test manufacturers to gather, analyze and coordinate the submission of data for federal approval of NAATs for use in the throat and rectum.

The San Francisco Department of Public Health has conducted a study that met F.D.A. requirements for such use. Now the health department uses NAATs to test for chlamydia and gonorrhea at all three anatomic sites.

So guys, for all of our sakes, fuck with a condom, have plenty of foreplay, and love your partner as much as you love yourself. Enjoy each other for years to come.

The Launch of Gay Hotels with ATTITUDE and other travel tips.

2008-03-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Zurich) LGBT travelers who for years have complained there is a wide spectrum of quality among gay hotels may soon find a sign atop some that attest to high standards.

Attitude Hotels launched this week with the goal of providing travelers with a way a telling if a hotel is up to snuff.

Founder Pedro Castro, a Portuguese-born lawyer and travel marketer based in Zurich says the company would not own the hotels but license its name if the facility met its requirements.
Attitude would inspect the hotels and do annual follow-ups to assure the standards are being met.

Already some two dozen hotels that market to the LGBT community have been approved.
So far only two of the hotels are in the US - The Royal Palms and the Flamingo Inn, both in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. UK properties include London's Myhotel, Bloomsbury and Legends hotel in Brighton.

Castro said that the Attitude sign would guarantee the hotel is "the place to stay for discerning gay and lesbian travelers."

He said he expects to increase the number of hotels to about 100 and the Attitude Web site would allow people to see details of the properties, their location relative to LGBT neighborhoods, and the chance to book reservations online.

"In the short term, Attitude Hotels hopes to increase its selection of hotels, first in France, Italy, Greece and Spain," said Castro. "Thereafter, we will concentrate on providing a wider variety of travel possibilities in North America."

Hotels would be listed as Premium, Comfort, or Value, depending on price and amenities.
Castro said he came up with the idea for Attitude after discovering it was difficult to find good LGBT hotels and becoming disillusioned with the "gay-friendly" approach of many major hotel chains.
Surveys indicate that in the US alone LGBT spending power tops $65 billion a year.
More:
http://www.365gay.com/Newscon08/03/030708hotel.htm

Whether these accommodations will be too froo froo or within the tastes and standards of most of us remains to be seen.

But here's someplace where I think we could all hang our hats and enjoy ourselves.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/04/AR2008030403145.htmlThe Washington Post

In Texas, a Gay Bar's Patrons Toast Wednesday, March 5, 2008; C01GUN BARREL CITY, Tex., March 4 --

We Shoot Straight With You" is the slogan of this small, quiet, conservative town of 5,000 about 50 miles southeast of Dallas.

Which puts a wry, sardonic smile on the faces of the patrons of Friends, known throughout this lakeside area as the "friendliest gay bar in Texas."Defiant is one way to describe the joint. Gay bars usually hang a rainbow flag to signal that, well, this is a gay bar. At Friends, right off Gun Barrel Lane and situated across from the cemetery, the flag doesn't fly. It's not mere cloth. Instead, it's painted on a piece of wood nailed to the building -- which, by the way, is bright turquoise.

The Lone Star State has a sizable gay population, many of them concentrated in Austin, Houston and Dallas. But Friends is a more laid-back, welcoming place full of older, middle-class and mostly coupled-up patrons. Kind of like "Cheers," where everyone knows your name, except they're wearing T-shirts that read "I love Cowboys" and baseball caps from Budweiser with a small rainbow flag. Jokes Bobbie Aldridge, 67, a retired teacher: "This is like a community center. Or a retirement home."

Drag shows at Friends, with entertainers named Momma, D'Aundra and Sable Alexander, draw a crowd, mostly gay but also straight. (D'Aundra and Momma, a.k.a. Scott Denny, 36, and Gaylon Maddox, 52, are longtime partners. They're both nurses.)

Musical productions presented by the club's acting troupe, Friends Players, are renowned, too. Choreographed and directed by Jim Gribben, who's been coming to the club since it opened 18 years ago, the shows bring in money, which the club donates to charities for abused children and other causes. Gribben and Co. are now working on "Grease: The Later Years." Next comes their version of "Hee Haw."

Last October, Out magazine named Friends one of the 50 greatest gay clubs in the world.

Maybe next time anyone of us is in the area, we might want to check it out and share our own observations of this great gay watering hole. Sounds like a place I'd want to stop by and sit a spell.

Fat Chance That You'll Ever Want To Meet Up With Mr. Phoney Baloney

2008-03-01T04:55:00.000-08:00

The following sounds extreme, but it has happened and will happen in our cyberworld.

Sometimes a make-believe relationship is better than the real thing.
By Q. Allan Brocka

From The Advocate March 11, 2008

I knew my new boyfriend was fake right from the start. It was obvious: He had unbelievably sexy pictures, a modeling career, obscenely rich parents, an Ivy League education, and a brand-new record deal at a Big Label -- all at the age of 26. OK, maybe I could buy all that. But add the fact that he wanted to be with me and it was too good to be true.

Our romance began with an online message. He said something snarky. I said I liked his moxie. My jaw dropped at his too-hot-to-be-real JPEGs. Our one-liners continued as he sent a wide-enough range of pictures to convince me he was an actual person. Not that it mattered, with him in New York and me in Los Angeles.

HIM: This sucks, let’s talk on the phone.
ME: If you mean phone sex, not my thing.
HIM: Don’t be retarded.

He had me at retarded. He was charming, funny, and had a sexy voice and impressive vocabulary. I lay in bed and we talked for the next three hours. His name was Josh Alexander.* (*not his real name) (**not that he used his real name) (But it could have been Buzz or Bolt)

Josh spent seven years traveling the world as a fashion model. He’d invested his earnings well, and with his inheritance he was set for life. He had a knack for songwriting and sometimes performed at friends’ parties. (THE BULLSHIT IS PILING UP AT THIS POINT) (BUT WAIT,THERE'S MORE)

That’s where he was discovered by a music exec from Big Label, which was throwing tons of money behind him and his debut album. In fact, Big Label’s chairman was personally grooming him to be a rock star.

He enjoyed the fuss but ultimately didn’t give a shit about fame or the music business. His real dream was to open a Cuban-style catering company in Northern California. He wanted kids, a house, a giant kitchen, and me.

When we finally hung up, I was buzzing with that incredible high you can only get from a really good conversation. I smiled and thought, He’s totally fake.

The next day we chatted for two more hours. It became a nightly ritual. Over the next two months we shared every detail of our lives, the exciting to the mundane.

His stories ranged from his first runway job when he had no idea what the hell he was doing (as Giorgio Armani himself stitched him into a suit) to the time LL Cool J propositioned him in Paris. I knew how his parents met, about his father’s affair, his immigrant grandfather who built their fortune from nothing. I knew about his childhood, his brothers, and each of his ex-boyfriends. I knew more about Josh than most of my friends.

I decided, as long I didn’t spend money and wasn’t turning down actual dates, I had nothing to lose. When I’d tell him he was fake, he’d laugh and list attributes that made me seem too good to be true. I told you he was charming. Sometimes I’d ask random questions to test him. He always gave an impromptu but riveting answer. Then he’d bust me: “There, now do you think I’m real?”

One night he announced, “Guess who you’re having dinner with in three weeks?” Josh was finally coming to L.A.!

A week later he stopped calling and his online profile disappeared.

I called and e-mailed repeatedly. No response. I thought our finale would be more dramatic. Maybe I’d find proof he was fake or we’d have a disastrous first date.

But he simply vanished. When a friend randomly mentions he’s buddies with the founder of Big Label, I tell him my story and he offers to look into it. Turns out there is indeed a Josh Alexander, some guy in Florida who once submitted a demo to them. That’s it.

My friend suggests that Josh Alexander isn’t my fake boyfriend in New York. My fake boyfriend is likely someone who’s obsessed with Josh Alexander, because psychotic con artists tend to appropriate other people’s identities. And now that he knows all about my life, there’s a distinct possibility he’s pretending to be me with someone else.

It’s crazy, but despite the big fat lie part, my connection with my fake boyfriend still feels more substantial than most of my real relationships. Maybe it’s because I gave him chances that are hard to give when you’re looking someone in the eye. Maybe I finally heard the things I wanted someone to say. Or maybe I’m just into psychopaths, because, sad as it is, if my fake boyfriend called, I’d probably take him back.

NOT!!! Guys you are too smart to fall for such a set up. When a guy seems too good to be true, then maybe it's a sign to stand back. Hell, all of us have met this type of guy. Some of them are so transparent. Others are merely pathetic.

So just don't fall for the sweet talk and the pretty face. Like the commercial used to say, "Always Rely on Genuine GM Parts from Mr. GoodWrench". A guy that is handy with his toolbox is a guy to keep around. WOOF. Mega hairy muscle hugs and Happy March.

The Latest On the Harvey Milk Film, Scriptwriter, Dustin Lance Black

2008-02-23T07:55:00.000-08:00

The following is an article from the Bay Area Reporter on the screenwriter who is currently involved in the big screen pic about the life, loves and sad ending of the first modern day gay leader, Harvey Milk.

Castro couch-surfing with 'Milk' screenwriter Dustin Lanceby David Lamble It's late on a sunny Thursday morning in the Castro when a slim and radiantly beautiful young man, someone who would not seem out of place on the set of a Harry Potter movie, climbs the stairs of my Market Street flat, plops himself down on the worn, black couch, and explains why he's spent nearly half his life pursuing a dream to turn the life of a martyred gay politician into a film.

Dustin Lance Black is a polite and focused young man, a multi-talented writer/filmmaker who's spent the decade since college finding a creative platform to exorcise the demons of a complicated childhood spent boomeranging between military installations in the Central Valley and a Texas city that's home to the Alamo and his Mormon parents.

For the last couple of years, Black has been leading a kind of double life: by day, a staff writer for the wickedly funny HBO series Big Love, a witty satire on the cultural baggage shared by Utah's surviving polygamist families and the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints.

Weekends have found Black shooting up I-5, listening to a stack of opera CDs favored by his hero Harvey Milk, on a mission to track down every surviving member of Milk's political clan.For nearly a quarter century, the desire to fashion a fictional template for the slain gay politician's achingly brief career has tempted and ultimately frustrated talents from fabled director Oliver Stone to Milk biographer Randy Shilts.

To Black, the core of the problem has always been to locate the emotional heartbeat of the story, the elusive but vital role Milk has played in the imaginations of generations of queer kids looking for a father figure in the miasma of myth that has grown up around him.

"It was tough. It was clearly, in my mind, a gay movie. I wasn't so interested in the politics, I wasn't so interested in Dan White; I was interested in this man who, to me at least, was a father figure to his people to people who lost their fathers, their parents and their families because of their sexuality. Here was this father figure, and it was something I craved!"

Boy crushChildhood for Lance Black meant growing up in San Antonio, Texas, surrounded by military bases. "I had my first crushes on a boy neighbor when I was like six, seven. I knew what was going on, I knew I liked him, but what Texas did and what the culture of growing up Mormon, growing up military [reinforced], was, the very second thought I had, 'I really like that boy, and it's not just as a friend,' the very second thought was, 'I'm sick, I'm wrong, I'm going to hell. And if I ever admit it, I'll be hurt, and I'll be brought down.'"

It wasn't until college and he was well on his way to fulfilling his dreams that Black discovered an alternative to the mantras of guilt and silence, of duty and obedience promoted by the army and the church. He discovered his father figure; fittingly, for a boy yearning to be a filmmaker, he found him at the movies.

It was in the mid-90s that Black first saw Rob Epstein's Oscar-winning documentary, The Times of Harvey Milk. "When I was in high school, we moved from Texas to Salinas, California. My stepdad had been transferred to Fort Ord. I started getting into theatre and acting, working at The Western Stage down in the Salinas-Monterey area, coming up here for TV auditions, and getting to know, for the first time in my life, out gay men."It was the late 80s, early 90s, it wasn't a hopeful time in San Francisco. The one story of hope you did hear was about Harvey Milk, this one man who accomplished so much in a short period of time, and was really the charismatic leader that people were looking for when I was here.

"In college, when I first saw a copy of the documentary, I remember just breaking down into tears. I thought, 'I just want to do something with this, why hasn't someone done something with this?'"The key to the puzzle, to separating fact from fiction about Milk, lay in a chance introduction to the late supervisor's former aide and disciple Cleve Jones. Jones brought Black into the circle of Milk's political family: photographer Danny Nicoletta, Milk's one-time City Hall assistant and leather-jacketed friend Anne Kronenberg, and members of the Democratic Party machine whose grip on election success frustrated Milk's ambitions.Black admits to suffering from the professional screenwriter's greatest curse: the sprawling script that attempts to cover every possible facet of a hopelessly complex story. "You learn to kill your babies, whole scenes and chapters" must fall out of the script. In effect, "you're killing real people," excising colorful moments in Milk's life involving his eventual successor, Harry Britt; his 1976 race for an a state assembly seat in the Castro (lost to Art Agnos); and much of the vital battle to defeat the anti-gay-schoolteacher ballot initiative sponsored by right-wing state senator John Briggs.

For Black, one of the hardest tasks was not to oversimplify Milk's often tortured emotional journey. He pruned more than a dozen boyfriends down to two indispensable lovers: Scott Smith, perhaps the one true love (played in the film by Indiewood heartthrob James Franco); and one of Harvey's last flames, the mercurial Jack Lira (Mexican filmmaking sensation Diego Luna), the boyfriend who stood arm-in-arm with Milk as the newly elected "Mayor of Castro Street" joined his friends and neighbors in a joyful stroll down Market Street to an outdoor swearing-in ceremony. As Milk once quipped, "Sex entered into it, on the front page of The Examiner, there's Supervisor Harvey Milk with his lover."

Through the travail of draft after draft, as the Milk script was winnowed down to the core beats about the man, Black never forgot the little boy from San Antonio whose Texas childhood shadowed his dreams. "Texas kept me very quiet. I became intensely shy, I had thoughts of suicide. I was a pretty dark kid, because I had an acute awareness of my sexuality, and was absolutely convinced that I was wrong.

In his Hope Speech, Harvey Milk says, 'There's that kid in San Antonio, and he heard tonight that a gay man was elected to public office, and that will give him hope.' And when I first heard that speech, it really did that. It really, really gave me hope, for the first time."

I've been waiting for this big screen adaptation of Harvey Milk's life for a long time.

I hope none of us will be disappointed. Since Harvey's death, there has never been a "national" gay leader to take his place. Maybe this movie will inspire that special person to become a national gay leader and help win the right of LGBT to marry in every state in the Union.

We can only be so hopeful.

If It's in Print,then It Must Be True. Study Finds That Committed Same-Sex Couples Are More Satisfied With Each Other than Married Hetero Couples

2008-02-15T06:05:00.001-08:00

SAN DIEGO -- A study from San Diego State University suggests that committed same-sex couples are more satisfied with their partners than married heterosexual couples.

The study surveyed same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions and married heterosexual couples, over a three-year period.

Results of the study showed that same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, intimacy and lower levels of conflict than married couples.

"If you think about same sex couples, you have two women or two men, who were raised in more similar ways. They're both from 'Mars,' both from 'Venus,' and so it's actually not surprising that when it comes to relationship satisfaction they do better," said Esther Rothblum, SDSU professor.

"Because of this they may not have to negotiate the huge barriers that men and women do in terms of how they view conflict, provide emotional support or handle childrearing," said Rothblum.

According to the study, same-sex couples were indistinguishable from heterosexual married couples on many other relationship variables, including the number of children, sexual behavior and frequency of contact with their parents with or without their partners.

This was the first study to follow same-sex couples in civil unions over time. It was published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology.

Well, finally a study that gets it right. Happy buddy body bonding. WOOF.

Some Last Minute Valentine's Day Suggestions To Surprise Your Snuggly Honey Buns

2008-02-08T14:09:00.001-08:00

Thought I'd share with you some fun ways for you and your sweetie to celebrate Valentine's Day this year. For those of you who have been reading my blog posts over the years, I am, I admit, a romantic at heart.

So that's why I love to celebrate Valentine's Day. It is the one day that you can show a loved one that you think of him in that special way.

So indulge yourself, make rich, chocolate a part of the celebration.

Here I have shared with you two items that I have found over the internet.

I'm not endorsing a product or vendor, just suggesting some ideas.

Chocolate body paint seems to be a very hot item this year.

So why not try it on yourself and your man. I really think a lot of tongue licking fun can be share between you.

And don't forget the whipped cream and cordial cherry on top for the crowning touch.

All of this foreplay will lead to some climatic bursts of creamy enjoyment. And don't worry about the calories, guys. All of that energy expended into the creamy passionate spooning and licking will more than offset any calorie intake. That I can promise. Cross my heart.

I can bet on that. I wish all of you sweet pleasures and Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs of Valentine Day love.

There's a fuzzy cupid out there just ready to point his long firm arrow that's shielded with a chocolate favored condom into your love cave. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

There Are Mighty Big Holes in This Swiss Twist Mix-Up Where HIV-Positive Sexual Partners Having Unprotected Sex Are Defined As Practicing Safer Sex

2008-02-01T07:15:00.000-08:00

Swiss change safe sex message on HIVSay people with virus can have unprotected sex with partnersGENEVA (AP) Jan 31, 3:15 PM

Swiss AIDS experts said Thursday that some people with HIV who meet strict conditions and are under treatment can safely have unprotected sex with non-infected partners.

The proposal astonished AIDS researchers in Europe and North America who have long argued that safe sex with a condom is the single most effective way of preventing the spread of the disease — apart from abstinence.

"Not only is (the Swiss proposal) dangerous, it's misleading and it is not considering the implications of the biological facts involved with HIV transmission," said Jay Levy, director of the Laboratory for Tumor and AIDS Virus Research at the University of California in San Francisco.

The Swiss National AIDS Commission said patients who can satisfy strict conditions, including successful antiretroviral treatment to suppress the virus and who do not have any other sexually transmitted diseases, do not pose a danger to others. The proposal was published this week in the Bulletin of Swiss Medicine.

The Swiss scientists took as their starting point a 1999 study by the U.S. Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention, which showed that transmission depends strongly on the viral load in the blood.

The other studies had also found that patients on regular AIDS treatment did not pass on the virus, and that HIV could not be detected in their genital fluids.

"Let's be clear, the decision has to remain with the HIV-negative partner," said Pietro Vernazza, head of infectious diseases at the cantonal hospital of St. Gallen in Switzerland and an author of the report.

The studies cited by the Swiss commission did not themselves definitively conclude whether people with HIV and on antiretroviral treatment could safely have unprotected sex without passing on the virus.

The World Health Organization said Switzerland would be the first country in the world to try this approach.

"There is still some concern that you can never guarantee that somebody will not be infectious, and the evidence I have to say is not conclusive," said Charlie Gilks, director of AIDS treatment and prevention at WHO.

"We are not going to be changing in any way our very clear recommendations that people on treatment continue to practice safer sex, including protected sex with a condom, in any relationship," he added.

In any case, of the 2 million people worldwide now receiving HIV treatment, only a very small number receive medical care comparable to that in Switzerland, Gilks said.

This is a crazy, insane notion proposed by the Swiss. I can't believe a powerful and influencial body like the Swiss National AIDS Commission could reach such a conclusion.

And with such a romantic holiday, Valentine's Day, coming up, this definitely sends a mixed message.

Stay Clean by Playing Clean

2008-01-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

The following article is from the New York Observer. What do you think?

At 3 a.m. on a recent Sunday morning, the East Village gay bars were real dead. There had been rumors of a sporadic back room—that's the lingo for "blacked-out broom closet where dudes get it on"—at Nowhere, a casual basement bar on 14th Street between First and Second avenues.

That night, the alleged back room was a well-lit coat check. The Phoenix, down the road on 13th Street, was surprisingly empty at a little after 3 a.m.; only a handful of patrons, most with friends, were about. Phoenix is the East Village bar of choice for the young bearded set, the semi-free young things. Behind the velvet curtain obscuring the view into the Urge, down on Second Avenue and Second Street, some real tawdry jockstrap-clad strippers gyrated on the bar; friends drank. The oddly suburban lounge was moderately fuller.

The Urge's even-darker and worse-smelling neighbor, the Cock, was a bit more boisterous; a knot of dozens of boys were too thick to get through, but they were leaving in singles and groups and sometimes even pairs pretty fast by 3:45 a.m. A few blocks north, on Fourth Street, the Bijou, also known as Club 82, which is a longtime porno theater/sex club with grubby black cubicles, had its roll-down gate locked—something you would never have seen in the 90's.

("Where East Village boys go when they want to cheat on their husbands," says the 1994 edition of "Betty and Pansy's Severe Queer Review of New York." Not anymore!) It's hard to find the public scene for this epidemic—the kind we were trained to recognize years ago as looking something like a scene from Cruising with Al Pacino. And yet 651 gay men aged 13 to 29 tested positive in 2005; 693 did so in 2006.

At least 30 percent of all people testing positive had been infected in the previous six months.

Where is this happening?The report from the city, which shows that the number of new H.I.V. diagnoses among gay men under 30 has been greater each year since at least 2001, spurred a New York Times editorial this week. The paper noted past public health successes:

"From San Francisco to New York, bathhouses notorious for promoting casual sex changed the way they did business or closed down." Some allowed monitoring, few closed—more opened!—and they put a bucket of condoms in the entryway. But having been to bathhouses in Phoenix, San Francisco, Fort Lauderdale and New York City the author has never seen any zealous adherence to safe-sex guidelines, or any intrusion in the ability there to have non-safe sex beyond some helpful (and correct) advice from the occasional social-worker types. That The Times believes in that success fairy tale should make it unsurprising that the city's health department probably does, too.

The connection between a rise in H.I.V. in young men and bathhouses and sex parties is still unproven. But closing them or clamping down on them is always the first response to flare-ups in the epidemic.The gay- and AIDS-service organizations want to make sure that these rising infection rates do not result in the shuttering of bathhouses, because where else can they reach the at-risk populations they are pledged to serve? And other times it only drains resources on a public relations spectacle.

At a meeting held at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center on West 13th Street last week, Joshua Volle, the former director of H.I.V. Prevention Planning at the city's health department, described the city's position on AIDS prevention among these increasingly at-risk young men. "They are very much looking at this from a medical model, and the medical model says shut them down," he said, according to a report in the gay weekly Gay City News. "They don't have the resources to do it, but their intent is to shut them down. ...

These are my words, they are on a witch hunt." And now that a new horror-show strain of "flesh-eating bacteria" has been catalogued over the past few years in gay men in San Francisco and Boston (the results were published in the upcoming issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine), the city will presumably enact any public health measures it might wish. (After all, it's a drug-resistant ass plague. What's … next? Ass locusts?)

The city will be scrutinizing the smuthouses closely in the coming months. There will be the bathhouses, small places like the West Side Club in Chelsea, and sex parties, of which there are dozens, and include the NY Jockparty ("You can bring your own alcohol and poppers if you like. DRUGS ARE NEVER ALLOWED!"). Fifty-eight people attended a recent event of theirs on New Year's Day, according to an e-mail from its proprietor.

That's about how many people were in the Cock on Saturday. Meanwhile, Manhunt.net, the leading gay hookup site, limits search results listings to 1,500 active members—and a search for men online in New York City generally returns the full 1,500. (On Monday afternoon, it dropped to 1,440 active members; on Tuesday morning, it fell to a bit more than 1,100.)

Give or take, a third or so of the members list themselves as 30 years old or younger; a similar number identify as H.I.V. positive.Like a small-town newspaper puzzled at its declining readership, the city doesn't know how to get on the Internet to conduct its business. The logic guiding the City is that if venues that receive complaints that violate the sanitary code are shut down, then there will be no opportunity for sex acts to occur.

"It's not bad logic," said Mr. Volle, who has become an ordained interfaith minister and is doing some consulting work designing and evaluating HIV programs, "but it doesn't take into consideration the private sex parties that are growing in leaps and bounds, and going further and further underground. What's happening is it's making it more and more difficult for the community-based organizations to get in to the New York City-based sex parties and create a harm reduction atmosphere."

On Craigslist, one outreach worker from Harlem United has been sensibly and gently intruding, posting every few days that he is there to answer "ANY questions." He writes: "I'm a pretty laid-back dude, no judgments, just info and str8 up answers." On Saturday at 6 p.m., a Craigslist posting in the Manhattan M4M section went up, with the headline "HSV2+ HPV+ HIV- Young Attractive Guy Looking - 20.""Anyone else out there with these rediculous std's? I have HSV2 (genital herpes) and HPV viruses from the few sexual encounters I've experienced and would not wish them on others," wrote the poster. "Anyone honest enough and in a similar boat?

Young and attractive perhaps? I might be reaching for the stars but hey its NYC why not try." Did this breaking of social customs work?"Nobody is honest about it," the poster wrote in an e-mail, describing the responses he received. "I have no luck meeting anyone."

He'll do better if he lies. NOT!!!

I commend guys who keep themselves clean and play safer using condoms. But this viscious spread of STD's makes playing very, very risky.

So guys, try not to go blindly into a sexual tryst. It's not only the crabs we're talking about, it's much,much more.

Buddy body bonding should be fun, not a horror story. Treat your body as a temple so that other hot guys can worship it safely. WOOF

Making This New Year The Best Ever

2008-01-11T10:22:00.000-08:00

Howdy guys and a super Happy New Year to Each and Every One of you.

Hoping your New Year so far has been fantastic and fulfilling. WOOOF.

To start off the New Year, it's time for a Top 10 list.

David Goulart of the Edge New England shares his thoughts on the Top Ten Gay Myths.

Enjoy!!!

From Edge New England TOP 10 GAY MYTHSby David Goulart
Sunday Jan 6, 2008

1. The myth of gay recruitment. I can and did find a spouse from the existing pool of gay people the Creator created. I am not out to convert you or your kids. Don't want to. Don't need to. God gave me plenty of people to choose from. I chose one already.

Yes, God gave us gaydar. We need to practice using it more. Use it or lose it, as the saying goes.

2. Being gay is about more than sex. My gayness is based in love, notsex. I have an emotional, intimate connection with my spouse. Sure, we have sex, but it doesn't define us as a couple, or as people. I admire him for his kindness, his honesty, his commitment to his family, his intelligence, and dedication to OUR family to name just a few.

But when it cums to sex, what glorious, safer sex levels of enjoyment and intimacy it can be.

3. Pedophiles come in all forms. There are "bad gay people" just as there are "bad straight people." We've got some pedophiles among our group; so do you - you actually have MORE. Can we agree to focus on fighting pedophilia? Gay, straight. Doesn't matter. Pedophiles are bad for kids.

Amen. Pedophiles need help to control their disease.

4. The gay community is diverse. We are not all men in leather thongs with feather boas dancing on top of Gay Pride Parade floats. We're not all male, all white, all rich or all anything else.

We are the rainbow, we are the world. So straights, get used to it. By the way, WOOOF, keep the leather thong and studed jockstrap, drop the feather boas.

5. Some of us believe in God. If James Lipton of the Actor's Studio ever has occasion to interview me, I have a ready-made answer to one of his standard questions. When I arrive at Heaven's Pearly Gates, the first thing I hope to hear God say is: "Yes, David, you have a reservation -but I'm afraid I don't see Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell on the list."The God I believe in is loving, libratory and downright radical. (and I know wishing hell on anyone isn't exactly a demonstration of loving).

Couldn't agree more.

6. I already can get married in a church. Some Christian denominations allow for this. Others don't. I'm not asking your church to bless me and my spouse. When it comes to "gay marriage," all we're after is the civil stuff. You know, things like having the rights of a spouse when my partner's dying in the hospital. Being able provide for my partner should I pass away and not worry about a distant relative taking thehouse and more. Those sorts of things.

One day, we all shall the right to marry the loves of our lives in any type of ceremony, civil, religious, or otherwise.

7. Slurs go both ways (pun intended.) The gay community has names foryou, too. I won't call you a "breeder," if you don't call me a "sodomite" or "faggot."

Using Queer to self define us is an acceptable all encompassing term. Daddies, bears, fuzzies, woof, and other expressions are terms of endearment.

8. Rainbows belong to us. Please quit putting rainbow stickers on yourcars. Please quit hanging rainbow flower leis on your rear view mirrors.Contrary to popular belief, not all of us are equipped with 100-percent accurate gaydar, and if you have rainbows all over your person or property, we may well assume you are a "member of the family."

Like lojack, there should be a better way to spot gay hunks on the open highway, aside from the blue and gold equal sign bumper stickers.

9. We have the same problems you do. We worry about making a living, putting food on the table, paying the bills, staying healthy, getting ahead just like you do. Just because many of us walk around with a huge smile and seem to be optimistic doesn't mean we are not worried on the inside. It does not mean life is a basket of daisies, we just choose to keep our problems private.

So true, so true. And that's why I hope our votes will count this year. After all, "it's the economy, stupid!!!!", as we seek changes in our country from our Presidential aspirants.

10. We notice your inconsistencies. If you really, really don't like gay people and think gay sex is disgusting, quit buying porn with women having sex with women. (That's gay sex. In some cases, it's bisexual sex, if a real - not plastic - penis is involved.) Americans spend a billion dollars a year on porn; it's been a long time since someone produced a "straight" porn film that didn't have two women going at it.If you quit buying this stuff, maybe the porn industry would fold -something that, I think, might benefit women across all orientations.

Safer Gay sex is fuckin awesome. Definitely worth repeating.

I'd like to add some of my own observations as well as add some others to the list.

11. Only bottom boys have bubble butts. NOT!!! I can show you plenty of top guys with hot buns. Too bad they are only for looking and not fucking. I guess all of that ramming action keeps top guy's butts from sagging.

12. Safer sex is boring. NOT!!!! Fucking with a condom and incorporating foreplay in the sexplay is the hottest form of m2m sex around. Something that I hope more guys resolve to enjoy in the New Year.

Well, there you have it. Feel free to express your own observations.

Mega hairy muscle hugs everyday to make this world a better place to live.

Hoping We Never Live Through Another Year Like This One!!!

2007-12-20T04:55:00.000-08:00

The Sissy Awards

What a gay year 2007 was!!!! Can't wait to see how 2008 turns out for the gay history book.

Every year we have to endure our fair share of idiots, but this year takes the cake. So we here at The Advocate have reinstated our annual sissy awards, recognizing those who show arrogant stupidity, dishonesty, or just a severe lack of spine. From Paris Hilton to Peter Pace, let's give it up for this year's winners losers.
By Alonso Duralde
From The Advocate January 15, 2008

Sissy Political Party -- The Republicans

If there’s one thing right-wing pols like better than blocking gay rights, it’s having gay sex. And 2007 gave us multiple orgasms:U.S. senator Larry Craig introduced us to the term “wide stance” when he was busted in a Minnesota airport for putting the moves on an undercover cop in the next stall. Craig pled guilty but held on to his seat (no, the one in the Senate).National Association of Evangelicals president Ted Haggard, outed as a regular customer by a gay hustler, magically became heterosexual after just three weeks in rehab. Lindsay Lohan would kill her dealer for results like that.

Glenn Murphy Jr., newly elected chair of the Young Republican National Federation, resigned in August after his arrest for performing oral sex on a sleeping acquaintance. In 1998 he’d committed a similar crime on a dude whose girlfriend was in the same room!Florida state representative Bob Allen offered to pay an undercover cop $20 to let Allen give him a blow job in a restroom. Preferring to play it racist rather than gay, Allen claimed he’d acted out of fear of the African-American men hanging out nearby. Result: He looked racist, gay, and stupid. Allen had been John McCain’s presidential campaign cochair for Florida.

Sissy Extracurricular Activity of the Year -- Public bathroom sex

Jim Naugle, mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., lobbied his city to spend $250,000 on “robo-toilets” in order to discourage gay men from having sex in public restrooms. Naugle said he was fighting to keep gays from taking over the city. Only two problems with that reasoning: There’d been no recent arrests for sex in restrooms, and anyway, Jim, it’s not so much gay men in all those stalls -- it's guys like the 20 men arrested in one month at a New York roadside restroom. Nineteen of them (including a Rotary Club president) were married. The 20th? A Catholic priest.

Sissy Vacation Destination -- Fort Lauderdale

Gay visitors to the Florida vacation spot have more to worry about than automated pissoirs. You might get verbally queer-bashed at the airport. In May, as a law professor and his partner waited for their luggage, a voice on the P.A. system started reading from Leviticus, saying, “A man who lies with another man as he would a woman is subject to death.” The mystery evangelist did not share the Bible’s views about parking in a red zone.

Sissy Grandpa -- Vice President Dick Cheney

Mary Cheney had a baby in May, and Mary’s proud papa huffed to interviewers that any questions about the blessed event were “out of line.” Does the VP know his alleged boss referred to Mary and her partner, Heather Poe, as the child’s “parents” on the White House website?

Second Verse, Sissy as the First -- Pope Benedict XVI

It wouldn’t be a sissy roundup without the pederast enablers at the Vatican. Prada-wearing devil Pope Benedict XVI reminded us that the Roman Catholic Church’s opposition to gay marriage is “nonnegotiable,” and an archbishop kicked in that same-sex marriage is “evil.” Meanwhile a Vatican monsignor, caught on hidden camera making advances to a youth, claimed that he was only pretending as part of his ministry. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Sissy Word of the Year -- FAGGOT!

An oldie but a goodie, this epithet had a banner year in 2007. Isaiah Washington allegedly used the word on the set of Grey’s Anatomy, definitely used it at the Golden Globes telecast, then went into “gay rehab” and hired a gay publicist. Results: Washington got fired, GLAAD got a new celebrity PSA, and classy costar T.R. Knight got better story lines.

Media opportunist Ann Coulter hurled the faggot taunt at John Edwards, leading to a public smackdown from the awesome Elizabeth Edwards and, regrettably, lots more TV time for Coulter. CBS Sports college basketball announcer Billy Packer -- who, with a name like that, obviously has issues -- used the term “fag out” on Charlie Rose. Rose’s viewers were so shocked they woke up.

Sissy Candy of the Year -- Snickers

Remember this fun Super Bowl commercial? Two mechanics eat a Snickers bar from opposite ends and wind up accidentally meeting in a kiss. Ew! To restore the manly vibe, one of them slams a car hood down on his buddy’s head. On the Snickers website folks enjoyed three other versions of the ad, all violent, plus clips of Super Bowl players watching the spots and making faces of disgust when the dudes kiss. Sweet!

MY comment: I still think this commerical wasn't bad and could have been really hot, except for the ending. How childish.

Sissy Sportsman of the Year -- Tim Hardaway

When retired NBA player John Amaechi came out, ex-player Tim Hardaway favored a radio interviewer with the following: “Well, you know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known, I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. Yeah, I’m homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world for that or in the United States for that. So yeah, I don’t like it.” Hardaway later said he’s sorry. But we knew that already.

Sissy Cinema -- Tie: Wild Hogs and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Because you can’t really choose between a midlife-crisis movie about four suburbanites who love to wear leather and ride motorcycles but are TOTALLY IN NO WAY GAY and a comedy about two straight firemen who get civil-unionized for the health benefits but are TOTALLY IN NO WAY GAY.

My comment: These flicks were so awlful, they should be forever forgotten.

Sissy Celebrities -- Mark Wahlberg and John Travolta

Of course, actors were perfectly capable of saying stupid things even if they weren’t appearing in awful movies:Former underwear model Mark Wahlberg says he turned down the chance to be in Brokeback Mountain because the script “creeped him out.” Mind you, this is the guy who said yes to Four Brothers and The Truth About Charlie.

Wild Hogs star John Travolta told the press there was “nothing gay” about Hairspray. Except its gay director. And the gay director of the original movie. And the gay men who wrote the songs. And several of its stars. My comment: So John is "gay for pay"?

Sissy Stud -- Marine Corporal Matt Sanchez

The Iraq War vet became a right-wing poster boy when he complained about being silenced by student activists at Columbia University. After he posed for pictures with the sulfur-reeking Ann Coulter and took his conservative-victim shtick to Fox News, it turned out Sanchez was already a celebrity in gay circles -- as man-on-man porn star Rod Majors and as (shades of Jeff Gannon) an escort. Shut up!

My comment: This is a sad commentary of a gay man who can't handle being gay. A real loser, in my book.

Sissy Waste of Space -- Paris Hilton

Arrests aside, it was still a spotty year for the heiress (and onetime grand marshal of the Los Angeles gay pride parade). In early 2007 an old tape surfaced in which she used both the n and f words; in September, paparazzi video showed Hilton stepping into a puddle and observing, “Oh, my God, I have, like, AIDS.”

Sissy Bloviator -- Bill O’Reilly

Fox’s star windbag keeps claiming he “gets it” about gays. Oh, really? Check out these O’Reilly insights:There’s a “national underground network” of lesbians terrorizing the nation, raping women, randomly attacking hetero men, and indoctrinating young girls. (O’Reilly later admitted this was “overstated.”)

It was “insane” and “inappropriate” for the San Diego Padres to host a gay pride night at the same game where kids under 12 got free hats. “Thousands of gay adults showed up and commingled with straight families,” he reported.

J.K. Rowling is a “provocateur” for saying that Harry Potter’s Professor Dumbledore is gay. Huffed O’Reilly: “Many parents are worried in America about the gay agenda and indoctrination of their children to see homosexuality in a certain way.” (In this same segment, O’Reilly had to be told that Rowling is a woman.)

My comment: This guy is a dumb-ass, and should forever be ignored.

Stop-the-Presses Sissies -- The Hollywood Reporter and Reuters

Both tried to yank THR writer Ray Richmond’s obituary of Merv Griffin because it discussed Griffin’s homosexuality -- the worst-kept secret in show business outside Kenny Rogers’s face-lifts.

My comment: As a little kid watching this show in the late afternoons, I had my first experience with gaydar. What a flamming queen.

Sissy Internationale -- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

At a speech at Columbia University, the Iranian president claimed that his country had no homosexuals. Not true, actually -- but not for lack of trying on Ahmadinejad’s part.

Four-star Sissy -- Gen. Peter Pace

During his tenure as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Pace called homosexuality “immoral” and compared it to adultery. Pace did not comment on rumors that his mother wears combat boots.

Senatorial Sissy -- Dianne Feinstein

Whatever mojo the California senator got out of shakily announcing the murder of Harvey Milk officially expired when the right-leaning Democrat -- “Joe Lieberman in a dress,” to some wags -- jumped the aisle and approved the nomination of Judge Leslie Southwick for the fifth circuit court of appeals. Southwick had advocated removing gay parents’ biological children from their homes.

Supersissy -- Spirit Warriors

After Marvel Comics finally stopped slapping an adults-only label on any comic book with a gay or lesbian character, born-again actor Stephen Baldwin -- a.k.a. the boring Baldwin -- promoted his crappy Jesus-y graphic novel Spirit Warriors in this press release: “With the most prominent comic book company lightening up its rating system, how can parents be sure their youngsters won’t get their hands on age-inappropriate material?”

Shabbat Sissies -- Haredi Rabbis and Followers

After extremist rabbis from the Eda Haredit sect put a curse on Jerusalem Pride, a Jerusalem city council member and representative of the city’s gays and lesbians received death threats; his phone number had been posted on Haredi Web forums. Moments before the pride parade began, police arrested an ultra-Orthodox Jewish man carrying an explosive device.

“Who Would Jesus Smear?” Sissies --

Focus on the Family and the American Family Association When former Joint Chiefs chairman John Shalikashvili came out against “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the good folks at Focus and AMA painted the U.S. Army general as a dupe of homosexual activists who took advantage after he suffered a debilitating stroke. The stroke, alas, happened in 2004.

And there you have it, the very worst of being gay in 2007. How we all endured this, is any one's guess.

I wish all of your MEGA Hairy Muscle hugs of peace, love and Christmas and Holiday joy, and here's hoping that 2008 will be less stressful and less divisive.

Gay on Saturday night, Straight on Sunday afternoon. Is That Any Kind of Life, Switching One's Sexuality ON and OFF,to Suit The Mood or Situation?

2007-12-14T10:46:00.000-08:00

The following discussion has been getting a lot of traction in the blog world this past week?

Do you think something like this could happen, or is it something from the pages of the Twilight Zone?

Turning Homosexuality On and Off
By John Tierney

What if you could take a drug that would quickly alter your sexual orientation from straight to gay, or vice versa?

To their surprise, neurobiologists have discovered that homosexuality can be turned on or off in fruit flies. They’d known that sexual orientation can be genetically programmed, but they didn’t realize it could also be altered by giving a drug that changes the way the flies’ sensory circuits react to pheromones.

Within hours of the treatment, previously heterosexual male fruit flies would be courting other males, and treatment could also cause flies who had been engaging in homosexual behavior to become exclusively heterosexual, the neurobiologists report in Nature Neuroscience. You can read a summary of it here from the University of Illinois at Chicago, the home of one of the researchers, David Featherstone.

“It was amazing,” Dr. Featherstone said. “I never thought we’d be able to do that sort of thing, because sexual orientation is supposed to be hard-wired. This fundamentally changes how we think about this behavior.”

The writer asked Dr. Featherstone if it might be possible one day to quickly alter humans’ sexual orientation. Here’s his answer:

"Although I am not sure my research is a big step in this direction, I think that ultimately the answer will be: Yes. After all, the goal of neuroscience is a complete understanding of brain function. Understanding in science is typically demonstrated by the ability to control a process."

"This morning, I received an email from a transsexual 5 years into her hormone therapy. She told me she regularly modifies her libido and orientation with diet and drugs. She even sent me a scientific reference explaining why her regimen might work. Now that is amazing research. "

The question of whether or not homosexuality should be turned on and off is not a scientific question. It is an ethical/societal dilemma. I am glad my work is stimulating the discussion earlier rather than later. History is replete with poorly thought out attempts to ‘cure’ societal/behavioral ‘illnesses’ that turned out, with proper perspective, to not be ‘illnesses’ at all.
So let the discussion begin. The author doesn't think of homosexuality or heterosexuality as an “illness” to be “cured,” but I wonder how people would use the ability to control sexual orientation — to have a designer libido.

Would some people, gay or straight, who weren’t having luck attracting one gender decide to switch to the other? Would some people casually switch back and forth?

Would some social conservatives (like Leon Kass), who normally object to biologists “playing god” and pharmacologists altering “human nature,” change their minds and urge the use of biotechnology to promote heterosexuality?

Would some social liberals try to restrict the use of this biotechnology? Would parents, gay or straight, want to regulate their children’s sexual orientation — and should they or their children be allowed to do so?

187 comments so far...

This is something that some guys, I would believe, would experiment with, to explore their "straight " side. For me personally, I wouldn't even be interested. I like who I am, and I like the fact that I enjoy loving and having sex with men, men who share my same plumbing, and who I have a lot of experience in making sure certain parts of the male anatomy are functioning to perfection. WOOOF. To me, there isn't any better way. To male buddy body bonding, may it continue to flourish and expand to the end of time.

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-12-07T07:22:00.001-08:00

Ten Things Every Gay Man Should Know. Wow, This Is Way Too Easy. What about the other 59?

2007-12-07T05:52:00.000-08:00

Something I thought I'd share with you. Our lives can't be that easy.

10 things every gay man should know Filed by: Bill Browning December 3, 2007 1:27 PM

Don't you wish being gay came with an owner's manual sometimes? Wouldn't it make things so much easier if we just had a checklist?

In that spirit, Bill shares with us what he considers to be the top ten things every gay man should know.

1. You will never find "the one" by trolling for sex on Manhunt.

2. Just because you're part of a minority group doesn't mean you know how all other minorities feel.

3. Some churches don't think you're sinful and in need of redemption.

4. You don't have to be married to be in a committed relationship.

5. HIV/AIDS is a gay disease. So are cancer, leukemia, bipolar disorderand cerebral palsy.

6. Just because you're "straight-acting" doesn't mean you're better than someone who's not.

7. Dick size does matter, but not as much as knowing how to use what you've got.

8. You are not the spokesperson for our cause. Others might have a different experience.

9. Steel Magnolias is not the best movie ever made. Neither is Brokeback Mountain.

10. Ass-less chaps are not appropriate evening wear for a fancy restaurant.

Now they tell me. I was thinking about wearing my chaps bare butt and booted later today for my post-opp visit with my surgeon.

Hey guys, last week I had two hernias repaired. I guess that's the down side of being a top man.

But I am feeling much better having them repaired, than I did before the operation. I'm still pretty much black and blue, so that's not a pretty sight.

Mega hairy muscle hugs to you guys. Hoping all is well, sexy, and horny with each and every one of you, studs. WOOF.

World AIDS Day 2007. A Grim Reminder of the Nightmare Gay Men Continue to Live With, and Will Continue to, Unless, Commonsense Prevails

2007-12-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

Today, marks yet another observance of World AIDS Day. This is one observance that I wish, would no longer have to take place. But it will, as long as, safer sex is not practiced.

I have continuously advocated safer sex as a reoccurring theme throughout the existence of this blog. I have begged, made numerous examples of hot alternatives to unsafe sex, pleaded, whatever, to draw attention to why the spread of HIV among gay men can never be condoned. It has to be condemned and the only way to fuck safely is by using condoms.

Yes, new revised UN statistics make the disease less threatening and less of an epidemic. I guess, for that, we should be grateful. But this really doesn't matter if one more gay man is infected today and tonight.

So, if there is a gay god, please sprinkle some cautious fairy dust among all gay men having sex to prevent the spread of any more infection tonight.

I cringe when this observance falls on Saturday, because this night makes gay men seem more vulnerable to unsafe sex temptation. If only all gay men getting together tonight could give each other mega hairy muscle hugs and body bond safely, with a lot of hot foreplay, and wake up tomorrow in each others arms, knowing that they survived the night without getting infected.

Then I would become a true believer in fairy tales.

This is What I Don't Call, Buddy Body Bonding

2007-11-19T07:39:00.000-08:00

Posted on November 19, 2007 at 5:14 am (PST)

CNN aired this incredible tape of two gay men fist fighting in the middle of the freeway in Phoenix, Arizona. Notice how no one stops to intervene. One of the guys tried to throw himself into traffic, but then his self esteem sunk even lower after he failed to kill himself. Neither guy was hit buy traffic, but they were both arrested on domestic violence charges because they admitted to being "boyfriends," as CNN likes to avoid the "gay" word. Drama drama drama

This is exactly the kind of behavior that I can't tolerate within the gay male tribe. This public blowup shows that these guys truly deserve each other. Better them being together than being separate to make other gay men's lives in the Phoenix area miserable.

Giving Thanks For Us, This All Embracing Band of Gay Brothers

2007-11-19T05:33:00.000-08:00

Defiance and Attitude: An Exhibition of Queer Art Made in Texas
Artist Harmony Hammond curates a new show examining the double meaning of "Y Que?"

From October 5th until November 17th, Landmark Arts and the School of Art in the College of Visual and Performing Arts at Texas Tech University will present Y Que? —Queer Art Made in Texas, curated by prolific artist Harmony Hammond, in the Landmark Gallery of the Art Building.

According to Hammond, the show “expresses defiance and attitude. Y Que? has a double meaning. One the one hand it implies, ‘Yeah, I’m queer, so what? What’s it to you?’ But it also implies a continuation: ‘…and what else? OK, so you’re queer, but what else are you?’ Texan, Chicano/a, African-American, etc.” (The above art work and written description courtesy of Peter Schaus, and Out magazine.)

It takes a lesbian to document via visual art what, we, as gay men, meaningfully represent, as a tribe. Sure, we love to fuck and get fucked, but hey, it's about something higher, more gratifying, more structural.

I recently came across a question on the hot gay male site, http://www.realjock.com/, in their forum section. The hottie who posted, wanted to start a discussion. He wanted to know, if it was alright not to like his fellow gay men, because he found fault in some of their ways, and could not quite come to associate himself with "every" gay man.

One commenter wrote, that he, as a gay man, must accept all gay men unconditionally. Well, while I welcome this thought, I don't necessarily agree.

We are all different, in so many delightful ways. True, we have our gayness as a common thread, and I, for one, am glad of that. But true, buddy body bonding, and acceptance, requires liking and connecting with that other dude. If sparks don't fly, then a common kinship just doesn't get established.

While I have written many times that I can find at least one thing, one attribute, to find attractive about another guy, that doesn't mean that a guy can't have more than one thing to like.

For instance, rudeness is something that turns me off. I believe in being civil with everyone, no exceptions. For me, rudeness, is the break off, turn off. I'm human, guys, and I can't tolerate rudeness. Deception, I can accept, rudeness, I can't. Even when a fellow gay dude swipes my photo and identifies it as it being him, I can accept that.

For me, you guys are a band of brothers. I like every one of you. If I could, I would want to give each and every one of you, mega hairy muscle hugs, to show my appreciation for your years of being who you are, just great guys.

For me, that's what Thanksgiving is all about.

And also for me, a turkey baster has multiple uses as a toy to enjoy with a bud, besides helping to give the turkey a golden brown color. Bon apetit, and have a great Thanksgiving.

2008 Hunky Hot Stud Calendars, A Brief Exposure

2007-11-16T06:54:00.000-08:00

Howdy guys. I thought I post some recommendations for a select group of woofy 2008 calendars that might make great stocking stuffers.

I have fun each year selecting from a bunch of sexy calendars for this annual blog post.

Please recommend any hunky stud calendars that I may have missed.

WOOF. These guys would make for a great afternoon or nighttime snuggle time of heavy buddy body bonding.

Mega hairy muscle hugs to all you hunky studs. Hell, maybe next year we could put together a calendar of you guys. Anyone for Mr. November?

Thanks for Defending Our Freedoms

2007-11-11T06:33:00.001-08:00

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Originally uploaded by flexfuzz

A very happy and safe Veterans Day to all my woofy buds.
Mega hairy muscle hugs of support to our gay military who gallantly defend our freedom to live in peace in the world, for our right to live openly, and who inspire us to love who we want, unconditionally.

Making sure the loading dock ramp is secure for Daddy Santa

2007-11-09T12:13:00.001-08:00

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Originally uploaded by flexfuzz

Taking a load off. Wishing you guys, Mega hairy muscle hugs. Hoping you are enjoying a nice weekend and observing Veterans Day in your own way.

Practice Does Make Perfect

2007-11-03T07:23:00.001-07:00

2247609871_WOOF TRUCK400_1
Originally uploaded by flexfuzz

Me, ready for some deliveries. Getting in practice to play Daddy Santa's helper later this year.

Being Fuzzy Faced For A Great Cause.

2007-11-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

It seems that our gay Kiwi brothers from New Zealand have a fetish for furry, bearded guys, and they fulfill their urges in a very interesting and beneficial way. See the story below.

Clean-shaven carebears set for 'Movember' Posted in: Community By GayNZ.com - 31st October 2007

It'sthat time of year again, when men up and down the country try to imitate the likes of Tom Selleck, Freddie Mercury or even Ned Flanders, as Movember hits New Zealand and other parts of the world.

Kiwi guys are invited to seek sponsorship and "grow a mo" through the month of November to help raise money for the Prostate Cancer Foundation.

This year, Mr Urge Bear 2007 winner Anton Cronje and Urge Bar co-owner Alan Granville will be joining thousands of men across the country in the annual fundraiser.

Over 2,500 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer and around 600 die from the disease every year in NZ, making it the second largest cause of male cancer deaths, after lung cancer.

Auckland gay men's space Urge Bar has recently been collecting money for the Foundation with contributions from their Woof! and Underware theme nights.

Cronje confirms: "That's right, I'm bringing the Mo back because I'm passionate about men's health and the fight against prostate cancer." Alan Granville, who will also to go clean-shaven on 1 November, will be raising cash from Urge customers throughout the month.

"It's been a few years since I have been without a furry face and sadly due to genetics I am not anticipating a massive moustache growth spurt in a month, but I will be trying my best to grow some form of facial caterpillar. "It's a great cause which doesn't get the kind of publicity it deserves and I would really appreciate any donations. Some of our customers are also entering and we wish them well."

Participants can enter as an individual or as part of a group and Granville will be joining the team at Maloney's Barbers, next to Les Mills on Victoria Street, for the month long "Mo-fest". Movember culminates at the end of the month in Gala Partés in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. These glamorous and groomed events will see Tom Selleck and Borat look-a-likes battle it out for their chance to take home the prestigious Man of Movember title.

All donations are made directly to the Prostate Cancer Foundation of New Zealand who will use the funds to create awareness, increase support networks for those men who suffer from prostate cancer, fund research and scholarship programs. For more information, you can contact Alan Granville at urgebar@ihug.co.nz

So not only having a fuzzy face makes a guy sexy, in New Zealand anyway, it can be the culmination of a lifelong ambition, Man of November.

I know you guys have your own favorite furry faced studs that you admire the most. Share them with the rest of us. Or maybe nominate yourself. Heck, this might even lead to an annual competition, of crowning a Mr. Woofy, 2008. Makes me hard just thinking about it. WOOF.

Happy Halloween, BOO and WOOF

2007-10-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time deciding what to be this Halloween. Any suggestions???

Wishing you guys a safe, sexy and Woofy All Hallow's Eve. All hot tricks and plenty of treats.

A More Realistic Study of Gay Men Reveals Greater Ethnic and Economic Diversity Than Previously Researched

2007-10-26T05:37:00.000-07:00

Gay Stereotypes Dispelled
By George Anderson

A one-size-fits-all approach to the gay and lesbian market is reducing the effectiveness of campaigns targeted to consumers based on their sexual preference. That is the finding of a recent study by New American Dimensions and the Asterix Group.

According to the study of 926 individuals online and in-person, the stereotypical young, white, urban and affluent gay and lesbian image often portrayed in the media is reflective of only a small percentage of consumers in this market segment.

Gary Gates, a demographer at the Williams Institute at the University of California-Los Angeles law school, told the San Jose Mercury News, "Gay men actually make less money than other men. And every time I say that, people say, 'What?' This stereotype of gay men being really wealthy - the whole 'Will and Grace' kind of stereotype - it's just absolutely not true."

Only 42 percent of gay men and 31 percent of lesbians report living in urban areas. The vast majority resides in small towns and rural areas.

About 12 percent of the study's respondents were identified as "closeted." Only four percent of this group reported having come out of the closet while 35 percent said they were still in.

These individuals, the research found, were more likely to be Caucasian, older and live in small communities. Eighty percent of these individuals said sexual orientation was not an important part of their identity.

The polar opposite to "closeted" individuals were those identified in the study as "super gays."

About 26 percent of respondents were classified into this segment by the study's authors. Members of this group were open about their sexual orientation and tended to be more highly educated and affluent.

Across the various segments, the study found some commonalities. For one, nearly two-thirds report having experienced stereotyping and discrimination as a result of their sexual orientation.

Christine Lehtonen, president of Asterix, told the Mercury News, "I expected to find more differences by gender, male and female. And primarily, there weren't a ton of differences."

Seventy percent of gay consumers were willing to spend more for products developed for companies that support their community. The two most popular methods for demonstrating that support are companies offering domestic partnership benefits (79 percent) and making donations to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) groups.

Reflecting on the study, David Morse, president of New American Dimensions, said in a press release, "We have segmented the LGBT market in all its diversity, providing a more detailed picture of the gay and lesbian customer, providing highly sought-after insights to mainstream advertisers."

Christine Lehtonen, president of Asterix, told the Mercury News, "I expected to find more differences by gender, male and female. And primarily, there weren't a ton of differences."
Seventy percent of gay consumers were willing to spend more for products developed for companies that support their community. The two most popular methods for demonstrating that support are companies offering domestic partnership benefits (79 percent) and making donations to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) groups.

All of us knew all along that we are a diverse group of gay men with different kinks, attitudes, and backgrounds. While we don't need a survey to verify our diversity, I'm glad that finally someone has focused on our differences.

Now if we could only get advertisers to portray us as we bond, giving each other mega hairy muscle hugs, now that would be the kind of recognition I'd appreciate. WOOF.

Uncle Sam's Looking For A Few (Or Many) Hunky WOOFY Men

2007-10-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

Here's a funny. Yea, right. They needed the recruits so badly, that they didn't check out the web site first? Someday, this kind of sillyness will come to an end. And the country will be much, much better for it.

Military Looks for a Few Good Woofy Men on Gay Website

Article Date: 10/19/2007 By Bryan Ochalla

In looking for a few good men, the U.S. Army, Navy and Air Force decided to place thousands of recruitment ads on GLEE.com, a networking website for gay professionals. As soon as USA Today brought that to the attention of various military officials, however, the ads were brought down.

"This is the first I've heard about it," Maj. Michael Baptista, advertising branch chief for the Army National Guard, told the newspaper on Wednesday. "We didn't knowingly advertise on that particular website," which he said does not "meet the moral standards" of the military.
A Navy spokesperson told USA Today that nearly 8,000 ads would be removed from the site, while ads attributed to the Marine Corps were for civilian jobs not covered by "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

The ads were placed through New York-based Community Connect by way of Monster.com. Monster.com offers companies and organizations a "diversity and inclusion" package, which includes posts on niche websites aimed at various minorities, including gays and lesbians.
To Servicemembers Legal Defense Network Director of Communications Steve Ralls, the snafu was strangely, and sadly, ironic. Many gays and lesbians "have been drummed out of the armed forces simply for using sites like GLEE," he told USA Today

BEARFORCE1, Hot, Fuzzy Men With a Magnetism and Sound That's Much More Than Eye Candy. WOOOOOOF

2007-10-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twQlpFrm5iM Judge for yourself.

Peter is the hottie above, at the left.

Top, right, a group shot of all the hot fuzzy dudes.

Maybe these are the guys I have had in mind to show the gay male world how to be hot and sexy and safe.

These guys together would make an awesome manwich. Talk about the ultimate buddy body bonding, all of us joining them in a Guinness Book of World's Records mega hairy muscle hug. WOOF.

YURI

GAY HISTORY MONTH, Is 31 Days Enough?

2007-10-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

While it is nice to set aside a month to honor our gay heroes, shouldn't we also be honoring the countless gay and lesbian individuals, who have, in their own small way, made each of our lives better and better each and every day? All of our daily actions, collectively, however trivial they might be, do positively contribute to our state of well being.

A hero a day

Gay GLBT History Month introduces students to 31 gay rights leaders

http://www.washblade.com/2007/10-5/arts/feature/11355.cfm

REBECCA ARMENDARIZ Friday, October 05, 2007

From Leonardo da Vinci to Leonard Bernstein, organizers of GLBT History Month are urging a new generation to learn more about the contributions of 31 iconic gay figures throughout the month. This year marks the second time Equality Forum has organized the month-long celebration.

Though educators launched the concept in the mid-1990s, it failed to catch on. This time around, however, GLBT History Month has found support from major national organizations. Malcolm Lazin, Equality Forum’s executive director, says that last year, 20 organizations promoted the month on their web sites. This year, 80 colleges — from community institutions to Ivy League schools — have put a link to the project on their home pages.

Other supporters include 12 statewide organizations, 28 community centers and corporations, including Banana Republic and McDonald’s.GLBT History Month aims to educate the public about the importance of gay figures in creating the movement’s history. “As much as our history has been closeted from us, it’s also been closeted from the mainstream,” Lazin said. “[The month] combats a societal homophobia by providing role models in that history.”Equality Forum’s project is available to school-age children.

This year, the organization collaborated with the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network to meet with high school students. As a result of those interactions, Equality Forum has created weekly, multiple-choice challenges based on the biographies and videos for each week’s seven icons. At the end of the month, there will be a Rainbow Challenge based on all 31 role models.“If we do not take the responsibility of teaching our history, no one else will,” Lazin said.

Some of those honored include Gore Vidal, an American author known for his novel “The City and the Pillar”; Susan Sontag, an American essayist and activist; David Hockney, an English artist; Gertrude Stein, an American author and art enthusiast; and Frank Kameny, who, according to Lazin, is the “father of the GLBT civil rights movement.”

State, national and international executive directors of gay rights groups submitted their nominations and Kenji Yoshino, a Yale Law School professor and author of “Covering,” and Rev. Nancy Wilson, moderator of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC), selected the final 31 icons.

Yoshino says that GLBT History Month is for everyone.“Because GLBT individuals are usually born to heterosexual families, it is not as likely that individuals in the GLBT community will be taught by their families of origin about GLBT history,” Yoshino said. “The organizing principle of ‘a person a day for a month’ permits individuals to learn without being overloaded,” he said.October was chosen to highlight these people, Yoshino said, because it is the beginning of the school year, and it’s more likely that students would be made aware of the project.“Our hope is … that individuals will see one famous figure they know and then keep browsing to see who else we have chosen as their peers,” he said.

The selections are as diverse as Leonardo da Vinci and Angela Davis. Yoshino says, “that sense of oddness … should teach us that the project of gay history is still young. Because our history has just begun to see the light, it’s not surprising that people juxtapose a Renaissance artist and a contemporary activist.”

Frank Kameny is one of those contemporary activists. Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wisc.) names him as one of her own personal heroes. He is widely credited with spearheading the gay civil rights movement, and has been an activist for half a century.“He started that grassroots organizing that has laid a foundation for later change,” Baldwin said.

Baldwin recently wrote a piece titled, “Leaning Toward Justice” as part of the Gay History Project.“Leaning Toward Justice” compares the gay rights movement to the civil rights movement of the 1960s. Baldwin said the project will help remind young readers that while change sometimes seems to come slowly, in a historical context, the movement has actually progressed with surprising speed. To put things in context, Baldwin writes of her own coming out in the 1980s and the energy she put into learning about gay rights leaders and their contributions.“No role model ever told me about the Daughters of Bilitis, the Mattachine Society, or Stonewall; Elaine Noble, Frank Kameny, or any of the courageous leaders who shaped our movement or contributed their art, their science, their sweat and their intellect to this world,” she said.

Kameny says he feels good about being named a hero of gay history. “I think as ideas and projects of this kind come along, provided people do pursue them, we’ll be able to establish our history and our place in history, using the word history in a larger sense. There is an extensive gay history,” Kameny said. He added that he has too many gay heroes to name.

Kameny has played a key role in achieving civil rights for the gay community. His early focus was repealing sodomy laws and removing homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association’s manual of mental disorders. He is hopeful that with a Democrat in the White House in 2008, that his final goal of repealing the ban on gays in the military will be realized.“More than anything else, not as a specific issue, but simply as a tactic, we just need to get people out and open. I think that’s absolutely necessary,” he said.

Recently, Kameny’s papers and materials from the 1960s were put on display at the Smithsonian. “We would have never believed when we were making those signs in 1965 that they were going to end up actually in the Smithsonian and some of my papers in the Library of Congress … it’s just totally incredible,” he said.

Yea, I have had the privilege of meeting and talking briefly with Frank Kameny, over several years. He is quite a man. A living history of the gay movement.

But like anything else, youth is wasted on the young. Who needs the most education today are gay youth. They think, somehow, that they are the first queers to face anything. But hey, there are many of us, survivors, if you will, that have lived open lives, have lived actively sexually, and have blazed the trail for the twinks of today.

Buddy body bonding never goes out of style, and will always have its place in the gay male world. Fortunately, in this case, one size does fit all. Do some exploring on your own, hug a bud and have a fantastic Columbus Day weekend.

Yet Another Cry for Censorship. It Doesn't Take Much For These Critics To Get Their Panties All In A Bind

2007-09-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

A whole new controversy is brewing over the poster below that will be used to promote Folsom Street Fair this year. Personally I find it full of hot leather dudes and a gal, sharing a common table, breaking "bread" and wine together, like I imagine, in the purest sense, what the ideal image of leather pride events such as this, is all about. Your thoughts?????

h.cassell@ebar.com
Folsom Street Fair's photograph has led Miller Brewing Company to ask that its logo be removed. Photo: FredAlert

The photograph resembling Leonardo da Vinci's famous painting of the Last Supper used on the Folsom Street Fair program and its promotional posters drew fire Tuesday, September 25 from Concerned Women for America.

The anti-gay group issued a news release stating that the Folsom Street Fair is "reminiscent of biblical Sodom and Gomorrah."

"The bread and wine representing Christ's broken body and life-giving blood are replaced with sadomasochistic sex toys in this twisted version of da Vinci's 'Last Supper,'" said the CWA's statement.

In response to pressure from CWA's constituents, Miller Brewing Company on Wednesday requested that Folsom Street Events remove its logo from the posters displaying the leather last supper image.

"While Miller has supported the Folsom Street Fair for several years, we take exception to the poster the organizing committee developed this year," the company said on its Web site. "We understand some individuals may find the imagery offensive and we have asked the organizers to remove our logo from the poster effective immediately."

[After the print edition of the Bay Area Reporter went to press, a Miller spokesman told the paper that the company would continue to support the event.

"We are and will continue to be supportive [of Folsom Street Fair and the LGBT community]," said Julian Green, director of media relations of Miller Brewing Company, Wednesday afternoon.

Miller has not requested a refund of any sponsorship money, Green said. Green said that Miller's decision was based on corporate policies.

"[It] has nothing to do with public pressure," said Green. Green said that the company's decision was based on marketing guidelines at the corporate level that don't allow use of its logo on any "creative design" depicting a "religious connotation."

Until CWA's call to action Tuesday, Miller's corporate office wasn't aware of the use of its logo on the poster, Green said. "Our corporate offices was not made aware of the artwork, however, there may have been some awareness at the local level," said Green. "If it had been reviewed at the corporate level it would not have been approved."]

Folsom Street Events Executive Director Demetri Moshoyannis told the B.A.R. late Wednesday morning that they weren't concerned about Miller's request to remove its logo from the posters. When asked if they thought that they might lose Miller's sponsorship, Moshoyannis said, "Not to our knowledge."

People commenting on the Joe.My.God blog called for support of Miller rather than a boycott, stating that the beverage company has been supportive of the LGBT community for many years.

According to CWA, "Scripture says that God is not mocked, yet it doesn't stop people from trying," Matt Barber, policy director for cultural issues with CWA, said in the release. "As evidenced by this latest stunt, open ridicule of Christianity is unfortunately very common within much of the homosexual community."

"I guess it wouldn't be Folsom Street Fair without offending some extreme members of the global community," said Andy Copper, board president of Folsom Street Events, in a statement issued Tuesday afternoon. "There is no intention to be particularly pro-religion or anti-religion with this poster; the image is intended only to be reminiscent of the 'Last Supper' painting."

Copper stated, "... many of the people in the leather and fetish communities are spiritual and that this poster image is a way of expressing that side of the community's interests and beliefs."
"The irony is that da Vinci was widely considered to be homosexual," Copper added.

Copper pointed to the diversity in the photo, stating that it is a "distinctive representation of diversity with women and men, people of all colors and sexual orientations" which is a part of San Francisco's values.

Local gay clergy also weighed in on the matter.

"I disagree with them I don't think that [Folsom Street Events] is mocking God," said Chris Glaser, interim senior pastor at Metropolitan Community Church – San Francisco. "I think that they are just having fun with a painting of Leonardo da Vinci and having fun with the whole notion of 'San Francisco values' and I think it's pretty tastefully and cleverly done."

Glaser added, "I think that oftentimes religious people miss out on things because they don't have a sense of humor. That's why being a queer spiritual person we can laugh at ourselves and laugh at other people."

Barber called the photo an action of lashing out in a "hateful manner toward the very people they accuse," referring to gay activists calling Christians "haters and homophobes." He said that taxpayers are being "forced" to pay for the fair that allows "'gay' men and women to parade the streets fully nude, many having sex – even group orgies – in broad daylight, while taxpayer funded police officers look on and do absolutely nothing."

CWA called on California's elected officials, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco), Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R), and Democratic Senators Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer to "publicly condemn this unprovoked attack against Christ and His followers."

Pelosi was mocked for her "San Francisco values" in a Saturday Night Live skit last year that poked fun at right-wing attacks that she would bring "left of center" values to Congress.
Tuesday afternoon, Pelosi downplayed the right's uproar.

"As a Catholic, the speaker is confident that Christianity has not been harmed," said Drew Hammill, Pelosi's press secretary.

Barber urged the media to "cover the affront to Christianity with the same vigor as recent stories about cartoon depictions of Mohammed and other items offensive to the Muslim community."

Moshoyannis would not comment beyond the organization's news release sent out on Tuesday.

Copper stated that the leather last supper was the first FSF poster inspired by cultural classics in a series of posters forthcoming from FSE including "American Gothic" by Grant Wood, Edvard Munch's "The Scream" and even The Sound of Music.

Photographer FredAlert, who produced the staged leather last supper, declined to comment.

I admire Fred for his creativity and hot composition. WOOOF.

It has been too long, (5 years), since I've been to Folsom. Got to get my barebutt and chaps back out there some time in the future.

Mega hairy muscle leather pride hugs. Hoping all the guys attending Folsom have a great time. Party hardy and play safe.

Gay Advertising. It Has Always Been Out There, and the Straight Public Didn't Notice.

2007-09-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you haven't watched it, Mad Men on AMCTV is an awesome look at the golden age of advertising in the early 1960's and explores, among many topics, the input of gay men in the industry, especially the art work.

The article below has a link: http://www.washblade.com/2007/9-21/arts/books/11284.cfm

Taking the ‘Hint’ Gay Former George Mason professor chronicles gay-friendly marketing in new book on advertising
ZACK ROSEN Friday, September 21, 2007

Before there was a widespread gay media, before publications like The Advocate could show car ads with two men holding hands, advertising executives had to find more subtle ways to court the gay and lesbian consumer.

Bruce H. Joffe’s new book, “A Hint of Homosexuality: ‘Gay’ and Homoerotic Imagery in American Print Advertising” documents ads, starting in 1905, that would raise eyebrows even among gay people living in 2007.

“Hints of Homosexuality” grew from an article Joffe wrote on homoerotic imagery in Ivory Soap ads from the early part of the century. Entitled “.056/100% ... Homosexual,” the piece explores imagery that is undeniably gay friendly. “[Those ads] are amazing,” Joffe says, describing in particular one that is set in a locker room. “You can see pubic hair! The other guys are looking at it.”

Joffe’s interest in early gay advertising began as a hobby. He had a number of early ads framed on the walls of his house and friends frequently suggested that they should be compiled and published. EBay searches raised his collection to over 300 pieces. Though the visual nature of the ads would lend itself best to a coffee table book or full color volume, practical concerns made an academic work the more viable option.

“You are talking about a niche within a niche,” Joffe says. “There’s no money [for the publisher] in making this a coffee table book. Being a professor, you have to publish or perish. I tried to write the book with a popular voice so that anyone could pick it up, could look at the words and say ‘He’s right, I never noticed this before.”LEAFING THROUGH “HINT” forces the reader to look at old marketing in a new light.

The book gives many examples of coding, the subtle images inserted in print advertising that would go unnoticed by a straight reader but perk the attention of an informed gay man or lesbian. “If an advertising illustrator dressed someone in red, had someone lighting someone else’s cigarette [it meant something gay,]”

Joffe says. “Sex sells, it has always sold. People in marketing always knew that there is more than one market. There was no LOGO, no Blade. How do you reach these people? You reach them by encoding.” Joffe sites many examples of “gay vague” advertising in the book.

A 1948 ad for Schlitz beer used the tagline “I was curious…I tasted it” and a three panel set up. In the first frame, two men and two women are being served the beer. In the second frame, the men stand next to each other while trying the beer, and in the third frame the women are gone completely, implying that the rewards of their curiosity include more than just “the beer that made Milwaukee famous.”

Joffe’s interest in gay advertising goes beyond the casual or the educational. He is donating all profits from “Hint” to the Commercial Closet Association, a non-profit that seeks to influence advertisers to include gay populations in their marketing. The association also maintains an archive of gay-inclusive television advertising from around the world, a collection that Joffe is adding to by lending all of his hard copies of the ads documented in the book. “This organization is trying to reach a point where it doesn’t matter who is pictured in the ad, but that we’re all respecting each other while advertisers are making money,”

Joffe says. “I am loaning them my collection of print ads so there can be a museum that documents and chronicles the history of gays in advertising.”

So, those male underwear ads in the old Sears, Montgomery Wards and JC Penny catalogs weren't the only ones out there in the 1960's and early 1970's to draw the curiosity of an young adolescent gay male. Oh, the power of advertising!!!!

It Really Shouldn't Matter, But, For Some, It Does

2007-09-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

This should really be a good movie. Tom Cavanaugh is a hottie, and the subject matter couldn't have come out at a better time. Now, if we can only see these guys give each other on the ice big hairy muscle hugs and locked lips, after a goal, WOOF. That and a locker scene full of buddy body bonding would make this flick a screen gem.

'Gay hockey movie' hopes to score despite vicious remarks
Last Updated: Thursday, September 13, 2007 8:12 PM ET
CBC News
Director Laurie Lynd says he's shocked by the hateful comments aimed at his "sweet film" about tolerance — Breakfast with Scot, or the "gay hockey movie" as it has been dubbed.
But if the movie can score at the box office as a result, Lynd says he doesn't mind.
In the movie playing this week at the Toronto International Film Festival, Canadian actor Tom Cavanagh plays a gay former Toronto Maple Leaf who works as broadcaster for a major sports network.

Because of homophobia in the field, he decides to keep his personal life a secret but that all changes when his partner's flamboyant nephew, Scot, comes to live with the couple.
"It's the one hurdle that's left to be cleared and yet they're not even close to clearing it," said Cavanagh, the Ottawa-born actor who played the title character on the TV series Ed.
The NHL and the Leafs both gave permission for their logos to be used in the movie — a first for a gay-themed movie, according to the director.

"It was an easy decision," said John Lashway, a member of the Leafs' management team. "We have fans from all kinds of lifestyles, so it just made sense for us."
Negative online posts have already taken aim at the movie, with a couple of right-wing U.S. groups contacting the Leafs. Lynd has also received hate mail.

"I read [the negative comments] while we were in production, and I had to put it down because it was so vicious about such a sweet film that is … about tolerance," says Lynd, adding he was surprised it was even an issue in 2007.

One of Canada's most vocal openly gay athletes, former Olympic swimmer Mark Tewksbury, says he's hopeful this film will open doors for athletes.

"What it could mean is that if it's OK in a fictional movie then maybe, if there is a gay person on a professional franchise like the Maple Leafs, it gives them permission to be themselves."
But for the Montreal-native Noah Bernett, who plays Scot in the movie, the issue is a no-brainer: "I think the moral of this story is that people shouldn't be scared of who they are."
More:
http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2007/09/13/hockey-movie-scot.html?ref=rss--

Cruisingforsex.com Gets Its Best Exposure Ever

2007-09-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

When it rain, it pours. And for the web site, http://www.cruisingforsex.com/, the whole Larry Craig thing has given it new exposure. Read it for yourself.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20529609/site/newsweek/?from=rss

But thanks to cruisingforsex.com (which boasts some 30,000 visitors daily, its operators say) and its competitors, such information is easily accessible around the country—and the world. And the information is precise; some listings direct readers to visit a location between, say 10:30 a.m. and 2 p.m. How convenient.

Here are more exerpts from the article:

Has craigslist.org put a dent in cruisingforsex.com's business? Do chatrooms pose a threat?

Craigslist certainly has changed the field. A lot of strictly younger people tend to turn first to hookups online. But my impression—based on what I am personally experiencing, not any research I’ve done—[is] that people may be tiring of the hookups online and wanting to get back into the real world. There’s some benefits to both ways of meeting. Certainly craigslist, which by the way is often used to hook up in public locations, certainly has taken a lot of men who now meet online and go to each others’ house.

With all the information on cruisingforsex.com and on craigslist, do you feel that law enforcement is more aware now? Or are they less likely to crack down than they were 10 years ago?

In all of our years of doing this, there has always been a constant crackdown and a constant drumbeat of harassment. What Senator Craig has experienced is not unfamiliar to a lot of sexually active men out there.

But, whatever your orientation, is engaging in sexual activity in public okay?Most cruisers don’t want to engage in sex in public. They want to meet someone in a public space and then try to be discreet—maybe in a stall or a cubicle or maybe behind a bush.

As you know from my previous post, I am not sympathetic at all to Larry Craig. And even if he fights to retain his seat, he is facing an uphill battle. Gay groups are out to squeeze his nuts and the right wing has already gotten a noose ready for the lynching.

Hot topics such as this keep the blogging world with enough topical subject matter to write about for days. I would really like that this publicity move to the more important topic of safer sex between two consenting gay men. What we need are more play spaces around the U.S, where guys can meet and not have to take unnecessary risks of public sex. Sure, all of us love hot protected sex, but I feel that "spur of the moment" sex is probably a lot more risky than motivated, intential, pure buddy body bonding. Right here, right now sex, public cruising sex, may be exciting, but it doesn't have lasting benefits. It is just a fix, and sometimes a risky one, at that.

Example Of Hypocrisy At Its Finest-"I'm Not Gay" or "I Am Not A Crook". What Bold Face Lying Politicians Are Saying.

2007-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

Events of this past week only prove to me how important it is for gay men to be proud of engaging in healthy buddy body bonding, and pity poor trolls like Larry Craig, who are compulsive sexoholics, love bathroom sex and can't accept being gay.

The following is an excerpt from a Washington Post article this past week about bathroom stall cruising. I was floored when I first read it. What every gay guy and the general public more than need to know about anonymous sex. Check it out for yourself.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/29/AR2007082902435.html?hpid%3Dtopnews&sub=AR

In this article, the authors are very thorough in their research. An early reference to foot-tapping is made in the 1975 book "The Tea Room Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places," by Laud Humphreys, a sociologist. It is based on Humphreys's 1960s study of public sex.
"In tea rooms where there were doors on the stalls, I have observed the use of foot-tapping as a means of communication," Humphreys wrote. He added that "doors on stalls serve as hindrances rather than aids to homoerotic activity."

Consider the bathroom stall, that utilitarian public enclosure of cold steel and drab hue. And then you can imagine the following.

"If you are in the stall, you tap your foot, and if the person next to you taps a foot, you keep going back and forth until one person makes a move," he says. "Someone will then stick their hand underneath. Or they will pass a note on paper. Or, what I've heard is, when they think it's safe," they will move on to sexual contact in the space beneath the partition.
"Some people are absolutely blatant" about showing arousal in public bathrooms, he said. "I've seen this in malls and witnessed that myself."
The reaction? "That depends," he said. "For people who are not of that same persuasion, they yell and call names. I've seen people escorted out by security, and I've witnessed people gesturing back, reaching over and grabbing them. That's when you roll your eyes and walk out."
This behavior violates the "unwritten code of conduct that men observe in bathrooms," said John Davidson, legal director at Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund

Well bathroom sex, has never, ever turned me on. When I enter a public men's or gent's room, I'm there to take a piss and wash my hands, never more than that. Besides the risk, it fucking demeaning.

I would never deny a guy's pleasure of cruising openly. It happens all the time. But as I have written in previous posts over the years, any one doing it is taking some big risks.

I don't feel a bit sorry for the old fart. He hates us, as gay men, and has voted many times for legislation which denies us our right to marry and live without fear or retribution. The reason he hates us, is that he hates himself. He has created this great fuckin lie, and he despises us for the freedoms we both enjoy and seek.

That said, I want to wish you hot studs a great weekend. And a special mega hairy muscle salute to working men everywhere. WOOOF.

Tidbits and Factoids

2007-08-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Here are some interesting items I have collected recently. Let me know what you think.

ITEM: Based on interviews with more than 12,000 gay men and 10,000 lesbians across the country, San Francisco's Community Marketing Inc. claims the survey provides the most comprehensive view yet into psychographic and demographic data on the gay community.

For instance, with regard to family life, the survey found 46 percent of gay men and 65 percent of lesbians are partnered or live with a significant other. While 20 percent of lesbians have children under the age of 18 living at home, only five percent of gay men do.

For gay men, the median household income is $83,000 per year (gay singles, $62,000; gay couples living together, $130,000). For lesbians, the median household income is $80,000 per year (lesbian singles $52,000; lesbian couples living together $96,000).

Regarding media choices, gay and lesbian publications were read most often by both genders, although national "mainstream" publications also fared well. Favorites were The New York Times, Men's Health and GQ among gay men, and People, AARP The Magazine and O The Oprah among lesbians. The top three most watched television networks for both genders were NBC, ABC, and CBS. For gay men, the next three were Fox, Bravo and Logo; for lesbians, Showtime, Fox, and Logo.

Eighty-five percent of gay men and 85 percent of lesbians agreed advertising in gay media favourably influences their purchasing decisions;

Eight-nine percent of gay men and 92 percent of lesbians reported that the way a company treats its gay and lesbian employees impacts their decision to do business with that company, with the majority (52 percent and 59 percent respectively) saying this was strongly positive;

Eighty-eight percent of gay men and 91 percent of lesbians report that their purchasing decisions are favourably influenced by corporate sponsorship of gay events and participation in gay charities.

ITEM: In the current issue of Out magazine, there are 65 individual nipples featured in articles and in ads, including Marky Mark's 3 nips.

ITEM: According to a press release from Equality Forum, 463 of the 2007 Fortune 500 companies voluntarily include sexual orientation in their employment nondiscrimination policies.There is currently no federal workplace protection based on sexual orientation, and only 20 states include sexual orientation nondiscrimination in their workplace statutes.

ITEM: Las Vegas magicians Siegfried & Roy are coming out of the closet in a highly anticipated autobiography soon to be released. It may not come as a big surprise to most people that the two performers are gay but it will be the first time they admit to this officially.According to details from the upcoming book leaked to the National Enquirer, Siegfried and Roy were once very much in love but have since transformed their relationship into a working partnership and a deep friendship. (Oh brother, do they have to state the obvious?)

Hoping all of my body bonding buds in the Northern Hemisphere are enjoying these last weeks of the summer season. I know you studs are making the most of it. Hey, if you're heading to the beach, help out a fellow hottie who needs some assistance spreading some sun block on his back. I'm sure that helping hand will not go unrewarded. You'll be making a lasting friend. That's what buddy body bonding is all about.

You guys in the Southern Hemisphere, I know it will be spring there soon. And I know you dudes are ready for some springtime buddy body bonding as well. WOOF.

If Michael Musto Wrote About It, It Must Be True

2007-08-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

Fellow gay boy and all around great guy, Michael Musto, the celebrated columnist for the Village Voice, has something to say about the scarcity of guys who identify themselves as bottoms:

The weird news in gay land is that no one's a bottom anymore (except for a certain downtown Manhattan promoter with a flair for double penetration). Tragically enough, a whole generation of bottoms passed on some time ago, and then came a whole new generation that learned from day one that being a wide-end receiver is risky, so they've always been testy and squeamish about it. That's perfectly understandable, but as a result, virtually every gay on the market today is a versatile top—or "vers top," if you prefer—"though I'll bottom for the right guy," they always add with a noble flourish. So unless you happen to have pulled up in a golden coach and have 300 condoms rubber-banded to your crotch, no one's gonna bottom for you and sex will undoubtedly consist of twiddling thumbs and bumping pussies and being more frustrated than if you'd stayed home alone with your fleshlight (the male sex toy whose site generously invites you to "select an orifice"). Somebody take it up the ass, please!

I totally agree with what Michael writes. No one seems to want to be a bottom anymore. How many times have we come across that double talk phrase, "bottom for the right guy"? I think bottom boys must reassess their fear of being fucked safely. There has to be gay public education showing how the top guy can coaks the squimish bottom guy into be fucked, and really liking it. I say, give 'em some buddy bonding. Be it in a pup tent under two zipped together sleeping bags, or in a secluded hallway, we guys have the responsibility to reverse perceptions that guys can fuck each other, and do it pleasurably, without fear. While I rather see guys having some fears about being fucked, hell, you can be a fuck pig and do it safely. Think condoms, guys.

Mega hairy muscle hugs of fucking til the cows cum home.

Harassment. The Illinois Gay Rodeo is experiencing it

2007-08-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

The Gay Rodeo season is in full swing now, and not without some controversy, from straights.

There is such a thing. Its Web site is http://www.ilgra.com/. (The pink cowboy boots are a nice touch.)

The Windy City Rodeo, sponsored by ILGRA, is scheduled for Aug. 25-26 in Crete. The rodeo has been held in the Chicago area for years, but about five years ago, an inquiry was made about bringing it to Springfield.

"I called and they said you stay out of it, we'll handle it," said Buff Carmichael, who inquired with the non-fair events office. "I haven't heard a word since.

"They'll catch a plane to Colorado to lure the high school rodeo here, but they won't do anything to get the gay rodeo."

No doubt, offering the fairgrounds' Multipurpose Arena for this would be a hot potato for the state, probably too hot. Picketing protesters. Horrified homophobes. Scandalized Springfieldians. The only reason a serious bid hasn't been made to bring it here is easy to see. Hint: It's a three-letter word that begins with "g."

For about 10 years, Michael Cunningham Jr. has been co-director of Illinois' gay rodeo. Cunningham is a 1985 graduate of Lanphier High School. He used to compete before he became co-director. Bringing the rodeo to his hometown would be great, Cunningham said.
The Windy City Rodeo attracts about 100 competitors and 5,000 spectators, according to Cunningham. That translates into tourism and bucks for local merchants.

We are always looking for events to bring to Springfield. This would be one controversial event, but an event just the same. Last time I checked, a gay person's dollar was worth 100 cents, same as a straight person's dollar.

Cunningham foresees a couple of problems with having the rodeo in Springfield. Most of the rodeo's sponsors are in Chicago, for example. And then there is travel.

"Logistically it would be difficult," he said. "People come from all over the U.S. and Canada to compete. It would be a challenge to get people to the rodeo in Springfield."
But, I said, the high schoolers manage to get here from all over the country, and farther.

"That's true," Cunningham said. "And the great thing is the facility there is world class."
Humane treatment of the animals is always a concern at a rodeo. The ILGRA has adopted guidelines that it (hopefully) adheres to. They are on its Web site. But anytime you have a rodeo, animal welfare will be an issue for some.

As for local protesters coming out to tell the gay cowboys and cowgirls they will burn in hell, Cunningham says that is not a concern. It's true, he said, that the Chicago area is more diverse than Springfield, and as a result, more accepting of a gay rodeo. But he believes his hometown would be all right with it.

Events in the gay rodeo virtually are the same as in a straight rodeo - bull and bronc riding, roping, barrel racing and bulldogging, for example. There also are special "camp events." Those include a timed event in which competitors put underwear on a goat, a three-person team (one of whom must compete in drag) herding a steer, and "steer deco" in which competitors attempt to tie a ribbon on a steer's tail while teammates remove a rope from its horns.

"The camp events are the most competitive events," Michael said, "because a lot of people enter those, and so the prize money can be substantial."

The Illinois Gay Rodeo Association is part of the International Gay Rodeo Association. The international's finals rodeo is huge. This year it will be held in Denver in October. It has been held in Las Vegas many times. Springfield might be too small for that one. Anyway, the IGRA's bylaws specify that its finals must be held in an indoor arena.

Look, you don't have to agree with the lifestyle to support bringing the gay rodeo to Springfield. That expensive rodeo arena at the fairgrounds sits empty most of the year. Why not try to get something/anything out there that will make some money?

They are going to hold Illinois' gay rodeo somewhere. It might as well be here.

Well, my heart goes out to Michael Cunningham for fighting the good fight. I, myself, love the IGRA circuit and try to support it every chance I get. It is a great event, plenty of fun and lots of hot cowpokes. WOOOF, who could want anything else?

EDGY MY ASS. Barebacking Is Just " FUCKING STUPID' !!!

2007-07-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

The following is a very disturbing article from the current, August 2007 issue of OUT magazine, written by James Gavin.

Baring the Truth

After decades of scrupulous condom use, bareback porn is proliferating—with a corresponding rise in HIV infections. The collective silence is deafening.

The sticker on the video box was as chilling as a skull and crossbones: bareback. It was 1998, and an HIV-positive couple from Palm Springs, Calif., had just begun videotaping bareback orgies and releasing the tapes under the company name Hot Desert Knights. After a decade of scrupulous condom use in gay porn, after all the deaths from AIDS complications and the struggle to curb HIV, these films seemed to betray everyone who had fought the fight. Chi Chi LaRue, the hefty cross-dressing porn director, who entered the industry in 1987, recalls his response to those first bareback videos: “Shock. Anger. Sadness. I thought, Why?”

Today, by various estimates, the bareback genre accounts for up to 30% of the gay porn industry’s output. On MaleDVD.net, the Netflix of that field, about half of the top 20 rentals at any given time are condomless. “The consumer has spoken,” declares Sam Dixon, a ’90s porn star now directing bareback films. “This is what people want to see.”

Shot like home movies, most of these videos are cheap to make and easy to profit from. Their casts include “real people” along with a growing wave of aging HIV-positive porn actors. Bareback porn is also a playground where boys barely out of high school frolic without condoms as though AIDS doesn’t exist. Many of these films fetishize semen so graphically that the message is unmistakable: a loud “fuck you” to the plague that once terrified us all.

Why has bareback sex proliferated, on- and off-camera? Many reasons are given: safer-sex burnout; medications that have made HIV seem like “the new diabetes,” as an HIV-positive character on Nip/Tuck called it; the scourge of crystal meth, a destroyer of inhibitions. Then there’s the allure of sexual taboos, which bareback video exploits. I really don't buy this shit. It's just a crutch.

To former porn actor Will Clark, the trend “reflects our need to be edgy and defiant in a world where being gay used to be edgy and defiant and every day has become more and more commonplace.” Clark, whose AIDS fund-raising and safer-sex advocacy have earned him broad respect in the industry, feels that a key effect of these films is to give permission to—and eroticize—what guys are already doing, or long to do.

Many performers, like ’90s porn regular Dino Phillips, a newcomer to bareback, insist these films are harmless fantasies. “Otherwise,” he says, “every movie that shows gunslinging and murder would have to use a disclaimer saying, ‘Duh, this is just for entertainment, we’re not really advocating this.’ ”

The comparison is disingenuous. While most people don’t aspire to mimic murderers, they do want to have hot sex. And on-screen depictions of violence are fake; bareback porn is not. “These films may stage a fantasy, but these are real people having unsafe sex,” says veteran filmmaker Gino Colbert. “They’re not using special effects here.” Will Clark calls the fantasy explanation “a cop-out given by these people so they can sleep at night and not think their actions have any consequences to their gay brothers. Porn is tremendously influential.”

That’s hard to deny. From the hairy-chested blue-collar style to the pumped-up gym bod, porn has helped promote every dominant look in gay culture. Positions, leather, sexual swagger, dirty talk—porn teaches them all. And to Chi Chi LaRue, that brings a responsibility. “People have called me a condom Nazi,” he says. “Fine! I think sex is fantastic. You can still do it the right way.” You go girl.

Nearly all the top-tier studios maintain a strict condom-use policy. But many are feeling outmoded as well as outsold, and the strain shows. The once-forbidden oral come shot—less risky than raw anal penetration—has become fairly common. So has bare-boned prodding without full insertion—at least in the finished edits. Bel Ami, the twink-glorifying Czech company, offers bareback video on demand as a Web site exclusive rife with familiar “do as we say, not as we do” disclaimers: “We fervently hope that in your private life you act responsibly and take every precaution to keep yourself healthy.” Previously, the majors took a supposed moral high road—some called it a power play—by barring actors who’ve done bareback films. That rule has faded; some of their names mean money, with or without rubbers.

Undisputed by all who were interviewed for this article is the fact that safer-sex practices are on the wane—far beyond the scope of porn. “A lot of people, stupidly, think the AIDS epidemic is over,” says LaRue. HIV and AIDS statistics, imperfect (and dated) as they are, bear out the rise in unsafe sex among men who have sex with men (MSM). Recently the American Journal of Public Health announced that between 2001 and 2004, HIV diagnosis rates among men who have sex with men from the ages of 13 to 24 had grown by approximately 14%. Other studies have found jumps in new HIV diagnoses among some groups of MSM over the age of 25.

For some, seroconversion can feel liberating—in the short term, anyway. (To me, this is pathetic. )Though himself negative, “Morningwood”—the assumed name of a San Francisco–based 24-year-old member of the Radical Faeries—has seen the “reward” claimed by so many who contract HIV, including one of his past lovers. “A surrender of fear happens,” he says, “and the sense that now you’re free to have whatever kind of piggy bareback sex you want.”

Michael Brandon, a partner in the studio Raging Stallion, might say yes. He dotes on fans who worship his porn persona: a lanky, bearded, horse-hung embodiment of his company’s name. At home he’s in a long-term condomless relationship. “We’ve been tested, and we’re comfortable with each other’s health issues,” he explains, but on-screen is another matter. “I feel I have a huge responsibility. If one of my fans or a teenager sees Michael Brandon fucking without a condom, they may think, Michael Brandon does it, so why can’t I?”

That’s not Sam Dixon’s concern. Dixon runs 1 Distribution, a Los Angeles–based DVD distributor, along with Tipo Sesso Productions, which produces cut-rate bareback video. Doesn’t he feel that porn filmmakers have some obligation to promote safe sex? “We’re an adult industry,” he states with nonnegotiable firmness. “We’re not an educational industry. I think the best you can do is try to put a little PSA at the beginning of your films. Beyond that, I truly believe that one’s sexual practices are cemented by the time they’re watching porn.” As for his actors, he says, “If they don’t do it for me, they’ll do it for somebody else. It’s not my position to chastise them. That’s censorship.” Blame the rise in barebacking not on porn but on crystal, he says, and on neglectful parents. “Way before someone’s watching adult films, the education has to start: Here are the facts. Be responsible. And save bareback sex for your life partner.” Who’s communicating those messages today? “No one.”

Certainly not the Bush administration, which preaches abstinence and insists that condoms are unreliable. “We have this government that’s so sex-phobic it’s destroying safe-sex education all over the world,” says Howard Grossman, an eminent HIV specialist. Ignorance also pervades the bareback porn world, as Tim Valenti knows. As cofounder of NakedSword.com, a Shangri-la of gay video on demand—none of it bareback—Valenti has met lots of the subgenre’s young models. “I found them to be extremely naive about what they were doing. Young people were being pushed into participating in something without having a clear understanding of the ramifications. I didn’t want to be part of it.”

In the Czech Republic, where bareback rules the industry, both gay and straight actors undergo regulated HIV screening. In the United States testing of gay actors is sketchy. Some producers do only quick screenings for antibodies, which may not appear until six weeks after infection. But if gay porn were to shut out HIV-positive performers, as straight porn does, the business would crash. “You’re looking at an industry where easily 50% of the actors are HIV-positive,” says Michael Stabile, NakedSword.com’s marketing director. “I’ve talked to some of them, and they say, ‘The only time I ever have sex with a condom is on-screen.’ So bareback isn’t any huge fall from grace for them.”

Sometimes it’s a merit badge. THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID,IT IS ALMOST UNBELIEVEABLE

On the sprawling third floor of a building off Folsom Street in San Francisco, a dozen or so workers go about their duties as busily as Santa’s helpers. Welcome to Treasure Island Media, whose notorious films exploit some of the darkest gay sex taboos—and create a few new ones. Dawson’s 20-Load Weekend and Dawson’s 50-Load Weekend star a soft-spoken, attractive young employee of a scientific firm in his on-screen guise as “world-class cum dump.” He enjoys cattle-call gang-banging, piss enemas, and penetration with a “devil’s dick”—a condom filled with the frozen loads of multiple anonymous men.

To Treasure Island’s reclusive middle-aged owner Paul Morris, sex and homosexuality are meaningful only if they’re transgressive, unreined, risky. (He calls HIV-negativity “the new virginity.”) “To me, sex is a religion,” he says, and Morris—an ex-hustler with the rugged air of a ’70s trucker—wields the eerie charisma of a cult leader. He has laser-beam eyes and a voice that keeps one off balance; its drawling cadences can convey fatherly concern or sarcasm, seduction or intimidation. “Dawson” waxes as rhapsodic of him as did Susan Atkins of Charles Manson. “Paul is a wonderful, wonderful man, a brilliant man. He’s this idol figure that I always looked up to and wanted to please,” he says. He even dreams of having impetuous sex with him: “That’s not played out, unfortunately.”

In his office Morris recalls a plea from queer theorist David Halperin that he start his videos with the pledge “No gay men were harmed in the making of this film.” Morris’s response? “To a certain extent my job is setting up a zone in which those questions don’t appear—a sexual cloud of unknowing.”

He explains his philosophy further. “I want to make porn that comes from a place even I don’t understand. Porn from a place that’s wild, forbidden, that’s absolutely secret. That to me is gay. Not filtered through what the government says you should be. Not according to what the industry says you should or should not do.”

Intellectually tantalizing as his battle cry may seem, what about practical concerns, like infection? Don’t such Treasure Island productions as Breeding Season and Plantin’ Seed fetishize HIV? The filmmaker’s eyes harden. “I see them as fetishizing unalloyed and pure sex among men,” he says bluntly.

Perhaps it’s true for some viewers, as Morris claims, that watching extreme behavior can purge us of similar urges. But “Morningwood” experienced no catharsis from Dawson’s 50-Load Weekend. “It totally overwhelmed me,” he says, and he went on his own mini barebacking spree. Playing safe has been a challenge ever since: “Now that I know what I’m missing, I have to find that inner strength to make the right decision every time.”

The bareback field’s former poster boy has made a life-changing decision of his own. “Hi, I’m Sean Lockhart,” says the slender, sweet-faced lad of 20 who greets me, hand extended, near the Amtrak station in downtown San Diego. As “Brent Corrigan” (as Lockhart now prefers to be called), he starred in such twink classics as Take It Like a Bitch Boy. He’s the twink-lover’s dream: a deliciously piggy boy-next-door type who’ll submit to the kinkiest fantasies, then nestle in your arms like a little lamb. The fact that he was under 18 when he entered the industry had some nasty consequences. So did his involvement with a producer who was killed early this year in one of the most notorious murders in porn history.

He talks about it all at an outdoor café. By his side is Grant Roy, his older Texan boyfriend, father figure, and “protector,” as Corrigan calls him. Roy is his partner in BrentCorriganInc.com, an Internet candy store of pay-per-view sex scenes along with the actor’s revealing blog.

His is the story of a sexually precocious but naive boy with a dysfunctional mother, an absentee father, and painfully low self-esteem. Strapped for funds, he let his then-boyfriend falsify his proof of age (Corrigan was 17) and sell his services to Bryan Kocis, owner of Cobra Video. Kocis—who’d been nabbed for videotaping himself having sex with a minor—became Corrigan’s substitute father and lover; Corrigan became Kocis’s cash cow. But when the actor fled and publicly revealed the age violation, a livid Kocis sued him for fraud and threatened anyone who employed him. Along the way, he made enemies. On January 24, someone entered Kocis’s small-town Pennsylvania home, slashed his throat, stabbed him 28 times, and set the house afire. (On May 15, porn stars and video-on-demand Webmasters Harlow Cuadra and Joseph Kerekes were arrested in Virginia and charged with the crime. Investigators believe the two allegedly committed it in part because the duo wanted to clear the way to work with Brent Corrigan.) In an earlier blog post, I followed this murder. I will try to keep you posted of any developments in future blogs.

This excruciating tale has at least one bright spot. “Thankfully, at this time, I’m HIV-negative,” he says. And he has since become a safe-sex champion. “I strongly believe that condoms in porn are important. It’s not necessarily the end of the world if you get HIV, but it’s still gonna affect who you can and cannot date, who you can and cannot have sex with.” Last year he appeared in his first mainstream gay porn film, Falcon Studio’s The Velvet Mafia. (Due to pressure from Kocis, who claimed ownership of the name “Brent Corrigan,” the actor was billed as “Fox Ryder.”)

All the scenes on Corrigan’s site employ condoms; he plans a series of PSAs in which he’ll demonstrate “fun ways” of using them. “I think it’s time for some of us youthful types to come out and say, ‘This is what you should be doing and this is the way I do it.’ ” Bareback, he feels, is the “crutch” of the unimaginative pornographer. Good for you, Brent.

Condomless porn, of course, isn’t going away. “I want to shout from the mountaintops, ‘It’s just sex!’ ” says Dino Phillips. “Then I think, Should it be just sex? The decision to play safe, he adds, is “ultimately going to have to rest on people’s sense of self.”

But to Grant Roy, that’s a lonely way to live. “Any community should be taking care of its own,” he says. “I think that as gay men, we’ve developed this strange complex of, ‘I have it hard, so I’m gonna bulldoze the fuck over you too.’ There aren’t very many of us out there. If we take care of each other, we’ll be much better off.” To Grant and other guys, who would like to change things, we support you.

I have commented about this insane form of unsafe sex more than once over the years since I've been blogging. I can't for the life of me, rationalize the behavior of these fucking stupid guys. To me, it's a no brainer, fuck, your eyes out, but do it with a condom. Why is this so hard, for guys to understand.

I admire a porn star like Brent Corrigan who wants to spread the gospel of safer sex. On his web site, http://www.brentcorriganonline.com, he wants to show young guys and those who like their men, on the chicken side, ways to demonstrate fun ways of having safer sex. While Brent is definitely, not my type, I give him credit for leading the way in showing guys that safer sex is really more fun. You don't have that fuckin fear hanging over your head, the Russian roulette thing, about if you've been infected or not after unprotected sex. It just makes damn common sense to use a condom ever time you fuck another guy. It is the top man's responsibility, plain and simple.

Why can't gay guys show each other some, what I like to call, buddy bonding? Buddy bonding to me is unconditional protected sex, done in imaginative and hot scenerios.

If a guy likes sex, he has to take fantasy all the way. Whether it be role playing, uniforms, leather, other fetish, doing it well and doing it passionately, will make any guy, I guarantee, a convert to safer sex. And those who can't be pursuaded, are lost causes. If they value their lives as worthless, who am I to say otherwise.

To all the hot men out there, mega hairy muscle hugs and endless nights of buddy bonding.

How Sad Is This?

2007-07-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

The Life and Death of A Young Gay American

By: PAUL SCHINDLER
07/11/2007

In October 2003, Michael Glatze, then 28, sat in Manhattan's Union Square Virgin Megastore, enthusiastically explaining Young Gay America, the organization he helped launch with a mission to "save lives by educating and informing queer youth about their importance to society."

With his co-founder and boyfriend Benjie Nycum, (That's Benji on the left, and Michael, in the middle) Glatze had made an award-winning film and launched a Web site, both of which enabled queer youth across the U.S. to tell their stories. They would later start a magazine bearing the group's name. But, the heart of Young Gay America was a series of five, two-week road trips Glatze, Nycum, and several others took across the U.S. and Canada, in which they met with scores of queer youth, almost all of them remote from major urban areas. Detailed interviews and photos from those encounters were posted on the group's Web site, and served as the model for the stories other youths submitted themselves. In a tribute of sorts to their efforts, a right-wing Christian group named younggayamerica.com one of the nation's "Ten Most Dangerous Websites."

Glatze and Nycum met working at XY magazine in San Francisco, but hoped to move beyond that publication's slick appeal to urban gay youth, and reach LGBT young people in small town America who had the least resources and support. "I'm talking about the ones who are not going to send us e-mail," Glatze said of those most isolated and in need of outreach. "They are not going to show up at the doorstep of a halfway house or a home. They are not going to e-mail anyone. They are stuck."

The Michael Glatze who devoted his life's work to help those gay youth is no more. At some point in the past three years, he had "a born-again experience," which he announced to the world in a July 3 confessional on WorldNetDaily.com, a Christian-right Web site that has long been a forum for extreme anti-gay views.

In a 90-minute telephone interview with Gay City News the evening of July 9, Glatze talked in detail about the crisis he said led to his Christian rebirth, how that experience motivated him to reject his self-identification as a gay man, his feelings of "repulsion" at the thought of sex with another man, and his conclusion that his work at Young Gay America was all about "peddling homosexuality to youth."

But Glatze's story is not simply one of rejecting his own homosexuality. It is also about the mission he feels today - one he termed "evangelical" - to alert society that "the homosexual mindset is that they always want to find more homosexuals."

Most startlingly, Glatze said that America needs to "examine whether homosexuality should be legal" or if gay sex should instead be punished by "imprisonment."It is of course child's play to point out the contradictions across the board between the Michael Glatze of 2003 and the 2007 model.

He remains impressively articulate, precise in his choice of words, passionate, amiable, even gentle, despite his harsh words about what he calls the "false gay identity." In fact, he emphasized not the discontinuity apparent to almost everyone else, but instead the seamlessness of his transformation.

"This is a fruition of all that I have believed in my life," Glatze said of his current thinking on God and homosexuality. He explained that his rethinking began with an unexplained illness he feared might be the same heart condition that killed his father suddenly when Glatze was only 13.Curiously, though, it was disillusionment with his father, even as a young boy, that he said led to his embrace of "the gay identity" as a teenager.

His father flagrantly cheated on his mother, Glatze said, and as a boy he became her comforter and protector, and also vowed to never hurt a woman in the same way. By the time of his father's death, Glatze was experiencing his burgeoning sexuality, but he claims that energy was free-floating, "not focused on any object." It was only when a friend told him at age 14 about people who live their lives as gay that he connected his feelings to same-sex desire. "I was already shy and introverted," he said. "I thought, 'Well, that's what I am.' It sealed my fate. I wanted that masculinity and my sexuality was there. And it crystallized into gay identity."

In a WorldNetDaily.com posting accompanying his essay, Glatze was quoted referring to his "darkest days of late-night parties, substance abuse, and all kinds of things when I felt like, 'Why am I here, what am I doing?'" Even then, he said, "There was always a voice there." But in this week's interview, he conceded that was a reference to years earlier when he was a raver in San Francisco, before he and Nycum moved to Halifax, Nova Scotia, where his ex-partner's family lives.

The voice Glatze says he heard didn't fully reveal itself until his health scare passed and he said, "'Thank God,' and it was the first time the word God made sense to me." What resulted he said was "freedom." Studying the Bible, "came to open my mind to ideas I had not looked at before... I was making peace with my God instead of him being my enemy."As a result, he explained, "I was seeing how powerful sexuality was and that I should not take it flippantly."

Yet Glatze and Nycum were in a long-term relationship, and though he would not discuss their intimate life and whether they were monogamous, he acknowledged that he loved Benjie and that their union was, in his view, "divinely inspired." So what was flippant about that love?"

In the homosexual desire, there is a craving that has a sense of need and along with it the sense that we are doing something wrong," Glatze responded. "That comes from the knowledge of right and wrong and of life. That is different from what I am calling a normal relationship." The potential for procreation is critical in appropriate sexual relationships, Glatze now believes. "If I tried to have sex with a guy, it would steal his sexuality," he argued.

"We have within us the power and important ability to create life." Asked about all the heterosexual coupling that has nothing to do with procreation, Glatze conceded that there is considerable "lust-based" straight sex. He was not able, however, to articulate precisely why then his new Christian right allies focus their ire so disproportionately on homosexuality.

His experience is his past homosexuality, Glatze said. "I can only tell my own story."Glatze's decision to speak out after several years of evolution in his beliefs was, he said, "The obvious thing. I had already come to the conclusion that not everyone who has same-sex desires has to have a gay identity. I got rid of both and I felt more true to myself. Anyone else could do it."

But Glatze is interested in more than simply spreading the good news of his rebirth. He warns that homosexuality and heterosexuality cannot co-exist."The more homosexuality is accepted, the more homosexuals there are," he said. "The more we perpetuate the gay identity to children, the more homosexuals there are. The homosexual mindset is that they always want to find more homosexuals."

Asked to explain a statement at the core of traditional right-wing fear-mongering regarding homosexuality's threat to children, Glatze mentioned what he said was a common gay fantasy about seducing straight men, and his own determination as a younger man to "queer up the world."

Speaking of his youthful embrace of his homosexuality, Glatze asserted, "If it was a world where no gay identity existed and if you had same-sex behavior punished, then a) I would not have done it, b) I would not have had a gay identity that does not exist, and c) I would have seen myself as a normal heterosexual and sought the help of the numerous support groups to deal with my feelings." In mentioning the criminalization of gay sex,

Glatze amended his choice of words from "imprisonment" to "punishment" and then emphasized that he was not endorsing the idea, but only saying that America needed to discuss the question - that is, whether the freedom he has found might need to be enforced on others.

As for his success in dealing with his now-troublesome homosexual feelings, Glatze said the idea of having sex with a man makes him sick, and that he is attracted to women.

Still, he acknowledged, "I lived with the habits for so long, there are times when I can see habitual reactions. Something you might have looked at all your life, you can see yourself notice it, but it does not have the same result in terms of desire. I don't crave or want anymore."His attraction to women has not led him into a relationship, and Glatze emphasized he is not interested in any "lust-based sex." Asked how he will be drawn into a sexual relationship with a woman without lust, he responded, "It's part of the great mystery of life," and said that through prayer he had learned from God that a relationship is probably at least a year off.

Glatze - attractive, intelligent, and committed - could become a formidable anti-gay leader, but there are signs that after dipping his toe in the water, he has found it disagreeably cold.

Scheduled to appear this week on Paula Zahn's CNN program and the Sirius Radio show hosted by Michelangelo Signorile (whose producer passed on Glatze's current contact information to Gay City News), he backed out of both. "I've actually been trying to cut down on talking to people," Glatze said. "I had prayed about going on 'Signorile' and CNN and decided not to. Many people I've spoken to have been not so nice to me."

This guy is so messed up, it isn't funny. I only have pity for him. Again this is another case of a gay guy who somehow feels that turning straight will make his fucked up mind feel better. It's not his sexuality that is the matter, it's his mental state of health. I am so sorry that he feels that his life has been wasted. And now he is in the hands of the Christian Right to make him their latest ex-gay poster boy in their endless propaganda drive to turn the non gay American public against our cause for equal rights and the legal ability to marry.

Just Chillin Out

2007-07-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

Not much going on with me today. But I'm looking forward to another great summertime weekend.

Seeing this pic reminds me how much I enjoy nipples. I return to this topic, from time to time, but it's worth repeating.

There is nothing more enjoyable to me that man to man nipple play. It just gets me aroused big time.

The response of the nipple to touch is pure pleasure, almost like an out-of-body experience. Tweaking another guy's nips connects me with his pleasure. It seems like nipple play is the ties that bind some guys together. It's just a big fuckin turn-on.

Hoping you guys are having a super day and are gearing up for a great weekend. These lazy days of summer don't last long. So enjoy some shirtless pleasures. Hey, I'm going to do just that.

And I couldn't think of any better summertime pleasure than to lick some creamy chocolate flavored Readi-Whip cream off a hot guy's hairy muscled pec and filling up my beard with yummy pleasure. Now, that's nipple lickin good.

We Never Can Change Who We Love, Who We Are. Yet Another Positive Affirmation Of Why We Are Gay

2007-07-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

(CNN) -- After five years of trying to date girls and to conform and conceal his sexuality, 18-year-old Steven Field told his friends and family that he was gay.

Steven Field, now 25, came out to his friends and family when he was 18.

"I wasn't being honest to myself," Field, now 25, said of his closeted high school years in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois.

Being gay was natural for him, Field, who lives in Washington, said in a Thursday phone interview. "I didn't choose to be gay anymore than straight people choose to be straight."
To those who would disagree with him, Field said, "You don't choose who you love."
Field is not alone in thinking that sexual orientation is a fixed element of a person. Whether homosexuality is innate or whether it is acquired -- the age-old nature versus nurture debate -- has long shaped the political and social discussion over gay rights.

Over the years, the genetically based argument has found increasing support among Americans, according to polls. More and more people now believe that homosexuality is a permanent, immutable part of a person, much like fingerprints or eye color.

According to a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released Wednesday, 56 percent of Americans believe that gays and lesbians could not change their sexual orientation even if they wanted to do so -- the first time that a majority has held that belief regarding homosexuality since CNN first posed the question nearly 10 years ago.

The sampling error for the results is plus or minus 4.5 percentage points.

Six years ago, 45 percent of Americans responding to a CNN/USA/Gallup Poll said gays and lesbians could not change their sexual orientation. And in 1998, the number was 36 percent, according to a CNN/Time poll.

The latest poll results affirmed what many gay and lesbians see as a shift in attitude across the country toward homosexuality. Even in the face of state legislation that denies gays the right to marry or to form civil unions, more Americans are now accepting of homosexuality, gays and lesbians say.

The term, feeling natural being gay, is the best way to sum up who we are. So if we can't change, the only thing left is to change the perception straights have for us. And that is slowing changing to our favor.

Hoping everyone had a super spectacular Canada Day, and Independence Day. Anyone shoot off extra fireworks that we should know about?

Being Gay Isn't for Sissys, and No Study Can Prove Otherwise

2007-06-29T09:44:00.000-07:00

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Can you tell whether someone's gay just by the way he or she walks?

David Sylva wants to know. He straps bright red lights to people's bodies and videotapes them walking in the dark. He then shows the videotape to observers (who won't be biased by clothing or hairstyles since the walker is in the dark) and asks them to guess the walker's sexual orientation.

(Watch Video 1 , Video 2 , Video 3 , and Video 4 and see whether you can tell if the walker is gay or straight. For the answers, click here).

Sylva's observations focus on the physical characteristics of the individual's stride, such as the closeness of the knees. (Watch how Sylva uses traits to identify gay people )

Why does Sylva, a graduate student at Northwestern University, care so much about how gay people walk? Because he's one of a growing number of researchers who think sexual orientation may be as basic as how you walk, something inborn that you don't choose.

His premise reflects a growing belief among Americans, according to a new CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll. (Poll majority: Gays' orientation can't change ) For the first time a majority of respondents -- about 56 percent -- said they don't believe a person can change his or her sexual orientation. In a similar poll in 2001, 45 percent said orientation couldn't change. In 1998, 36 percent held that belief. The sampling error for Wednesday's results is plus or minus 4.5 percentage points.

A growing number of psychologists and geneticists are working on the "nature versus nurture" question -- a question that's set off a highly charged political debate about whether people choose to be gay, or whether gayness is determined by their DNA.

Take Richard Lippa, a professor of psychology at California State University at Fullerton. His studies show that gay people are twice as likely to be left-handed. He also collects photos of hair whorls -- those circular swirls you see atop a man's head. He says about 10 percent of the general population have whorls that rotate counter-clockwise, but about 20 percent of gay men have counter-clockwise whorls.

Lippa acknowledges that studying hair patterns sounds strange. "It sounds a little like the 'Twilight Zone' or voodoo science," he says. But to Lippa, a link between sexual orientation and something that's clearly inborn (like handedness or the way hair grows) speaks volumes. His theory: You can't choose your whorl, and you can't choose your sexuality, either.

"You're born with either a clockwise or a counter-clockwise hair whorl. It's fixed, it's biologically determined. No one's going to argue that your hair whorl is influenced by learning or culture," he says.

Lippa says his next step is see whether there are specific genes that control sexual orientation.
Douglas Abbott thinks Lippa won't find a thing.

"There is no evidence of a 'gay gene,' " says Abbott, professor of child and family studies at the University of Nebraska.

Abbott points to studies that look at the sexual orientation of the offspring of gay people. "If homosexuality was caused by genetic mechanisms, their children would be more likely to choose same-sex interaction," he says. "But they aren't more likely, so therefore it can't be genetic."
For Abbott, the answer to the nature-vs.-nurture question is very clear. "I think the primary causes of same-sex behavior are environmental and personal choice and free agency," he says. "Can someone change their orientation? The definitive answer to that is, "yes.' "

That makes Gerulf Rieger laugh. "Ask a bunch of straight guys [if they could switch to being gay] and they would tell you, 'Are you kidding me?' " says Rieger, a lecturer in psychology at Northwestern University. "So the other way around doesn't work either."

In his research, Rieger shows videotapes of men and women talking about the weather. Observers have been able to predict with great accuracy whether the person talking is gay or straight. "Even within seconds, people are pretty good at figuring out who's gay and who's not," he says.

Like Sylva with his illuminated walkers, Rieger thinks his research points to genetics, and not choice, as the source of sexual orientation.
"It doesn't seem to be the social environment, it doesn't seem to be the parents or peers that make you gay," he says. "It seems to be something that comes from within

You know, the more of this bullshit that surfaces, the more pissed off I get. Hell, we are gay men. We are PROUD of that. None of us would have it any other way. So why is all of this shit face, so called science resurfacing again, especially as Gay Pride Month draws to a close?

So maybe I have the true test if a guy is gay or straight. Suppose I give him big hairy muscle hugs. If he raises his left hand to give me a hug in return, I can probably determine that he is gay. If he gropes me, then there is more of a certainty.

Such foolishness. But yep, it's more of a certainty than guessing when Paris Hilton will get married, settle down and raise a kid or two, without a nanny in tow. Odds of being left handed and gay might be better. Go figure.

Gay Rape, Something That Must Never Be Tolerated

2007-06-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

SAN FRANCISCO

Campaign to raise awareness of gay rape

San Francisco District Attorney Kamala Harris, Supervisor Bevan Dufty and Police Chief Heather Fong unveiled on Wednesday a new public awareness campaign intended to shine a light on a rarely discussed yet increasingly common crime: gay rape.

Posters will start appearing on Muni buses reading, "I thought he was a great guy until he raped me." A hot line -- (415) 333-4357 -- is available for reporting the crimes, and a new Web site is up at http://www.mensurvivingrape.org/. The campaign comes just before people converge on San Francisco for gay pride weekend.

City officials gathered on the steps of City Hall to discuss the importance of reporting gay rape and sexual assault to authorities -- and doing so quickly so physical evidence can be preserved.

"Rape is wrong not matter the gender, no matter the sexuality," Dufty said. "Our city is prepared to come forward and extend a hand."

Jovida Guevara-Ross, director of Community United Against Violence, said most gay rape goes unreported and that victims' trauma typically lasts well beyond the time of the actual attack. They often experience panic attacks, flashbacks, physical pain and stress.

"We're here for you," she said. "Please call."

Nine cases of gay sexual assault were reported in the city in 2006, but in the first half of 2007, that number is already up to 18. Officials said they believe more attacks are happening this year, but that increased awareness of the importance of reporting the crimes may also contribute to the higher number.

The attacks are almost all happening in the Castro. Anti-crime volunteers began patrolling the neighborhood last fall wearing orange clothing and carrying whistles after two men reported being raped in the area.

One of them, Mark Welsh, spoke up at the press conference Wednesday. He said he was raped by two men on Sanchez Street in September, reported the crime and worked diligently with police -- but that his case went nowhere. He said he had no idea 18 sexual assaults have already happened this year, and that city officials need to do a better job of alerting Castro residents of danger spots.

"I'm appalled and astounded that I'm unaware of all these," he told Harris during the press conference. "There is a lack of communication."

Fong said the Police Department provides maps of where sexual assaults take place, but does not break them out by gender. She said the department will start providing crime maps by gender this week so gay men can see exactly where and at what time of day other men have been assaulted.

Under no circumstances can gay rape ever be condoned or tolerated. Gay male sex is always consensual. Never can a gay guy think that he can force himself on another guy to have sex. If a guy isn't interested in sex, that must be the final word. There is no grey area.